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Aborting a tulpa?


Mongoose

Wat do?  

17 members have voted

  1. 1. Wat do?

    • You fool! What have you done!?
      6
    • You're fine, silly.
      6
    • It's over! Make a new one!
      2
    • NO don't make a new one!
      3


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I'll start of my saying that my progression on my tulpa is not very good, I couldn't have gotten more than 10 hours in, and that I was horribly inconsistent with my tulpaforcing.

I've been working on and off with my tulpa, Luna, for a bit less then two months now. School has been keeping me busy and I'm terribly lazy.

Anyway, I was tulpaforcing two days ago and I was working on visualizing her. This part has become increasingly difficult since I'm converting her appearance from a cartoon (this), to realism, and with my level of visualization skill, is damn hard.

 

Anyway, I was mediating, visualizing her and this is when it went downhill. With each passing second, her movements became stiff and congealed, her expression and demeanor became painted and grotesque. And her skin began to peel off like paint on a marionette. I freaked out and in a state of agony and panic grabbed her skin and clothes and ripped it from her body, leaving only a ghost like, blank faced appearance. Still panicked, I went up to the figure and crushed it with my hands, leaving nothing but a puff and cloud of smoke.

 

My questions are 1., did I just kill my tulpa? And 2., If I didn't, is she still salvageable or is it best to begin with a blank slate once again?

"Your parents will never be magic talking horses"

-Anonymous

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Uh, wow.

 

I recall it being very common for tulpae to go through a "dying" stage just before becoming sentient, isn't that right? Between just not talking much to, well, that I guess.

This hot empty painting should be locked and towed.

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Guest

Uh, wow.

 

I recall it being very common for tulpae to go through a "dying" stage just before becoming sentient, isn't that right? Between just not talking much to, well, that I guess.

 

Since when do tulpa talk before becoming sentient?

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Since when do tulpa talk before becoming sentient?

 

You know, the in-between stage when they're kinda sentient but just barely coherent and can hardly talk

This hot empty painting should be locked and towed.

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You know, the in-between stage when they're kinda sentient but just barely coherent and can hardly talk

 

She has never spoken without me puppeting her. Not even garbled verbal recognition. I don't even think I've gotten an emotional response from her yet. And while I do quite like and hope your 'dying stage' hypothesis is correct, it's doubtful. :(

"Your parents will never be magic talking horses"

-Anonymous

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Guest

Relax, stop binding your tulpa to the appearance and think of her more like a mind. Put her body back together and it should be fine. Try to focus and eventually you'll learn to deal with intrusive thoughts like these.

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Guest Anonymous

I doubt you killed it. Perhaps it was deviation?

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Oh you silly Mongoose. I had a similar experience waaaaaaay back in day 10 or so (113 days now). I visualized Kate and she had bloody holes in place of her eyes, and she was screaming but i couldnt hear anything. So i just grabbed her head and made it like i was shaping clay back into her original form. Problem solved.

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I had a problem like this last night where Lauren grew some painful looking bony protrusions from her face. She's in kind of early pre-sentience (her level of communication is somewhere around that of a house cat right now) so I asked her if she meant to do this, and when I was sure she didn't, I just relaxed and focused, turned away from her and re-imagined her as she was, and she was fine. Sometimes our minds do crazy things during visualization, like how crazy things happen at random in dreams. You are in control though and can fix things like that pretty easily.

 

I don't know how easy it is to "kill" a tulpa by any means other than dissipating or reabsorbing it so your tulpa probably isn't dead. Try some more visualization today and just imagine her as she was before things went all surreal on you.

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I visualized Kate and she had bloody holes in place of her eyes, and she was screaming but i couldnt hear anything.

 

 

That can't be healthy, also thank you for the reassuring comments.

"Your parents will never be magic talking horses"

-Anonymous

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