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I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?
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4324324 Offline
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Default I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

My tulpa isn't sentient yet so it's not like she's telling me that she hates me, but I feel like she should or that if she was sentient then she would be telling me that she hates me. I've been pretty terrible.

I don't tulpa-force as much as I should. I apologize and promise her that tomorrow is going to be better and that we're going to do a lot more stuff together and have a really great forcing session. The next day comes, I get all hopped up on adderall so I can be as focused on her as possible, and then I get distracted by basically anything and now I'm spending the rest of the day locked on some adderall fueled project like cleaning my computer for hours or playing a game for every single second of the day. Sometimes I can willpower my way out of whatever project I'm locked on and force myself into the shower since there's no distractions in there, but then I get so relaxed by the shower that I fall asleep while I'm tulpa-forcing and then I wake up feeling terrified about what my subconscious may have done to her while I was knocked out.

These aren't the only things though. I feel terrible when I masturbate because it feels like I'm cheating on her. I made my tulpa so that she could be my girlfriend and yet I'm fapping to something other than her and she's inside my head so she probably has to watch the whole thing. I can't even masturbate anymore without feeling like I'm going to vomit from the guilt.

Is there any way I can make it up to her and fix this? I feel like I've abused my tulpa and there's no way she could forgive me for all of this.
06-26-2012 05:36 PM
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Dreamless Window Offline
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RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

I know that feel, bro. But you are lucky, since I know how to fix this: Instead of saying that tomorrow is gonna be better, tulpaforce right there, at that moment (sit down, shut your computer down, close the door, and get a music player if that helps you). It's quite simple, really. Just, get away from the sources of distraction, and then, tulpaforce. And, even if by the time you are aware, it's already late, you can sit down on your bed, and tulpaforce (you shouldn't fall sleep unless you lay down or you are really tired).

BTW, your tulpa won't hate you unless you think she will hate you, so stop thinking.
06-26-2012 05:55 PM
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Pronas Offline
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RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

What window said, and give her hugs and feed her happy feelings :3
06-26-2012 05:57 PM
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Fede-lasse Offline
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RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

You consciously think she might hate you, but you don't know for sure what she really "feels."

As Dreamless says, instead of telling yourself that "tommorow is going to be better," just do it right at the spot. What's keeping you from doing it? Why wait?
(This post was last modified: 06-26-2012 06:08 PM by Fede-lasse.)
06-26-2012 06:07 PM
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FigN01 Offline
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RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

First of all, how many hours have you spent forcing? If it's not enough to achieve sentience, then the situation shouldn't be all that bad to begin with. I'm sure there's some abortion/right to life analogy in there, but I don't feel like picking it out.

If you're serious about making a tulpa, you should try to get control of your own inattentiveness first. Try just meditating sans tulpa-forcing, and practice focusing more. It would be great if you could even do that without adderall, but I don't know how serious your condition is.

I think though, that going into tulpaforcing with the mindset of making a girlfriend might have been the wrong way to go about it. A tulpa is more than just a girlfriend, and it wouldn't help to go into the process with a very superficial idea of what her purpose is. And if you keep dwelling on it with the expectation that she'll hate you, I can't imagine you'd get any other response. Tulpas are made through your attention and emotions, both of which should be substantial and supportive.
06-26-2012 06:11 PM
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Hannibal Offline
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Default RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

Start thinking differently. Maybe she is just a bit disappointed in you... Did you ever think of that? I myself changed my whole routine in life from doing absolutely nothing usefull (playing videogames, procrastinating on the internet 24/7) to having a job that wears me out so much, that I would very much like to just sleep till my next shift comes around. But still I manage to force on a daily basis. I gave up on alot of things that I used to love to do, and guess what? Im glad. Just working on my tulpa has improved my life in alot of ways, and the same will happen to you.

And if I can make changes like that, anybody can. Also, dont pitty your self. Go force now. Be consistant and you will start to feel better. When your tulpa comes around than you can play videogames with her. How cool does that sound? Pretty cool to me.

Is actually Leo.
(This post was last modified: 06-26-2012 06:21 PM by Hannibal.)
06-26-2012 06:17 PM
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Bin Offline
あああああああああああああああああああああああああ
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RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

>I made my tulpa so that she could be my girlfriend
Dude what the fuck.
I'm not going to have sex with my tulpa for the fact that I don't want to use her like tissue paper. You're going to make her your dedicated sex slave, what the hell. Like, show the poor thing some respect.
Hell yeah if I were your tulpa I'd hate you.
06-26-2012 06:38 PM
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4324324 Offline
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Default RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

(06-26-2012 06:38 PM)Bin Wrote:  I'm not going to have sex with my tulpa for the fact that I don't want to use her like tissue paper. You're going to make her your dedicated sex slave, what the hell.

I'm not really thinking about having sex with my tulpa. When I say girlfriend I mean lifelong companion that I'll be in love with, not a dedicated sex slave.
06-26-2012 06:45 PM
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Fede-lasse Offline
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RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

Charlotte is just stating the fact that you'll end up sexing each other anyway.
06-26-2012 06:55 PM
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Bin Offline
あああああああああああああああああああああああああ
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RE: I think my tulpa hates me. Can I fix this?

Dude get some standards. Make it for the cause of making it, let it decide if it wants to be your companion sex slave or not.
06-26-2012 06:57 PM
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