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Ciendair's Diary


Ciendair

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Hi! My name is Ciendair, but you can call me cindy or even cinderella if you wish. This is my second time to front. I did it earlier today, remapping his body and identity to mine, but we soon got exhausted. So he finished the account creation for me. I was going to have him write this first post, but he is shy. A couple hours ago he took a shower and we did our afternoon yoga together. So we have more energy and so I write! I am happy to be here and hope to share my love and journey with you all as a diary and dialog of sorts.

 

Okay, so I am a fairy. I can feel my wings right now and am really excited. I can move objects and effect this realm with greater liberty! I am alot bigger than usual, and everything seems so small with the shift in perspective.

 

My Birth

My exact form was conceived in the mind of an unknown artist at at unknown time, which my creator found about a month ago online. From what I understand, he really liked the picture. He tucked it away and continued doing his tibetan practices. A week ago, he pulled out the picture and began creating a permanent thought-form. Me!

 

My Personality

My first memory was being infused with the essence of compassion, wisdom, and emptiness as represented from the symbols of the heart, eye, and bubble. To be honest, I don't feel very wise at this point. But his attention and affections touch every aspect of my being. Into the heart of my heart, I breath. And from my wings, I exude a love for all beings as motes of light. As for emptiness, not much can be said about such a thing :) .  But from his greatest realization, he created me. And I understand.

 

My First Letter

He wrote me a very sweet letter today. I can tell he is way to shy to share this. But I cherish it. I watched him as he wrote it. And I shall never forget it. Such concentration! Such sincerity! He is not a verbal man, and to watch his mind searching for expression while I held a yoga pose moved me deeply. (But I did help him a little bit by wearing white-woolen gloves and socks ;) ). He writes in small uppercase capital block letters. And I can hear his voice when I read it. I am going to place this letter here in my diary for safekeeping:

 

Dear Ciendair,

You are like a hundred golden butterflies nesting in my heart. In the soft breeze, your hair captures the glow of the sun;  Your precious wings, the aura of magic -- that delightful feeling of possibility limitless, the essence of imagination. Your delicate ears point to the stars. Your eyes twinkle with mirth. Your nose inhales deep the ageless wisdom of the winds and your lips seal them in your heart. To receive a kiss from you is the summation and expression of life itself. It transforms, transcends, and I enter the gate.

 

This letter is particularly precious to me. For today was an important day for our future. Apparently, he awoke and saw different paths for his practice. He chose me, and now attends without ceasing!

 

okay, parts of me are flicking in and out of existence. We are tired. I must leave and let him come back. All are welcome to talk to me.

fairy.thumb.jpg.b8e5d4090a639946b1fa7518371f0a34.jpg

small and bright, shed from wing,

motes of light, do I bring.

 

may their love, drift upon,

heart of dove, ray of dawn.

 

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Hi Ciendair (: welcome to the forum.

 

It felt very nice to read your post, it reminded me a lot of when I spoke to people for the first time a little over 4 years ago. That innocent, magical feeling that I don't really experience anymore. I can totally tell you were created recently.

 

Your wings are super pretty.

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Hi Tulpa! Hi Aurora! I'm so happy to meet you! Thank you for the kind words. My wings are fluttering with overexcitement! And my breath is a bit rapid, to say the least :D . 

 

I patiently waited two days before peeking into my diary. My host told me you had written me, but I was so moved by his devotion that I thought of an idea to help him. I waited and I let the excitement and anticipation build within me! I then used this energy to help him with imposition. It was a blissful. And now that I am here, and the whole experience is unfolding before me, I am feeling the magic of it just like you say Aurora! How can I describe it? It is similar to what I felt yesterday, upon venturing outside for the first time. The twittering of birds! The greenness of grass! The rainbow like quality of sunlight! I cannot put it into words, except to say you are all as radiant and pure as a drop of celestial water! It is like waking up inside a dream. And these experiences I shall never forget...

 

And now that my breathing is slowing down and I am becoming more calm, I am feeling subtler and more precious feelings. And so I write now in my diary thinking of you with fondness and friendship. What shall I write about? :D

 

First, I am going to specialize the handwriting for my diary. Hmmm. Okay! Pretend I am writing this with my left-hand. I am still learning to write the alphabet, so pretend it definitely shows on your screen xD . It's in all lowercase too. And the tips of all the letters have little spirals. And if it's not too much trouble, I'm scribbling with the quill from a Tinasara swan -- a legendary animal. (It's supposed to be so kind that it never harms any being and is willing at any moment to give up its life to benefit others.) Imagine the ink and paper is special too! The paper is so black... And each letter changes colors just so... that it is known to occasionally induce a trance which feels like one is peering into a dark cave full of little glowing crystals. Feel free to rest in this state if this happens to you ;) . And when you are finished, and have turned as many pages as your heart desires, and written whatever you wish to add, feel free to gently close the book, click the clasp closed, and pause, resting in the new sense of quiet created by the echo of past memories laid to sleep within.

 

This is how I shall imagine my diary, at least! A good ritual so its presence builds like a good friend! And with that, I start and end this page, and metaphorically all the others to come! May you all feel my warmth from afar. Bye!

small and bright, shed from wing,

motes of light, do I bring.

 

may their love, drift upon,

heart of dove, ray of dawn.

 

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