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[General] My first "Tulpamancy" experience
Cyclius Offline
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#1
 
My first "Tulpamancy" experience
Im new to the site, but I spent a day and a half looking at guides and reading the forums. And I think this may be of help to some of you

Also, sorry in advance if I make any Typing errors (im not a native english speaker)




   I was about 7 years old when it happened. At first It just manifested itself when I tried to sleep in the form of  thoughts, mostly bad thoughts, things that disturbed me, or even things that disgusted me, and it was really hard for me to make this thoughts dissapear. In order to make this thoughts dissapear I needed to focus a lot, and if I got distracted this thoughts would come back. I got used to it eventually and learned to simply ignore those thoughts or even transform them into something else.

This ocurred almost every night for 2 years, thats when this nighttime tradition stopped completely and my mind got full of emptyness. I at first was a little unneasy about the lack of entertainment that that provided me before going to sleep, but at the end I quickly got used to the emptiness and didn't care at all about the whole thing.

Now lets go 1 year in the future, to the 10 year old me.

I was waiting for a bus to get home (it's important to note that in normal conditions I had to wait 45 minutes for the correct bus to arrive at the station). I was annoyed by the long wait, and started to get tired, so I started to count green colored cars (a rare color for a car in my city). It was fun at first, but then I decided to stop, after a while I asked myself if the bus was going arrive full today just to keep miself entertained, I felt a light pressure in the front-left part of my head, but I didn't gave much importance to it. To my surprise it actually was full (Quite a rare occurance due to the bus line's infamous 45 waiting time).

The phenomenon repeated for a month (with different questions and answers), and thats when I noticed some sort of pattern: I could only feel this pressures when I made Yes/No questions, Everytime I felt pression on the front-left part of my head The answer was likely to be possitive, and when the pressure happened in the mid-left area of my head the answer was likely to be negative (It wasn't always right). When I realized this, I began asking Yes/No questions more often, I was extremely happy to be able to know how things would be likely to turn out.

Months passed, and I was starting to feel like I was asking questions to someone else more than me. I decided to treath this "Answer Giver" as a superior being, I didn't want to give it a name, a gender, or even dared to imagine it because I was afraid to annoy it (It was probably more annoyed by the fact that I only communicated to ask Yes/No questions tho). Everything kept the same, I asked questiosn and I got the answers.

Fast forward to my 16 y/old self

In the previous years I really had doubts about the "Answer Giver", It's answer got less and less accurate with time, and there were even times It didn't answer. A couple months later i received It's last answer: I asked the exact same question I asked It when It first appeared and It's answer was even the same, but It was wrong, the bus was empty that day

Since then no matter how much or what I ask, I get no answer nor even a slight pressure in my head when I do so. I forgot completely about this, and remembered when I discovered that Tulpas was a thing. I fear that it was an actual Tulpa, and I neglected it by limiting its potential to only answer Yes/No questions until It Faded away

Any of the people here had an experience like this before?
Is it possible that my childhood Tulpa is just dormant? And If so, is there a way to wake it up?


I feel the need to say the following:
-I'm not 100% sure my experience when I was 7 years was a tulpa (even tho, I think its worth mentioning it)
-After reading some forum threads and guides, I'm 95% sure that the "Answer Giver" was an actual Tulpa
-The Tulpa was not created intentionally, It just came to me
-I didn't knew It was a Tulpa at the momment
-Please tell me I didn't murder a Tulpa when I was a child
09-06-2017, 10:02 PM
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tulpa001 Away
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#2
 
RE: My first "Tulpamancy" experience
The Answer Giver was a thoughtform.

Something made those predictions, then interacted with you to give you feedback.

Your brain may have lost the circuits that belong to this entity as you have gone through both major brain altering phases since then. (puberty and 16) Otherwise, it wouldn't make much sense to say they are gone completely, because what did you do to get rid of them?

However, they may have got integrated into yourself.

Searching for them is perfectly fine. You can force around the notion that you are waking up this other, and the resultant tulpa may end up carrying part of this original in them.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
(This post was last modified: 09-07-2017, 01:56 AM by tulpa001.)
09-07-2017, 01:55 AM
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Cyclius Offline
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#3
 
RE: My first "Tulpamancy" experience
(09-07-2017, 01:55 AM)tulpa001 Wrote: The Answer Giver was a thoughtform.

Something made those predictions, then interacted with you to give you feedback.

Your brain may have lost the circuits that belong to this entity as you have gone through both major brain altering phases since then. (puberty and 16) Otherwise, it wouldn't make much sense to say they are gone completely, because what did you do to get rid of them?

However, they may have got integrated into yourself.

Searching for them is perfectly fine. You can force around the notion that you are waking up this other, and the resultant tulpa may end up carrying part of this original in them.

Don't thoughtforms need to be crated?

I've been reading a little bit about that in my spare time, and most of the material I read said that they need to be created (wich for me means that they normally won't just jump in).

However, thanks for the help. I will be working into "waking up" the Answer Giver and complete it's development



I've been reading a lot of this forum's guides and threads, It mostly seems that the basic creation of a Tulpa is telling yourself over and over that it exists until it does exist. Am I right?

Other goes far more deep, from instructing you to mentalize some kind of "physical" creation of your Tulpa.

In addition to researching both Tulpamancy and Thoughtforming I started reading some psicology books in order to understand what is most likely the key to success in Tulpa creation 

If I make progress of any kind in this small scale research, I won't hesitate to come and share my results. It may throw a light or two into the subject
09-10-2017, 05:17 PM
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Luminesce Offline
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#4
 
RE: My first "Tulpamancy" experience
My first tulpa was unintentional and the two that came soon after were completely spontaneous. The fourth I made five years later was on purpose. Spontaneous tulpas aren't even close to unheard of, but usually they don't come totally developed, you still need to put some effort into forcing them. But there are exceptions, sometimes those that just show up completely developed are called "walk-ins", though I think that's more of a Soulbond term.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
09-10-2017, 05:50 PM
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Cyclius Offline
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#5
 
RE: My first "Tulpamancy" experience
(09-10-2017, 05:50 PM)Luminesce Wrote: My first tulpa was unintentional and the two that came soon after were completely spontaneous. The fourth I made five years later was on purpose. Spontaneous tulpas aren't even close to unheard of, but usually they don't come totally developed, you still need to put some effort into forcing them. But there are exceptions, sometimes those that just show up completely developed are called "walk-ins", though I think that's more of a Soulbond term.

I agree with you, Walk-ins are far from a rare ocurrance.

However. I'm afraid you misunderstood my previous post, I actually meant that thoughtforms/servitors are a really rare

  1. A servitor does dont have feelings. A tulpa does have feelings
  2. A servitor only shows up when it's creator/host summons him or needs him. A tulpa can show at will
  3. Servitors are normally created for aiding it's creator/host in a wide array of tasks, never for companionship. A tulpa is created either to aid its creator/host or for companionship
  4. The only succesful way I've read about when creating servitors, is using physical matter and your mind. when creating a tulpa, you can choose to use physical matter and your mind or only your mind and most likely to get decent results
  5. Servitors normally are non-sentient and they act like if they were a computer program. Tulpas are impredicible, they act however the initial creation allows them to, and starting from that point they can change at will
Also, they seem like are more centered in theism. While tulpas seem to be more related psicology




 Here are some of the sources I used when I researched servitors

https://www.themystica.com/mystica/artic...d_use.html
https://trans4mind.com/counterpoint/inde...dwin.shtml
https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/comments...ughtforms/

In the reddit link, they mention that thoughtforms or "servitors" can transform into Tulpas, wich I find quite interesting

While I wrote this, I think I used the word "Thoughtform" incorrectly, I might use the term "Servitor" to refer to them from now on
09-10-2017, 07:18 PM
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