Hello There, Guest! Register


[General] Can you help me decide if I Should create a Tulpa? Please?
Anonymous271 Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 5
Threads: 3
Joined: Jun 2018
#1
 
Can you help me decide if I Should create a Tulpa? Please?

When I discovered the aspect of Tulpae, I wanted to create one. To have as a friend, a companion, someone to talk to. But I don’t know if I should. If I was to create a Tulpa, I don’t know if he/she would be happy with me.
I’m going to be frank; I don’t have, nor can I handle a job or college, I still live with my parents at 25 years old, I have depression, and I have autism. (Not that having autism is an “issue”. Just adding to the record)(We are fine financially, where we live, etc.) It is these things that make unsure if a Tulpa would be happy living with me. While not having a job or being in college would give PLENTY of time to spend with him/her, and going out and doing things with him/her (Walking though town, seeing movies, playing games, etc.), I can’t help but wonder if he/she would be happy living with me and in a sense, living with my problems.
So I thought I would ask you; people who have experience with Tulpae, and those who live with them. Do you think I should create a Tulpa?
06-05-2018, 05:23 PM
Find Reply

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

solarchariot Offline
It's bigger on the inside
Forum Moderators

Posts: 240
Threads: 14
Joined: Apr 2016
#2
 
RE: Can you help me decide if I Should create a Tulpa? Please?

Hello, Anonymous271.

It seems like your primary rationale in favor of have a tulpa is to address loneliness. I suspect that is a primary reason for many. It was a significant player in my own rationale. The next largest motivator for me was curiosity. Could I do it? What would I explore if I could? I had lots of academic sort of questions, and existential sorts of questions... I think I am frequently surprised that tulpas don't spur more metaphysical debates, but that is likely just my bias thinking existential naturally goes there. Loneliness is such a profound facet of our society, with evidence showing it is at epidemic levels and likely to get worse; lots of people are looking for ways to address this issue. Is tulpamancy a way? By definition. But the next component of your question is really interesting, and I suspect it is somehow tied into your paradigm- something worth exploring:"Would a tulpa be happy living with me..." question. It sounds like there is an assumption here that loneliness is a derivative of having problems, or maybe not being interesting. Most of our go-to models (movies, books) for addressing this need suggest that people have to be interesting or borderline perfect to have friends or relationships, and that just isn't accurate. No human is perfect. Having problems is a quintessential part of being human.

Would a tulpa like you? Love you? Probably. Like 99 percent probability. (Very few people reach despicable me levels, but even he has minions. (Some really bad people of history have had dogs. The dogs still liked them, which probably says more about the character of dogs than humans....(tulpa dogs!)) It is such a given that you would be liked by your tulpa regardless of circumstances and situation I think it shouldn't be factor in terms cost benefit analysis on whether you should or shouldn't engage in tulpamancy. We tend to love the families we are born into. (Yes, there are exceptions. That's why I say tend.) With nothing more than to go on about you than you are considering tulpas, I like you. You considering tulpas, seriously considering, that's interesting to me. You're engaged in specific mental exercise that demonstrates you recognize something's missing in your life and you are motivated to respond to it, and you're responding outside the box. That's super cool. I wouldn't give up on real folks, yet. Having autism doesn't preclude having people friends. Does it make it challenging? Yes. I bet you're high enough functioning that if you wanted to you could work or go to college, but even that isn't a necessary activity if your primary needs are met by family and friends. Society has very high definitions of what it means to be an independent adult, but those very definitions limit us socially and actually increase loneliness because we expect people to conform in all ways to a minimum expectation, and that doesn't capture all human beings. We have different needs, different skills, and different ways of processing information... Most of the folks I know with ASD see through the social BS to the most important facets of life, and quite frankly society needs that... We need smart people. Smart people tend to be lonely. I don't think ASD should be a part of this equation for you, but since you mentioned it, it seems significant, for you. If you don't tell people you have it, my guess would be most people won't catch on. Because it's in my life, I am familiar with it, but usually when I suspect ASD, I might first ask, "Were you home schooled?" You can pass high functioning ASD off as homeschooled. (So if you ever wanted an out of answering yes to ASD, just say, 'I was homeschooled so sometimes I miss some of the social nuances...')

But you said 'can't handle a job/college...' and so, I am curious what that means. I assume it's not the ASD, because you wrote "Not that having autism is the issue." Depression could be a huge factor in that, and could influence loneliness. Have you tried counseling? "I still live with my parents at 25..." That statement sounds like it is a measurement of you as a person. There is so much to sort here, but here's the thing, ASD is a real thing, as is depression, and this influences whether you have a job, or go to college, and most people only go to college to get a job, as opposed to just increase personal knowledge which is a very different reason to go, but you can also just get that from living your life... Anyway, just ASD alone removes the stigma of the age/living with parent equation. Statistically speaking, more people are living with parents today than any previous generation; people without the diagnosis of ASD or depression are living at home because more and more there just aren't the number of jobs that there use to be, There will be fewer jobs in the future, and of those job, most will be tech jobs requiring a minimum proficiency training level (college!) Seriously. McDonalds is pushing its first fully automated stores. They have dentist slash vending machines rolling out in japan. we live in a unique time in history where the definitions of what 'productive citizen' means is going to have to change. You are exempt from that measure; but clearly, you are socially sophisticated enough to recognize it has a flavor and an impact, because unfortunately, most people lead with "so what do you do for a living and where do you live..." Anonymous271, don't use that measure to know who you are. I would bet my life, your family doesn't measure you on that, just based on what you wrote.

If you want a tulpa, make a tulpa. Give them the honesty and the insight to understand the entirety of you. Be an open book. Are there things that you can do better? Well, sure, isn't that true of all of us? You are not broken. You have value beyond what you can measure; you can't see it because, well, you're in it and part of the measure. If you're really lucky, your tulpa will be brilliant enough to point out your errors and encourage you to push boundaries and do things that surprise even you. If you're really really lucky, he/she will call you out on your BS, and still love you. That's what real friends, do, right? They love us for who we are, and tell us when we're wrong. (We have such a low tolerance anymore for being called out as wrong that we forget that's what friends are for.) Depending on their personality they will either encourage us to be more, hold us accountable, comfort us... Can they be indifferent? I suppose. I suppose a person can even be mean... I don't think that's what you would create because that doesn't sound like who you are. (I am speculating and intuiting most of that.) You actually sound pretty normal, which means, you have loves and fears and wants... Yay! All that to say, you're going to be okay no matter what you decide.
06-05-2018, 06:38 PM
Find Reply
Anonymous271 Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 5
Threads: 3
Joined: Jun 2018
#3
 
RE: Can you help me decide if I Should create a Tulpa? Please?

(06-05-2018, 06:38 PM)solarchariot Wrote: Hello, Anonymous271.

It seems like your primary rationale in favor of have a tulpa is to address loneliness. I suspect that is a primary reason for many. It was a significant player in my own rationale. The next largest motivator for me was curiosity. Could I do it? What would I explore if I could? I had lots of academic sort of questions, and existential sorts of questions... I think I am frequently surprised that tulpas don't spur more metaphysical debates, but that is likely just my bias thinking existential naturally goes there. Loneliness is such a profound facet of our society, with evidence showing it is at epidemic levels and likely to get worse; lots of people are looking for ways to address this issue. Is tulpamancy a way? By definition. But the next component of your question is really interesting, and I suspect it is somehow tied into your paradigm- something worth exploring:"Would a tulpa be happy living with me..." question. It sounds like there is an assumption here that loneliness is a derivative of having problems, or maybe not being interesting. Most of our go-to models (movies, books) for addressing this need suggest that people have to be interesting or borderline perfect to have friends or relationships, and that just isn't accurate. No human is perfect. Having problems is a quintessential part of being human.

Would a tulpa like you? Love you? Probably. Like 99 percent probability. (Very few people reach despicable me levels, but even he has minions. (Some really bad people of history have had dogs. The dogs still liked them, which probably says more about the character of dogs than humans....(tulpa dogs!)) It is such a given that you would be liked by your tulpa regardless of circumstances and situation I think it shouldn't be factor in terms cost benefit analysis on whether you should or shouldn't engage in tulpamancy. We tend to love the families we are born into. (Yes, there are exceptions. That's why I say tend.) With nothing more than to go on about you than you are considering tulpas, I like you. You considering tulpas, seriously considering, that's interesting to me. You're engaged in specific mental exercise that demonstrates you recognize something's missing in your life and you are motivated to respond to it, and you're responding outside the box. That's super cool. I wouldn't give up on real folks, yet. Having autism doesn't preclude having people friends. Does it make it challenging? Yes. I bet you're high enough functioning that if you wanted to you could work or go to college, but even that isn't a necessary activity if your primary needs are met by family and friends. Society has very high definitions of what it means to be an independent adult, but those very definitions limit us socially and actually increase loneliness because we expect people to conform in all ways to a minimum expectation, and that doesn't capture all human beings. We have different needs, different skills, and different ways of processing information... Most of the folks I know with ASD see through the social BS to the most important facets of life, and quite frankly society needs that... We need smart people. Smart people tend to be lonely. I don't think ASD should be a part of this equation for you, but since you mentioned it, it seems significant, for you. If you don't tell people you have it, my guess would be most people won't catch on. Because it's in my life, I am familiar with it, but usually when I suspect ASD, I might first ask, "Were you home schooled?" You can pass high functioning ASD off as homeschooled. (So if you ever wanted an out of answering yes to ASD, just say, 'I was homeschooled so sometimes I miss some of the social nuances...')

But you said 'can't handle a job/college...' and so, I am curious what that means. I assume it's not the ASD, because you wrote "Not that having autism is the issue." Depression could be a huge factor in that, and could influence loneliness. Have you tried counseling? "I still live with my parents at 25..." That statement sounds like it is a measurement of you as a person. There is so much to sort here, but here's the thing, ASD is a real thing, as is depression, and this influences whether you have a job, or go to college, and most people only go to college to get a job, as opposed to just increase personal knowledge which is a very different reason to go, but you can also just get that from living your life... Anyway, just ASD alone removes the stigma of the age/living with parent equation. Statistically speaking, more people are living with parents today than any previous generation; people without the diagnosis of ASD or depression are living at home because more and more there just aren't the number of jobs that there use to be, There will be fewer jobs in the future, and of those job, most will be tech jobs requiring a minimum proficiency training level (college!) Seriously. McDonalds is pushing its first fully automated stores. They have dentist slash vending machines rolling out in japan. we live in a unique time in history where the definitions of what 'productive citizen' means is going to have to change. You are exempt from that measure; but clearly, you are socially sophisticated enough to recognize it has a flavor and an impact, because unfortunately, most people lead with "so what do you do for a living and where do you live..." Anonymous271, don't use that measure to know who you are. I would bet my life, your family doesn't measure you on that, just based on what you wrote.

If you want a tulpa, make a tulpa. Give them the honesty and the insight to understand the entirety of you. Be an open book. Are there things that you can do better? Well, sure, isn't that true of all of us? You are not broken. You have value beyond what you can measure; you can't see it because, well, you're in it and part of the measure. If you're really lucky, your tulpa will be brilliant enough to point out your errors and encourage you to push boundaries and do things that surprise even you. If you're really really lucky, he/she will call you out on your BS, and still love you. That's what real friends, do, right? They love us for who we are, and tell us when we're wrong. (We have such a low tolerance anymore for being called out as wrong that we forget that's what friends are for.) Depending on their personality they will either encourage us to be more, hold us accountable, comfort us... Can they be indifferent? I suppose. I suppose a person can even be mean... I don't think that's what you would create because that doesn't sound like who you are. (I am speculating and intuiting most of that.) You actually sound pretty normal, which means, you have loves and fears and wants... Yay! All that to say, you're going to be okay no matter what you decide.
Thank you so much for your words. I have been doing practices in creating a Tulpa, (I just got home from a walk in which i was narrating along the way. The sights, building info, ect.) and I think I will continue.
Again, Thank you so much for your kind words.
06-05-2018, 07:04 PM
Find Reply
ShadowsDancing Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 14
Threads: 0
Joined: Jun 2018
#4
 
RE: Can you help me decide if I Should create a Tulpa? Please?

Short answer is yes; go for it.

Just be forewarned that as your new friend grows as a person they might try and help you with stuff, not just be company!
This study might be of interest to you. http://www.sciepub.com/rpbs/abstract/8104

All credit to:
http://community.tulpa.info/thread-tulpa...xperiences
06-05-2018, 10:19 PM
Find Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to


Contact Us | Tulpa.Info | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication