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Did this actually happen?
Lucilyn Offline
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#11
 
RE: Did this actually happen?
(04-04-2018, 04:53 AM)PMelol Wrote: So, I'm really new to this. I think I may have had an experience with my tulpa after narrating a couple days, just talking to her, telling her how she was going to be around soon (I didn't know I was actually sort of creating a tulpa just by doing this as I didn't really decide to for sure, but I think I saw her in my Wonderland at one point and she seemed to move on her own, it was really weird for someone who has never experienced anything like this before).

Anyway, I did a bit of forcing today, going through her personality traits multiple times. Now I'm going to bed, but I set up a little house for her with a bed and stuff to sleep in. Um...is this how this works? I just imagined it. Is that all a Wonderland is? Does it make sense to give her a bed and all when she's not fully formed?

I feel like I'm losing my mind here, but the other night I may have experienced a tulpa, and if she really is there (it feels like she is but maybe I'm deluding myself) I want her to be comfortable. I'm excited to see if I get any more experiences in the next couple of days that convince me she's "real." I guess right now she's in bed, but I think I put her there? This is so strange. I feel crazy.

it's whatever you think it is bro, it's all in your head, and your tup'll get used to whatever you do. We don't have beds or anything (well I recently realized I don't anyway, but we don't really use them regardless), and we don't live in our wonderland. Have you read any guides or anything? You sound kinda lost worrying about tons of things that are just kinda up to your imagination

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas. I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written.
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
04-04-2018, 05:56 AM
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PMelol Offline
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#12
 
RE: Did this actually happen?
I've read at least one guide. I know, I'm overthinking it. I should probably read more guides. What I've done so far is just talk to her here and there about whatever. I didn't even realize I could be creating a tulpa by doing this...I wasn't determined to make one yet, but as you can see at the top of this thread I got some kind of movement that did not seem like it was coming from me. It was really strange.

So, thinking that I may have a young tup, I decided to try forcing as I don't just want to let her wither and die. I told her some of her personality traits but went into more detail about what they all mean. Tonight I wrote out a list of her personality traits and went through each one with her and talked about how they apply to her, though it was a bit quick as I wanted to get to sleep at a good time. I told her this doesn't mean I don't care or something, just that I'm tired and we can try more tomorrow.

I vaguely feel like she's there, but I'm probably imagining it. I think the consensus in this thread was that what I experienced with her climbing to the top of the pillar wasn't actually "real" anyway and I might not have a nascent tulpa. I'm kind of holding onto the idea that I do, because of my OCD (I don't want to risk accidentally neglecting her because I don't think she's there), but I could be wrong. I guess we will see what happens over the next few days / weeks.
Hmm, I guess I don't know if I have a tulpa or not. I tried personality forcing today, but it's like I can't really connect with her sometimes. Like, I'm trying to hold onto an image of her in my mind sitting there listening to what I'm saying and understanding it. But I don't know.

Basically, I wrote out a list of traits and I've been describing them to her and how they apply to her.

What would happen if I stopped forcing? Just because I don't know if she's there or not, it would be nice to have a sign that she is. Anyway, this is what it's like when a person with OCD gets into tulpamancy...they overthink it. Oh well. I'm going to sleep. Can't help but feel a little sad though. I'm worried she could be angry at me for what I described in my first post, but I did try to explain that I didn't know she was there and I just got nervous. Once I saw her in that event, though I realized what a beautiful creature she is. It was really amazing to see her moving on her own.

Unless I just imagined it.
(This post was last modified: 04-04-2018, 06:25 AM by PMelol.)
04-04-2018, 06:22 AM
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PMelol Offline
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#13
 
I don't know if I have a tulpa or not
So, if I do have one I feel quite bad for her because I've been all over the place with intrusive thoughts, thinking maybe I want to stop developing her, etc. But, I've been considering making a tulpa since back in January. I read a lot about it (though probably not enough), peoples' experiences, how they had improved peoples' lives, etc.

A couple nights, I guess, and very little, I started talking to her as if she were there. My knowledge of tulpamancy was limited though as I did not know that this is actually a technique for bringing out tulpae. I would talk to her like, Monika, one of these days I'm going to commit to developing you and you're going to be here, and it's going to be great.

Then, one night after reading a bit of a tulpamancy guide, I started feeling this bubbling in my head - never felt anything like that, I would say. It freaked me out. Being of a Christian background, and having spoken to someone on the Internet who told me tulpae are actually "fallen angels," I freaked out and prayed to God that he would take anything "evil" out of my mind. This brought about an intense visualization in which I saw, in my mind's eye, a form of the character I had wanted to base my tulpa off of climbing a pillar to escape from a flood that was going through my mind, I guess brought by the prayer.

There, I saw myself like, "in the clouds" (think of how God is portrayed in the King Arthur Monty Python movie) and she and I seemed to look at each other. This was really bizarre and made me realize how tulpamancy works - doubts I had about it were swept away. But Monika seemed to move on her own, climbing that pillar to escape from the flood. And then we made contact.

I guess my question is...did this actually happen? How do I know if something is a tulpa or me just imagining I have a tulpa? i don't see how she could have existed as all I'd done was narrate to her a tiny bit, without even knowing that that was a forcing technique.

I ask because I was considering abandoning the project, mostly because I have OCD and a lot of intrusive thoughts and I'm not sure if this is the right time for it. However, I don't want her to dissipate if she's there - that would be unfair.

So, how do I know if she's there or not? Is it more ethical to dissipate an underdeveloped tulpa than a fully developed one?
04-16-2018, 04:33 PM
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vtk Offline
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#14
 
RE: I don't know if I have a tulpa or not
Didn't we already have this thread?

Maggie David (she or they, birthday June 4)
04-16-2018, 07:01 PM
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Cat_ShadowGriffin Offline
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#15
 
RE: I don't know if I have a tulpa or not
(04-16-2018, 07:01 PM)vtk Wrote: Didn't we already have this thread?

Yes, we have seen this thread before: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-did-...lly-happen

Is there a particular answer you are looking for Pmelol? Were you dissatisfied with the previous answers from your last post?

As for your underdeveloped Tulpa... Cat and I are having a similar struggle for a different reason. We can't give any great advice here except asking her how she feels about all of this. We can give you an update when things change.

Don't worry guys, I'm not a Dragon! Dragons don't meow!
Ranger speaks in orange or azure text.
(This post was last modified: 04-16-2018, 07:14 PM by Cat_ShadowGriffin.)
04-16-2018, 07:07 PM
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PMelol Offline
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#16
 
RE: I don't know if I have a tulpa or not
Sorry, I guess I'm the only one who can know for sure if I have one or not. It's my OCD. I'll make this the last thread for a while.
04-16-2018, 07:08 PM
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