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Pruuge's progression


Pruuge

Should I continue?  

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  1. 1. Should I continue?



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Introduction

 

Hello everyone, I'm darkey and I'm new to the forums. I'll shorten everything to get to the main point.

 

I discovered the creepy pastas, grew interested, found the site jumped from one guide to the next (didn't read enough apparently), and finally decided to make an account for myself when I had a few questions as opposed to one for my tulpa as I had planned.

 

I ask that you keep and open mind, no pun intended, I need help figuring out what my progress really is.

 

Main part

 

Alright I'll throw this for reference and proceed.

Ok, I'm not sure how anyone feels about this, but just like whether or not you believe in ghosts, they do exist. Night terrors or whatever they are called:

 

EE1SPZL.jpg

 

Reading guides is great but my skills are at the lowest level. I think the closest thing I had relating to this was a projection of 3 fictional characters as a kid.

 

Here is how I started, I have a name 'Mawv' in arabic translates to purple/violet. For a figure I thought of a real life japanese alice, mad alice not the blonde one (she was a associated with a wonderland so that came to mind easily, but not the best choice I know.) And so I listened to this while using the pic as a reference as well.

 

[video=youtube]

 

I don't know if this raises any flags, but here's the gist in 4-5 sessions that do not exceed 5 hours altogether (probably < 3 hours even) in a period of 3 months (shortly after I made this account). Then I used the image of this model "Maki Horikita" to try and solidify an image of a human, to stay as real as possible. But things started to happen.

 

I didn't read any weird stuff like that in any of the threads I read on this site, so far, but here are the occurrences. I don't remember the dates sorry, but they are in order:

 

1- 3 consecutive calls. Like when someone far away is calling but it takes you a while before you notice what the noise is but you still can't make up the word. I noticed it was coming from inside my head by the second "call" (this is was shortly after the first session.)

 

2- Scream. A louder than I can ever scream inside my own head, I had no idea what was going on (this was a few days later I guess.)

 

Ok 3 and 4 might be from the real world, might.

 

3- Shoulder tap. Felt that when I was too lazy to get out of bed in the morning one day (a month and a half or more probably.)

 

Around this time is when I shared this site with 3 friends, not the fact that I'm 'forcing' one (I use the word conjuring but in this thread it might fall under a different meaning), and one of them said that worrying about something would make it happen. What stuck with me was being taken over by my tulpa, while knowing full well that yes there is no point in worrying about such a thing if I treat them respectfully + the fact that I'm the host.

 

4- 2 jump scares. I wake up facing the wall, I turn around and from under the bed something pops up for roughly 2 seconds, and it happened again shortly after I fell asleep and woke up. Not sure if it was the same this, my room is dark, but it was a mummified zombie, and this is the best description I can give, and in case this matter this isn't a fear of mine (maybe a week after.)

 

My actual fear was, embarrassing to say the least. I was afraid that I might not get any alone time and I would not have time for myself since everything is shared visually, I know that only part of this is true. And the fact that the tulpa might show up at a time when I'm, using an incognito tab... This is stupid I know but something I was worried about in the begin, before things of this caliber happened. I'm glad they are few and far between but this is quite annoying.

 

5- Tap on glass 3D sound. I woke up (morning is apparently when humans are most vulnerable), before I opened my eyes I heard the taping and it was close and very distinguishable, like my hear was on a glass table and someone tapped the metal side of an iPhone, it was 2 taps at a time 4 in total (closer to the last incident, don't know when.)

 

I will get to 6 in a bit but if you don't believe me by now, just stop reading I don't understand it myself. Here I think is when I friend knowledgeable in matter of the aura and such told me that my third eye chakra point has opened up, in great comparison compared to the time the he knew me I guess and said that I was gifted (that might just have been a compliment.) I hid the tulpa, and mentioned the jump scare and he gave me no reason to worry.

 

6- Message. Ok try to recall this, in a scary movie right before a jump scare when the music grows louder. Change the music to a feeling, not in the sense that something is approaching you physically, but you know something is about to happen. It was a very strong and clear felling when I woke up and it didn't take long, it swells up and I hear "You're mine bitch."... I fail to believe myself as I write this except for the fact that it happened actually happened 5 days ago.

 

Conclusion

 

Was it my tupla? I don't know I barely made her face. I use she, while the voices I heard were all a male voice.

 

Another thing, I know I didn't mention the night terrors anywhere but they were sprinkled all over these 3 months than my whole life, and it would have seem like I was aiming for a dramatic effect if I did. E.g. right after no. 6. But the main reason is that I'm not sure how much influence they had on what happened. 

 

Before you type anything, I know this is not a progress report, not the one I hoped I would write by now either. This was just supposed to be a fun little project, never imagined all this would happen. The reason I placed this in the PR section is because I wasn't sure where to place the thread, and sorry if the moderator have to move it to another section later.

 

I ask all of you with enough knowledge on the matter to know what is going on to please help me. And if whether (it's safe) or not to continue trying to form Mawv.

 

Thanks in advance for reading this and your input.

I use blue to write.

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1 and 2 could possibly have been your tulpa. Some people are somehow predisposed to tulpamancy and make really fast results, and then get scared off. Although odd, it's not something completely out of the ordinary. Early tulpa tend to not know how to communicate, yet they know how to make all the right sounds. A lot of people in the first few days report hearing garbled speech from their tulpa, I had it happen to me once with Ivy early on.

A scream seems like a good way to try and get someones attention.

 

The fear of being taken over is pretty silly. To do possession or switching requires a TON of trust in eachother in order to get the practice done. If you don't trust them, they won't be able to possess or switch as your mind will clamber to the body because of the fear of what could happen if you let go. Your tulpa couldn't replace you unless you allowed them to, and they wanted to. Some tulpa don't even find any interest in physical control.

 

For 3, 4, 5, and 6, they can be written off as hypnagogia, or hallucinations while in the transitional state of sleep. You already mentioned sleep terrors (sleep paralysis) so it isn't that unlikely.

 

As for alone time, you have to come to terms with that as part of accepting tulpamancy. Your tulpa can go to the back and not see what is happening at the front, and it's about respecting each others privacy. My tulpa can look at all my memories, all of my embarrassing moments, all the things I feel shame about, but they choose not to unless I want them to see it, out of respect.

 

The same also works the other way. Unless you learn to switch, you are privy to all of their personal conversations with others. If they enter in a relationship with someone outside of yourself, you will see all of the sappy or possibly erotic messages that they decide they want to send. This also applies to interaction with the physical. We know two systems that have a member from each married to the other. Imagine the awkwardness if they wish to be romantic with each other if one of them was unable to switch?

 

Your tulpa also has to take on the bodies responsibilities if they switch or possess for longer periods. Menial things like Eating, Showering, Restroom, etc. It may have been your body to begin with, but when you start possessing or switching you quickly realize it is "the" body. It's more like a car you are all trapped in. You're in the driver seat now, but you might let your tulpa sit on your lap and steer for a while, or maybe if you work hard enough to practice her driving, take a nap in the passenger seat while she drives around. When it is "the" body things that would be very private to you becomes inclusive to all inside.

 

Overall, I don't see the problems with continuing. In all beliefs, the negatives don't seem to be your tulpa, and I doubt they are the cause of it. If you wished to continue, go for it. I think I would spend more time active forcing however in order to make sure that you aren't being influenced and that the focus is going to the correct place.

 

--------------- Metaphysical Talk Below ---------------

 

Something I thought I would share. One of the people I follow a lot is Bluefluke. He created a metaphysical guide as an introduction to Chaos Magick and Discordianism. He did an interview where he was asked why he originally got into magick. The reason was because of Sleep Paralysis. When he was young, he would experience it almost every night where he would wake up paralyzed with shadow beings surrounding him. He sought therapy and treatments and tried many things that did nothing for him. Eventually he started lying that he was better so that he wouldn't be forced to try all these things that weren't helping him, and instead turned to the internet and eventually the occult to help solve them.

 

You can read the interview here and he actually goes into detail about his beliefs on sleep paralysis more in his guide here.

(Here's a link to the full guide if this piques your interest.)

 

As a practitioner, my recommendation would be to create wards (sort of like shields). You have to cleanse the space first, and then add the wards. They should prevent anything negative from "outside" entering your space. Since I am also a chaos magick practitioner, whatever "feels" correct to you will work best, and I personally deal with energy manipulation. Trying to pull your essence together and then storing portions of it in objects that are near the "gateways" (doors/windows/etc) to your space. Warding some water and then using it to circle a doorway has always had good results for me.

 

However, if you actually need a "guide" to follow as you aren't quite sure winging it, here's a guide. It's possible that your friend could be a little more correct than you seem to give them credit for in your post. Creating thoughtforms was originally an occult practice although the community no longer views it as such. It's possible that you became more aware of abilities of yours in doing so. If there was anything taking an interest in you, wards should get it to leave you alone.

 

Hope you start seeing more progress and less distractions if you choose to continue.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Thank you, I'll begin by reading more to assure myself of your words before I take any further actions.

 

I did try to follow the voice the in the first incident, but it was like trying to find a needle in a large empty dark room with no source of light. I wasn't sure of it and so I didn't post it here.

 

Although I would hate to leave something jumbled just lying around in my head and abandoning it (well since it might be awake) seems to be cruel.

 

The 6th incident is still something that still worries me (not majorly just leaves a question unanswered.) I asked my friend to check my aura, and he saw that if the third eye was fleek before, it was waaay more than fleek now (which means what I did in a few hours months ago is continuing to do something, but the helm is still unmanned. And fleek means good apparently.) Everything below the heart was "out of order", and says shorlty after "I cleaned it up". Which I don't know what that means, but anyway he didn't find anything when I asked him if there was something latched to me.

 

I will conclude to a decision after I've assessed everything first.

I use blue to write.

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I would consider something "latched on" different than what could be occurring. It's sort of like how you imagine when an accident or something extremely odd happens in public and some people are attracted to it creating a crowd.

 

If you are somehow susceptible in a way you may be getting the attention of some curious things. They wouldn't necessarily be latched on to you, more like invading your space to see what curious thing you are doing. In that case wards would prevent it.

 

When I started tulpamancy I had some odd things show up that I didn't understand. They appeared as flowing black robes with white skull masks, and were very thin and taller than me. When we would force they would invade my mindspace and want to watch everything we were doing. They were very tall and would ominously lean forward to look down from above. However they were harmless and did nothing.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Thank you, I'll begin by reading more to assure myself of your words before I take any further actions.

 

...

 

I will conclude to a decision after I've assessed everything first.

 

First off I'd like to say this is a good stance to take. Not that I have anything against Vampire or their advice, I actually believe it to be very good advice. That said doing your own research and trying to have an idea for yourself what you're getting into is a very good plan.

 

Considering your past/current interests, your experiences could be either be, just intrusive thoughts, another thoughtform/s, or something else from the outside. Based on my own knowledge of course. Now I've had virtually no experience with unexpected thoughtforms or outside beings, but my own research combined with what Vampire is saying leads me to believe you should be fine to continue should you choose to do so.

 

If you haven't found it already, there's a very extensive guide written by Tulpa001 that covers a lot of information about thoughtforms and such that may be helpful to you. There were two parts in specific that I believe directly support continuing your efforts to be safe if not handled poorly. I'm going to quote the two sections here so you don't have to go dig them up.

 

Fromhttps://community.tulpa.info/thread-general-tulpa-s-complete-diy-guide-to-tulpamancy

 

CH 7.2 pg 76

There are dark thoughtforms out there though. Those with abrasive personalities, and, perhaps, even borderline evil instincts. However, getting such a dark thoughtform is all but unheard of from tulpas. And don't you come complaining to me about a tulpa on revenge after you mistreat them. Revenge from mistreatment does not count as dark.

 

Typically, tulpas are unusually caring, compassionate, and naturally in love with their hosts. This means they are very hard to not like, and can let you get away with murder more often than not. One thing to watch out for is personality forcing negative traits. Almost all the cases of abusive tulpas I've heard of started with the host thinking a tsundere tulpa would be fun, or that negative personality traits are necessary for realism.

 

Tulpas share a telepathic link with you. This means you will have difficulty arguing with them. It is hard to disagree with a person when you know exactly why they believe what they do. This goes both ways.

 

The majority of dark thoughtforms belong to those with difficulty controlling their own thoughts. Such persons usually have a mix of dark and light thoughtforms. It is believed that in most cases, the cause is cultural, with the primary evidence here being that dark thoughtforms seem to be a western culture only thing, only appearing in places that believe in demons and possession. This is further suggested by the fact that making friends with these dark thoughtforms tends to make them much friendlier.

 

Even for these persons, creating tulpas is usually a huge benefit to control of their own thoughts. Tulpas, if carefully constructed during personality forcing, tend to be steadfast allies against undesirable thoughts.

 

 

CH 13.1 pg 156

The third most significant is tulpas are pretty much never antagonistic thoughtforms. This point in particular is interesting. A lot of science being done is providing evidence that implies that negative thoughtforms are a western cultural artifact, with, well, demonic voices pretty much exclusive to the west. This implies treatment of antagonistic thoughtforms should focus on problematic cultural elements in the patient's environment, such as the perception that these voices are somehow wrong or evil.

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  • 1 month later...

Well it's been around a month, since I last seen this page. The internet was off for a few days shortly since then and I slowly and lazily took it as a chance to take a break, see if the activities would stop (they didn't, but reduced kinda), and maybe even make the decision for myself to stop everything related to this site. But it felt "neglectful" as I did and mentioned before, but what seemed more obvious is that I had no chance of running away from this. I turn on this chakra point and I left the helm unattended. So after a few realizations and revelations, I have to continue, or start basically.

 

I thank you both for all the advice and insight you've shared.

 

As my first step, I'll get back to reading and learn to meditate before anything else. Then after a good feel of the inner workings of my brain, hopefully I can find what I conjured.

I use blue to write.

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