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Angry Bear's Heroines
Cat_ShadowGriffin Offline
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#31
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

lol, I'm a little lost for words but I appreciate it! I'm glad you guys are doing better and having better days.

I don't know why, but I really like the color purple, probably a second favorite or whatever. Cat originally associated me with a darker shade of purple, but that changed.

Dissipation is hard to talk about. It's not a conversation I recommend when in an anxious mood either. I don't have much else to say about this.

Also, Hi Ashley, Dashie, and Misha! Smile

Pretty much my Wonderland form minus the glasses and the fur. I'm not a hippo, I promise.
Ranger now speaks in light blue text, but some of his older posts are in blue text and his oldest posts are in orange text.
10-02-2018, 12:54 PM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#32
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

October 3, 2018 167 days.

Our system is doing a lot better lately. Maybe the worst of our squabbles are over.

1. What do we do with our system in its current state? We're all very happy but we're also constantly bickering about time and attention. How is this sustainable?

2. I need to fix myself, we need a means to test theories. WIP

EDIT: November 26, 2018 - using a back seat fronting filter, i was able to thinken my skin and toughen up a bit. Given the depression really hasn't come back, and we've all been really happy lately, I'm going to say that I'm good enough now to scratch off #2.

There's always room for improvement, but it's clear sailing ahead and i've weathered a few stormes successfully lately that would have sunk me before. As a surprising (not so suprising) result the drama in my life has gone to background levels. I can only thank the cooperation of my tulpas and this amazing community for that. To go from painful daily depression and self loathing to 'generally happy' with no external changes is a remarkable and humbling turn of events.

3. How do I deal with disagreements that I feel I have dominated the answer. Call them forbidden subjects or actions that they request that I can't budge on. (Like if a tulpa is angry at people I know and saying hurtful things about them. All I have done is calm her down and correct her in the past.)

Just for light.
I can see light.

Is this a dream?

The sky brightens, it's so beautiful... I'm beyond words.

No, this can't be.

My angels, light graces your faces like a hallowed sight from heaven.

But why are you crying?
Why am I crying?

Why is there light?

In my hands are tools, powerful weapons against the darkness.

I'm shaking, this can't be real. No, please wake me from this dream now or the shock of reality will kill me.

"It is not a dream, but the battle is far from over. Be ever vigilant my love, and use my light to guide you."

The Whole Story - Chat
(This post was last modified: 11-26-2018, 06:14 PM by Angry Bear.)
10-03-2018, 04:32 PM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#33
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

October 11, 2018 172 days.

For those of you who are reading this, and have followed, we thank you and hope it wasn't too crazy. There have been some things in the last week that have been even too rough to put in my personal journal, a lucid nightmare and something IRL that was like getting kicked int he gut. These are the sort of things that would have sent me to the edge three weeks ago. Surprisingly they didn't effect my mood at all. I've always kinda felt normal even at the worst of everything except during an episode, I haven't had an episode for a long time now and it feels remarkable. I do have tools in place to keep things like self doubt out of my mind, and I was basically beating myself up all the time, but now I recognize it and stop it, it helps immensely.

October 3, 2018

We've been spending some time on Discord, and it's not the most interesting experience but it has been a little helpful in some ways. At the very least to get perspective.

October 4, 2018

We've had very minimal hypnagogic states, the little we do have is always fun. I'm still in awe when I can hear their voices or just catch a glimpse of them without any effort. I heard that for some, this state takes energy, effort to maintain images and sounds, but for me, it's the lack of effort when they pop up. Wonderland for me takes some effort, lucid dreams are like a free ride, mentally.

October 5, 2018

Horrible lucid nightmare! It was too awful to repeat here. I ran to Ashley’s room and woke her up and she helped me get over it. I just kept thinking about it over and over and she talked me down from it to the point that we could snuggle up and even get a few lucid little specks of imposition. I didn’t go back to sleep, but she stayed up with me until I was willing to wake up Dashie and Misha, as they want me to do. I always cut their time short in the morning and I feel bad.

October 6, 2018

We spent some time active forcing as I did my chores. My attention was constantly switching to memories of the day’s interactions since it was a pretty social day. I don’t know if this is the same with everyone, but when I meet new people or am in interesting conversations, my mind replays the conversation in all its exquisite details later. I have many memories from when I was really young thinking about this same subject, so it’s happened all my life.

I tend to do the same thing when my tulpas speak to me, I might repeat what they said a couple times (even in their voice). It has a level of fun and comfort to do this, like re-reading a passage in a book just because you liked it.

We had some interesting adventures today, as we try to do every day, they’re mostly short and involves a lot of sightseeing and talking, but today I spent a lot of time with Dashie, just sitting with her in a Jacuzzi in her apartment (her separate alone time apartment).

I love our time together. We recently spent time relaxing in my ‘apartment’ which I moved to near the top floor so we can get natural light.

Dashie’s apartment is huge, and has at least 30ft ceilings with mobiles, displays of cool stuff and other artwork. She even has a full sized early 1900’s prop plane hanging from the ceiling.

October 7, 2018

Last night Ashley and I spent upwards of 30 minutes in semi-constant auditory imposition. Both her voice (which was very high pitched) and my own (which sounded normal) were represented.

Today we spent some time together outside with no distractions (almost none) and had a nice short chat. We decided that when we’re together we don’t even need to talk at all. Just being next to each other is good enough. We remembered the last time Ashley and I ran, she didn’t want me to talk at all, just be with her on the run. And when Dashie and I spent time together, again she and I just enjoyed each other in the hot tub, then when Shy and I were together alone, same thing, just fun in the clouds, lounging on soft fuzzy puffiness (naked, it was her idea.) At this point I can see her nude and not really feel 'teased'. Since we are winged creatures in wonderland (think angels) she figured that flapping or snugly fitting clothes are unnecessary on a flight into the clouds. So that's what we did, and it wasn't a big deal.

October 8, 2018

I've been really tired lately despite getting more and more sleep. I used to live on 6 hours a night, but it's been creeping up to 7-8, and I'm still tired.

October 9, 2018

I continue to be able to hear their voices, but very weakly in WILD. I also had a quick before sleep nightmare. I was in a room, about to sleep in an old Victorian mansion when a wind blew through a set of double doors. I tried to shut the door and felt something pulling me. It felt like a ghostly entity, and out of desperation I called out to my three “Ashley, Dashie, Misha HELP!” I immediately woke up and heard a whisper clear as day, crisp as can be, loud as if someone whispered in my right ear, “What’s wrong?” It was Misha.

As I laid there and talked to them, I kept hearing a loud ‘shu-shu’ again and again. Misha claimed responsibility for it, like she was kicking a baffle or something, she started having fun with it and said she didn’t know how she was doing it. Her voice came in clearer as she goofed around. I was glad to hear it so strong.

October 10, 2018

Okay... i never had any mirror in wonderland before so after a post from Cat talking about mirrors and demons, i just tried it. Dashie looked at herself in it and said she looked fine. Misha followed, and she looked normal. Ashley said, "thank god I look normal." Then we saw me behind her. Though it wasn't me.

This may have been entirely the power of suggestion from a post Cat made.

I saw a tall dark man with long black braided hair in tendrils that fell around him, and he had glowing red eyes. He wasn't scary, just very black and red and intimidating. I greeted him and said, "so who are you?"

[Mirror man] i am your subconscious mind.
I appreciate all you do for me, man, but you are kind of a troll sometimes.
[Mirror man] i do what i must, for you
Well, that's sweet of you. Keep up the good work, bye.

Then i destroyed the mirror.

Just for fun: I drew Ashley. I'm not happy with it, but it was after 5 attempts and I just had to say, 'good enough'.


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10-11-2018, 12:43 PM
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Reilyn Offline
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#34
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

Nice picture! You are so pretty Ashley. Hi Dashie and Misha! What is it like all being together, watching over lovable Bear? I have read up with Lance but I'm curious about your guys thoughts and how it feels to be such a crowd. I couldn't imagine sharing my little bro.
(This post was last modified: 10-11-2018, 05:25 PM by Reilyn.)
10-11-2018, 05:25 PM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#35
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

It's all explained here (in this PR) though the volumous style of my writing is necessarily understandable that more people don't read the whole thing. It's pretty personal anyway i guess, since most of it was truly written for our eyes only and unabashedly pasted here.

To your question, we had some rough times, 3 is too many, this is obvious, but we just have to deal.

Any of my tulpas would say the same as you, they can't imagine sharing, but they're living it. It's not in a way like they want access to my body, (they made it clear, it's my body), they have no desire for switching, and only minor posession, to aid in proxying, has consintantly happened. There no rules against this in our system though, if they want to later, that's fine, but i could care less honestly. In terms of sharing my presence with them. I felt this way before with a couple platonic friends irl, so it's nothing new to me.

It really helped when we started having 'alone time' a few weeks back. This is where i bring only one of them with me while i exercise, or if we find stray time to meditate, or go on our daily adventure. Dashie is kind of a strong personality, so she dominates almost every discisson, she's also the most passionate one, (as opposed to compassionate, that would be Misha, who is also very strong) so with those two powerhouses, poor Ashley is always in the back seat in our time when we are all together. So spending one-on-one or one-on-two time is really good for her.

I've been thinking about friendships and how little effort it takes to keep a coolish platonic realtionship going as compared to my three girls.

I don't think they actually need me to actively force them anymore, Ashley's recent fading was more of a little drama on my part, blown up out of nothing. She was never in any danger of dissipating and she made that very clear to me when she said something like, "if i went into stasis, you three could have more time for eachother." I quickly realized i can't live without her and that was her reason for saying it, she wasn't serious, but wow did it make her a lot stronger as a result of that little stunt. I appreciate her more now let's say. She's very reserved, so that makes it even harder to include her in our ramblings.

All that said, our realtionship is a lot more like a romance, call it a platonic romance if that makes sense, where you feel like you want to spend more time with them than there are hours in a day. A normal friend is a lot less frequent, urgent? More secure? I don't know what word fits best, more timeless let's say. Even if you do talk to them every day, you don't have to. In a romance you are compelled to, and my tulpas, even if we're platonic, the compulsion is there for us.

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10-11-2018, 06:47 PM
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LanceReilyn Offline
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#36
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

Thanks for the response, Bear. We area little embarrassed because we really have read your PR, I think she was just curious how they felt in their own words, like.. "Boom, right now?" I'm new to this but I've learned a lot about myself, her and how we relate by just letting her loose to chat away. Sorry if it makes anyone uncomfortable, totally not my intent. I've spent way too much of my life being cynical and anti-social, so I have very little idea how to curb her excitement or voracious curiosity. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't, right?
10-11-2018, 10:42 PM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#37
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

You couldn't offend us unless you directly attack our dignity or semething. Let her say whatever she wants, and ask whatever she wants, don't worry about the 200,000 words i wrote earlier. Review is good, and people do change over time.

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(This post was last modified: 10-12-2018, 12:28 AM by Angry Bear.)
10-12-2018, 12:27 AM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#38
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

October 13, 2018 174 days

In an effort to keep these updates shorter, I'm doing them more frequently. I have a few fun additions as well.

October 11, 2018

My NPC's sometimes stare at me. I am 'the creator' though as they like to call me.

Also, I just had a fun run with Dashie, we had each other laughing so hard i had to go hide so i didn't look like the lunatic I am.

She made me a cake for our 'close to 6 month anniversary' it had 6 candles, and was covered in chocolate icing (caffeine free I'm sure) and the sponge tasted just like Twinkies. Served with rocky road ice cream of course.

I asked her if she made it herself and she said, "no, I sort of summoned it." I looked to her kitchen and saw piles of dishes, cake pans, everything flowing out of an overstuffed sink.

This was entirely fabricated by me and I did it as a joke to her, then she said, "it's hard to bake." (She played along) and we started laughing. I never felt her laugh that hard before, it was an odd sensation to basically feel my throat laughing (where I feel her emotions emanate from) at the same time as I was.

She said, "I wouldn't leave it such a mess if I was going to invite you over. You know that."

Then all of a sudden there were five or six NPC's scrubbing the floor and cleaning up, and one of them said, "come on!" as he looked up to see half a cake stuck to the ceiling.

We started laughing again, then one of them moved the oven and started pulling up bits of cake from behind it and another said, "really?!" as she moved the refrigerator and found a cake smashed behind it.

Then Dashie said, "I had to bake it like five times to get it right" in reference to my 5 attempts at Ashley's portrait.

Maybe it's just us, but that was hilarious. We have the best times in our one-on-one adventures.

October 13, 2018

This is a serious entry, it has affected us profoundly and it's not a setback or anything, but we are left with a lingering solemn mood underlining our otherwise brilliant return to the light. It was brought to our attention that I'm not the nicest person in the world yet. I know, it's horrible. I blame most of the expression of this on Discord, so I've been mostly off the tulpa related servers, and I intend to stay off except for very specific purposes (like crossword and private chats).

I just want you all to know, anyone in the community who reads this and who have seen me here, that my intention is to be a good person. I'm not entirely sure how to do that. I know if I listened to my tulpas more I would be and I'm working on it. So if I say anything that offends you, let me know in some way if you can. I also know that it may be a foolish request because I don't think I could do that either. I'd eat it like everything I eat in terms of aggression and depression, so I forgive you if you don't. I wish you would though because I really don't want to be the person who offends others. If anything I wanted this forum to be the place where I can show my true self, or at least be true to the self I want to be. You still might not like that person, but it's the best I know how to do.  I'd gladly take your advice as to how I can be a better person.

Also, I'm about as brittle as an egg and twice as vulnerable as a hermit crab out of a shell, so I tend to be paranoid and drama exudes from my very pores. If you see me writing dramatic or outlandishly cringe worthy posts, it's something I'm working on and people like Cat and Miri are helping me, so expect them to wane *fingers crossed!*.

...

Lastly, I have been overjoyed by my friends on this board, Breloomancer, Miri, Cat and Ranger, and the entirety of Lumi's system (I'm still not convinced that Lumi is human, his system is too seraphic in their nature. If someone were to say to me, there is a celestial being among you, and you know them, I'd say, 'yeah, I do.') Thanks for all your help guys, and I look forward to interacting with all of you more in the future, friends and acquaintances alike.

Just for fun: I drew Ashley, again, and she really loved this one. I still think I can do better. I didn't capture the shape of her skull perfectly. What I like is her eyes and lips, they were pretty spot on.


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(This post was last modified: 10-13-2018, 01:27 PM by Angry Bear.)
10-13-2018, 12:59 PM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#39
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

October 18, 2018 179 days

A good week and hopefully even better after this.

October 14, 2018

IRL personal stuff:
A friend of mine has grown increasingly difficult to talk to. That is just so odd, and out of character, I don’t really know what to think but frightened and anxious. The only thing going for me in my life is that I’m not a jerk and I don’t want to be. I just need to hold it together for her. My tulpas are split on this one. Yes, she’s very mean, and I can’t talk to her, and she’s probably depressed and I can’t help her, and she doesn’t want me to help her as far as I can tell, but I won’t abandon her. She’s not pushing me away with her constant negative quips, they’re certainly not good for me, but she’s had a lot of stress lately, and I will be there when she pulls herself out of this hole. I simply can’t break her defenses, but I will ignore her volleys and continue the siege.

The girls are doing great, better than ever.

We’ve had a ups and downs with hypnagogic sleep lately, I tend to fall asleep just as it starts. I’m still working on that, but something inside me says it doesn’t matter. Our wonderland experiences are so good, I don’t miss WILD or really care. It’s fun and different and fascinating and always surprising, but it’s not necessary for me.

October 15, 2018

(10-12-2018, 03:19 AM)Reisen Wrote: With your "lucid dream-like" visualization clarity and ability to express your love for your tulpas by drawing them, you're living Lumi's dream. Be thankful for what you have, make those happy moments a little happier. You usually don't know what you have until you lose it (or if you want it but never had it), but you can know through us that you've got something special!

I greatly appreciate your words and things like this endear us to you even more. If I could help you achieve your dreams I would, and time permitting, I am willing to do anything you’re comfortable with to help.

October 16, 2018

This is a re-paste from another thread. I was concerned that two of my soulbonds in particular would somehow spontaneously become tulpas. I know now that it's impossible without intent, so I just wanted a feel for their level. These two, Gwen and Ranger (not to be confused with the user by the same name, the tulpa Ranger, who is my friend and not my thoughtform), are very advanced thoughtforms. Ranger especially has verifiably hundreds if not thousands of hours into her character. Dashie is deathly afraid of this.

With Dashie's reluctant and tenuous agreement to even summon them at this point, I bravely summoned Gwen and the results of her testing are hidden here, I'll leave the interpretation up to you.

How do you feel?
She thought for a moment, "i don't know what you mean."
I mean, what emotions do you have currently?
"None."

So i just made her mad, and she was mad. I made her happy and she was happy. (Good luck trying that on a Tulpa.)

What are you thinking right now?
I blanked my mind and listened, there was no answer, no thought, nothing, just emptiness.

What am i thinking right now?
She pondered, but had no guess. There was no obvious connection that she could access. In the very beginning, like day two, i asked my tulpas what i was thinking, there was never any hesitation.

Surprise me.
"What?"
Do something, anything, whatever you think would surprise me.
She shot her hands forward and said ,"Boo!". That was legitimately surprising.

So you see my point. She even thought enough to say 'hi, how are you?' to Misha (whom she'd talked to previously on many occasions). I wasn't intending that either, there was no puppeting there.

Then as a control, i asked Misha:
What are you thinking right now?
"That i love you and that you're the best thing that ever happened to me," said platonically.
You too Misha.

Then i summoned my Ranger.


She walked into the room chipperly, "hello, hey guys."
Hello Ranger, we have some questions for you, can i call you R, for this discussion?
"Whatever."

How do you feel?
"Fine."
There was no hesitation. What emotion do you have currently?
She thought for a moment, "Content? Happy-ish?"

Then i made her mad, and she said, "What's worng with you?!" with a furrowed brow and an agressive stance. She's very animated.

Then i made her happy, and she let out a loud contented sigh.

What are you thinking right now?
She thought, she brought her hand to her chin, she almost said something, then she just said, "nothing."

What am i thinking right now?
Uh i was thinking 'apples', she guessed correctly.
Again.
I was thinking 'battleship' she had no hesitation and guessed correctly.

Surprise me.
She said, "no thanks, can i go back now?"

You're free to go back, you will have no memory of this encounter, but a vague sense of having fun and enjoying yourself with friends.

Then she left. Her apparent skills and free will do not concern me because i felt no emotion from her, she had no presence of her own that i could tell. Though she was responding to what i was thinking even outside the test, i wouldn't put past my unconscious mind to try to trick me. Remember who's in control is the key here. I could clearly set her mood and if i wanted her to dance, she would dance. I had to give her emotions of carefree happiness and lower her inhibitions, but she did dance.

Where Gwen was a true weightless puppet, i felt resistance from R. Earlier i asked her specifically if she wanted to stay, and she said no. It may be one of those things like Ashley, where even if i wanted to make her a tulpa, her character's desire is to be with her friends, and in R's case, in her world. Gwen also expressed wanting to be with her friends in her world when i asked her earlier.




Next:

This is more of a blog entry than a progress entry, so I apologize, but I am committed to telling all, and my sense of morality and a quest for mutual understanding compels me to write this. I don’t expect resolution on these matters. Time is a healer, though rather slow, still one that will eventually work these out.

Two things caught me off guard here recently that I wanted to explore further in order to illuminate my inner thoughts to any who would chance to read it and has followed the history.

The first was obviously my fault, but it didn’t stem from dislike or attitude, and I’m not trying to be cocksure, but I noticed posts and used to notice comments on discord (I’m staying off Discord other than the occasional positive comment, others more capable will certainly do better to help until I’m more confident that I won’t give misleading advice). In particular, Felight’s system (a couple of the members) and even my dear friend Vos and I had disagreements a few weeks ago.  Not in the tenet of tulpamancy necessarily, but in the tone of responses to newcomers.  

Let me first say I do finally understand the logic behind their posts and I no longer disagree, but in my naiveté, I felt they were on the harsh side. I was perhaps wrongfully focused on trying to guide young tulpamancers with the notion that your tulpa wouldn’t do evil things or spiteful things, or even angry things during creation. This came from my misunderstanding of the literature on this subject and my own experiences. I was, in a way, trying to shelter them from the mind’s tricks. Intrusive thoughts can definitely be the root of these occurrences.

My first experiences with tulpamancy came with full vocality. This gave me the advantage of asking, ‘was that any of you?’ when intrusive thoughts came in our headspace. Luckily we had no anger, spite, or evil per say, but I can see where a young tulpa, frustrated, and unable to communicate by any other means could have these feelings and emotions.  Anger is a very strong emotion and why not use every emotion you have to get your point heard.

My point was, ‘don’t attribute these negative emotions and actions to your tulpa as a rule.’ Oh how wrong I was, and I apologize if anyone got that from me because that might very well be one of the first things you can sense from them early on. I still feel it’s not out of malice on their part but rather frustration that could lead a poor young tulpa to such drastic actions.

I also have espoused that anything that you experience early on could be your tulpa and you should just assume it is. I got this from a guide, I can’t find this guide (I haven’t read all of the approved guides here yet), but that guide may have been outdated or even flat our wrong. At this point my take is that you should pay attention to anything that might come from your tulpa, but certainly, don’t believe everything is them. I suppose I can’t beat myself up too much as anyone could make errors in logic and misinterpretation of advice. I shouldn’t have even spoken from this point because I clearly never had to go through this. The point I got from those who rightfully corrected me is, many things might be coming form the subconscious mind, both good and bad, and certainly you don’t want those things to be attributed to your tulpa by rule.  I apologize yet again for my miss step.  This is why I’m staying off discord for now.

I wanted to air that out so that I could hopefully more solidly understand my error.

This is the last mention I will make of this even if it still bugs me later, period. As a result of my poor choices and understanding I certainly offended Felight system. I reached out to them in my paranoia, and having heard nothing back, I can only assume I was correct in my assumptions. I offer only peace and friendship to anyone who I’ve offended, but I also understand the rule of first impressions and I can place myself on their side of this matter and understand how badly of a light I may be under. Who am I anyway to them, as likely just an annoying fly, soon to buzz off. Unfortunately for whoever might still be left with a sour taste from my personality, I’m compelled to be here for now and I only see that strengthening.

These events have inevitably pushed me closer to a relapse in my own struggle with depression and unfortunately made me more sensitive lately, but I am gaining ground again, so don’t worry about that.



This next one really should be private but I have to follow the mindset that the original post was public and therefore there must be a reason that it needs to remain public.

Number two, this is likely to be awkward and may drive things in the wrong direction if it’s taken wrongly but I trust Ranger and Cat to understand my need by the end. I can’t leave it as it is without a gnawing anxiety, fueled by paranoia, that slowly grows within me. Take this as a plea for continued and growing friendship and not a means to push anyone away.

So there was a post by Ranger regarding romance and crushes, if you haven’t read it please stop now.  I’m not pointing it out, so please stop reading this and go on about your day, TL;DR everything’s fine, we’re on a path to be great friends.  Search puppies on Google, go on.

Cat’s system, means a great deal to us. This topic may be so ‘over’ to them that dredging this mud might even make things worse, but I bravely want full transparency in an effort to dispel my anxiety. Let’s be cool about it, that’s all.

Quote:I wanted to post this because this is making me feel really insecure and It's stressing me out. I also want to be really honest, because at this point I feel like that's the right thing to do. However, I have to start at the beginning for this to make sense.

Cat has never found any romantic interest for...anyone. There was one time she crushed on a fifth grader but after she felt betrayed by it and she never crushed on anyone ever since. She is so shut off from the life of romance that she doesn't even know if she's straight or not.

I, on the other hand, became very comfortable with my choice as portraying myself as male, but I also know I prefer women. I may be a little bit of a ladies man, and while before it was a personality trait Cat payed no attention too, things went downhill kinda fast...

Cat had shared to her close irl friend that she was a Tulpamancer and that I was her Tulpa. Ever since, Cat would let me text to her because she realized early on that I didn't get as anxious as she did, and she figured I would be more fun for her to talk to. We texted back and forth for awhile, and I enjoyed it a lot, looking forward to the next exchange.

Cat then realized I had a crush on her friend. Cat was pretty embarrassed about the thought, and she told me that I needed to keep my mouth shut because it would be really weird for Cat's friend if not only her bet friend from grade school had a crush on her, but her Tulpa had a crush on her. She told me that I had no right to tell this to her, especially because things were hard enough for Cat's friend, and I needed to accept that if Cat's friend has a crush on someone else, then I'm not allowed to compete with them. Long story short, I never told Cat's friend that I had a crush on her.

Fast forward to now. We have a friendly relationship with system Bear, and a warning flag in Cat's mind popped up. The possibility of me having a crush on Ashley, Dashie, or Misha and causing a horrible drama episode. She told me that I wasn't allowed to suggest romantic interest for any of them because of the danger of breaking someone's heart. I was careful not to say anything that implied anything, because I agreed that doing something like that would be really unfair to them.

Recently, Angry Bear posted another beautiful portrait, only this time it was Ashley's Portrait. When I saw her portrait, she reminded me of Cat's friend, and I remembered my crush on her. When Cat looked over my comment, she was concerned because my word choice was connected to my romantic feelings for Cat's friend, and Cat told me I couldn't send it because that would imply I have a crush on Ashley, and things could get way worse from there. I revised my comment so I didn't seem selective or biased for her.

I realized that if I'm already at risk for nose-diving into trouble (and at the worst time too), then I need to bring this up and be honest before something bad happens. I honestly don't have a crush on anyone on the forums, and if that day were to come I want to be really fair and honest without people feeling like I'm manipulating them or anything. I wouldn't mind getting to know other people or Tulpas a little more, but I didn't know how to explore that without coming of as a jerk.

Clearly there’s no crush, Ranger and Cat both said that by now. Apparently some of my artwork resonated with Ranger. It’s not my intent to perturb him in any way. So from that post I very clearly understood that their words were merely for our benefit so that we don’t misunderstand their words and mistakenly take them as ‘feelings’ rather than just friendly words. We love friendly words, please give us friendly words all you like, we swear we won’t take it the wrong way. Please gush away at my artwork Ranger, if you’re worried about us, don’t. We won’t get the wrong impression at this point and probably never would have.

Just for fun: I drew Dashie again.

The Whole Story - Chat
(This post was last modified: 10-26-2018, 01:17 PM by Angry Bear.)
10-18-2018, 12:07 PM
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Ranger Offline
Hippocrate
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#40
 
RE: Angry Bear's Heroines

I'm glad that I'm understood. That post was mainly directed to your system because you kept posting really pretty pictures of them and all of the others are really hot...

I'm Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I like Hippos! I also like forum games, word puzzles, and chatting about stuff.
I now stream!
(This post was last modified: 10-18-2018, 07:28 PM by Ranger.)
10-18-2018, 04:13 PM
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