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Erasing myself
Fox Girl Tulpa Offline
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#1
 
Erasing myself
Ignore the stupid title, I couldn't think of a better one for this progress report. Also, this will be a wall of text. 

So, after thinking a lot about it, finally I've decided that this is what I truly want, to switch forever. I've been pursuing this idea long time ago but I was too lazy to take a step forward, since not only I want to switch permanently, I also want my wonderland to feel like real life, and I know this is possible, I've been imposing my tulpa a lot before and I'm able to, literally, hallucinate her in all five senses, so I don't see why I couldn't do the same with my whole wonderland (of course, after a lot of hard work), and since during the switching I'll be completely dissociated from my body, then, that should make things a lot easier. 

So far, here are the two things I need to master in order to achieve the kind of switching I want

-Total control of my reality, I mean, being able to impose ANYTHING at any time and keep it constant for as long as I want

-Complete dissociation from my body and absolute immersion of my wonderland, that is, feel my wonderland as real as reality itself

It's time to get rid of my stupid laziness and start getting serious with this. Now, the proccess itself. 

What I'm going to do is create a tulpa (already created) off myself and teach her in possession (and lately switching) when she become able of keeping long conversations with me. She's already vocal and sentient but she can't barely keep up a conversation for more than 5 minutes. 

This tulpa, let's call her Alicia, has my same appareance, but her own personality, I didn't put on her any previous personality set because of this. The appareance and name is just for her to get used to my body. Of course it seems fucking selfish from me to create a tulpa for this purpose, but I've talked to Alicia about this before, I've told her what the purpose of her creation is  and asked her if she is OK with that. She agreed but only if I let her do with my life whatever she wants, so that's it, when the switching  is complete, she will do with my body/life whatever she wants, even if I disagree, for example, having children, tatoos, piercings, whatever...BUT, is the price I've paid for a life in my wonderland, once this is done, this body and this life won't be mine anymore. 

Now, before any of you think that it's super unfair that my new tulpa has to take care of my life while I'm avoiding it, well, let me explain. My life isn't bad at all, OK, it may be boring as hell, but not bad in terms of being a complete misery of constant pain, at least, not for the moment. The fact that I hate my life (correction, I don't hate MY life, I just hate life in general) is something personal. On the other hand, I find my wonderland an absolute heaven, man, I'm god there, I can do whatever I want, no matter what it is. But the fact that I hate this life doesn't mean that Alicia has to, I think that my life, in the good hands, can be a very fulfilled one, it would be a shame if it was going to be wasted just because I hate it, while others could kill for a life like mine. 

But beside the hate I have for this life, my life is 'perfect', loving and stable family, caring friends, excelent health and physical condition and good economic situation, the only 'problem' I have is school, but is my last year, my tulpa won't have to deal with that since I have on mind to complete the switching in the summer (I hope so....)  so she can have lot of free time to get used to my life. 

And for the question  why don't you use your actual tulpa for this? well, that's simple, I'm in love with her, I want her to be by my side forever, be tulpas really sentient or not, as long as I don't find out the truth, everything will be OK, ignorance is bliss. 

With all of this said, tomorrow this get started.
05-02-2017, 04:37 PM
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tulpa001 Away
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#2
 
RE: Erasing myself
Akai, what do you think about all this? You don't post as much on this forum.

Indeed that sounds off. Because a tulpa can both take your place and spend time with you in wonderland. Also, a tulpa is real, so not sure why ignorance is bliss in this case.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
05-02-2017, 05:49 PM
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Lucilyn Offline
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#3
 
RE: Erasing myself
ain't no truth of sentience or not, in your own head the only truth is what you experience, it's not "Is my tulpa sentient", it's "Does my tulpa seem like a separate person whom I have no influence over", or even "Do I care? nah". What would it even mean if some psychic-scientist told you your tulpa wasn't sentient? Nothing would change unless you thought about them different. But then, you could choose to think of them as sentient anyway...

So uh, escapism through permaswitching is kinda taboo/discouraged in this community, but personally I don't think your plan is bad. Because it works for you, and supposedly the tulpa you're creating too. Though we've yet to see if you'll be able to switch with them (and indefinitely - it took us a few months before we stopped getting tired from switching for 4->16 hours but I've been fronting for like 1.5 months right now) and if they'll really like life so much more than you. But both are very possible! And people will still probably suggest trying to get help for improving your mindset and stuff, but I dunno. Do what you think is right and keep an open mind (maybe you'll feel like fronting more often after a while, maybe not, you never know what the future will bring). So I wish you guys luck and happiness, and while I don't encourage permaswitching for escapism if that really seems like the best thing to do to you I won't stop you either.

Also if you really do get switching down, that opens up a lot more possibilities for all of you, like usually I'm only fronting when we have no school/work to play around, while Tewi fronts for serious/difficult stuff like school or work and Lumi is otherwise fronting by default. I'm just sayin', even if you stay in the wonderland for a while, it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing you know?

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas. I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written.
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
05-02-2017, 05:59 PM
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Fox Girl Tulpa Offline
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#4
 
RE: Erasing myself
(05-02-2017, 05:49 PM)tulpa001 Wrote: Akai, what do you think about all this? You don't post as much on this forum.

Indeed that sounds off. Because a tulpa can both take your place and spend time with you in wonderland. Also, a tulpa is real, so not sure why ignorance is bliss in this case.

-I'm perfectly ok with that. I'll be helping both of them as much as I can. The idea wasn't mine, though-

Akai is my girlfriend, and I really want to spend all the time with her, that's why I create Alicia, of course, I love her too, she'll have all my attention during the next weeks and I'll be sure (or at least I'll try) that she doesn't feel left out.

I said ignorance is bliss because if I believe that tulpas are really sentient and then I find the truth and turns out that they aren't, then I'll be very depressed, so in this case, it's better remain ignorant and just don't questioning it. It's not like you can prove it anyways.

Also, thank you Lucilyn
05-02-2017, 06:35 PM
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Fox Girl Tulpa Offline
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#5
 
RE: Erasing myself
Day 1

It's not really the first day. She was created in March, just the first day of progress report.

I've spent most of the session imposing Alicia around me, which was kinda disturbing since she has my same appareance.

We were watching the anime 'To Aru Majutsu no Index' which Alicia found very interesting, she conviced me to make a schedule of one episode per day. After that, my mother forced me to take my stupid little brother to his lessons, of course, Alicia went with me all the way.

When my brother was there, I accidentally said 'Okay, Alicia and I will go home then' (dammit) I completely forgot he doesn't know shit about this whole thing, and he gave me a very weird look, I'll have to be really  cautious with this.

Finally at home, we tried possession, just because she insisted on it, I, honestly, didn't expected her to accomplish it, and I was right, she wasn't able to control any part of my body. I told her that it's normal, and after enough practice, she'll be able to use this body on a daily basis, and later on, always.
05-03-2017, 04:31 PM
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Fox Girl Tulpa Offline
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#6
 
RE: Erasing myself
I know I haven't posted anything at all, it's because nothing interesting has happen. We had been just watching anime and movies and going to my cousin's house (torture btw)

Day 2 (the others doesn't count, I didn't do shit)

Today I forced by 2 hours without losing my focus. I've changed our wonderland totally so I've been basically visualizing it in all details, there are things that aren't stable yet. While I was visualizing the wonderland, I tried to immerse myself my trying to feel my wonderland body as real as possible, I failed, geez...

After that I went on a walk only with Alicia imposed. I took her to the river of my city and bought an ice cream and imposed one for her too. I tried a funny thing, the ice cream was of blueberry, thing that I've never tasted before, so I told Alicia to eat it before me and then tell me what it tasted like. Then I eat it to compare flavours and see how accurate it was. Guess what? exactly, the flavour she told me was totally different from the real one.

I also tried some kind of parallel processing. I imposed Alicia while I was doing an activity that requires totally concentration. I was just able to keep her imposed for a few minutes before I lose my focus on her.
05-09-2017, 06:58 PM
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