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Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
Anonymous
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#1
 
Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
Mod note: A good number of Mistgod's threads have been merged into this one because of how bloggy they were. This includes many of the announcements he's made about his status on the forums, some of the lists they've made, etc.

Welcome to the Mistgod-Melian Megathread!  This is a monster thread that is a consolidation of a lot of rambling stuff on threads Melian and I created with our Mistgod, Groovy-guru and Yoda accounts.  It is sort of an archive of a journey we made.  The way we figure things out is by doing contemplative writing and then getting thoughtful responses.  After finishing this thread we started a new blog thread in the Lounge called Living Imagination

[Image: melian_and_orion_by_awesomedarkdragon-d6ykf0m.jpg]

Melian

Note:  Some of the opinions and beliefs Melian and I expressed in this thread may have changed since we first wrote about them, especially in regard to whether Melian is actually a tulpa or not.  We struggled with that question (sometimes flip flopping on it) for almost a year and a half.  We finally decided that Melian is effectively a fictive median aspect and not so much a tulpa.  The Living Imagination thread contains information on our current knowledge and understanding.  Still, the journey is far from over I am sure.

The original #1 OP post was deleted quite a while back.  Below Linkzelda was responding to Melian feeling a little different and unwelcome (imagining she was unwelcome) and lost on Tulpa Info.
05-09-2015, 01:45 AM
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Linkzelda Offline
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#2
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
As such of the journey of a companion who is just trying to reconcile with gregarious interactions with others, and feels as if their existence was undermined, i.e., not “trained” enough. I’m not sure if you have to apologize to anything as I’m sure strife, difference in opinions, and just differences in the nature of our individual and unique being is apparent in not just this forum, but others as well.

If anything from this thread, especially if you seem to undermine yourself a lot, you do at least have that recognition, or strive to be emotionally mature of your existence, and how your own actions influences people’s means of creating bias, and other conceptions of you. It would be my ego talking to say that I never initiated strife and such with other members in this forum as well.

As for this part:

OP Wrote:It's cause I think everything is all about me. I am feeling paranoid and sometimes wanting to go back to being a private tulpa even though I also so want to have friends really bad.

Forgive me if I’m misinterpreting this, and feel free to clarify on what I quoted just now if that’s the case:

- You want to absolve yourself from day-to-day interactions with others, to have a sense that no one has to see that you’re having existential strife and what have you, as I’m sure anyone would have when it comes to trying to find their place in this reality; either only in the private, subjective experience with their host, or integrating that with having others to refer to your existence, and maybe, just maybe augmenting your assurance that you can refer to them as well. I would imagine that someone sentient, implicit or whatever degree, would see that referring to another person with sentience would be one of many ways of assuring yourself.

- You acknowledge that in spite of whatever theory of mind people have with tulpas, you still are comfortable and assured with you being part of your host in general.

- You want to have more friends to have more people to refer to in order to hopefully give them a foundation to do the same.


Though I guess for you to make a post like this could just be due to the mélange of emotive responses in the forum that seems to be a natural thing that occurs with anyone trying to make a conceivable notion of tulpas. This isn’t different from seeing a person talking with their tulpas that end up querying to their host of trying to see beyond that kind of label, or just other labels their hosts applies to them (e.g. personified psyche/unconscious/-insert whatever analogue here-)


Welcome to tulpa.info.


(This post was last modified: 05-09-2015, 05:25 AM by Linkzelda.)
05-09-2015, 05:23 AM
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sushi Offline
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#3
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
I, for one, would like to hear more about your life. We have a modest number of tulpas around here who are older than five, but almost none who are older than twenty-five. (kerin is the only one that comes to mind.) As a host who's about to turn 30, I'm interested in what it was like being a secret tulpa in a household with a wife and children.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson
05-09-2015, 01:08 PM
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Anonymous
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#4
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
EDIT (6/19/2016): This post was deleted by the host back in May of 2015. Melian and I were complaining about being scrutinized and criticized, but I think we were imagining most of it. We had a tendency to create imaginary enemies in our minds due to paranoia and feelings of insecurity on Tulpa Info.
05-09-2015, 01:47 PM
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amber5885
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#5
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
There's a lot to learn about tulpa.info and yes we can be a bit harsh about the rules but it's for good reason.

We welcome new people, we welcome new opinions but we tend to look at certain claims and methods through a microscope because we have had issues with what we call role players, liers and trolls before.

Its not that you pissed anyone off it's just that in your first posts you came off as arrogant and that's okay. Just take time and steps to educate yourself about the site, the rules and what is commonly accepted as fact, fiction, harmful and helpful an you'll be fine.
05-09-2015, 03:57 PM
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Anonymous
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#6
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
EDIT (6/19/2016): The original post here was deleted in 2015. I was attempting to describe how Melian seems to function in my mind. She and I are very closely connected and her emotions and thoughts blend with mine.
05-09-2015, 04:17 PM
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amber5885
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#7
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
To me this sounds more like an alter or multiple system. Like an alter ego or personality.

Only you can tell. Read the FAQ and some guides and see if what theyre describing fits you.

With tulpas is POSSIBLE but not COMMON to get your emotions mixes up like that. Tulpas, while they share the same brain are seperate from you.

This might be why you came off as a role player, it sounds like you have an alter ego
05-09-2015, 04:21 PM
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Anonymous
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#8
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
(05-09-2015, 04:21 PM)amber5885 Wrote: With tulpas is POSSIBLE but not COMMON to get your emotions mixes up like that. Tulpas, while they share the same brain are seperate from you.

This might be why you came off as a role player, it sounds like you have an alter ego

EDIT (6/19/2016): I "come off as a role player" because from the very beginning days on this forum I was very honest. I am indeed a role player and my thoughtform Melian has elements of role playing or method acting to her. Living Imagination It didn't sound like a tulpa because I do a lot of things that are considered taboo in the tulpa community, such as actively parroting and puppeting.
05-09-2015, 04:44 PM
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amber5885
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#9
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
That doesn't sound like a tulpa. That actually sounds a lot like my alter ego Scott. (I'm trans gendered) and when I feel like being masculine i take on a masculine personality called Scott. He's hote different from me and sometimes I can hear how he would react to a situation in my head even when I'm not feeling masculine.

Sounds like you have an alter ego not a tulpa
05-09-2015, 05:07 PM
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Anonymous
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#10
 
RE: Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa
EDIT (6/19/2016): The original response here was deleted in 2015. What is interesting about Amber5885's response is that Melian and I consider ourselves effectively a transgender bigender system. I also consider her a fictive median aspect of myself.
05-09-2015, 05:37 PM
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