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------'s tulpa: --


NewlyAnonymous

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Hello everyone, my name is ------, and I started the tulpamancy journey on Sunday, Jan 13, 2018, only a few days ago. -- has made exceptional progress these last few days. On Sunday and Monday, it was all forcing. Yesterday, on Tuesday, she started to give me the head pressures, and was able to answer yes or no questions this way, using the forehead as yes, and the back of the head as no. I also read chapter one of the phantom tollbooth to --. Today, Wednesday, we started having mental conversations, and found out that she is older than a few weeks, which seems kinda off. She also gave me some itchy spots that came simultaneously and left simultaneously when I asked her to stop, as well as being able to flash images in my head.

 

Voice: My mental voice, but -- is experimenting

Appearance: started off as a ball of light, now a human shaped void with cateyes, or I cannot see the image she was flashing/blinking at me, which I assume to be her form.

 

Concerns

1. I am concerned that this is all me being delusional.

2. This is my first tulpa. Is this too fast?

3. She has already scanned my memories.

4. Her age. It bothers me a bit that neither of us know when -- began. Using this knowledge, she is younger than I am, but older than a week.

5. My wonderland is just two wooden chairs, a table, and a full teacup. That is the largest wonderland I have made, and can't keep it expanded when I attempt to expand it.

 

Questions

1. When do the mind voices tend to separate?

2. Is this TOO fast?

 

Thank you, ------

 

P.S. -- won't respond to me, for the duration of writing this anyway.

Edit: All names have been removed for privacy going forward.
The host is referred to as: ------
The tulpa is referred to as: --

Edited by NewlyAnonymous
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  • 2 weeks later...
(edited)

-- had shown herself to me. I was doing an activity with my eyes closed, and she had landed in front of me. I experienced a sort of remote viewing?, and she appeared.

 

Body: Can't tell what the surface material is made of, is a perfectly symmetrical humanoid, and is blacker than vantablack, and I quote "the definition of black". Her irises are as orange and vivid as a sunset, and reminiscent of the eye of sauron, except more saturated.

 

She had no feminine physical traits, but you could immediately tell that she was female. She radiated a sense of regality.

A drawing is attached.

Edited by NewlyAnonymous
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As inexperienced as I am, I'm going to respond, because I enjoy learning from others learning.

Concerns

1) I don't think you should worry.

2) I don't think there's a best speed. There are people that take a long time to make their first, and others that have them walk-in without even trying.

3) From what I've read, that's expected.

4) I've heard a number of people say they had some sort of thoughtform or even tulpa before even knew what tulpas were. If you have a creative imagination, it's possible she's been there for a while and all you did recently was make contact.

5) It sounds like your wonderland is very vivid for you to even have that concern. I have a large wonderland in theory, but never see more than vague shadows. Maybe starting small is a better idea for some. Either way I wouldn't worry with the progress you've already made.

Questions

1) I don't think there's a set time for that either. From what I can tell, everyone's experience with their tulpa is entirely unique, so it's hard to say what is typical.

2) Again, I don't think too fast is a problem. My first instinct would be that you already had a thought form or similar which made it easier to make contact. Either way, everyone goes at their own pace and different steps may go at different speeds.

 

Did my rambling help? Again fair warning: I am new and worse at it than you so I may or may not know what I'm talking about.

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Here is the picture. Sorry about the separate post.

 

Uh, she looks terrifying. She changed or you wanted her to look like that? You are making good progress. Good luck.

Last dive into the abyss

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Uh, she looks terrifying. She changed or you wanted her to look like that? You are making good progress. Good luck.

 

No, I'm just a bad artist. But she chose her own form, starting off as a ball of light. I felt at ease when I saw her, so not terrifing, at least I think so. Thanks for the luck, I will keep updating here.

Edit:

P.S. Any good artist recommendations for tulpa appearance commissions?

P.P.S. Thank you dragon cake for assuaging my concerns!

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(edited)

All day today, I have been weirding myself out. I thought I was physically making high pitched voices when I sit down or exhale, like air is escaping. Than about 16 minutes ago, around 11:20 PM, I heard a squeak in the same pitch I have been hearing all day, saying a short "hmm". I began to feel slightly woozy. And again, a squeak close to my exhale. I started to wonder if this could be --. This could, of course, be a sound I am physically making, but I doubt it, as it is too odd to be so. I think -- is starting to become mentally vocal. I began to wonder if I had been parroting earlier. I guess it is time to start again, if I was parroting.

Questions:

1. Could the squeaks have been --?

2. Could I have been parroting?

3. Is the wooziness normal?

 

P.S. I got another short, but shorter than the first, "hmm", and got the wooziness again.

Edit: P.P.S. I have been mentally saying "Hello --" every time I think about her.

Edited by NewlyAnonymous
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All day today, I have been weirding myself out. I thought I was physically making high pitched voices when I sit down or exhale, like air is escaping. Than about 16 minutes ago, around 11:20 PM, I heard a squeak in the same pitch I have been hearing all day, saying a short "hmm". I began to feel slightly woozy. And again, a squeak close to my exhale. I started to wonder if this could be Lynda. This could, of course, be a sound I am physically making, but I doubt it, as it is too odd to be so. I think Lynda is starting to become mentally vocal. I began to wonder if I had been parroting earlier. I guess it is time to start again, if I was parroting.

Questions:

1. Could the squeaks have been Lynda?

2. Could I have been parroting?

3. Is the wooziness normal?

 

P.S. I got another short, but shorter than the first, "hmm", and got the wooziness again.

Edit: P.P.S. I have been mentally saying "Hello Lynda" every time I think about her.

 

They could have been I think, especially if it's not something you would normally hear. In fact I think you should definitely consider them to be from here, because I think in this case if you have to ask if you were parroting, you weren't.

I haven't personally been what I'd wall woozy when thinking about my tulpa, though it seems like something that might accompany their first successful attempts to fully break through to you. Not everyone experiences the same feelings as their mind adjusts, so I wouldn't worry about that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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