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Esydia's good ideas, and if theyve worked or not.


Esydia Taruk

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so yeah, heres my ideas so far.

 

i knew when i started i wanted to have my tulpa be a dragon, or a stately androgynous Victorian style gentleman. well from there i started a sketch set. starting with just the most basic ideas i could make i drew out my ideas. naked men, not my strong suit, never have been good at getting their thighs to look right, and i needed to draw the whole body if i wanted this to work, so that was out for me. maybe if i decide on a second tulpa after my drawing skills improve, but on to the dragon. first, i made an egg in a nest. it was adorable X3 then i also did this weird half mediate half conscious thing that i do, never under stood how, so don't ask, and sketched out the kind of dragon it would be without quite giving it all of the personal markers that mature dragons have. i came out with an Asian dragon that had some almost human shifts in its facial features this i did not decide to fix, and so it still has them. this has worked well so far. im not so good at thinking the exact same way more than once, and so the egg which i have been using for the personality part of creation has been helping me keep my thoughts organized and also been helping me visualize the same thing more than once without making my own changes without the tulpa's help or consent. in line with that same set of thoughts comes another idea to help me or if you use it you to stay consistent during the begging of the process. after writing down all of the traits you want your tulpa to have, make it a reccoridng my thoughts stray continuously when im trying to focus on anything unless im either listening to something, or actively using my hands to accomplish something, ie. typing, drawing, taking notes ect. so instead of trying to explode my head forcing myself into something that is well beyond me, i have been recording what i want to tell my tulpa about itself, and i intend to start using the recording instead of getting distracted by fairies in my wonderland. i havent tested this one quite yet, but i will follow this post up with the results.

 

PS. i just drank a huge cup of full caff tea, so i did write this post while somewhat hyper. im sorry for grammar, run on sentences, and lack of capitalization. i usually only have problems with capitalization, and i have been working on that a bit, so unless im writing hyper again, itl be more understandable next time.

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Alright, so after about two sessions of the same recording my tulpa stopped listening to me, but it had at this point understood enough of what i was trying to make it hear that it knew it didn't want to hear it, so ive started just speaking to it, trying to make conversation. no response persay, just it listening again.

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