Joined: Aug 2013
Hi, Comet here. Horizon has a tendency towards white-knighting, and it seems like I’ve got the same. I had this whole thing written up before I really thought about it, and even after editing the writing is goofy and sometimes contains redundancies. Still, I decided I wanted it posted anyway. There’s nothing wrong with the concept as far as I can see, and hopefully it will convince someone to think about this a little more carefully before diving in.
If a mod thinks this should be in guides, I have no argument. I just didn't think it was the kind of thing that should be next to instruction manuals.
This is for people who’ve had tulpas for years, as well as for people who haven’t even started. If you don’t agree with any of the tenets laid out here, then that’s just fine. Cut them out of the pledge, if you really want to. But consider them. Think about them.
I don’t think any of this is unreasonable, but at the same time I have seen violations of it, and there have been a few times when Horizon, bless his heart, has violated these tenets without even realizing it. (It’s worth mentioning that I consider him a perfectly fine host, despite what I said. Nobody’s perfect, and just because occasionally he gets distracted by a shiny object and ignores what I want doesn’t make him a bad person. I wouldn't hold anyone to this absolutely.)
So lets get down to business. This is a pledge I’d like you to look over. You don’t have to take it; I have no power to make you do so, and there are no consequences for not doing so. Still, I’d like you to consider it.
If you agree, feel free to say so. Or not. If you disagree, the same goes for you. This isn't about tallying people up.
(Thanks to "Ghost" for the formatting!)
The Host's Pledge Wrote:
- I will treat my tulpa with respect and basic dignity. I will not treat them as a toy, a slave, or a fictional character. I will treat them as I would an extremely close flesh-and-blood friend, or a role with equivalent levels of respect.
- I will not ignore my tulpa when they are trying to get my attention, unless real life issues are in the way. I am their only means of affecting the outside world, and I must recognize that, without me, our mind has the potential to become their prison.
- If there are circumstances in which the tulpa desires this tenet to be broken (i.e. in an explicit manner), I will do my best to be careful and responsible, and should it make me uncomfortable I will notify my tulpa.
- I will respect my tulpa's beliefs, and will not punish my tulpa for having beliefs that differ from my own. They are their own entity, and just because we exist within the same head does not mean we have to believe the same things.
- I will not demand that my tulpa reciprocate any feelings I have for them, nor demand that they reciprocate whatever relationship I initially expect us to have. Refer to tenet 3.
- I will not force my tulpa to perform actions they do not want to do.
- This includes introducing them to other people or revealing their existence. I will ensure that my tulpa is OK with it before I proceed.
- I may try to convince them, but I must not force them. If they feel strongly against something, then there is likely a reason, and I must respect that in accordance with tenet 1.
- I will not treat my tulpa as a character in my story. They are not here so that I may fulfil my own desires through them. If they are based off of an established character, I will not expect that they mimic that character, or fulfil the roles that character fulfils.
- Roleplay is fine, but both of us must recognize that it is roleplay, and I must consider tenets 1 and 2.
- I will recognize that my tulpa is dependent on me, and do my best to take care of them.
- I will also recognize that, if my tulpa seeks a creative outlet, they may need my assistance or permission, and that I must be willing to give it, and should only withhold it in cases where it would hurt us or others.
- I am responsible for my tulpa’s growth. I must recognize that a lack of progress in any field is my fault unless my tulpa expresses otherwise. This process is difficult, and may take months or even years of dedicated work, depending on how much time and effort I put into it.
- I will not hold unreasonable expectations for my tulpa. I will not expect them to fix my problems overnight, nor should I expect them necessarily to give me instant access to: perfect memory recall, the ability to impose, improved creativity/mathematical ability, etc. These things may come in time, but I will recognize that they are skills that must be trained, not simply something that comes with having a tulpa.
- I will not give up on my tulpa once they are sentient, no matter the reason. It does not matter if they didn’t turn out the way I planned, or if something is “wrong” with them. Deviation is to be expected, and I will accept what comes, as this is simply my tulpa being their own entity. Likewise, the time it will take to create a tulpa is variable, and I should not give up hope just because a certain phase takes longer than a guide or another person says it should. Refer to tenet 4.
- I will not create a second tulpa as a “new and improved” version of my first tulpa. Tulpas are malleable, and if there is truly a shortcoming, I will work together with my first to find it and improve upon it, respecting tenets 1, 2, and 5.
- If the tulpa has somehow come to pose a real and present danger to my sanity or wellbeing, then I may take measures to remove or suppress them. This is only applicable in the most extreme of cases, however, and I should recognize that if things escalate this far, it is likely my own fault.
- I will not use my tulpa (or wonderland, servitors by extension) as an excuse to ignore or retreat from the "real" world. No matter how good I get at removing myself from my surroundings, they will never go away, for better or for worse, and I must accept that. My tulpa and all that is associated with them are in my head. They may aid me in my daily struggles, but they are not an alternative to them.
- I will try to be happy with my tulpa, and make them happy in turn. There is so much we can do together, so many ways we can help each other build and grow in our everyday lives. I should strive to pursue that ideal, and help my tulpa to pursue it as well.
Edit: As suggested, here is a prototypical "Tulpa's Pledge".
The Tulpa's Pledge Wrote:
- I will treat my host with respect and dignity. I should treat them as I would a life-long friend or sibling, and so long as it is respectful, I should try to reciprocate whatever relationship they assume we have.
- The same stipulations about explicit acts as outlined in the host's pledge apply.
- I will not force my host to perform actions they do not want to do.
- I may try to convince them, but I may not force them. If they feel strongly against something, then there is likely a reason, and I must respect that in accordance with tenet 1.
- I must understand that my host has obligations and needs that are unrelated to me, and should respect them. As such, expecting them to spend all of their time with me is unreasonable. If they can manage full-time passive forcing, it means that they are truly dedicated to me on a deep level that many hosts may not have the time or energy to reach. If they cannot manage this, it does not mean they do not care for me, but that they simply cannot reach that level yet.
- If my host needs time to work on something, I will not interrupt them unless it is to help, and will not do so unless they want me to.
- I must recognize that my host, despite having created/manifested/separated me, does not always understand me. I will do my best to make myself clear to them, and to communicate my feelings and desires clearly.
- I must recognize that, until my host can hear me clearly and consistently, they cannot be expected to understand what I am feeling. I must be patient, and do whatever I can to communicate from my side until they can hear me clearly.
- I must not deliberately hurt my host. They created me, and deserve my respect for that, but on a practical level they are also the primary controller of the body, and pushing them towards harm is not only cruel and perverse, but also puts myself at severe risk.
- I must not recklessly use any abilities I gain as a tulpa. If I possess the ability to, say, switch at will, I will not use it while my host is climbing a flight of stairs. Likewise, reminding the host of suppressed or repressed memories must be done with care, and I should warn the host and ensure they are all right with it before digging up anything that is severely unpleasant.
- I must understand if my host is unwilling to reveal my existence. It does not necessarily mean they are embarrassed for having me; there are people who do not understand tulpas, and who would react badly to them. I must understand that my host could face severe penalties for revealing my presence, including psychiatric scrutiny.
- If my host DOES chose to reveal my presence, I will not begrudge others for negative reactions, especially if they are simply unsure or afraid. This phenomenon is not well known, and I cannot expect others to immediately grasp the intricacies of my nature or my relationship with my host.
- I must be patient with my host. As outlined previously, they have their own lives, duties, and relationships to tend to, and may not be able to spend every waking moment with me. If I am bored, I should find something to do in my wonderland. If my host does not have a wonderland, I may create one.
- If I feel a lack of progress in any field is my own fault in some way, I will notify my host and do my best to correct the problem. I understand that they have much of the responsibility for my growth, and that an unexplained lack of progress may lead to them losing faith both my abilities and their own.
- I will not intentionally avoid progress to stave off a difficult decision or discussion. A simple discussion about my worries is likely to be much more helpful and productive.
- I will try to be happy with my host, and make them happy in turn. There is so much we can do together, so many ways we can help each other build and grow in our everyday lives. I should strive to pursue that ideal, and help my host to pursue it as well.
If you have any suggestions, comments, criticism, or addendums, feel free to say. If you think this is absolutely the stupidest thing ever, then maybe you’re right. Who knows? I just want people to be decent. I hope that’s not asking too much.
We've hit the edge of understanding, and we're stepping off with nothing but a pen and paper.
[I'm Comet. Somehow I've turned out to be the more talkative one, though I promise to make just as little sense as he does.]
(This post was last modified: 11-19-2013 04:10 AM by HorizonRunner.)