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[General] I'm not sure if I'm doing it right
disconnected Offline
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#1
 
I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

Hey tulpa community!
I just finished my registration on this website and have a question right off the bat. 
I started making a Tulpa ~ a week ago and tried to make a "forcing plan" with a structure which I'm following every day since then.
I wanted to ask you guys, if how I'm doing it is right and if theoretically I can accomplish making a tulpa by my forcing plan. 
You should know that concentration as well as narration are very hard for me, because of my mental illnesses. Also I'm skipping 
visualisation, because I first want to reach the state where the tulpa is simply sentient with a personality and I can hallucinate her voice. 

My plan looks like this (like I said, I'm following it every day): 
1. For 15 minutes I read all the stuff to him that I wrote down about his personality. 
2. For 15 minutes I parrot him while imagining his voice, but only to make some speech exercises (vocals and other sounds, tounge-twisters and so on)
3. For 15 minutes I read various short stories to him (a type of narration which is easier for me). 
(For focusing on my tulpa I always use either the tulpa symbol drawn on my hand or a stuffed animal which I'm talking to)

And here's what I already "finished": 
0. I read all I could about tulpamancy (which I'm doing since two years every once in a while)
1. I introduced myself to him and explained what he is, what's going to happen from now on, who I am and so on. 
2. I build a chakra/meridian structure into him as well as an sphere-like essence in his stomach. 
3. I wrote down the stuff I mentioned above about his personality. 
4. I did some symbolic ritual (burning sigils) to activate his personality characteristics. 

What I'm planning to add to the forcing plan soon: 
1. Making a wonderland with various things the tulpa can kill his time with when I'm not around to talk to him. 
2. Try to add 15 minutes "free conversation" (but I have to find a specific way to do this, because like I said narration is hard for me) 
3. More vocality and also auditory imposition exercises. 

Well, that's it. Now I would like to know from you, if with these aspects I can accomplish making a tulpa and if it's enough what I'm doing. 
Should I add specific techniques/methods? Am I forgetting something important? Should I spend more time or are 45 minutes a day theoretically enough?
03-28-2018, 12:08 PM
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Spice Offline
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#2
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

some people won't really dig the metaphysical stuff, but if it helps, i say go for it!
You're doing just fine, dude. I force for about 20-30 min because I have unmedicated adhd and I can't concentrate for an hour. 45 minutes is great! What's important is repetition, rather than length. (That being said, 10+ minutes is definitely best)

If you have a form for him, and you don't want to "tie" him to the stuffed animal, you should work on visualisation. Early communication is done through a lot of gestures in the wonderland/mindscape, and without visualisation skills, it is hard to communicate early-on.
03-28-2018, 12:59 PM
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disconnected Offline
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#3
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

(03-28-2018, 12:59 PM)Spice Wrote: some people won't really dig the metaphysical stuff, but if it helps, i say go for it!
You're doing just fine, dude. I force for about 20-30 min because I have unmedicated adhd and I can't concentrate for an hour. 45 minutes is great! What's important is repetition, rather than length. (That being said, 10+ minutes is definitely best)

If you have a form for him, and you don't want to "tie" him to the stuffed animal, you should work on visualisation. Early communication is done through a lot of gestures in the wonderland/mindscape, and without visualisation skills, it is hard to communicate early-on.

Thanks for the answer. Yeah, the metaphysical stuff honestly helps me a lot (and I actually believe that chakra/aura as well as all the other energy stuff is real. I like to see tulpas as astral beings). 
And that's good to know that 45 min is okay, I was worried that it prevents my creation process. More than 45-60 min would be really hard for me, because my concentration and my focus are kinda broken 'cause of my schizophrenia. 

I definitely don't want to tie it to the stuffed animal, it's meant only as a focus help. I guess I will add 10 minutes of visualisation then, what you're writing sounds right. 
And you're talking about communication in a wonderland, would you say that a wonderland would be a big help for general forcing?
03-28-2018, 01:37 PM
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disconnected Offline
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#4
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

Oh and I would be happy if also someone else could give me advice.
03-28-2018, 10:22 PM
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jean-luc Offline
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#5
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

Consistency is most important here; If you find that you're less motivated as time goes on to do your structured activities, consider breaking from that or doing it for shorter periods. An hour spent forcing is better than 30min, but 30min every day is better than an hour occasionally when you feel up to it.

Whatever you do, keep talking to your tulpa and do it every day. No excuses.

Host: Jean-luc (plain-colored text)
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and ramble crazily about everything while walking on Jean-luc walking.
(This post was last modified: 03-29-2018, 05:45 PM by jean-luc.)
03-29-2018, 05:45 PM
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solarchariot Offline
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#6
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

Your time schedule seems reasonable, but I don't think there is an absolute here, other than the more time invested the better, with caveats, such as, focusing too much in a day or in a session could result in a decrease of effectiveness, assuming the following analogy is accurate: exercising is good, but you don't exercise all day to triple the benefits. Same with mediation, 20 minute sessions, twice a day, seems to be the recommended number, at least using the TM method. I suspect the more fun your sessions are, the more likely you will engage them. You don't want it to be a chore, and yet, a disciplined approach, like you are aiming is probably more helpful. Consistency over time equals results, but actual units of time required vary per person. Hypothetically, your schedule, or any consistent schedule, will eventually result in experiences, and once the experiences start, every further interaction tends to increase the frequency and intensity of future experiences.

I am curious about your schizophrenia. I appreciate you sharing in what you have in a public forum. I wish there were more open conversation in our societal dialogue about mental health so the stigma could decrease. Naturally, don't feel compelled to answer any questions I might pose, directly or indirectly through my rambling. It sounds like you have been reading on this subject, and you have probably read general warnings recommending people with MH problems not engaging Tulpamancy. So, just points of interest that I would be curious about: family history of MH, any substance use history, typical presentation so I might understand the particular flavor you experience, as it a spectrum, are you under the care of a psychiatrist, do you presently experience AVH, or have you ever? (And if you never did, do you really want to add this?) These are things I don't actually need an answer to, as I move to this part of the curiosity. You mention concentration and narration is 'hard' and I wonder if that is because of the MH challenge, or because medicinal regimens, or because of general life obligations. Are you concerned that engaging Tulpamancy could result in AVH artifacts that could make it more difficult to discern between symptoms of genuine MH concerns and tulpa?

I am thinking about my language and my clear effort to remain neutral, but I suspect I lean more towards the concern side of the equation. Though from an intellectual exercise I have made arguments that Tulpamancy could be helpful, I just can't back that up scientifically. Has your experiences with schizophrenia influenced your decision to pursue Tulpamancy? What are your expectations for Tulpamancy?

Do you have any specific concerns? I ask because I am not sure how folks are going to respond with more data than I or Spice have shared, just in terms of schedules. Spice is always so positive! Go team, yay! I would also say she is right, if the metaphysical component increase your engagement, then it will be helpful. I actually lean towards the metaphysical aspects of this, but I could say the chakras and meridians could be viewed as simple psychological scaffolding that is just as useful as imagining actual anatomy, ie bone or muscle structures. So, awww, I don't feel coherent at the moment, but generally, echoing Spice and her sentiment, I don't see why you wouldn't be successful if you just keep at it. The only advice is, if this is something you want, keep doing what you're doing. There isn't an easy path. Muscle strength and tone requires exercise, healthy diet, and consistency. Building neural connection requires stimulus and(probably healthy dietWink maintaining/strengthening connections require repetition.
03-29-2018, 06:21 PM
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disconnected Offline
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#7
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

Thanks you guys, yeah sometimes I'm feeling like my motivation is getting drained, but I will
definitely force myself to spend time and talk to my tulpa on an everyday basis.
I will keep that consistency you (jean-luc) talk about in mind. I will now answer the other post
about my schizophrenia.
03-30-2018, 10:29 AM
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disconnected Offline
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#8
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

(03-29-2018, 06:21 PM)solarchariot Wrote: Your time schedule seems reasonable, but I don't think there is an absolute here, other than the more time invested the better, with caveats, such as, focusing too much in a day or in a session could result in a decrease of effectiveness, assuming the following analogy is accurate: exercising is good, but you don't exercise all day to triple the benefits. Same with mediation, 20 minute sessions, twice a day, seems to be the recommended number, at least using the TM method. I suspect the more fun your sessions are, the more likely you will engage them. You don't want it to be a chore, and yet, a disciplined approach, like you are aiming is probably more helpful. Consistency over time equals results, but actual units of time required vary per person. Hypothetically, your schedule, or any consistent schedule, will eventually result in experiences, and once the experiences start, every further interaction tends to increase the frequency and intensity of future experiences.

I am curious about your schizophrenia. I appreciate you sharing in what you have in a public forum. I wish there were more open conversation in our societal dialogue about mental health so the stigma could decrease. Naturally, don't feel compelled to answer any questions I might pose, directly or indirectly through my rambling. It sounds like you have been reading on this subject, and you have probably read general warnings recommending people with MH problems not engaging Tulpamancy. So, just points of interest that I would be curious about: family history of MH, any substance use history, typical presentation so I might understand the particular flavor you experience, as it a spectrum, are you under the care of a psychiatrist, do you presently experience AVH, or have you ever? (And if you never did, do you really want to add this?) These are things I don't actually need an answer to, as I move to this part of the curiosity. You mention concentration and narration is 'hard' and I wonder if that is because of the MH challenge, or because medicinal regimens, or because of general life obligations. Are you concerned that engaging Tulpamancy could result in AVH artifacts that could make it more difficult to discern between symptoms of genuine MH concerns and tulpa?

I am thinking about my language and my clear effort to remain neutral, but I suspect I lean more towards the concern side of the equation. Though from an intellectual exercise I have made arguments that Tulpamancy could be helpful, I just can't back that up scientifically. Has your experiences with schizophrenia influenced your decision to pursue Tulpamancy?  What are your expectations for Tulpamancy?

Do you have any specific concerns? I ask because I am not sure how folks are going to respond with more data than I or Spice have shared, just in terms of schedules. Spice is always so positive! Go team, yay! I would also say she is right, if the metaphysical component increase your engagement, then it will be helpful. I actually lean towards the metaphysical aspects of this, but I could say the chakras and meridians could be viewed as simple psychological scaffolding that is just as useful as imagining actual anatomy, ie bone or muscle structures. So, awww, I don't feel coherent at the moment, but generally, echoing Spice and her sentiment, I don't see why you wouldn't be successful if you just keep at it. The only advice is, if this is something you want, keep doing what you're doing. There isn't an easy path. Muscle strength and tone requires exercise, healthy diet, and consistency. Building neural connection requires stimulus and(probably healthy dietWink maintaining/strengthening connections require repetition.

@solarchariot
First of all - thank you for your advice, I will keep it in mind. 
And now on to your questions (oh and I hope my english is acceptable, I'm from germany) 
Yeah, I read the warnings about Tulpamancy and MH problems. But since I'm a person who 
doesn't care much about warnings but rather about own experience, I'm kinda ignoring those warnings. 
My fascination about controlling my mind (rather than being controlled by it because of the 
schizophrenia) is very tempting to me. 
In my family there are various MH problems. My mother had panic attacks and depression, my 
grandmother was traumatized by the second world war and still needs benzodiazepine-medication
and is also depressed, 
my aunt was an alcoholic (also depressed), another one was addicted to some kind of pills and so on. 
My substance abuse history is... problematic. I'm addicted to opiates and tried all kind of 
drugs, I guess I took ~30 different substances in my life. From hallucinogens (but I didn't 
get schizophrenia because of those) to MDMA to amphetamine and cocaine to various opiates/opioids 
to cannabis, alcohole and more. I'm currently 18 years old and 5 years ago I got mentally ill. 
It started with severe depression, obsessive-compulsive symptoms and several psychotic episodes. 
6 months ago my psychosis chronified and I got diagnosed with schizophrenia. My symptoms are 
visual hallucinations, delusions (which all got !a lot! better since I began taking risperidone, 
a neuroleptic medication which honestly safed me from the psychotic pits of hell) and various 
cognitive deficits. By the way, what is AVH? I can't answer that questions because I don't know 
what that is. The only thing that I could think of that it means Acustic or visual hallucinations. 
If yes, then I answered that in this post ^^ Oh and I also had some acustic hallucinations, but 
just some distant rambling of people talking. I have to say that sometimes I didn't want to 
tackle the whole tulpa thing because my last psychotic episode (the hallucinations, the delusions and 
my whole perception. It was like a completely other world) scared the shit out of me. But 
now I'm seeing it more like it could become a big help to fight my symptoms. I'm hoping that 
my tulpa can save me if I'm falling into that psychotic hole again since hallucinations should be 
able to battle other hallucinations. Also I hope to never be alone again, depression creates feelings 
of loneliness and despair, which I could actually handle if there was someone with me all the time. 
Also like I wrote in the beginning - I'm unbelievably fascinated with hallucinations and all that 
stuff. I'm planning to learn how to bend my reality completely to my will through hallucinations, 
closed eye visuals, dream-like states and so on. By that I want to put an end to all my pain. 
And last but not least: My broken concentration. Well, that's because of my schizophrenia and 
drug abuse. I took too many drugs (and quite too often) which in a way reduced my memory ability and 
concentration. And schizophrenia is normally accompanied by cognitive losses (called negative symptoms). 
I hope I could satisfy your curiosity and that my english is good enough to understand. 
If you have any more questions, then just ask, I'm very open about my condition.

Edit: I forgot to say, that my visualisation skill is quite good because of my visual hallucinations.
I mean... my first hallucinations already started when I was four years old, that just has to be good for something.

Edit 2: And there's another thing... When my schizophrenia is at 100% my personality kinda changes.
Normally I would describe myself as a kind person which hates brutality and loves piece and harmony.
But when I'm getting fully psychotic I get very vicious and sadistic. It's really mysterious to me, but I have
an idea where that comes from. With the tulpa I hope that I will be able to suppress this because I already
allowed my tulpa to know every single bit of me and maybe I need someone like that to hold me back.
Don't misunderstand, I never hurt a single person and there's no danger that I would - definitely not, because
even in those vicious moments I know in how much trouble I would get and how much guilt I would feel afterwards.
It's just my personality that changes. This aspect of course makes it hard for other people to help me to get out of
my psychosis because understandibly I'm not easy to handle then. But I'm sure my tulpa could be able to...
But well, as long as I take my medication I'm able to suppress it anyway so currently there wouldn't even be
a need for my tulpa to help me with this aspect.
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2018, 11:34 AM by disconnected.)
03-30-2018, 10:59 AM
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Spice Offline
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#9
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

re: wonderlands

I find them very useful! Its a tangible, editable place for you to immerse yourself in, which gets you familiar with using parts of your brain you normally wouldn't. It just feels like daydreaming, but it's a great thing to have.
03-30-2018, 02:42 PM
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solarchariot Offline
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#10
 
RE: I'm not sure if I'm doing it right

So, Disconnected. I like your theory. I am curious if Tulpas can mitigate MH symptoms. (Yes, AVH = auditory and visual hallucinations.) The only down side I see with the theory is that since AVH, whether self induced or not, is a symptom set, and delusions are a symptom set, it could be more difficult sorting symptoms, but even if you have better clarity, outside agencies, doctor, family, might not necessarily concur, which drives the need for an extraordinary preponderance of evidence to validate your subjective experience. I suppose an objective measure could be interfacing with outside agencies. It kind of reminds me of the epiphany the character in 'A Beautiful Mind' has when he tells his wife 'they don't age, they never aged,' referencing the hallucinations that had been with him much of his life.

Definitely keep in touch, and keep writing progress notes. Also, I appreciate your transparency in terms of your background. I certainly didn't expect that in a public forum, but I can certain see an argument that it is healthy to share, but it also says a lot about this particular group in that you feel safe sharing. There are so few places people are safe to really be so candid. Yay you.
04-02-2018, 01:58 PM
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