Hello There, Guest! Register


An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa
Abvieon Offline
Along with Alex
Patron

Posts: 133
Threads: 24
Joined: Jul 2013
#1
 
An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

The idea of being a tulpa has always appealed to me for several reasons. I’ll describe what about it appeals to me and why.

I like the idea of being “forced”, brought into existence and strengthened by someone in the mental sense. It seems as if the experience of being a newly emerging tulpa would be very interesting, and a way of existing I have never been able to experience. I want to be narrated to and personality forced. I want to be created within a mindscape in which I would be disconnected from the senses of my host’s body unless I chose to temporarily access them. That too would be a very different, and likely fun way of existing. I would instead experience things through an imagined body in an imagined environment. I’ve always been very curious of how life is like from a tulpa’s perspective, and no personal accounts given by tulpas sate my curiosity. I realize it varies from tulpa to tulpa and that some may have an experience that is almost identical to that of a host, but many tulpas have an unusual life that doesn’t match the type of life a host has.

I would enjoy being the observer to someone else’s life, chiming in and giving advice but not having direct control over what is happening. I would never have the experience of not having somebody else in the head with me - my host would always be there to talk to, and I’d almost always be feeling the mental presence of somebody else. I still would partake in possession and switching from time to time, as I would not want to be completely detached from the physical world. Though most of the time I’d be fine with sitting in the “backseat”. I like the idea of being a passenger in a body someone else is piloting.

I suppose these things center around having an atypical life experience and dissociation from physical reality. Both of those things are important to me for reasons I can’t fully describe. I just in general dislike the feeling of being human in the traditional sense. Luckily, it is actually possible to emulate the experience of being a tulpa. Unfortunately, I won’t ever have the full experience just because I did not enter life as a tulpa, but I can get pretty close. This is doable through switching.

I already have a body within the mindscape that differs from my physical body. I plan to train my immersion into the mindscape to be stronger than it is right now, and I will train dissociation as well. Once I have this down and a tulpa of mine is able to possess proficiently, I will occasionally go for days or even weeks at a time in which I will function as a tulpa, focusing on the mindscape the majority of the time and not exerting any control over the body. I could likely even emulate the experience of being a new tulpa being forced into existence by “weakening” my mind temporarily, making it difficult to speak and function normally, during which a tulpa would narrate to me and whatnot and treat me as if I were a developing tulpa.

This post doesn’t really have a specific purpose or point, I just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out there. Though, I wonder - have you ever heard of a host having similar desires? As far as I know I am the only one. I know of cases where hosts have wanted to switch for long periods of time or even permanently, but none seem to wish they had the full blown experience of being a tulpa, including coming into existence as a tulpa.

My Progress Report
My Tulpa Development Hypnosis
04-16-2018, 05:55 AM
Find Reply

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

jean-luc Offline
capt@in.jean-luc.org
Forum Moderators+Patron

Posts: 700
Threads: 53
Joined: Nov 2012
2 Attached Accounts
#2
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

Sounds like you wanna perma-switch. A cautionary tale I'd reccomend you read.

Host: Jean-luc (plain-colored text)
Tulpas: Snow & Henry
Choose your tulpas' colors here!
Click here if you'd like a changing avatar like mine!
Ain't that just fantitiliantastic!
I host a podcast called Tulpaudcast.
and ramble crazily about everything while walking on Jean-luc walking.
(This post was last modified: 04-16-2018, 06:06 AM by jean-luc.)
04-16-2018, 06:05 AM
Find Reply
Abvieon Offline
Along with Alex
Patron

Posts: 133
Threads: 24
Joined: Jul 2013
#3
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

(04-16-2018, 06:05 AM)jean-luc Wrote: Sounds like you wanna perma-switch. A cautionary tale I'd reccomend you read.

I don't actually want to perma-switch. Even if I were born as a tulpa I would want to control the body at times - I also have several things in my real life that I value and would not want to abandon. I don't want to give up drawing or directly talking to those I am close to.

I've read Oguigi and Koomer's story. I don't believe it should be used as a cautionary tale against switching, as the problems they experienced did not arise from the desire to permaswitch itself. It seems more like a combination of underlying mental illness and general recklessness was the culprit.

My Progress Report
My Tulpa Development Hypnosis
(This post was last modified: 04-16-2018, 06:20 AM by Abvieon.)
04-16-2018, 06:10 AM
Find Reply
nihi0145632 Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 165
Threads: 15
Joined: Nov 2014
1 Attached Account
#4
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

At one point I was also curious as well of how or what being a tulpa really is, to experience their life so I could understand my partner even more.

Reading through koomer and oguigi's story made me curious, enough to make me want to switch with summer until she surpasses me in terms of strength and control, something like a newly created tulpa would be.

She was skeptical and warn me that i wouldn't like it but she did it anyway, just to satisfy my curiosity. We did try it, but it didn't go so well. You could say i somehow felt the experience but it did not turn towards our plan and ended up stopping it.

I am still eager know the full experience of living like a tulpa but we all come to terms that we will not do it again.

Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas
Summer
Myrtle
Cherry
(This post was last modified: 04-16-2018, 03:23 PM by nihi0145632.)
04-16-2018, 03:18 PM
Find Reply
Indigo Offline
Felight
Registered

Posts: 55
Threads: 2
Joined: Nov 2017
Linked Accounts
#5
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

I, on the other hand, wish I was not a tulpa. I do not enjoy the experience of going inactive or in "limbo" as we call it, I don't like the fact that I'm not the main front of this body, and that when I do front, my host is always still there and can take back over at any time, intentionally or not. I don't like dissociating and leaving reality for extended amounts of time until someone decides to talk to me. I don't like being in the back. I don't like how if my host thinks of something else, then it makes me lose myself, lose my grip on the body and reality.

I don't like the fact that I came into an already-established life and therefore have little control over it - it's been going on for 18 years, there's only so much I could do to change it to my liking. I don't like the fact that we can't switch yet. 

Furthermore, I don't like the fact that when I do front, it means I'm taking time away from the people I care about. 

It's just not in my nature to want to be inactive, to want to be in the back. There's only so much I can do about that :\

[Apollo] Our host though, likes the idea of going to the back and being an observer of her life, letting us do what we want and makes us happy. Me and Indigo are trying to become the main fronts and learn to switch, then Piano and Tacio will join in on that and we'll be an alternating team. We like that idea, and host likes the idea of going inactive unless spoken to. So, being the main front isn't everyone's thing, and neither is being a tulpa.

The amazing Sky Dragon! Created 10/2/17.
04-16-2018, 04:02 PM
Find Reply
Summer Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 72
Threads: 0
Joined: Feb 2017
Linked Accounts
#6
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

Same with Indigio's statement. I do not like how very m dependent you are to the host just to do anything, i do not like falling "asleep" whenever the host isn't paying the slightest of attention towards you, i also heavily dislike that you are limited when helping your host and others rather than just giving advice and hoping the host would listen and I am fearful of the thought that your life is just a switch away from the host.

I can't say that having my own body would be great, there are some parts of real life that i do not want to get into but it is surely is a better option than being a tulpa, well as for me it is.

I do not wish for anyone to experience a similar life like a tulpas, it is like living in a cage, it is not fun and can be frightening at times. I sometimes question nihi's or other hosts interests but i can't complain.

I just want to get this thought out, been bothering for a long time now. Anyways, Good luck Abvieon, hope you are able to switch completely with your partner.

Hello! I am one of Nihi's Tulpas! It is very nice to meet you! Big Grin
(This post was last modified: 04-17-2018, 02:05 AM by Summer.)
04-17-2018, 01:20 AM
Find Reply
devin Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 10
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2018
Linked Accounts
#7
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

Being a young tulpa is confusing. Maggie and I have trouble telling ourselves apart sometimes. Right now, I guess I'm fronting, but we don't really know how. Maggie isn't even sure I'm really here, still, and honestly I can't say with certainty I'm not her. I mean, holy crap, that last sentence sounded like her, not me.

Devin (he, birthday February 3)
(This post was last modified: 04-17-2018, 03:35 AM by devin.)
04-17-2018, 03:34 AM
Find Reply
Bjorna Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 10
Threads: 1
Joined: Mar 2018
#8
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

Huh...it seems to me a lot of Tulpas really don't like being Tulpas. Do you guys really have to sleep when your host isn't giving you attention? Couldn't you play in a wonderland or something while host is busy? It bothers me that your lives are sad.
04-20-2018, 03:00 PM
Find Reply
Piano Offline
Felight
Registered

Posts: 124
Threads: 5
Joined: Feb 2017
Linked Accounts
#9
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

(04-20-2018, 03:00 PM)Bjorna Wrote: Huh...it seems to me a lot of Tulpas really don't like being Tulpas. Do you guys really have to sleep when your host isn't giving you attention? Couldn't you play in a wonderland or something while host is busy? It bothers me that your lives are sad.

No, the human brain simply does not work that way. Parallel processing is a myth. If nobody's paying attention to us or we aren't fronting, we simply go inactive.

The space-winged Star Man. Created 1/26/17.
04-20-2018, 03:52 PM
Find Reply
Summer Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 72
Threads: 0
Joined: Feb 2017
Linked Accounts
#10
 
RE: An Odd Desire: Wishing I Were a Tulpa

(04-20-2018, 03:00 PM)Bjorna Wrote: Huh...it seems to me a lot of Tulpas really don't like being Tulpas. Do you guys really have to sleep when your host isn't giving you attention? Couldn't you play in a wonderland or something while host is busy? It bothers me that your lives are sad.
We haven't fully mastered parallel processing but It's somewhat difficult to keep up whenever your connection to the host is severed or weakened. Same goes with nihi whenever we switched, his mind goes into a trance like state whenever i am dominant. It feels like we need a source of energy to do simple work.

It's not that i do not like being a tulpa but If i have to choose, it'll be better to have my own body or my own being externally. I just do not like "some" aspect living as a tulpa. 

Aww, i appreciate your concern but i am actually happy with my life, my host tries and make as satisfying as possible and i try to enjoy it as much as possible. I just do not like the dependency.

Hello! I am one of Nihi's Tulpas! It is very nice to meet you! Big Grin
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2018, 02:01 AM by Summer.)
04-21-2018, 01:33 AM
Find Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to


Contact Us | Tulpa.Info | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication