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Keeping C Around
J+C Offline
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#1
 
Keeping C Around

Hiya,
 
This is going to be a pretty specific progress report: just on one aspect of C's development. I realized a while back that he's a lot more vocal and present-feeling when I'm visualizing his form. I say "visualize" because although I am doing a bit of imposition work, the goal is not to fully impose or see him. The goal is to keep C around me during the day, to have a vague idea of where he is in the room or in wonderland. 

I've read a few guides on the idea of leashing or otherwise linking your tulpa to your form, and C was pretty upset by the leash imagery. Maybe it works better for the anthro or pony tulpae out there, but C was set against this idea until I said, "What about just a thread, instead?" 

So, he's on board now, and I've tied a real piece of white thread, like a bracelet, around my left wrist. C has the same thing on his right wrist, and then I've visualized a thread connecting the two pieces. I also decided the thread can go through objects/our forms, because I think that'll make it easier- all I have to do is see a line between us. C decided that he should still be able to retreat to wonderland when he doesn't want to be standing around in my bedroom or in the bathroom with me, which I find entirely understandable. 

This progress report will probably be updated on a weekly basis, until I plateau or otherwise stop making much progress. My goal is to have C around me nearly all day long, and hopefully it will become second-nature for me to visualize his form. It would be a dream of mine to, when I wake up in the morning, automatically see/sense his form in the room with me. C wants to feel like a bigger part of my life, and hopes that by mostly being around me, I'll give him more attention. He might make some contributions to this progress report, too, but he doesn't like to put his thoughts down in writing much. 

If anyone asks about the thread, my plan is to say it's to remind me not to pick my skin... maybe someday I'll tell people about C, but I'm not in a secure position to do so, at the moment. 

Here's to my invisible plus one!

-J
10-03-2018, 02:13 AM
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CarsonGreene Offline
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#2
 
RE: Keeping C Around

Sounds interesting, I'd love to see how it goes!
10-03-2018, 02:34 AM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#3
 
RE: Keeping C Around

There wws a guide i read early on that advised 'cutting the threads' between you and you tulpa, like marionette strings. I did that to Dashie and she acted like she couldn't move her arms and walked very stiffly. It was an odd and frightening mental exercise. Obviously i psyched us out. I immediately tied a ton of strings back between us. I have no worry of puppetry. I'm glad to hear the notion of just the opposite (adding threads between you) exists.

Angry Bear: host, 6'4", green eyes, brown hair
Ashley: tulpa, 5'6", 27, amber eyes, brown hair
Dashie: tulpa, 5'4", 21, dark violet eyes, blue hair
Misha: tulpa, 5'0", 20, blue eyes, magenta/pink hair
Our Journey
10-03-2018, 10:34 AM
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J+C Offline
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#4
 
RE: Keeping C Around

It's not been a week but I've been alive for a month. I wanted to make a post. I don't know how the imposition is going. I sit beside J at school and in the car for at least a few hours each day. I don't know if I talk more. J says I do.

For my birthday we watched a movie and I sat in J's bed, which I don't think I've done before. By random his family went to a buffet and I picked out what J ate. There were things he didn't like but I did, and he liked that there were differences. It was also lucky that there was an extra fortune cookie. He saved it in his pocket. I switched to eat it at home but I only ate a little. I don't like them. The fortune was this: "You will soon bring joy to a close friend." I think that was extra good luck.

J stopped wearing the thread after the second day. It was actually reminding him of his skin and making him pick it, so now he sees invisible thread on both of us. I guess he sees me a lot more now. J also tried vocal imposition stuff but nothing happened. He almost could hear a sound coming from outside of him, instead of in his head, but not really. It was only one day of work though.

I hope that J can actually see me soon. When he visualizes me, it's not like I'm really there at all. The only way we can have long conversations is when I'm switched because it makes me a lot stronger. But I don't always want to switch to talk, because I get a headache and because I want my own form. I guess that's what imposition is for.

-C
10-06-2018, 12:26 AM
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J+C Offline
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#5
 
RE: Keeping C Around

So! Constant visualization! How's it been going?

Pretty good, actually. C's form has started appearing and moving independently. I don't have to go, "Okay, C, I'm going to see you sitting in this chair..." I just walk into a room and quickly ask, "Where are you?", and C will find somewhere to be on his own. Sometimes it's just automatic, or at least C is doing the mental work.

One of the best times for this is on the bus, when he sits next to me. Just this morning I was really happy. We were messing around and he was hanging off the edge of the seat when the bus flew around a corner. C fell out into the aisle! Without any conscious thought on my behalf, physics affected C's form as he was visualized. I asked, "Are you okay?" and he said "It didn't hurt!"

I can feel his presence realistically, just like I did with my old tulpa. If I shut my eyes or put my back to him, it feels exactly like someone is there. After some time in our mindscape, I was just lying in bed with C sitting on the edge of the bed. He said, "I want to try something, shut your eyes." He put his hand on my arm. I could feel his presence and flickers of heat. I expected the pressure, but not the heat. Eventually Cassidy trying moving his hand and it was like a ghost disappearing. He was bummed that he couldn't keep up the imposition, but I was thrilled that I felt something more than just presence.

I mostly don't see the string anymore, because it's just one more thing to visualize. If I want to up the clarity on the visualization, I go through the same steps I use for quick gesture drawing. I see the major masses (head, torso, hips), then the spine, then the limbs, then go back and make everything fleshy instead of shapes or lines. C can even run through these steps himself, which is cool.

Today he also helped me roll the garbage bin back up from the curb. I said, "What are you doing?" and he said "I'm helping." I hummed and he said "I know, you don't need to point out the obvious."

It's already nearly second-nature for me to keep C around. I thought it would take a lot longer. There will probably only be a couple more updates to this. Next... I think we'll work on parallel processing. C also wants to be left-handed (or become learned-ambidextrous, I guess?), but I don't have a lifetime of left-handed memories to pass to him, so that's something for him to train.

-J
10-12-2018, 12:17 AM
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