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Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
tulpa001 Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
(04-28-2017, 08:39 PM)Enny Wrote: ...At that though, and I've talked about this before, the thing keeping me or anyone from achieving this is just like, a mental thing, right? That immediately makes it a no-fail situation in a lot of peoples' eyes, because, oh, all you have to do is radically adjust the way you think. I think it would be easier on people in the future who may be like me, to tell them it's possible to fail, you know?...

...It seriously, legit, makes me feel like a [expletive] compared to the 14-16 year-olds that seem to be having a much better time, because whether or not their tuppers are more legit than one made over the course of several months, they're having a fuck of a lot more fun than I am, aren't they? Ugh...

...Talk at Null to your heart's content, friend. If she wants to reply, I'm sure she'll pop back up or something.

I think null is currently too deep to be able to reply at the moment. Otherwise I would consider it. I think maybe if I had managed a conversation with her it would have started something, but this is more of a scientist's instinct to test everything and see if it works.

you are not [explitive] compared to those kids. By my own experience, I actually think you are right and they are the [expletive], with the ramen noodle tulpas being very character like in their feel many times. I don't see this as a problem in itself, but it feels like someone drawing a squiggle on paper, declaring it to be masterful art, and not refining their method further, or trying to climb to a higher standard.

But I don't think people these days have a better mindset. Rather, I think they have better methods outlined in the newer guides. They cause new problems, like difficulties sorting your thoughts from the tulpa's, but they do get faster results.

Definitely. Telling people it is possible to fail is the right thing to do. Also, I wonder about the mental thing there. Like yes, technically? But we don't really know what that mental thing is, which is why I recommend to experiment a lot. And meditate.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
04-29-2017, 12:55 AM
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Luminesce Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
You're not giving up, are you?

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
06-13-2017, 02:34 AM
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Enny Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Oh, sorry for not replying immediately, I don't check this section too often these days.

Uhhh. I don't know, maybe. I'm definitely not doing anything right now, and I don't really have any like.. Desire to, I guess. I mean yeah, I do, tuppering is still cool and I'm envious of everyone and yadda yadda, everyone knows how I feel about it. I just don't feel like I have the capacity to throw myself into it and remain optimistic right now, if ever again. Every time someone brings it up here, or in private somewhere, I always feel kind of good about it because I realize I have so many people who are so supportive to help, and I'll kick the idea of delegating some time towards it around, but, come on, you guys know me, I'm not gonna go in 100%. I haven't gone in as well as I possibly could in years, man. When did Peachy happen? Was that 2015? Yeah, I'd just finished up school, and I was putting in more time than I was used to, and it was screwing with my head.

My attempt with Null was great for a good while, then bad, then I had that really short span where things were fantastic, and I felt really, really happy with that, but even then I wasn't being as dedicated as I could have been. Then it all fell off and I couldn't get it running again, and here we are, or whatever.

I don't know. It's kind of tiring. I guess I can't say for sure how stressful it is living with a tupper in the longterm, but trying to make it with this and go through the love/hate, I'm gonna do it/I can't do this, for so long, was kind of killing me.

And fuck, it hurts to think about, you know? I feel horrible thinking back on every attempt I called quits on. I don't want to call it quits on Null either, but at the same time, the best I could tell you is "Maybe in a few months", but I don't feel that way. I don't want to feel that way, right now. I want to do this, but I don't wanna pour in even more time than I've already spent stressing it. I don't think it's worth it anymore, I guess.

But hell, you know me, I could end up feeling nostalgic and motivated in six months, or a year, and I might be giving it another go, feeling refreshed. Right now though, and for as far as I can see, I'm done. I don't try to talk to Null anymore, I don't passively narrate out of habit, I don't even think about her when I'm not reading something directly referencing her, or that reminds me of her, on here. And I know that sucks for more people than just me, and I'm sorry for that, I guess.

I don't think I have the character, the dedication, the work-ethic, or the imagination to create a tulpa. Too little too late after four years, but with every fiber of my being, I believe that I'm lacking in every area required to see this process through, and I haven't believed I could do it in years. And I understand that it's that belief that's holding me back, but I can't do anything for it. I've tried, I'm lacking, and that's that, I guess.

So yeah. I still do my RP stuff with all my little characters, and stories, and that's fun enough, I guess. There are a couple of personalities there that I've been developing beyond the bounds of what I've ever really done before, lately, that I'll spend two or three hours or more a night thinking about, but I don't think there's even a glimmer of autonomy, or anything that could develop past what it says on the tin, so I guess that's all there is for it.

I'm sorry to disappoint anyone that I have. And that's a very, very genuine statement. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time, both mine, and the time of everyone who's ever offered help here, or through PM when I've come crawling, asking for really basic advice.

We got close. That's the funniest thing. Just.. The funniest thing.
06-15-2017, 09:14 AM
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Luminesce Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Alright. Well, it's not wasted time because it could've resulted in accomplishing your goal. Hindsight is 20/20, but nobody knows the future. Obviously having a tulpa would be a positive thing, but I only recommend still trying at this point if you would be negatively impacted to not. Like, if you're more or less fine in the ways that a tulpa could help, then whatever. Also stick to the RP thing, just try and stop thinking in terms of autonomy or parroting you know? Stop thinking of yourself as a failure at making tulpas and be happy with what you do have. That could very well end up filling some of the same roles as a tulpa, if not direct companionship. Well, you know what I'm saying. Just because you don't have a tulpa doesn't mean anything you do have is "less" or you can't be happy with it, but being around this community for so long will make you think like that.

And yeah if you ever feel like spending some more time in the hopes of at least having another "fantastic" period, I'll still be here.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
06-15-2017, 05:42 PM
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nivereno Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Dat Hoers spitfire avatar thou...

I don't feel I've wasted my time by reading about your misadventures and commenting once in a while. I guess, I still kind of hope you
eventually succeed in tulpa things by some randomness or another.

Shade is the tulpa, [Stuff]=her. Her form is: pegasus mlp pony with dark grey coat and black mane and tail.
(This post was last modified: 06-16-2017, 02:16 PM by nivereno.)
06-16-2017, 02:15 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
Reading the parts of this progress report that I did helped me write my guide.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
06-16-2017, 04:15 PM
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Stevie Offline
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RE: Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy
I don't think anyone's disappointed in you, we're not your parents or something. You have your entire life to revisit this, and your brain doesn't structurally mature until what, you're like 25? Don't feel like you have to be locked into this cycle just to appease the "You Killed A Budding Tulpa" people that don't really exist anymore around here anyway.

We're all gonna make it brah.
06-17-2017, 12:05 AM
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