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Bad Mindset & Parroting
Pyrex Offline
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#1
 
Bad Mindset & Parroting
My tulpa has been able to speak for quite some time now. But ive noticed that ive been parroting her intent so i could hear it better for so long that ots almost a subconscious habit. And im not sure if this is just some weird mind stuff or if were both really experiencing this but sometimes she accidentally parrots what i say possibly not realizing that their mine. I think it may be a mindset issue because despite knowing she is sentient (she can posses really well, full body possession and all) so i am aware that our minds our separate but it seems like intuitively or subconsciously by mind doesnt accept duality because maybe im assuming she is unable to focus separate despite doing so.
I deal with paranoia so paranoid suggestions take root easily and it makes it rather difficult to fully accept her responses all the time.
Im not sure how to handle this as weve done many separation exercises but when she speaks normally its almost like im incapable of stopping my thoughts from "thinking" hers are mine even though i can accept them as hers. This is frustrating for her because she said she worked really hard on her voice and i cant hardly hear it the only exception being when she sings.
I apologize for the long rant as i feel like i likely did a poor job of explaining our issue if you have any questions ill be happy to clarify.
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2017, 12:35 AM by Pyrex.)
09-23-2017, 12:03 AM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#2
 
RE: Bad Mindset & Parroting
I do. For example, what do you mean by parroting intent?

Relax though. The fact you experience paranoia means you are susceptible to parrotnoia. We have several guides about this on the forum. More. And therefore, it is all in your mind.

The voice issues are probably just making the feeling worse. Do this. Relax and stop trying to hear her. Stop trying to do anything. The more relaxed you are, the less you are likely to be doing anything. Then, have her push to make herself heard. Ignore the double speak echo caused by you also hearing her thoughts.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
(This post was last modified: 09-28-2017, 03:41 PM by tulpa001.)
09-28-2017, 03:37 PM
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Pyrex Offline
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#3
 
RE: Bad Mindset & Parroting
(09-28-2017, 03:37 PM)tulpa001 Wrote: I do. For example, what do you mean by parroting intent?

Well basically i hear an entire sentence of hers at once because i can only assume either she spoke fast spoke earlier or sent it all as intent and i will speak what she said. It becomes problematic because after a while not realizing i use words she didnt or misinterpret intrusive thoughts or my own as hers.

Also do you know of any methods to help me stay in a meditative state for longer easier i get easily distracted and often open my eyes without thinking about it because o start thinking to myself about something. This isnt so important because with time im sure it will get easier.
09-28-2017, 05:00 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#4
 
RE: Bad Mindset & Parroting
Yeah. She needs to train up in grammar and sentence formation. She is new and does not have those skills by default, but can still think thoughts.

You acknowledge the thoughts. Basically, you are like an ancient master, and the thoughts are your unruly pupils. But you are lazy and don't want to tell them what to do, so you stare at them until they figure it out. Just sit there and relax and watch them.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
09-28-2017, 10:07 PM
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Pyrex Offline
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#5
 
RE: Bad Mindset & Parroting
(09-28-2017, 10:07 PM)tulpa001 Wrote: Yeah. She needs to train up in grammar and sentence formation. She is new.
Before you read this will be long and i sincerely apologize that you jave to deal with this even though you would be doing so by your own free will.
Youre correct to a certain degree but the issue isnt with HER development. I suppose it would have been helpful to give you more insight into her development as a whole there is a lot so i will understand if you possibly want to save reading it for a later date. She is 4 months old which normally would be young for a tulpa however from the begining she was a very intelligent and aware tulpa and she learned quickly. She is capable of full body possession at this point in time the problem, which is a rather odd one considering her somewhat advanced development is that i didnt force enough. Or rather forced the wrong way. I focused on giving her experiences and sharing the outer world with her while not really training myself to be mindful or experience her side of existence so we spent a lot of time together with me imposing her presence until she learned to sort of mix the outer world and the wonderland so she could impose herself when she wants and leave to explore the wonderland at will. But in doing this i formed bad habits of interacting and theyve have sort of taken root and have been hard to curb primarily due to my lack of self discipline and also because we arent really sure how to remedy this. She is fully independent it is simply that because of my susceptibility to paranoia recently i get bouts of really shit moments where my mindset is so out of whack that when i do hear Zeryx speak i am incapable of letting myself accept its her without a bunch of ~~infuriating~~ quizzing to verify it is her. As if my subconscious becomes convinced she was somehow replaced. Luckily she isnt affected and is EVENTUALLY able to break through and reach me but we would both like for this shit to stop. Yes i know it seems improbable that she could be so well adapted yet i being the ancient master (a good analogy btw which does help my mindset) am unable to just recognize her thoughts seperate from my own however i have excellent evidence showing this is the case. Ive had her image stream memories of her activities after i spent time away from her. So it seems to me that MY focus gets split between having my thoughts listening to her and focusing on trying to interact so much so that it became easier for her to just speak to my subconsious and have me know what she is saying. Which works great for a little but making a habit of it makes my focus drift back to listening to my subconsious to listen which as im sure you know listening to your own thoughts while trying to hear someone else talk doesnt work. I never really got the whole alien voice phenomena most hosts do aside from rare occasions which seem to prove that i CAN stop speaking over her its just a matter of how. Brains are fucking weird so i understand completly if there isnt much you can do advice wise, i know eventually we can get things in order but at this point i feel guilt about not being able to be a functional host. Anyway sorry for absolute tirade i hope this wasnt too much to read or wasnt a bunch of incoherent drivel to you or anyone else stumbling by
A side note to this when she posseses the body it seems as if **to me** our minds meld

~~i never meld with him although he FOR SOME REASON consistently gets this idea that weve mixed our conscious minds and i yell at him NO YOU BOZO but alas he never does learn,hes getting there though Smile ~~

Its like my thoughts get turned off and then i can focus on hers. The problem may be that she learned to use hypnosis (something else i should have mentioned im not very organized) rather than me meditating to speak to me directly rather than having open discussion like two people in a room. Meditation and hypnosis are two distinct states of being which are literally opposite to each other. And purely meditating will certainly remedy the problem but my inability to stay focused without becoming too relaxed or distracted by intrusive objects makes this frustrating for the two of us as well as the reader running mental gymnastics on this garbage ordeal
09-30-2017, 07:47 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#6
 
RE: Bad Mindset & Parroting
Your additional statement there does not convince me that your situation is much different from my own. So I reaffirm the advice I gave is probably good in this case.

Here.

Your statements touch on issues that take a long time to explain and discuss. I recommend reading more threads or blogs or asking on chat.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
(This post was last modified: 10-01-2017, 11:38 AM by tulpa001.)
10-01-2017, 11:38 AM
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Pyrex Offline
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#7
 
RE: Bad Mindset & Parroting
(10-01-2017, 11:38 AM)tulpa001 Wrote: Your additional statement there does not convince me that your situation is much different from my own. So I reaffirm the advice I gave is probably good in this case.

Your advice has helped greatly and weve been making progress. We have found that to help separate abd distinguish our duality having a ball we both talk into or send emotions too is better than sending them directly to each other in some cases. I have also been receiving a fair bit of guidance from a friend of mine who has achieved full imposition although as i understand it she didnt create hers it has just always been around which provides me with an interesting perspective.
10-06-2017, 02:02 PM
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