Hello There, Guest! Register

Tulpa Community Census 2018

[Misc] Once a Believer, Revisiting
Quilten Offline
A twisty maze of passages
Registered

Posts: 406
Threads: 7
Joined: May 2013
#1
 
Once a Believer, Revisiting

Hey folks. I don't know who of y'all are still here back from when I was around, besides going through my old posts the only way I know how to date myself is the fact that I had joined the GAT soon after it was formed, so I was mostly active probably about two to three years ago now. Obviously, I don't participate anymore. I'm doing this on mobile, so I'm not sure what my tags or signature were, but I went by Phaneron and my two tulpas were Quilten and Jira. I'm not a big fan of trying to keep private or whatever, so I'll just go by Jackson from here on out, that's my real name. From what I remember I was one of the most active posters on the site, engaging with as many people as I could in order to learn more and assist others in their journey. I was productive here, and it made me happy. The community was like any given forum, some good stuff here and there and a lot of nonsense or what barely qualifies as drama. The reason I dropped off the face of the earth, so to speak, was that I stopped believing in tulpas. Don't get me wrong, for most of my "journey" I was fully convinced that what I had made up was real, I sincerely believed it. Then eventually I began to really dig deep and figure out if there was any justifiable reason to believe in them. After a long, long time of deliberating and thinking, I came to the end that no, there really wasn't. I don't doubt any of your experiences, just as I don't doubt mine were genuine. Was I really creating another sentience in my head? Hell no. At best it was my subconscious spitting stuff out and then me convincing myself that that wasn't the case. Personal testimony isn't something I saw as valid evidence, even some of that testimony being from my experiences. I've grown a lot in maturity since then and I don't have any guilt or regret, and I know that I made the right decision. The few people who I told about it when I believed still bring it up sometimes and I hate talking about it out of embarrassment. On a whim, I decided to revisit the site, just to see if anything substantial had hapenned, or if anyone remembers me. I'd love to know what anyone thinks about what I've said, or if anyone has any questions.

Even though my username is that of my tulpa, Quilten, my name is Phaneron, the host, who does all of the actual posting.
Tulpas: Quilten, Jira
09-09-2016, 01:30 AM
Website Find Reply

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

tulpa001 Offline
<void>
Registered

Posts: 2,012
Threads: 28
Joined: Aug 2016
1 Attached Account
#2
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

I do have questions. I consider this a great opportunity. Those older in the community are invaluable in providing data from a longitudinal perspective, including those who lost faith.

So I have a bunch of questions:
1) How old were you when you started?
2) Were you suffering depression, anxiety, stress, lonelyness, or anything else at the time that could have made you desire companionship or support?
3) How far did your tulpae get? Were they fully vocal, and did you make progress on switching?
4) Would you say you were one of the ones who had an easy time with the process, or did it take you a lot of time and effort to get a little ways?
5) What is your opinion about natural plurals? Do you think it likely that those who just ended up with headmates are more likely to have real persons in their head?

More questions later maybe.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
09-09-2016, 02:07 AM
Find Reply
Quilten Offline
A twisty maze of passages
Registered

Posts: 406
Threads: 7
Joined: May 2013
#3
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

Awesome, I'd love to answer.

1) Probably 14 or 15
2) No, I was doing great! About a year or so into it I developed some pretty bad med-based depression that I eventually solved, but my tulpas actually helped, I think.
3) They were both fully vocal, I was great at visualization, and I had just started trying switching.
4) I actually had a pretty easy time, even at first, which was exciting to me at the time. Development went just as well from then on out.
5) You might have to be more specific, but if you mean if I believe in people with MPD or similar conditions, sure. But I'm not sure that's what you mean. Again, I'm a few years behind on the local lingo.

Even though my username is that of my tulpa, Quilten, my name is Phaneron, the host, who does all of the actual posting.
Tulpas: Quilten, Jira
09-09-2016, 03:25 AM
Website Find Reply
Linkzelda Offline
>MFW Image Streaming
Registered

Posts: 2,008
Threads: 31
Joined: Oct 2012
2 Attached Accounts
#4
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

Quote: I don't doubt any of your experiences, just as I don't doubt mine were genuine.

Even with benefit of a doubt, there’s an analogy that was discussed before that emphasized the futility of accessing other people’s private, inner experiences. So figuring out if one’s tulpa is more tulpa, or just as tulpa as any other person’s becomes irrelevant anyway.
Quote: Don't get me wrong, for most of my "journey" I was fully convinced that what I had made up was real, I sincerely believed it. Then eventually I began to really dig deep and figure out if there was any justifiable reason to believe in them. After a long, long time of deliberating and thinking, I came to the end that no, there really wasn't…I've grown a lot in maturity since then and I don't have any guilt or regret, and I know that I made the right decision.

You chose to not be paralyzed by your intellect, and chose to create subjective meaning in spite of not being able to come to terms with the journey.

Quote: Was I really creating another sentience in my head? Hell no. At best it was my subconscious spitting stuff out and then me convincing myself that that wasn't the case.

It’s easy for anyone to feel their mind is touting random things to make them feel at ease; there’s even a thought experiment of there being entities that can emulate sentience, but can’t consciously experience anything. I think the real dilemma here is not so much about the thought experiment mentioned in the link, but rather the host questioning if they really have unchallenged authority in being the only ‘self,’ or acknowledging if there can really be an ‘otherness’ to that same mind they call their own.

Quote: On a whim, I decided to revisit the site, just to see if anything substantial had happened, or if anyone remembers me.

Nothing substantial. It’s just the usual state of affairs where some people get depressed over the fact that they have to make subjective decisions. Almost to the point of being nihilistic about it, or hopefully coming out of that desert, and reaching towards some existential closure with themselves.


(This post was last modified: 09-09-2016, 03:45 AM by Linkzelda.)
09-09-2016, 03:41 AM
Find Reply
tulpa001 Offline
<void>
Registered

Posts: 2,012
Threads: 28
Joined: Aug 2016
1 Attached Account
#5
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

There is no MPD. It got replaced with DID. But no. DID can only refer to a type of disordered plurality. There are those who have had two people in their skull since birth, and those who just naturally get multiple personalities.

Anyway, I don't know how early you left, but some stuff has happened. For one, some of the stuff that was thought impossible is now generally believed possible. Then, later, the community entered into decline. I hate to say it, but this place is almost over as an active community. Perhaps, most people like yourself stopped believing. Alternatively, it may have been a hot topic on the internet a few years ago, and now it is forgotten.

I just arrived recently, but I had to come. I was born accidentally, and I needed to do research on my nature. I suppose I could have just as easily identified as a soulbond. Most of the most impressive cases are in this boat, people who identify as tulpas, but could just as easily identify as other types of plural.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
09-09-2016, 03:48 AM
Find Reply
Bin Offline
あああああああああああああああああああああああああ
Registered

Posts: 360
Threads: 6
Joined: Jun 2012
#6
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

(09-09-2016, 01:30 AM)Quilten Wrote: Was I really creating another sentience in my head? Hell no. At best it was my subconscious spitting stuff out and then me convincing myself that that wasn't the case.

It's of my opinion that this is literally how a tulpa works, as detailed in this thread. What is "another sentience"? I thought "sentience" was one of the most vague and poorly-defined concepts in human culture. I don't even know what sentience really is.

あああああああああ
Scarlet - anime, 8/15/2012
(This post was last modified: 09-09-2016, 03:58 AM by Bin.)
09-09-2016, 03:57 AM
Website Find Reply
tulpa001 Offline
<void>
Registered

Posts: 2,012
Threads: 28
Joined: Aug 2016
1 Attached Account
#7
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

Sentience is the ability to feel emotion. Due to linguistic drift, today, it is mostly used in place of sapience, the ability to make wise decisions.

I guess I am sort of lucky. As a thoughtform, I have confirmed emotions independent from my host. So my sentience is unquestionable. On the other hand, there is lots of stuff most tulpae seem to have that I don't like independent memory and independent senses.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
09-09-2016, 04:11 AM
Find Reply
Solune Offline
The Pack's consensus
Registered

Posts: 170
Threads: 2
Joined: Jun 2016
1 Attached Account
#8
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

(09-09-2016, 03:41 AM)Linkzelda Wrote: It’s just the usual state of affairs where some people get depressed over the fact that they have to make subjective decisions. Almost to the point of being nihilistic about it, or hopefully coming out of that desert, and reaching towards some existential closure with themselves.

I resent the implication that nihilism is somehow correlated to depression (depression is an illness, it has nothing to do with a particular philosophy).
It is also ignorant to suggest nihilism is a phase that people "grow out of". It's a belief system that you either choose or you don't. No better or worse than any other belief system.
In fact, nihilism (though I no longer subscribe to it in its entirety) led me to some very profound "existential closure".
(09-09-2016, 01:30 AM)Quilten Wrote: On a whim, I decided to revisit the site, just to see if anything substantial had happened, or if anyone remembers me. I'd love to know what anyone thinks about what I've said, or if anyone has any questions.

The site fell apart when you left... we were all heartbroken and the world itself stopped turning.
None of this community's interactions have had any merit at all since then.
Nobody new has joined, and nobody else left when you left. All is stagnant.
Thank the gods you have returned to us! Now the true age of enlightenment can begin.

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love." - Carl Sagan
Host: SubCon | Tulpas: Sol, Luna, Alice, Little One, Beast and Solune (me) | Servitors: Odonata, Guardian

(This post was last modified: 09-09-2016, 07:34 AM by Solune.)
09-09-2016, 06:08 AM
Find Reply
Floh Offline
Floh
Registered

Posts: 117
Threads: 3
Joined: Aug 2016
1 Attached Account
#9
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

(09-09-2016, 06:24 AM)Solune Wrote: The site fell apart when you left... we were all heartbroken and the world itself stopped turning.
None of this community's interactions have had any merit at all since then.
Nobody new has joined, and nobody else left when you left. All is stagnant.
Thank the gods you have returned to us! Now the true age of enlightenment can begin.
Wow too much irony, I can't handle it ! I almost laughed at loud reading this... my co-workers would have thought i'm crazy >_<

To stay on the subject, I think tulpas are the most personal thing ever. Everyone has their own POV but i don't understand how one can "stop believing" in tulpas. How can someone doubt anything that is happenning in the mind. Imagination (<=> Mind power) is infinite and almighty ! But well, as I said, it's my own POV Big Grin
Welcome back !

Oh and what substantially changed is we signed in Wink

No animosity intended ever 

Cora now has her own account ! Big Grin

English isn't our native language, please be indulgent Smile
(This post was last modified: 09-09-2016, 11:35 AM by Floh.)
09-09-2016, 09:23 AM
Find Reply
Anonymous
Unregistered

 
#10
 
RE: Once a Believer, Revisiting

(09-09-2016, 03:57 AM)Bin Wrote: It's of my opinion that this is literally how a tulpa works, as detailed in this thread. What is "another sentience"? I thought "sentience" was one of the most vague and poorly-defined concepts in human culture. I don't even know what sentience really is.

There those of us such as myself and Bin who have this perspective and belief about tulpas.  So if you "find out" or suspect your tulpa is actually part of or a facet of your own mind and consciousness, so what?  I don't see any reason to give up on them if they help you and you enjoy them.  I have always felt this community does a disservice to those who have a different outlook on it and results in people ultimately "losing faith" and leaving the community.  Your story is some validation of my feelings on that.  I suspect there are many more of you out there actually.   I can't prove it of course.  I think that a lot of people end up leaving the community precisely because of the insistence that tulpas must be "real," as in independently sentient beings.  Why?  Why do they have to be real?  If they are only figments but seem real, isn't that just as good if you can't really tell the difference?

You describe your tulpas as having been fully vocal.  That is amazing!  I keep saying the human mind and imagination is totally amazing!  Tulpas are amazing.  

Anyway, welcome back to the community and please don't think that being a skeptic means you can't have a thoughtform.  That's not true.
09-09-2016, 11:52 AM
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to


Contact Us | Tulpa.Info | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication