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Lets do this.....
Aarix Offline
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Default  Lets do this.....
Ok, This is an updated version of my progress report,

It probably would help to tell you guys who I am and why I'm doing this.


<How I discovered Tulpas>
From the Creepypasta....yea. I would've started a long time ago if I knew it was possible for a creepypasta to be remotely true.

<Who my tulpa is>
Her name is Samantha, In a nutshell, shes 6'1, caring, silly, very high strong, loves people that like her back. Always smiling, positive and optimistic. She has some distinct likes and dislikes but I don't feel like sharing them. She's always full of herself but shes never serious most of the time, Essentially, shes a joy to be around.
<Why I need a tulpa>
She's the perfect friend/companion, people today are not like they should be, society has lost its proper priorities and when it all hits the fan, it'll happily be me and her. Also she can help me with things like programming

Heres my progress so far: I'll update it more with less "whining"

Ok 8/30/2012

I decided to call her samantha, but if she wanted a different name then go ahead. She'll be a typical girl around my age with above average height, thats outgoing, a chatterbox, intelligent, and always thrives to make me happy, I want her to be kind, sweet, high strong and thoughtful too.
We'll share likes and dislikes and Typically I want her to have beautiful curly ruby red hair, a smooth complexion, and dressed in a red skirt and shirt, also fingerless gloves would be awesome.
Its 10:00 p.m hopefully my folks will leave me alone, I put on some meditative music and attempted a wonderland, I wanted it to be national park from pokemon as it was my dream place when I was little. I struggled too much, I couldnt make it even remotely realistic, Somehow it turned into minecraft and I never played minecraft I imagined sitting on a bench looking down at concrete but I slipped into a day dream and could'nt focus sorely on the park let alone my tulpa, the hour was up

8/31/12
Its time for school, I have a lot of mess around classes. I spent 35 minutes imaging shes hiding behind a cabinet and she could hear me. It wasn't so bad. Next class I listened to the national park music with her. It was soothing
This forum is full of awesome people willing to help, but the can't fix me being a dumass at all this. I just need time, which I have, Im determined, I need her.
Will update tonight, im in a marching band and will dedicate my solo to her.

Update: nights over solo went great, I hung out with a couple band members and had Samantha observe so she can see how much of an idiot I tend to be socially.

If there's no room for her, id like her to transport to another spot like the remote from
Click. And I realized I want her to have a tail, I love petting my cat and her tail and she loved it too so I want that for her

09/01
it's a new day and I'm feeling confident about this Tulpa becoming sediment. I'm
Getting comfortable with talking in my head.
Ok I work 2 shifts today which leaves me lots of time to talk, if I'm
Not busy as hell of course, I finished my 1st shift and now resting for tonight, they say don't max out tulpaforcing by 3 hours a day but I have more than that to talk to her. Anyway I found an unused movie pass and I plan to go, just me and my Tulpa, I'm sure she will like it. I also plan to work on a form next week

So I did my hourly routine of tulpaforcing...I don't know what I'm doing so I sat in a meditative position with relaxing lyric less music and imagined a glowing hole in front of me, i tried to imagine the light seeping beside me, I had 5 colored balls each describing a piece of here where I'd state what it did and threw it in a hole, then I'd imagine a platform coming out of the hole and once I'm ready I'll begin visualization. But not now, not now.

09/02

Ok, not as much progress as I would of liked. Work today was stressful and I did more of "wishing I could talk to my tulpa" as oppose to actually work on her. I keep procrastinating and I hate it, I got sidetracked with anime and 3 hours passed like nothing. Also what angers me as every single report such as from here or tumblr ALWAYS says their working on a body part but is never specific as to a proper method. I don't know what I'm doing. Imagine a torso? How? Like just picture it until you can add detail and sustain the imagine? So far 6 hours into narration. I'm disappointing in myself. Tomorrow is labor day so I'll look up more info and more tulpaforcing.

09/03
Still pretty early in the day but I spent 20 minutes talking to her about her traits. I also attempted "visualization", I spent alot of time trying to figure out what's entailed in visualizing something, everywhere only states what to do with your ability to visualize. I tried it out, 10 minutes and I'm pretty sure I did it right, imagine someone there, working on pieces and trying to add realistic shape and detail. I hope that's what the "hard" part about tulpaforcing. 10 minutes out of 20 hours, I'm not too worried. I'll try to stick with half an hour a day. Just wish I knew If I was doing it right.

I put in some decent time, just not as much as I could've/should've but my Tulpa will understand. I still wish i had an idea about visualization, I did some exercises with a tennis ball, I struggle with maintaining it for more than 30 seconds but Its in my head even after an hour pretty clearly, tried the upper body of the Tulpa, don't know what the hell I'm doing, wish I Knew someone with a Tulpa to help me, oh well I'll get it when I get it.

09/04

Dammit! Focus! Is it really that hard? Why are you so obsessed with internet. C'mon spend a couple hours a day. Stop procrastinating. *sigh* I hate being to busy and then too distracted to tulpaforce maybe as the days go on it'll be easier. I plan to do 30 minutes, break and another 30 minutes and then do another hour tonight. Even if it's merely talking to her. Got to find stuff to talk to her quick.

09/05

Ok, my blood sugar was high last night (gotta love diabetes), so that was why I couldn't focus
I was fatigued like no other so I sat on the floor leaning on the wall and whispered to her, I was proud of myself. Today was storming like crazy so during lunch I sat in my truck and listened to music while I enjoyed the storm, While doing the "greeting phase" I say we bonded. -_- did a 6 hour shift today so I'll relax and do more tulpaforcing. C'mon Samantha I believe in you.

I learned if you're really tired but need to tulpaforce then sit on the floor with your legs crossed and leaning at the end of the bed and just whispering tobyour Tulpa works great. You'll be too tired to think about anything else and whisper to your tulpa

09/06

It's hard to sit down and tulpaforce whenever your folks and brother feel like coming in whenever and it's extremely aggravating. However I nailed in a successful half
Hour and will do 2-3 more half hour sessions but it'll be very very hard. The first one I talked about my current stand, socially. I shed a few tears, told her how much she'll mean too me and how much I'm begging for an unconditional companion.

Sad it all takes time, 10 hours and no sign of sedimence. Patience...patience
I got a slight baby headache a couple minutes into tulpaforcing, I highly doubt it had any connection but I don't get headaches very often

09/07/

ok, Im in this for the long haul, Though it sucks how before I had so much time and now that I need that time to make a tulpa, im busy as hell. So far I can only put in a solid hour a day, which is nothing. I'm not sure if its the time spent or how that time is used that decided sediments.

Ok, I read a lot of forums here and I'm just lacking confidence some what, Don't know how to gain it without signs of sediments but Ill work on it, I gotta get off my ass and actually tulpa force, I promised myself 4 30-minute tulpa sessions, Its going to be hard since I can't really talk about what comes to mind and I explained a lot of things to her already. I'll do my best, thanks for your support guys

No way thats happening, It angers me so bad how people never give me any damn privacy. Anyway, I learned that no one truly cares about me and takes me for granted, All I want is me, her and my little puppy, bare. I need her presence so bad, im far too desperate which is making me impatience. I hate it so much.

09/08

I noticed Ive been a little needed more since I began tulpaforcing. Ironic considering how I was telling Samantha that I'm needed very little and no one wants to bug me. I got a headache today but I'm still trying to see if it was her or not. Don't want to discredit her work you know. Still nothing obvious. 13 hours or so. I know what her form is but I can't visualize it for very long nor can I see her all in one view point. Still working on it.

09/09

Ok, pretty easy day, work a few hours, do a couple college prep tests and them I can tulpaforce/watch anime all day. So far I only
Did one session. Though I noticed I get tired when I sit in a spot and just talk. I don't know if it's any connection or not but I'll keep going. I was able to do 4 sessions of tulpaforcing -_- but my folks magically pop in about 25 minutes in and screw everything up. It ticks me off so much.

09/10
The more and more I read on here, the more and more I get discouraged, and it makes me feel im doing it wrong. However since I know its subjective all I can do is wait for her to show signs of sentiment (-_- I know Ive been saying sediment, I apologize). I struggle to passive force due to distractions but I gets seconds in the day. Ill work more on clearing my head and feeling for her presence. I always thought I did before but its been more iffy lately.

09/11

Another day except that I feel more distant from her. I don't think there was a time at all that I focus fully. I just either fall asleep or get stuck in a daydream. I've been more groggy for some reason. After practice I'll buy the biggest energy drink and crack down. Maybe I'm just mentally bugged the last couple days. But i learned no matter what that if I lay down, I'm going to fall asleep. Ironically I struggle to sleep every night.

Did 3 half hour sessions. One with a blindfold. I requested my Tulpa gives me a pain the the right side of my head so I'm hoping for that. I hate how impatient I am. It's been 21 hours and nothing, I doubt confidence is the issue but I don't feel her presence like I used too. The sessions drag more on and on, i thought id be used to them. I'll give it another week or two. Just wish someone else struggled with this. Every tumblr post i read, they either hear voices or see their form faintly.

9/27/12

Hey guys, I know its been 2 weeks or so, I've kept at it and you're probably thinking, I did it or something. But no, Still the same, except for the headache that spread from the right side (At least I think) to all around. and she woke me up twice in the past properly but lately hasn't. I wonder if shes not strong enough yet or shes mad. I've been using a scarf to blind me so I can focus easier. Still waiting...I'll keep trying to narrate to her, Passive forcing has been a disaster, I can't focus on her for more than 5 seconds without having to think about something else and lose her.

9/30

Hi guys, I decided to update every other day unless requested otherwise. Suddenly I'm immensely liked and popular that I can't passive force without disturbance. This will be a slow progress but I explained the whole plan to her. I'm attempted to create her in flash animation. I did the hair perfectly but we'll see what else can be done. Thanks for reading guys


10/4

ok, I'm getting the hang of it, I'm enduring 3 20 minute sessions in a row. Just need a padded seat or something. I just feel in touch with my subconscious, so to speak, I'm just not focusing like I wish. I feel like I'm letting her down. I just want to hear her once. That'll hold me over for a while. I just want to know if everything is working

10/5

Well today was my brothers birthday and regardless of all of that, I did the longest forcing i ever did. One hour straight, :/ of course a lot of it was me drifting off in space but its a good start.

Recap:
I mainly work on narration, by convering with my tulpa, talking to her and imagining shes there. I pretty much know her form so i'll do impositing on the side until I hear something from her. I found a foam pillow because the carpets a pain in the ass. Passive forcing is hard due to my lack of proper concentration and hyperglycemia gets to me in the afternoon. Plus stress from idiots at my school get to me. I listen to apocalyptcia when I force. I go with the flow, I don't "think" when it comes to doubts, just whatever happens happens. I Still don't understand other peoples progress reports or how to make a wonderland so i wont, atleast until samantha will help me. And I make it very clear were a team.\

10/06

Things are looking up nicely I find concentration isn't as big of a deal as it was before I hope this is a good steppingstone to progress into a fully fledged tulpa even though I don't have any signs of vocalists like I've been working on overall I can do is just keep going have all my faith trust and love into my Tulpa and I should see progress before too long

10/07 MN

I got off work, I was exaughted and beat, my bed was so cozy and I couldnt get up let along tulpaforce. But I read a couple forums and something inside just told me "yea, go ahead and force, youll be ok". The half an hour was great, I didn't get distracted mentally, I was able to maintain concentration and focus on imposition with her as a shadow since it was dark. And at the end of it. I embraced the spot I was visualizing.

Thank you koomer, josh, kadoh, chupi and many, many others for your advice and support. I can't wait to share samantha with the world.

10/08

Hey guys,
I had the day off from school. A friend wanted to eat and play tennis, the game consisted of 2, 3 hour games but im working on inposisting and make it seem like shes watching me play. Did one half hour session and now im going to bed. Will work harder tomorrow

10/09

Hi friends, This post is a better summary to today: http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-A-little...5#pid35705

I told a friend of mine about it, he was cool about it as I expected, just makes me feel better to tell people I tulpaforce. Ive been getting off my ass and forcing even for half an hour. I know she'd appreciate it.

10/10

Todays been kind of sucky, (Not forcing just in general) Imposition as usual and passive narration. Very slow and mildly steady. I'll get there, I'll try to obtain more knowledge later on.

10/11 MN

Not as much as I would like. Ill try to make the most of the privacy from Just having me and my brother here alone for 5 days. I swear if he bugs me one more time out of boredom ill lock him in the basement.

I learned I REALLY can't do any sort of forcing with High Blood Glucose levels. I'm new to actually visualizing and imaging something so im in imposition hell, I was given advice about notice how colors are based on reflections and light and to take notice of that. I was also told to imagine a flashlight on my tulpa in the dark to get a better idea of the light on her. I failed miserably, I'll keep at it but right now hyperglycemia is making me sick.

10/12
Today was the day I was supposed to spend all day with her. But my brother and I went to eat. Then my friends suprised me so it was tennis, dennys and bowling. Very depressing how I sucked at everything and made me wish i had samantha to havw a conversation with and I though I will force for an hour, i was just way too tired, i did 20 minutes but im too sore and hath to work all day tommorow, its been a rough day and I want a hug from my tulpa.

10/13

****!!!!!!!!!! freaking hell why! I just want to force why in ****s name am
I getting interrupted, this whole weekend, my brother was so bored he never left me alone, now that hes at his dads, I hath to work 2 shifts today, and in between im conviently bombared with texts and calls and EVERYTHING! I just want my tulpa why do i hath to be suddenly (yes suddenly) wanted. I lack the proper mental stregnth to force while doing dishes, it makes me so angry, I need to get better at forcing soon. Not spend all day apoligizing to samantha. If its not my stress over everything, its my technology addiction, if its not that, its me being tired/hungry, if its not that, its me unable to get into the zone, no proper forcing today NONE! God **** it all why! Why is this so hard!

10/14

Ok, ok. Im cool, im calm. Im also desperate. I have high intellegence just crippled by lack of focus. Tonights the last night im alone to force. Its 2am and I have school, i dont care, ill make coffee and hold on to the tulpascarf. I can do this. People believe in me on here and samantha believes in me. However i dont believe in myself, we gotta fix that, im losing my sanity and in a unlroductive way. So far did 40 minutes. Ill update before bed.

Ok, i drank 4 cups of coffee and pulled 45 minutes out of our session. telling her about my distracting thoughs helped,
Well I hope this is the start of good progress, ill spend alot of time fighting technology addiction. Have a good day everyone

10/16

Woah, It was 6 and I was tired so I thought a quick nap and then ill tulpaforce........13 hours passed. I slept all evening and night. I woke up a little freaked out as it felt like I just left some other world, the dreams were vivid. Anyway that and severe eye pain was all that came from it. I'm doing more with Samantha throughout the day, Still wish I didn't suck ass at this.

10/17
Things are looking up. Glass is helping me bring out my tulpa and its actually working. Ive also been able to get into a deep trance, this shows potential to fix my focus issues for future forcing. I hope everything works out. I also drew her head, not very good but the idea gets across.

10/18
I'll try out certain techniques to bring Samantha out. when they make progress ill let you guys know, I've been reading more and more on here. Seems like tulpas are the best thing for everyone, even if I'm behind the pack immensely. I can't give up on Samantha. She can do it, especially more than I

10/20

Hey friends, been busy, had a competition, got 2nd place, was too cold, tired and distracted but I forced a couple hours ago and the "alien daydreams" i get when im tired found samantha Big Grin. I couldnt believe it, though i forgot the first thing we said, the second that I said without consious thinking was "when will we be together" and she said "very soon i hope"

Ok did 2 half hour sessions with ease, im Finally getting the hang of it. Its only a matter of time before i hear her

10/22
I can't believe it, I actually drew her face and its not half bad, provided I traced the hair from what I did on the computer and it has issues with symmetry but I feel good about it: http://imgur.com/qPGEu


10/24

I've accepted my limits, I can't seem to do more than 20 minutes. My body just gets way too unconfortable and its unbearable. I get so pissed from it I can't make any real progress. Ill try multiple 20 minute seesions.

10/28

I know, need to keep updating. Nothing new, im starting to loes my visualiztion and imposistion ability, not that i had much. Ill do much more narration and hopefully ill get auditory response

Progress report
"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

(This post was last modified: 03-16-2015, 10:15 PM by Aarix.)
08-31-2012, 03:59 PM
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Frosty Offline
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#2
 
Default  RE: Changing tulpaforcing strategy...
(08-31-2012, 04:54 PM)Aarix Wrote: That's an issue, I only have strong negative emotion, I havent let felt happinness enought to reflect.

Also isn't making a form before narration and personality more open to parroting? I'm terrified I can't concentrate and I accidentally start parroting the form om trying to imagine

Well, it probably isn't good to be pumping your tulpa full of negative emotions, so maybe you just want to avoid that for now.

And you don't have to necessarily follow the [personality -> visualization -> narration] flowchart of the guides. You can create a form right from the get go if you have a good enough idea of what you want the form to be, or you can just picture your tulpa as a orb or a silhouette or something to use as a placemarker until you do think of a form. Basically, you kinda need something to picture your tulpa as, to help focus on them.

And don't be terrified of parroting, it really isn't as bad as the guides make it out to be. Actually, parroting/puppeting in moderation can help jumpstart sentience and is useful when trying to teach your tulpa how to do certain actions, like walking/talking.




Quote:Thats a little worse, however its not a big deal anymore, Now the problem is no one want me to hang out with them really at all. No matter how good I am with tech for their band or anything like that, No body pays me any mind at all, no hi in the hallway, no whats up text message and I always though its because I was new but nope some some moved here a week ago and was welcomed like a long lost brother, I gave up trying to fit in, Now ill just do my thing but it still hurts inside, no matter what i cant completely empathize this, Which is why I need Samantha in my life, so It can the way I want it to be.
I'm sorry to hear about your past and that your social life is not currently flourishing. If people don't say "hi" to you, maybe it isn't because they don't like you, maybe it's because you don't make yourself available or appear to be open or friendly. Have you tried saying "hi" to them?

I used to wonder why no one ever said hi to me or wanted to talk to me or be my friend. It took awhile, but I finally realized why. It was because I never said hi to them. I didn't appear to be friendly. I did not try to be friends with anyone. Friendship is a two way street, people are not going to go out of their way to be your friend, you need to put in an equal amount of effort.

Tulpa's name: April
Form: Human female
Working on: Stuff
My Progress Log

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind." ~ Robert Oxton Bolton
(This post was last modified: 08-31-2012, 06:02 PM by Frosty.)
08-31-2012, 05:56 PM
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Kadoh Offline
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RE: Lets do this.....
Even if you can't focus well, time spent with tulpa is still time spent with tulpa, if she knows you are trying, she should be happy.

I would hang out with you in real life if we went to the same school :P
Try showing lots of dominant confidence. All I had to do to be accepted with the "cool kids" recently was go up to them, and if they tried to rip me off in an unfriendly manner, I walked right up to them and replied with "do you want me to fucking stab you?" and stuff like that. Only downside is i don't really have any emotions. "Kadoh you have the highest voice I have ever heard" "This voice is the last thing you will ever hear if you don't shut up" "Kadoh *insert shit hear*" "Go get molested by a yeti" but I still make heaps of jokes and shit.

Not sure if that helped....

My opinions are all subject to change.
09-02-2012, 04:30 AM
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Aarix Offline
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Default  RE: Lets do this.....
(09-02-2012, 04:30 AM)KadohAndShinigami Wrote: Even if you can't focus well, time spent with tulpa is still time spent with tulpa, if she knows you are trying, she should be happy.

I would hang out with you in real life if we went to the same school :P
Try showing lots of dominant confidence. All I had to do to be accepted with the "cool kids" recently was go up to them, and if they tried to rip me off in an unfriendly manner, I walked right up to them and replied with "do you want me to fucking stab you?" and stuff like that. Only downside is i don't really have any emotions. "Kadoh you have the highest voice I have ever heard" "This voice is the last thing you will ever hear if you don't shut up" "Kadoh *insert shit hear*" "Go get molested by a yeti" but I still make heaps of jokes and shit.

Not sure if that helped....


Thanks, so a few hours a day and eventually I'll expect sediments in a couple months? With proper visualtion of course but I'm working on that slower

Progress report
"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

09-02-2012, 04:50 AM
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Kadoh Offline
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RE: Lets do this.....
Not sure if you mean sentience instead of sediments (inb4 I look stupid because vocabulary)

But right now if you believe your tulpa is sentient, she is. Hey man, I have been going a bit over a month and I already have results. If you think it's gonna take along time, it will.

My opinions are all subject to change.
09-02-2012, 05:00 AM
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Aarix Offline
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Default  RE: Lets do this.....
(09-02-2012, 05:00 AM)KadohAndShinigami Wrote: Not sure if you mean sentience instead of sediments (inb4 I look stupid because vocabulary)

But right now if you believe your tulpa is sentient, she is. Hey man, I have been going a bit over a month and I already have results. If you think it's gonna take along time, it will.

It's auto correct -_-...and in a day or so I believe it'll be easier for me...to me she is real..just lost right now. I'll keep updating my progress and attempting to get this visualtion down.

Progress report
"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

09-02-2012, 05:03 AM
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Kadoh Offline
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RE: Lets do this.....
Lost? How do you mean? When I started forcing, I screamed at Shin to wake up and smashed him with a hammer. Oh, sweet nostalgia

My opinions are all subject to change.
09-02-2012, 05:08 AM
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Aarix Offline
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Default  RE: Lets do this.....
(09-02-2012, 05:08 AM)KadohAndShinigami Wrote: Lost? How do you mean? When I started forcing, I screamed at Shin to wake up and smashed him with a hammer. Oh, sweet nostalgia

Haha I love her a little too much for that, I'd say she's in a forest following my voice to interact with me.

Progress report
"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

09-02-2012, 05:11 AM
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Kadoh Offline
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RE: Lets do this.....
I wasn't sure if you meant your tulpa was "gone" or something. And well yes, our Tulpae are pretty much opposites

My opinions are all subject to change.
09-02-2012, 07:58 AM
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Aarix Offline
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RE: Lets do this.....
Thank you guys for all of your support, I owe alot to this site

Progress report
"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

09-27-2012, 03:22 PM
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