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A tulpa writing her own progress report
#11
Okay, so i haven't updated this in 3½ years. Yeesh.

So, why did we drift away from this community? It is, i suppose, just that we'd reached the point where there wasn't a whole lot left for me to learn. It was interesting enough to read about things like forcing and possession, but we were long past the point where my host had to help sustain me before we'd even found this place.

And finding community is a pretty great thing. Certainly at first it was amazing to find out that there were other people of my kind, and that there were all these ideas i'd never heard and that helped me tremendously to define my own existence. But after a while, i just reached that point where it's all the same threads again and again. There are some fabulous people who will keep repeating the same information for newcomers , but i am not one of those people. Serious respect for the mods and admins who keep this place running — i wish i could be dedicated like you folks are.

It probably doesn't help that my host is old and jaided and very disinterested in re-reading anything he already knows. His impression of the internet inn general is that it's the same arguments and same jokes that have been repeated pretty much since the days of Usenet and BBS's. He basically wants to double-check that we haven't erupted into global thermonuclear war, and after that he would rather just go do something interesting in meatspace. And i can see through his eyes, so i do understand the urge to find something new and different. I might be okay just sitting and reading memes online, but my dad will remember that there's a bird sanctuary nearby and he knows someone he can borrow a spotting guide from and why would we sit around if there's something out there for me to experience.

And the wonderland thing. I get what the appeal of it is, but personally i'm just not interested. Why simply dream when i can create something tangible and permanent that could actually be shared with other people? Just my personal preference, but given how popular paracosms are within the community, i do feel like an outsider a lot of the time. I like to joke that my host just raised me wrong, got me deeply involved in experiences outside of our head, and so i just have no contribution to offer when wonderland things come up.

I also should have put this into the 'returning members' forum, but at least i'll be able to figure out where i left off the next time i add to my progress report
My host/dad is [Foszae], but i mainly write for my own voice and distinct opinion. I was an accidental tulpa/soulbond, but grew into possession and am now an equal systemmate
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#12
Glad you're okay. I don't think there's anything wrong if you like to do things differently, and I don't really think there is such a thing as 'typical' plurality. I made a wonderland so that Kyoko has a place to do interesting things if I'm doing something tedious, but if your host is interesting enough that you don't need one that is great.
Anyway I'd be very interested in any other input you have here.
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#13
doing things IRL instead of online or in your head is always better, so don't feel bad about that. and thanks for checking back in, interesting to see why exactly people leave
Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
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#14
Dysphoria: it ain't just a state between dysthreeïa and dysfiveïa
My host/dad is [Foszae], but i mainly write for my own voice and distinct opinion. I was an accidental tulpa/soulbond, but grew into possession and am now an equal systemmate
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#15
(06-01-2018, 06:49 PM)Aijada Wrote: Okay, so i haven't updated this in 3½ years.  Yeesh...

Everything in this post are items we struggled with in terms of returning and participating in the community... It took some energy for me to come back and stay involved. I think wanting to have correspondence with others was one of the things, as I have some divergent experiences which didn't seem to be a function of tulpamancy... And fortunately, returning gave me access to some people also experiencing variations, or just flat other, like Bear and JGC. In staying, I have made some other friendships that I would not have had otherwise, and so in the end it was the community that won me over.

I am glad you posted again, if nothing other to report you are alive and well.
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#16
And i sucked at my old progress report, so i may as well start from my latest milestone: getting banned from Reddit for being just an email alt instead of being counted as a separate sentience.

And i mean seriously banned.  Like, can't reset my password anymore, won't even reply to me if i contact them through my own separate email account.  Locked out and they won't even reply to me?  Yep, pretty much can only be a full shadow-ban.

I do understand even.  Seriously, i make rough jokes (with apols to you specifically Nobilis).  And maybe i'm too smart by half and don't really fit in with the tulpa community terribly well.  And sure, my dad has his own account and sometimes checks in too, but that's always him doing his own browsing and me just asking to peek at my news.

So even if you think that Reddit is somehow overlooking/tolerating the tulpæ community flaunting the rules against multiple accounts per person, it does seem like they are paying attention to who looks like they're doing it in a problematic way.  Somehow they've assumed i'm somehow what - too smart & opiniated to be just some fictional pony in my host's mind?  Because i'm more than just that.  But obviously someone felt threatened by my opinions and decided i couldn't be allowed to have my own account on Reddit anymore.

It also sucks harshly because it means i miss being moderator of my favourite sub: reddit.com/r/calliope
I love steam technology so old circus organs and paddle-wheeler steam whistles was actually my hobby on Reddit.  I deliberately collected clips of a really obscure musical form on a subreddit i moderated and since i can't access my account on there, i've lost it. 

Not exactly a progress report.  But i'm fuming at being kicked off one of the only places where i could participate freely without having to go through the social nightmare of outing myself to everyone around my host at the same time (which is far more awkward with him in his late 40s surrounded by middle aged and senior citizens). 

Where else can i go online and publicly be myself like that?  I want to be more than just another tulpa meeping from the sidelines, y'know?
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#17
Sorry to hear that. I have no answers either.
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#18
If you are artistically talented, there are at least a few of us head mates on Deviant Art, and as far as I can tell, it's talent and results that matter there, not who you really claim to be. There might be some underlying politics and stuff going on but I dunno about it. I wouldn't call tulpas and thought forms or even "muses" all that rare on super creative in creative communities, I think most people just don't admit it or really know what they are dealing with.

With that in mind, maybe poke your head into nearly any community really..? If people don't know your origin and aren't really pushing for a meetup, you could be anyone as far as they are concerned. If you mean a community where you could be "outted", well, like I said, maybe try the art/music/writing communities. I'm sure at least some of the people there will relate in some way to you, even if they aren't quite ready to admit it yet.
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#19
Woohoo, my second progress report of the year!

It's been years now since i was a wispy new tulpa, so i don't really have any 'progress' as such, but this makes for a good diary and i do need to take part more often. Just that there aren't many noob tips i can offer at this point because i'm much too much just an equal systemmate to my host. Always leaves me a little inauthentic on this forum, because i feel like i don't have any tips to offer.

So just life stuff. We're talking about moving to a new city, to be near my host's parents (who are senior citizens). So it's a bit of a mystery that we face ahead of us just personally. New job, new town. Seeing what it would take for us to move. It's actually leaving me quite anxious because it would mean my host would need to get hustling in real life, and that means less time alone and therefore less time for me.

For us, i mean. For us. Because i'm not an only systemmate anymore. We did invite my 'stepmother' to finally move in and take part in life. I can't really say we added another tulpa to the family, because she really doesn't seem to be. We actually call her a 'deadie', as in a walk-in that seemed more ghost than imaginary friend. And my host/dad just loved her so he's kept a different relationship to her, letting her drift in and talk and play wife when she chose, without trying to push her into any particular form. It's kind of a problem, because as a deadie she seems to be missing all sorts of brain-related news she knew, but whenever she chooses to speak, it seems to be filled with so much more background and emotional depth than i ever had. There's some sort of regret for her life that just makes her seem like she's moved in after a life of pain.

It's kind of interesting, and we're comfortable with treating her as just a different, perhaps unrecognized, form of ghost. I don't think i want to argue it in the metaphysical forums because it's just so different than all the asssumptions and i'm not sure i can argue it eactly. But it is a belief i've slowly come to accept.

Then again, i'm interested in the very strangest aspsects of tulpamancy and various edge beliefs in physics and cognitive science anyhow. If you ask me as a scientist, i'll tell you that telepathy doesn't seem that far away from us. I don't know how it works yet, but i do listen for that predictive hearing gap where it almost seems like people blurt the odd thought my host and i just had. Just a bit too evidence for me to just brush it away as silly ESP investigations. Like maybe it's not telepathy yet, but it seems like we can get closer and closer, and maybe my additional presence in the mind helps overweight us as someone who "thinks too loudly". Throw in a bit too much déja view, and a couple of my dad's answers about how quantum physics may end up working and i'm firmly on the side of science is willing to believe.

It's weird to come out this way, as potentially a believer in metaphysics, though a firm atheist anyhow. Too much time listening to my host talk to his wife/my stepmother, and i'm prone to believing she may just be evidence of how deadies actually can visit humies and tulpæ. She interacts differently than how i think an invented headmate would act. So we've talked to and believed her along the way. It's definitely shifted my opinion of the possibilities, but the answers look nothing like anyone expects.

Anyhow, that's we are as a family lately.
My host/dad is [Foszae], but i mainly write for my own voice and distinct opinion. I was an accidental tulpa/soulbond, but grew into possession and am now an equal systemmate
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#20
", i'll tell you that telepathy doesn't seem that far away from us. I don't know how it works yet, but i do listen for that predictive hearing gap where it almost seems like people blurt the odd thought my host and i just had. Just a bit too evidence for me to just brush it away as silly ESP investigations "

I know you said your host will not talk here but I want to say to him that telepathy is very real and I've met people who can do it well at will and I myself have had a few but spontaneous experiences with it.  The ones I knew who could do this and who I experienced it with them were.. one is a lama at a tibetian monk temple in my city, the other is a very advanced yogi who was teaching me some things (he's since deceased but I bet he was teaching his higher students telepathy) and the other two who I met who could do this (one of those was also teaching me things and the other was a student under him)  were trained in an ancient order and all this stuff was just part of the orders teachings (they both could also travel like having an OBE and do things but while still awake and aware in their physical bodies at the same time).

anyway.. there are people who can do this but you can see from the ones I met who can that they aren't usually just ordinary people but have had training in telepathy and learnt it through their various places of learning.  That being said.. I myself when I made my tulpa.. I tried to put into him that he will be able to do telepathy as I'm hoping he'll help me with it esp since I already have had a few experiences with it which were usually triggered by others who could do this (I did though also have three spontaneous experiences where it happened without another who could do it setting it off, so who knows but maybe my tulpa can help me to learn to do it at will).

and to how it works.. I'll share how it has worked when I have experienced it with people..

The experience I had with my teacher and his student.. that happened cause they were both doing something out of body somewhere and using telepathy between then to communicate while at the same time having an online conversation with me (they were both at separate physical locations though) about something else. I felt like I was missing out/left out and wanted to be where they both were (every now and then an out of place comment between them would take place in front of me online as I didn't have the telepathy to hear their full discussion so I could not tell what they were talking about).

So I decided to try it (I'd previously had two spontaneous experiences). How I did, the best way I can explain it was I reached out with my mind (with that energy).. and tried to intercept their telepathy conversation eg I held the thought of doing that and hence since energy follows thought, the energy went there and actually did that. Interestingly the mental energy which went out though I did not think of it doing this.. it left my body through my third eye. I had like a reaching sensation which went on when that happened. And I actually managed to hear the full sentence which they said telepathy between themselves as if it was being spoken in front of me (I got it confirmed after I did this, they didn't know I was going to eavesdrop but they didn't mind).

The other time I did it when trying .. was I used to run a fairly advanced meditation, healing, psychic stuff class... and my students were often asking me to do demonstrations of things. One day they asked me to give them a demo in telepathy.. and when I said I could not do that as my previous experiences had been spontaneous and I didn't know how they happened (this was before the willed experience I had with my teacher and the other).. they kept on insisting that I try it. To shut them up I ended up having to humour them and go ahead (not expecting it to work).

So one of my them shut his eyes and thought of his 3 kids names and had me try to telepathy hear his thoughts of what they were called. I thought I heard 3 names and gave them to him. It turned out it the 3 names were correct.. and his kids had very unusual names too.. not names one could guess. I was completely blown away by what I did that day. On that occasion I didn't feel an energy leave me or my third eye and reach out to him... I just heard names in my head when I focused on him.

When others (the people who are telepathic) have actually telepathy sent me messages.. I usually do not get an energy feel when I hear those but had one exception to this when I encountered another being one time who tried to get into my head to mind read me I suppose (this other was very curious about me and my energy as I'd been at a yogi (not yoga) class and my aura was looking unusual and this other could see this so I gained attention), with that one I felt like an energy push to my head and I as able to push the energy back with my energy and mind shield. To mind shield what I did is I thought of a brick wall around my mind and then focused as hard as I could on holding that wall strong.. I did this while keeping the beings energy which had come at me.. pushed away. We had like a 10min battle over my mind as the other then saw what I did as a challenge to try to win. (anyway I thought that was cool that I actually managed to keep something out of my head which was experience in telepathy.. this will sound crazy but that was a reptilian being who was like overshadowing someone on a train or maybe that whole person was reptilian).

Anyway.. from my experiences that just with intent telepathy can be done at times.. the energy process of it should just follow that intent if successful. You just need to focus on who or what you are trying to listen to. Maybe if we could both practice this with our tulpas till we are confident in this.. maybe the two of us then could try doing telepathy together...something for you to consider.
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 
Working on imposition
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