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Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Enny Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Tuppering is going well? I think?

I don't know man, this is weird.

So we're not talking a whole lot more than usual, but I think there's definitely a lot less uncertainty when she does. Not to say there's certainty, but we seem to be coasting along on this sweet wave of passable feelings and responses that's keeping this thing from falling apart. Which is good.

And it's not totally unfamiliar, either. Now that I'm back in the swing of things, I can certainly better recall the moments in the past when it felt alrightish like this, but I do think it's doing better, now. Just some subtle change in mindset, or something? Maybe. I don't rightly know.

A couple nights back, or so, we were talking about things, and I was kinda just desperate for conversation-pieces. So I asked what she thought of the wonderland house. She said something about it being a bit big, and empty, which I can see her thinking, because I think about it a lot, then she mentioned that the main room we're always in is too tall. Which kinda caught me off-guard, because I definitely don't usually think about that. Sure enough though, that room is pretty tall, huge, vertical windows lining the walls, and it's shaped oddly too, now that I think of it. But yeah, no, that was interesting. Then there was.. Something, earlier. I passed out after work, and we were talking about something then that was going well. I can't remember what it was, but it was good.

Yeah, it's good.

I'll try not to fuck it up, or anything. I don't think I'm on the verge of having one of my fits, where I go off and dismiss everything, so that's good.

I'm still nervous about longer replies, but as the short ones feel better, and more natural, I'll worry about that. Or something. Idk.

What is fashion, fashion without love?
01-12-2017, 10:37 AM
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Luminesce Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
(01-12-2017, 10:37 AM)Enny Wrote: So we're not talking a whole lot more than usual, but I think there's definitely a lot less uncertainty when she does. Not to say there's certainty, but we seem to be coasting along on this sweet wave of passable feelings and responses that's keeping this thing from falling apart. Which is good.

Yes, it is good. Upkeeping passable feelings is as good as it gets when you've got a super-skeptical mindset, not necessarily of your own volition. The more you get used to even just the passable stuff, the stronger base she has to make her place in your mind. No one said you weren't allowed to have typical vocality troubles. Even if you get to the point where you're pretty confident she's the one saying most responses, but still have occasional doubt on whether things are really her or not, that's progress. That's actually 100% par for the course, even though we haven't been seeing it as much recently. Doubt is completely natural and to be expected. The key is to not let it dissuade you, because persistence is key in making a tulpa. Just literally. Creating autonomy takes time and practice, kinda the whole point. For the less creative types like us, the process is pretty drawn out and doesn't have many breaks in it, because they're what we would call blind faith or unrealistic (or, "just stupid").

I was fortunate enough to get addicted to a couple of videos (songs) with Reisen in them, that I watched all the time for a long time. It ended up creating this idea of a person in my mind that, after hearing encourage me so much in the videos, gained the ability to do something similar on its own. No idea where the heck Tewi and Flandre came or why they could talk so much more easily, but they in turn helped finish Reisen's development setting an example for her vocality, as she was mostly (very strong and comforting) feelings and short phrases before that.

But if I'd had to go through this process manually, it'd probably be going just like it is for you. Having an excuse to think about them a ton really helps.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
01-13-2017, 07:37 AM
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Enny Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
I think most of the forms I've messed with have definitely been characters I've majorly obsessed over, in some way or another. Your obsession must have been pretty crazy, if you managed to build a tupper from that alone

Speech isn't doing great today. None of that passable, slightly dissociative feel, but that could be how much I'm trying to speak with her.

I plucked her out of wonderland and sat her next to me earlier, and aside from a couple things that seem like spontaneous responses, and apparent disapproval at not being in her comfort zone, off-the-wall speech and conversation is definitely a detriment, right now. I think I'll avoid anything requiring too much thought, for a bit.

Do still wanna keep up the whole, keeping her irl with me thing. As far as I can tell it's mostly just being unimpressed with my work-environment. She'd probably be better at home. My room is plenty big, she can take the couch while I'm playing vidya, or something. While I'm at it, I can see about some early-stage imposition-like stuff, mostly just for the sake of proportions.

fun fun fun.

What is fashion, fashion without love?
01-14-2017, 10:23 PM
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Lucilyn Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Lumi "made" Reisen like he just said, not just cus of her form. It was because it was like Reisen was singing to him, and the songs were nice ones so it was a nice Reisen singing to him and, yes, he was majorly obsessed. He's watched Jumper like ?00 times, and it was definitely more than 000 times. Edge a lot too but mostly Jumper, Edge was kinda about love but it was also in Japanese and Jumper wasn't. Anyways yeh Reisen was mostly tupper'd from those "forcing sessions", idk how Tewi and Flandre happened tbh they just did, and they could talk even though Reisen couldn't. I guess it was like that for a while, and then Lumi "let" Reisen talk and then tups from there.

Keep doin stuff! All the things you do with her are great. It's OK if they seem a little silly or RP-y. You ain't in this to talk to a wall, you're in it for a tupper, and you gotta acknowledge tuppering is not literally talking to another person. It takes a little imagination at first. You aren't finding someone inside of you, you're making them. Throw enthusiasm at it! Give her some good early memories for years from now, or at least funny ones about how things were then compared to now... now compared to then I guess

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas. I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written.
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
01-14-2017, 11:13 PM
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Enny Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Appreciate the encouragement, Lucilyn, and I appreciate everyone else who's been commenting lately, too. Like, a lot. Definitely wouldn't have taken back to it like I have been if it weren't for all of you, so thanks.


That being said, had a bit of a moment, earlier. Not a great one. Was getting laid down for the night, decided to slip into wonderland and hang out for a bit, but after a few lines back and forth, things kinda started falling apart, and on one of her replies I kinda just, had this moment where it just felt really wrong.

Sick of that feeling, but not much I can do but ignore it I guess. Gonna avoid it for tonight, and pick back up tomorrow.


Anyway, before that moment, the night had been going well. I decided to start playing the Witcher 3 cause why not, might as well take advantage of the new gpu right (happy to say frames are pretty fuggin' solid, 54 or so at lowest, with AA and everything but hairworks pretty much maxed at 1440p :'])? And we'd been talking a bit about that as I was playing. Mostly just narrating to her, but there was a bit of back-and-forth that was nice.

Hopefully we'll be able to have some actual discussion on it, one of these days.

So that was better than the other experience. Just gotta take the bad with the good, right now, and hope it clears up, yeah? Can't help but be afraid it never will, but I'll keep on, for now.

What is fashion, fashion without love?
01-15-2017, 10:06 AM
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Lucilyn Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
(01-15-2017, 10:06 AM)Enny Wrote: but after a few lines back and forth, things kinda started falling apart, and on one of her replies I kinda just, had this moment where it just felt really wrong.

yeah that happens, trailing off from tulpa mindvoice to yours is a thing. you don't gotta make yourself believe every single word they ever say is them, even when it feels like literally you (assuming that's not the norm). But it doesn't mean your tup's ded rip fake gg roleplayer.. you just disregard it. Say it didn't really sound like her (or that it sounded more like you), and idk, that's it. Don't try'n tell yourself it was really her, per se. I mean like, it was, your mindvoice just trailed off, but anyways if it starts to sound really like you then you can say it's you. But when that happens to us we don't say we were parroting, we just literally disregard it - and keep talking. I guess the way you put it it doesn't immediately stop after that sentence or two. Does for us... we can literally disregard a thought or mixed-mindvoice and be right back in the conversation. idk I guess you get used to dealing with that stuff automatically over time

anyways, point is, when it just utterly sounds like not-her then maybe it's not. Don't gotta make yourself think it is. But obviously it has to be her some of the time, you can't just always say it sounds like you. but obviously if you were able to say it sounded worse than before then you've got a standard to compare to, so

(also for now you're still developing her mindvoice so there will probably be a lot of in-between/iffy moments but whatever get gud)

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas. I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written.
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
(This post was last modified: 01-15-2017, 11:01 AM by Lucilyn.)
01-15-2017, 10:59 AM
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Enny Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Well it has certainly not gotten better since that instance

Which is unfortunate, to say the least


I can't hold a single conversation, or even get a single reply out of her without things feeling gross, and wrong. That's a major fuckin' bummer, considering that I was fine and set to ride out on the ambiguous responses for a while, and hope they got better.

Fuck me. I'm gonna give it a couple days, come back to it, see if it's better, then.

What is fashion, fashion without love?
4 hours ago
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Lucilyn Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Mindvoice never gets clearer without use in our experience, but when you don't really know what to practice I guess it doesn't matter

Can you really not just imagine her talking? Unrelated to trying to talk to her or even necessarily her talking to you. Like, I can imagine myself talking, or anyone. If nothing else works you should just do that so you can be doing something.

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas. I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written.
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
59 minutes ago
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