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Is my tulpa influencing my feelings?
#1
I have symptoms of hypersomnia and often fall asleep while forcing. It hasn’t been a problem for me until now. About two weeks ago I fell asleep while forcing and when I woke up, I felt really angry at myself and it was a really weird feeling. Could this be my tulpa?

I talked to him next day and suddenly asked ”How are you?”. It didn’t feel alien but I didn’t plan asking how he is. Could this be him? It felt like my thoughts wandering but my thoughts usually don’t wander like this.

I haven’t heard anything about him after that and I’m kind of scared that he’s mad at me because I fell asleep.
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#2
It could definitely be a result of you attempting to hear foreign thoughts, though saying it "is your tulpa" is probably not quite correct, it could be a sign that you are making progress with your tulpa's development, yes.

And no, your tulpa won't get mad at you for something like that. Always found it so weird when people jumped to the conclusion their tulpas were mad at them pre-vocality. Even if your tulpa was annoyed/upset you fell asleep, it wouldn't be a particularly strong feeling. And if a tulpa really cared a forcing session was cut short, they would never protest by refusing to interact/be active, another strange idea people get. Not only is that counterproductive to the very value required to cause it, but from basically all cases I've seen (and that's a lot), tulpas really like getting attention and also like being able to communicate.

I think anyone would do well to believe their tulpa always wants to say something when the host is trying to hear from them. Believing that there's someone there trying to communicate with you really helps with the basic concept of tulpa creation, ie teaching your brain to have another person aside from yourself in your head.
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
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#3
My opinions on all this are very different to Luminesce.

Not all tulpas are the same and they can have various personalities, there HAS been negative tulpas created and hence why the metaphysical field who have been into tulpas much longer than this community often does warnings on these (the tibetian tulpa makers and others before all this went online, understood there could be issues). People in this forum tend to try to think of tulpas as always being nice but that is not always the case.. things CAN go wrong, Ive seen them go wrong in some ways even with people not into metaphysics eg there was one poor girl who had a not nice tulpa who used to threaten her.. she'd wake up and see her tulpa standing over her with a knife (this was someone from these forums way back in the past, her tulpa ended up like stalking her.

You say you were feeling angry and that it was a very weird feeling, well if it wasn't you, it is quite likely to have been your tulpa.

Tulpas too can be getting feelings on things before they become vocal and one person may feel a tulpas feelings stronger than another person. How one experiences their tulpa can be a quite individual thing eg for me my first tulpa started talking clearly as if from outside myself from right at the start (thou that wasnt at all the case for my next tulpa).

You need to try to judge yourself what may be your tulpa and what may not be as no one else can tell you this. Any emotion a human can feel, a tulpa could feel it too. Forcing sessions are quite important for a tulpas existance esp at first.. so I can understand how one could get upset at that being cut short. Jesse my tulpa, he really had a fear about not existing any more (a death fear), I ended up trying to focus on him having brave qualities to get him over this.
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 
Working on imposition
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#4
Waking up angry at yourself could easily be a product of your own disappointment in yourself for falling asleep. Alien feelings could be a product of disorientation from waking up. And now guilt is holding you back from forcing. It's best to not overthink things. If you keep forcing steadily until your tulpa's vocality improves, you'll be able to get confirmation or denial of weird and ambiguous stuff. Negative emotions that can't be confirmed are better disregarded. A lot of the time, they are just intrusive thoughts, which are mainly generated by your fears. They can be fought, they can be defeated, and then they will fade away.

I agree with Lumi. I've never heard of a tulpa going off in a snit because of not getting attention. Tulpas who want attention do their best to be present.

Tulpas made using the methods of this community are overwhelmingly loyal and loving. The culture here respects tulpa personhood and freedom of choice and regards tulpas as life companions instead of disposable tools. This encourages the growth of friendlier headmates than those of older and less nurturing communities that have tried to work with similar headmates.

And, yeah, headmates can get angry at you, like friends and family and roommates and conjoined twins can get mad at you. Vesper has been furious with me a bunch of times. But when you live with someone, you work things out, because it's important.

Regarding your hypersomnia -- can you force standing up? Eyes open? Walking around? Talking out loud? In a brightly lit room? Some people do just fine forcing quietly in bed in the dark at the end of the day, but not everyone can stay awake. Tons of tulpamancers have fallen asleep forcing and it's rarely ever been a big deal.

-Ember
Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]
Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017
Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Unseelie Court, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit
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#5
Thanks for your answers!! I try to stay positive and hope I hear something from my tulpa soon.

(12-01-2019, 11:49 AM)Ember.Vesper Wrote: Regarding your hypersomnia -- can you force standing up? Eyes open? Walking around? Talking out loud? In a brightly lit room? Some people do just fine forcing quietly in bed in the dark at the end of the day, but not everyone can stay awake. Tons of tulpamancers have fallen asleep forcing and it's rarely ever been a big deal.

I sometimes try forcing eyes open but I have problems with concentration and that doesn't really work for me. And when I force eyes closed I usually have lights on and listen white noice (loud) but that doesn't prevent me from falling asleep eventually. Talking out loud has always made me feel a little stupid but I guess I should try it again.
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#6
It's up to your preference of course, but I feel like white noise would make it easier to fall asleep personally. If you can't focus with music or silence it's fine, but I dunno. Noise machines are used pretty frequently to help people sleep. (I do everything tulpa-related without any noise at all)
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
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#7
Yeah, I know, but I believe that white noice can also help people concentrate.
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#8
It can, but given your situation I just figured the risk of lulling you to sleep might not be worth it
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
Reply
#9
(12-01-2019, 05:30 PM)Juvia Wrote: Thanks for your answers!! I try to stay positive and hope I hear something from my tulpa soon.


I sometimes try forcing eyes open but I have problems with concentration and that doesn't really work for me. And when I force eyes closed I usually have lights on and listen white noice (loud) but that doesn't prevent me from falling asleep eventually. Talking out loud has always made me feel a little stupid but I guess I should try it again.


As I have severe ME/CFS I have a lot of trouble staying awake while quiet (for me white noise would very quickly put me to sleep).. u could try doing what I do.. I use music and sing to my tulpa out loud while forcing.  It's got the bonus of one not feeling stupid either.. it's far easier to sing to a tulpa than talk to it.  (if doing something like that keep asking tulpa to try to sing along so you can hopefully at some point get a response).
Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 
Working on imposition
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#10
(12-02-2019, 12:22 AM)tania Wrote: As I have severe ME/CFS I have a lot of trouble staying awake while quiet (for me white noise would very quickly put me to sleep).. u could try doing what I do.. I use music and sing to my tulpa out loud while forcing.  It's got the bonus of one not feeling stupid either.. it's far easier to sing to a tulpa than talk to it.  (if doing something like that keep asking tulpa to try to sing along so you can hopefully at some point get a response).

I should probably try this.

I also tried forcing without white noice last night and this morning and I think I got a response from my tulpa both times. At least I got some weird feeling in my head.

I'm not sure if white noice could affect how I hear my tulpas responses, but it might have helped me to hear them better.
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