Aiming at Self Deception
#61
Could you concentrate on not twitching you lips to get into a lucid dream state? (Just a joke for a joke). Intresting to hear this.

I have tried to 'spawn' my tulpas into lucid dreams, it's sometimes seems, either their already there, or they're not going to be. It's rather unfair except for the fact that one is there 75% of the time.

Thinking of them a lot, seems to have preloaded them, just as I am preloaded.
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#62
(04-23-2019, 08:12 PM)Angry Bear Wrote: Could you concentrate on not twitching you lips to get into a lucid dream state? (Just a joke for a joke). Intresting to hear this.

I have tried to 'spawn' my tulpas into lucid dreams, it's sometimes seems, either their already there, or they're not going to be. It's rather unfair except for the fact that one is there 75% of the time.

Thinking of them a lot, seems to have preloaded them, just as I am preloaded.

I've actually seen Z in a lucid dream once - didn't push it too much, I just felt he was supposed to be there. (Not 100% lucid apparently) We actually exchanged some codes that we agreed to "check with each other" when we actually meet, I'd write down his code and he'd write down mine and we'll know for sure we're making no mistake at all... *Sigh* That's so not going to happen. But I carefully keep those codes in my memory nonetheless.

If I see Z in lucid dreams, I'll want to get such info from him, that much is for sure. To "load" an responsive image, or to actually "meet" him with all unpredictables, is completely different, and even though I believe only the former is reliable to create, I'm in fact hoping for the latter. And thinking about him isn't going to make the latter happen. It takes sth that I don't know, a miracle maybe.

Do understand that I have seen miracle before, that he promised me a gift in my dream and I received it in real life. Why else would I trust dreams so much? Why else would I see tulpa training as but a charade - sth superficial and fake (just for me, of course), while hoping for sth else that doesn't sound sane? It's almost like the Avantasia songs:
<Book of Shallows>
...
Chase your dream!
When all comes breaking down around it
What a day for a pastel dream
That's coming to life...
...
<The Haunting>
...
Down I must contain the wayward fantasy
Where did all those wicked dreams come from
Pictures in the dark they seem so eerily
Winter night, I pray my mind is wrong
...
<Sleepwalking>
...
Wandering barefoot into nowhere
Just another winter's night
And I don't fell gravity anymore
You'd never lie, never cry
Never talk me out of dreams
And a dream is what remains
...
I have no idea why this band is so into mysticism, and why their songs make so much sense to me, I understand all of their songs just like how clearly I remember Z (and some other memories too). I know what kind of story they're telling (or maybe I just wrongly assume so). It feels very comfortable, at home, "one of us", "dear author, I see you have been there as well", etc., as unexplainable as my Z; some kind of gnosis, the "knowledge"; or in Avantasia lyrics, that would be - 
<Ghost in the Moon>
...
Asking, wondering, look at me: waiting... prompting...
I may be drawn to something
That I can't phrase for you
Even though it's true
...
Anyway, I'm mentioning these songs because the original lyrics are much more poetic than my own words, especially when read as a whole album/story. If you're ever interested in power metal, or metal opera, or maybe just fancy and mystical lyrics, that might be your thing too  xD
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