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Kimiko (ShyGuy65)


ShyGuy65

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This is the log for the creation of my Tulpa. Since I am a faggot the little girl, I'll be doing less explanations and more lists. Or maybe lists of explanations. Or maybe just rattling on forever.

 

My intended tulpa is tentatively named Kimiko. In Moonspeak, Kimiko means upright, or righteous. Not because she'll be significantly more moral than me, but because she'll act as a kick in the pants for motivation and organization.

 

She will be a humanoid mass of nanobots because sci-fi makes me moist. I will be experimenting with my subconscious, wonderland physics/rules, out-of-body experiences, lucid dreaming, time perception, pain masking, possession, tulpa powers/illusion, and more.

 

Image guide: here. I can't decide on top or bottom. Cel-shading-like cartoon appearance preferred, seems easier to visualize and easier to use the reference.

 

My next steps are to visualize the wonderland effectively enough to make a persistent tulpa symbol in my subconscious, experiment with out-of-body experiences to possibly visualize more effectively, and to start configuring the personality (re: narrating). There will be computers and needless technological complications involved (because sci-fi makes me moist).

 

Personality details here. Pretend there's no BBCode.

 

There's no real reason why you should want to read this, I'm just too stupid to use local storage.

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I agree. There seems to be a lot to keep on top of there.

"What did you do today?" "Oh, you know, got called a hater by a schizophrenic's marijuana-fueled wolf hallucination." "Righteous!"

 

I call her Philos. My BLOG is updated daily.

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Yes it is. I figured it was more thorough than picking through a list of traits. It seems to get more of the general ideas and thought processes across than specific behaviors. I might ignore what I put for likes. I'm definitely going to allow deviation, but this is mostly what I want in her.

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Fair enough. My method is establish a realtively simple baseline, and let the quirks work themself out.

"What did you do today?" "Oh, you know, got called a hater by a schizophrenic's marijuana-fueled wolf hallucination." "Righteous!"

 

I call her Philos. My BLOG is updated daily.

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Okay. Last night I worked on visualizing my wonderland again, and forced personality for about an hour. I went over all of the general or strong traits, and I'm going to continue going over them for the next few sessions.

 

I had a bit of an issue with visualization. My view kept switching to third person or stuttering out of my head. Third person seemed to be easier to sustain actually. I asked about this on the irc, and I was told that staying in first person would improve my vividity and immersion, although third-person might be okay. I'm not going to experiment with this, as I want to keep a consistent set of rules for my wonderland.

 

Speaking of which: I will describe my wonderland now. It's a small rectangular room on a big Mass Effect-like spaceship, drifting through a void. The spaceship wasn't important, but my mind wanted to give the room context for some reason. There are no doors, and I don't know what color it is. Very bland. There are three objects in the room.

 

The first is a bed in the middle. That's where my wonderland body rests when I'm controlling my real body. I want to establish this as a subconscious connection, so that my tulpa can completely possess my body by inhabiting the bed in the wonderland. When I start imposition I'm going to make another bed.

 

The second is a complex doohicky on the right wall. It's a "computer terminal" with three tubes. One tube is small and pneumatic. It's a psiball delivery system or whatever. I got my tulpasoul from it. There are two big tubes designed to fit human bodies on either side, filled with a neutral oxygenated liquid. Kimiko's tulpasoul is floating in the middle of the tube. The terminal will be used to create nanobots and configure them to act like biological matter.

 

The last one is another doohicky on the left wall. It's my subconscious access matrix. There are three mobile pods up high, and one large central pod resting on the base. When you use it to access the subconscious, it picks you up by your arms and head, and spins you into the central pod. I used it to name Kimiko's tulpasoul and do an introductory process to attach sentience to it.

 

I'm going to force now. There'll be another post in a few hours. I'm going to go over general personality again and then start dipping into facets.

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I forced for about an hour. There was an interruption in the middle, but it totaled about an hour. I changed the bed to a sleeping pod... thing. Added a desk with a pencil and lamp between the bed and the sub-c access, and got two headsets, one for me, one for Kimiko. I made an arm on the ceiling so I don't have to walk to get in the pod in case of interruptions. I've been pretty good with keeping the rules consistent.

 

I narrated general personality for a third time, then went over it again, reading off all the details as well. I went through part of the list, then I got interrupted.

 

When I came back, I finished narrating all of the details, including likes and powers, then I went into my wonderland again. I added the desk with writing utensil, took the tulpasoul out and put it on the desk, then started writing down details on Anxiety and Hostility. When I finished writing, the papers rolled up on their own and were sucked into the tulpasphere.

 

I've been getting better at walking and sounds. I want peripheral vision to start being used, but I felt an improvement already. The experience when I was not using the list outside was very immersive.

 

I also have an idea for a change to the environment. A library open to sky, with a raised platform with all of the doohickys on. I think I might also be able to improve sizes and distances by shaping around the objects with my hands, but that'll be later.

 

I want to force for two hours each day. I also want to start making the body, but I'm not sure the rules are consistent enough for that just yet. I'm going to continue going over the list and speaking to her in my mind over them. I'll wait a few days to start narration. I'll probably do some more forcing today before I go to bed.

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Change of plans. Read about them here.

 

Last night before going to bed, I went under a trance using countdowns and a favorite technique of mine involving a ball of "energy" entering you and slowly moving through the body, relaxing you further and further. At some point I also tried to induce an out-of-body experience, but I don't really know how, and it failed, although it did further deepen the trance.

 

Forgive me Fede for I have sinned. I'm not dropping the wonderland, turns out the shit in there is useful after all.

 

I took Kimiko out from the holding tank and accessed my subconscious. It dropped me again into a world of black. Now that I think of it, it resembles the world inside Gluttony's stomach from the Fullmetal Alchemist manga, but without the water and random debris.

 

I addressed it, and for some reason a gigantic screen of panels resembling Portal 2's panels responded. A whole screen of light. It felt like the face of God, and I guess my subconscious is my God. Anyway, I started to speak to it. I talked about the time it takes to make a tulpa, and then about Kimiko's sentience and presence in our collective mind. I think I introduced the idea that myself and Kimiko now belonged to my subconscious as equals, and there was an imagined picture of my "partitioning space," where I opened up a large space for Kimiko to grow.

 

After I left the subconscious, I put Kimiko back in the holding tank and synthesized the following: nervous system, skeletal system minus marrow, fat, muscles, skin. Of course, after the session I realized that maybe I was a bit too under, because I forgot the entire cardiovascular system, the immune system, the digestive system, the genitourinary tract and all of the other major organs. So I'm going to go back in, remove the skin, and place all of the rest of the human body in her.

 

Then after that, I started visualizing her as a whole. It was kind of vague, and very hard, but besides the image at the top, I also took visual cues from this quasi-guro image and the (blonde) character of Nadia from The Key to Her Heart.

 

So, day 1 of 14 done. This is the 2nd day. I'll probably get another forcing session in before lunch.

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Just started reading through your log, and I gotta commend you on the amount of details you have going here, with the level of thought you're giving your tulpa's insides, and your mental space station. I see you're really going through with the self suggestion method, and I eagerly wait to see how this pans our for you. I wish you luck, and hope you do stumble on to something amazing.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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