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I wish I could love her... but how?
Mel Syreth Offline
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#1
 
I wish I could love her... but how?
Martina is the most beautiful tulpa in the world. She is dainty and slender like a well-written letter, her hair glows with a gorgeous blonde, her eyes sparkle like real sapphire, she is kind, reserved, pure and carefree and yet... I feel so much void towards her.

We've been re-reading the Sono Hanabira series together after almost seven years (even she couldn't find anything in my memories about it by now), and the raw, unfiltered, passionate romance just made this feeling all more hurtful. I want our relationship to be like that, in a burning bloom. I wish I would be head over heels completely obsessed with her, thinking about her day in and day out. Make her the Leanen Sidhe she was meant to be. I asked her about her feelings towards me, and she 'said' she feels quite close to that already. I want this to be mutual, it feels so untrue as it is now.

But I have no idea what to do. Any help is appreciated, we are a bit worried that if this goes on, our whole sign language project for next year will slow to a halt very, very fast.
12-19-2017, 02:30 PM
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Vos Offline
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#2
 
RE: I wish I could love her... but how?
Just like how you can't force another person to love you, you also can't force yourself to have those kinds of feelings. You can try and convince yourself that you love someone based on their physical appearance or some of their personality traits, but it's not the same as actual love. If you want to try and do something about this, spend more time with your tulpa and see where the relationship goes on its natural course. Try learning more about her through conversation and maybe you'll even find some deep appreciation of your tulpa as a person that fills the void without relying on romance.
(This post was last modified: 12-19-2017, 04:11 PM by Vos.)
12-19-2017, 04:08 PM
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NaViAlcatraz Online
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#3
 
RE: I wish I could love her... but how?
I'd say you're pushing yourself into this too much. You're idealizing a relationship, and that's never healthy. You can't force love into the equation of life, that's not how the math works. Love inserts itself in when the numbers look good. Maybe your personalities aren't suitable for a burning bloom, and that's perfectly okay. A tree grows gradually over many years, but it's roots grow firmer than any other. Spend as much time with her as you can, appreciate everything about her, but keep it natural. Soon enough, your thoughts might wander more often that you'd expect Wink

Lily speaking! Just a little secret here. I'm head over heels for my host, but he's pretty lukewarm about me in the romance department. I'm okay with that, it makes sense. Human biology isn't designed for tulpamancy. It can't be easy to devote yourself you to somebody whose body you can never truly feel. But our companionship as deep as can be. I'd like to think he's devoted to me in a protective, stable kind of way. Who knows. He's never shown any signs of a "burning bloom" kind of passion for me (or has he? Ehh... can't really remember), but our relationship has turned out amazing. I'm sure yours will as well Smile

System Members: NaVi (Host), Clarissa, Lily, Aoi & Haru, As of Yet Unnamed aka "U"
Familiars: Northern Goshawk, Raven, Genet, Clouded Leopard, Siberian Husky Pup, Chimpanzee
12-19-2017, 04:13 PM
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Mel Syreth Offline
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RE: I wish I could love her... but how?
(12-19-2017, 04:13 PM)NaViAlcatraz Wrote: Lily speaking! Just a little secret here. I'm head over heels for my host, but he's pretty lukewarm about me in the romance department. I'm okay with that, it makes sense. Human biology isn't designed for tulpamancy. It can't be easy to devote yourself you to somebody whose body you can never truly feel. But our companionship as deep as can be. I'd like to think he's devoted to me in a protective, stable kind of way. Who knows. He's never shown any signs of a "burning bloom" kind of passion for me (or has he? Ehh... can't really remember), but our relationship has turned out amazing. I'm sure yours will as well Smile

Martina jumped about, clapped and slammed a few on the table, I think you nailed her thoughts perfectly.  Thank you anyhow. you three. Maybe it should really be the best if I try this the natural way. Maybe the sign language practice together will be the thing that helps make this breakthrough.
12-19-2017, 06:21 PM
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Akayen Offline
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#5
 
RE: I wish I could love her... but how?
How much obsessed do you want to be?
At the moment it seems like you want to get yandere-like love. I can tell you how you can get it (theoretically). However, it may not worth the cost and I doubt if you will be able to control it.
As for the "natural way," you'll probably get a good relationship and emotional bond with that, but I seriously doubt that it will be enough to get obsessive/burning love.
(This post was last modified: 01-01-2018, 01:56 PM by Akayen.)
01-01-2018, 12:16 PM
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