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jean-luc Offline
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#11
 
RE: Help vampires
I have a bit of philosophy that I like: You can only fix a problem if you blame yourself.

I think we need a big search bar at the top of the site, and I can highly reccomend Google Site Search. It has an easy bit of javascript to insert, and you can configure it to only search certain pages.

And perhaps my original post was a bit too... enthusiastic. I don't think we need to get rid of every single newbie question posted on tulpa.info. But I do think we need to decimate them. It's the quantity that is the problem, not the questions themselves.

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03-23-2016, 03:39 PM
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Sock Offline
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#12
 
RE: Help vampires
(03-23-2016, 09:41 AM)J.Iscariot Wrote: *They want to express what their tulpa is doing, they want to show the world what their tulpa can do because idontknow.

This comment won't be too in-depth, but I feel the above line sparked a thought in me about the subject of talking about one's tulpa on the message board about tulpa.

I think one of the odd bits about this community is it's odd relationship and views about it's own subject. The site is about internal, intelligent constructs (To use the dryest and most reductionist terms) that are often employed as companions...but I've also noticed strong sentiments of people getting annoyed and grumpy when people do go out of their way to share them. Now, things have been less like that recently as noted by Tewi here, but it's a sort of idea/feeling that still seems to stick around these parts, as it was a sentiment that's been around seemingly from the get-go. The result, I think, is that the site and it's conversation ends up turning from it's actual subject...to it being about itself, as illustrated by meta-threads.

Sometimes, it really does feel like folks talk more about the concept of a tulpa, than about actually having one. Part of it seems to be fueled by fear, another part seems to be fueled by a desire for respectability, etc.

Just a sudden splash of an idea I wanted to get out before it went poof, or stuck itself in the back of my head.

As for newbies: I will admit, sometimes it seems like some folks want to have their hand held all the way through the process. Being that I feel a major part of tulpa making is self-discovery and observation, it really feels no good to see folks who are unwilling to even peek inside themselves enough to learn the most basic of skills needed. That's one thing that really does seem off when thinking back to the community's origins: Folks then were far more willing to try and figure stuff out on their own, and were pretty patient to boot, all things considered. Now folks can't seem to parse the most basic of concepts, nor do they seem even willing to look up ways to improve their mental fortitude. The focus seems to be more on results, and more people want to have a quick fix for their issues.

Unfortunately, I can't say I have the solution to this sort of problem, though I think a PM with resources and useful tips is pretty neat, and I'd be fully behind it. It also give me an excuse to throw these audiobooks at more people. Being frank, a chunk of the questions I've seen some newbies post can be answered in them. They really are good books.

Maybe a set of off-site resources for general mental strength building would be nice. I'm sure many peeps here have a few sites that aren't directly related to tulpa making, but provide very useful concepts and exercises that can be extended to making tulpa creation smoother and more effective.
(This post was last modified: 03-23-2016, 03:45 PM by Sock.)
03-23-2016, 03:40 PM
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J.Iscariot Offline
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#13
 
RE: Help vampires
I think that the experience itself affects how much, or rather, how lenient the tulpamancer is to discussing them. If the experience itself is something that rarely occurs, or if it is something the tulpamancer does not see or perceive often, then of course, they're going to be hyped and happy about it and feel like 'sharing it' with other people, because that's how us human beings function, acting dependent on others like that, there is a certain type of satisfaction that is issued from having others hearing you out, reading your stuff... but, would that joy still be there if there was someone constantly supplying this type of attention? Or rather, would that joy still be as ample and intense if it became something integrated in one's routine? An example would be how I don't feel like talking about my tulpa at all because, to me at least, I regard her as a person; you don't blog about a person you are very much used to except if you have more lenience to express your life on the internet. It's also how you perceive the information you would end up posting... everything that occurs with my tulpa is something intimate and privately personal, I can't possibly post the stuff she says or does because they would look childish, perhaps too cute in an overboard manner.

You also have people who don't express that stuff exclusively, but express everything openly. Like, those people who have a blog for everything and think that people actually like reading their stuff; whether people do like it or not, those people don't keep in mind this factor, but post everything and anything that comes their way.

I have a person in my head. Why on earth would I share someone's private life on the internet? Like, isn't that violating their privacy and right to keep what happens in their lives to themselves? In my tulpa's case, she has a lot that must be kept intimate, because when we DID express how hard life was for her, we got shit in our faces, literally, and that made me sad for her, so there's absolutely no reason for me out of all people to post about it as if it were something cool.
Someone lives in your head, and has their private life, it doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about them... but having a tulpa isn't about blogging or posting about it on tulpa.info. People come here to learn and progress with their tulpas, I'm speaking of beginners. Sure, hearing about other people and their experiences can help... but do you guys realize that this is an actual person, living in your head, and that blogging about them would be just like exposing literally every detail that goes on their lives? I mean, how would you feel if you had someone blog about literally everything you were doing? Even better, have the concept of your existence associated with sweaty dudes on the internet you don't even know, with people you don't know and hold no sympathy for....

I'm posting this because I noticed this mentality being talked about more and more these days, in other posts as well. People wondering about why people like me don't post about their tulpas. Truth is that even if I didn't get a splash of shit in my face when I tried, I still would not have done it on a regular basis. No offense but have some respect for people if you want to be respected, respect the privacy of the people in your head if you care that much. Of course that can be something completely relative but think about it in a realistic scenario with someone who has their own life to themselves and don't really feel comfortable sharing that stuff with complete strangers. Strangers can also be deceiving, manipulative and heartless, so if you let the wrong people in your companion's heart, a lot can happen, psychologically. Often this type of blogging leads to the transformation of tulpas to mere roleplay tools or tools for social acceptance on puny IRC chats. What a downfall.
03-23-2016, 06:27 PM
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Joss Offline
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#14
 
RE: Help vampires
Okay. Obviously, I'm relatively new to this forum, so maybe I'm missing something here, but...

Isn't all this just the basic nature of a forum?

My host's been a longterm regular on a number of forums, and the "repeat questions/help vampires" problem is pretty much just a thing that happens, no matter what the topic of the board is supposed to be. Newbies come on and ask the same questions that are already outlined in the FAQs, and the oldbies get sick of seeing the same "stupid" questions again and again ("stupid" is in quotes because they're usually the questions that only seem stupid if you already know the answer). On one of the other boards my host is currently active on, she has a word document full of stock responses that she copy-pastes into these repeat threads. Usually has to do so at least once a month. It's just part of being a regular on a board that has any newbie traffic at all.

Sure, tulpa.info could probably use some user-friendly upgrades like Tewi mentioned, but most of the things in jean-luc's original post seem like pretty standard problems that occur in most forums. Tulpa.info oldbies probably just feel it particularly keenly because there are so few of them to carry the weight.

~ Member of SparrowNR's System ~
(This post was last modified: 03-23-2016, 07:28 PM by Joss.)
03-23-2016, 07:27 PM
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jean-luc Offline
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#15
 
RE: Help vampires
It will always be there, but the thing I am worried about is the quantity. Surely it isn't as bad on other forums right? Riight?

Host: Jean-luc (plain-colored text)
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Ain't that just fantitiliantastic!
I host a podcast called Tulpaudcast.
and ramble crazily about everything while walking on Jean-luc walking.
03-23-2016, 10:37 PM
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Tewi Offline
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#16
 
RE: Help vampires
Oh it's much worse on many other forums. We just have high standards, which is fine.

Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.
All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.
Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
03-23-2016, 11:17 PM
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Sock Offline
Within a flower garden

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#17
 
RE: Help vampires
(03-23-2016, 06:27 PM)J.Iscariot Wrote: I think that the experience itself affects how much, or rather, how lenient the tulpamancer is to discussing them. If the experience itself is something that rarely occurs, or if it is something the tulpamancer does not see or perceive often, then of course, they're going to be hyped and happy about it and feel like 'sharing it' with other people, because that's how us human beings function, acting dependent on others like that, there is a certain type of satisfaction that is issued from having others hearing you out, reading your stuff... but, would that joy still be there if there was someone constantly supplying this type of attention? Or rather, would that joy still be as ample and intense if it became something integrated in one's routine? An example would be how I don't feel like talking about my tulpa at all because, to me at least, I regard her as a person; you don't blog about a person you are very much used to except if you have more lenience to express your life on the internet. It's also how you perceive the information you would end up posting... everything that occurs with my tulpa is something intimate and privately personal, I can't possibly post the stuff she says or does because they would look childish, perhaps too cute in an overboard manner.

~Snip to keep the post from getting too large and intimidating~

That's totally understandable, actually. I can get where you're coming from, and see your point there.

I guess my concern are those who would go out of their way to get irrationally angry about someone else talking about their tulpa, even when the conversation is within reason and not just putting the most private parts of that person's life on display (For example, there's a reason why you haven't seen much mention of Homura despite her being one of my anchors). I think some freedom to share things that aren't simply the most dry elements would do some good, and end up unearthing details that would be potentially important to the collection of more information and experience.

At the same time, it is off-putting when people pretty much air out every minute detail of their mental life, and play out what can only be described as impromptu soap operas, showing a lack of self-control, and self-awareness. This, though, is something that happens even without the factor of a tulpa, it's just that the subject of tulpa is especially vulnerable to such things. This lack of sobriety is a pox anywhere, and especially when regarding something so niche.

I think what my desire is is for there to be a better balance of it. I think some personal element of the experience does provide important information that would otherwise be lost (Like how I think going in to some detail about, say, a work of art adds dimension for the viewer, and can potentially increase the enjoyment of it). Being too paranoid about going beyond the conversation of tulpa as an idea can be rather harmful as it keeps the group from sticking together, and can potentially promote stagnation in areas, which is something I feel has been a major problem with the site. But do not get me wrong, I don't want to see the regular episodes of "The Young and the Mental Construct", where people constantly whine about seemingly minor shake-ups, secret tulpa that just so happens to resemble that person's favorite character pop up and push the host's earlier work down a conveniently effective elevator shaft, or one host stealing another host's tulpa because psychic powers.
(This post was last modified: 03-23-2016, 11:51 PM by Sock.)
03-23-2016, 11:46 PM
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Ayre Offline
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#18
 
RE: Help vampires
Good post, Jean-luc. This is something I have defiantly seen in other parts of the community (mainly IRC, and /r/tulpas), but haven't been around here as much to see it. I know it's bad on reddit, but I think that has to do with the lack of subsections of subreddits on that site. Everything gets dumped into one big pile. And IRC has been slowing limping along for over a year at this point, you'll be hard pressed to find very many newbie questions there, at least during the hours that we are normally online. I guess what I am trying to say is that I would rather see too many newbie questions than no questions.

This is a site that is oriented towards the actual creation process of having a tulpa, it's supposed to be swarming with newbies. Places like this are going to attract help vampires by nature. Now, there is not much I can add to this conversation that hasn't already been said. I do like the ideas presented, PMs, FAQ that links to threads, google toolbar at the top, etc etc you've already read them.

I think the heart of the problem here lies with what Tewi has mentioned. We need more of the experienced members to stick around. It seems that you can either ask for help, give help, or play forum games on this site. Someone like me that asked all my questions on other sites had no place here for a long time. I never have cared much for forum games, and I haven’t really felt experienced enough to start answering until recently.

I’m afraid that I’m not going to be able to offer many solutions here. We could post more about our tulpas, but I have to agree with J.Iscariot about that. It seems to me like someone posting about their best friend constantly is just plain boring to anyone not personally involved and maybe a little weird.

Host: Ayre
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03-24-2016, 12:23 AM
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Kiahdaj Offline
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#19
 
RE: Help vampires
The general consensus among the staff is that the wiki sucks, so I have included a link to the FAQ in the header of all themes.

"If this can be avoided, it should. If it can't, then it would be better if it could be. If it happened and you're thinking back to it, try and think back further. Try not to avoid it with your mind. If any of this is possible, it may be helpful. If not, it won't be."
03-24-2016, 02:46 AM
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jean-luc Offline
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#20
 
RE: Help vampires
I would love a good wiki.

Host: Jean-luc (plain-colored text)
Tulpas: Snow & Henry
Choose your tulpas' colors here!
Click here if you'd like a changing avatar like mine!
Ain't that just fantitiliantastic!
I host a podcast called Tulpaudcast.
and ramble crazily about everything while walking on Jean-luc walking.
03-24-2016, 04:28 AM
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