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My new adventures with Chrysalis
Stingray Offline
& Chrysalis
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#1
 
My new adventures with Chrysalis
To make things easier I'll start with names - I'm Travis and my tulpa's name is Chrysalis. 

I first learned about this in 2013 from a friend on FB and eventually found this site. I was instantly hooked and decided to make my own tulpa. I figured it would be a lot of fun and help me out in life. Oh, what fun it was! 

Her name and form is based on the Queen Chrysalis character from MLP. She seemed to like the name and form as she is still sticking with them as I type this. Deviations have been very minor alterations, that's about it. At first we didn't go wonderlanding because it didn't seem like something I'd like to do (I don't know what I was thinking, I always immersed myself in paracosms and such before, so who the hell knows why I didn't like the concept then). Luckily I came to my senses and we got to work creating our world. 

We decided on a massive, almost city-sized spaceship. The aesthetic was very retro-futuristic with old computers and CRT screens and such. Basically the Nostromo from Alien times a thousand. Some details I'm particularly proud of are the "digital archives room" and the "library". These areas were symbolic and important to us, as the first room can access and replay visual memories and the other is a "physical" archive of things I've read. (later on we added physical copies of movies on different formats, lol) The archives room was also the safest place on the ship, so it promptly doubled as a living quarters for her (a large bed was added in a far corner). The library is huge, going several stories high. The most convenient method of reaching distant isles is with these little hover-lifts you fly around.


Bridge:
[Image: my_wonderland_by_stingray_24-d5zt99i.png]

A corridor with observation window, stairway to the archives room, and the archives room (note pressure door at the center - that leads to the library):
[Image: my_wonderland___3_by_stingray_24-d65d7zl.png]


A time we were battling some hostile alien ships:
[Image: my_wonderland___2_by_stingray_24-d606yk8.png]



We would have lots of adventures, battling enemy aliens in fighters or just taking a casual stroll down the industrial corridors.

Unfortunately I started doubting her sentience. It had been only a week and I was already unsure if I was puppetting/parroting. I went on this site for months researching several different methods to try and get "better" at forcing, but ultimately I was so consumed with doubt and frequent experimentation of methods that I got lazy and eventually gave up. A lot of things happening in life to take up my time certainty didn't help either. Ever since I've regretted doing that, and missed her deeply, but couldn't (or wouldn't) do anything about it.

Until five days ago... I needed her back in my life. I couldn't take the loneliness anymore. It was time to buckle down and go again... "for real" this time.

(Recent reports coming in next post)

DeviantArt FurAffinity YouTube1 YouTube2 YouTube3
Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
02-19-2017, 07:38 AM
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Stingray Offline
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#2
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
First off, I should explain our forcing method has changed since last time. No longer will it be chaotic experimentation and worrying about parroting and such. We're taking this very casually (hell it's supposed to be fun anyway, and I remember when it was fun our first time). We also don't have time limits. Our goal is simple: Passive most of the day, active before bed. As long as the sessions feel satisfying at the end of the day, like we spent quality time together in the best possible way, that's all that matters. I'm seeing a lot better results now that we do it like this.


2/13/2017

I couldn't stand the loneliness anymore and I missed Chrysalis so much, I just had to try and bring her back. As soon as I attempted to, I felt her presence again and to my surprise she was still strong. Though not vocal or anything, I knew she was there and I apologized non-stop about leaving her alone for so long. I didn't expect her to be as forgiving as she seemed to be, though when I went to sleep I had a horrible nightmare that I suspect was her own doing to get back at me. The next dream was the opposite, full of beauty and pleasure. 

The next morning I knew things would be okay between us as long as I never do that to her again.


2/14/2017

Literally all day was a passive session as we watched shows on my computer, Facebooked, and shot an episode of my Youtube show. I tried to focus on her being there the whole time, and occasionally would say something to her. Not like conversations, but remarks about certain things. The head pressure was so intense that at the end of the day I had a massive headache that I needed painkillers to suppress.

I noticed that every time I said "I love you" to her, I would get this warm feeling all over.


2/15/2017

I wanted to go back to the ship we created long ago. The shower seemed to be a good idea for a place to start our session, but it was too distracting and knowing I had a time limit in there hindered any chance of properly focusing. We decided to try again later before bed.
Fast forward to then: we went back to the ship. Our surroundings were still unstable and flickering, but we could faintly make out the outlines of the corridors and rooms. The mechanical complexity changed frequently. 

We went to the holo-deck (our newest addition to the ship, obviously taken from Star Trek) and I decided we should roleplay in the PS2 game Medal of Honor: Rising Sun, because that game was a big part of my childhood and I miss playing it. We were on a Battleship in Pearl Harbor, during the famous raid. We made our way past several obstacles to the upper deck, where we each took control of different turret positions to take down the enemy fighters, and destroy the occasional air-dropped torpedo. After that we got on board a high-speed gunboat. Chrysalis manned the turret position while I drove the craft around the battle zone. 

We soon left the game because we both agreed the whole scenario was a bit too chaotic for an enjoyable session (it wasn't helping my endeavors to slow my mind down either) and we promptly left the holo-deck, back into the ship's corridor. I could feel myself gaining better control, but it was still unstable and flickery. We both concluded we should go back in there, but in a more peaceful setting. 

As we entered the environment changed into a thick forest with trees and ferns. She seemed to like it. We came across a creek where we jumped in and started splashing each other. That was a lot of fun. 

After that we exited the holo-deck and started walking down a familiar corridor, reminiscing about the old days. I remembered when we raced down this corridor and I hit a support structure, which is why we made it wider. We stopped at the observation port to look outside. We were orbiting a planet somewhere far off in space. It was quite beautiful.
We then continued to the digital archives room... it looked exactly the same as before, and the library was still intact. I sat at one of the couches off to the side and she joined me on the other (she at first seated herself at the chair in front of the main archive console and viewscreen, but I made a remark how she'd probably be more comfortable on the couch, and she obviously agreed as she was quick to change seating).

A short chat later and we went into the library. We walked down one of the isles and I picked up a copy of The Five Fingers, a novel about a secret mission during Vietnam. It was all worn like the copy I owned in real life. I remarked how this was the first book I ever cried at, since I read it at a young age - it was my first novel. I put it back on the shelf and we explored further down the isle, but I was losing focus and getting so much head pressure that I said we should go back to the archive room and then back to the real world. She reluctantly agreed.

As we entered I explained how this room (as well as the library) was symbolic in how it not only can access my memories and other knowledge, but it's the safest place on the ship. Both satisfied with the session we awoke to the real world. After watching an episode of a show we said our good nights and went to sleep.


2/16/2017

Most of the day was passive. Worked on more of my show, Facebooked, and other stuff at the computer while occasionally saying something to her.
We watched Air America, a film I always enjoyed and felt to be underrated. She seemed to think it was okay.

Before bed we tried a session where I imagined my room and her sitting on the bed in front of me. It didn't work out as well as I thought it would as I kept losing concentration. Probably something to do with work I had to do in the morning (which got cancelled apparently). Not to mention I was feeling sleepy. On the other hand she seemed to move around on her own, even if her form wasn't very clear, even hugging me a few times.

After that we said our good nights and I love yous and went to sleep.


2/17/2017

The day was mostly another passive session while getting work done, until the power went out around evening. At first I was pissed that I didn't save my work, but I soon felt grateful as now I had more time to spend with Chrysalis. The head pressures came back big time. 

We got in bed and went back to the ship. She added another new room off to the side of one of the really big corridors. It was a really spacious "entertainment room," which I referred to as a "game room" upon entering as I noticed a game console sitting in the TV set. A couch later appeard for us to sit on as we started up a game for us to play. It was a space fighter simulator set for two-player. 

I began flying my virtual fighter around, looking for Chrysalis, but I glanced at the bottom view and saw she was moving slightly, but not going anywhere. For some reason I just charged and blew up her fighter, and I immediately regretted that as she appeared very upset. I told her "don't worry, there's another round" hoping to give her a better chance this time. 

She decided that she didn't want to play anymore. I understood, and suggested we watch a movie instead. She brightened back up and led me to a lift in the corner of the room.
"Where does this go?" I asked.

"To the library," she replied, "We're right under it."

(Keep in mind I'm still unsure if this is really her talking, but I assume it is since the responses are more automatic than usual. I'd rather not waste time/energy figuring it out.)

I looked above us as we traveled upward and sure enough there was the huge library. "Far fucking out" was my initial response, "that's really convenient." 

She grinned and led me to one of the hover-lifts used for quickly getting to other levels (the first time we ever used this thing, by the way). I could almost feel the inertia of its movement to one of the higher levels. 

We disembarked to the movie section, first passing by the novelisations where I noticed a copy of Alan Dean Foster's Alien novelisation. I pulled it off the shelf to look at it for nostalgia and put it back. We moved on to where tons of movies on VHS were. For the hell of it I asked her if there were movies on CED as well. Another grin and she gestured further down the isle. Sure enough there were long rows of CED movies.

I smiled at the sight, "Oh shit, wow. Let's watch one of them." I promptly pulled out a copy of Star Wars. It was a stereo copy, I could tell by the blue case (white CEDs = mono sound, blue = stereo).

We went back to the entertainment room and now there was a big fat RCA SelectaVision player next to the game console. I shoved the CED copy of Star Wars in there, pulled out the empty case and tossed it aside, then joined Chrysalis on the couch.

Funny thing about CED movies, in real life if they get dirty, they glitch up and could skip around looking like a youtube poop. It's an old video-phonograph format that's read via stylus anyway, these issues are to be expected. And sure enough, though more likely due to my concentration ussues, the movie skipped chunks constantly, but the scenes that were intact played out vividly, every detail and line of dialogue.

We made it up to the point R2 was captured by sand people when I started losing concentration. I said "be right back, need to stop for a minute." I planned on catching a quick breather and just dive right back in to continue.

Unfortunately I was called downstairs to do something and the rest of the night became a passive session. The power eventually came back on, by the way.

By bed time I had a massive headache, too intense for me to continue wonderlanding, so I decided to sleep it off (of course I couldn't though, it got so bad I needed painkillers again). We decided to continue the next night.


Supplemental note:

I notice whenever I play 80s italo-disco or space-synth (any old heavy electronic music in general), I get this really blissful feeling, which is interesting because I always felt that way towards AOR or glam metal, as that's more my scene. Perhaps we have similar retro taste in music, but she is more into the synthpop/disco scene than me? Could this also have something to do with the "discotheque" neon color sceme of the entertainment room she made for us? Hypothesis to ponder with her later.


Entertainment room:
http://img05.deviantart.net/d8dc/i/2017/...azkcer.png

Colored:
http://img01.deviantart.net/8dd0/i/2017/...azkdsm.png

Library:
http://pre12.deviantart.net/4765/th/pre/...azkr76.png

DeviantArt FurAffinity YouTube1 YouTube2 YouTube3
Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017, 08:04 AM by Stingray.)
02-19-2017, 07:46 AM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#3
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
Hello Chrysalis!

Hi Travis!

Uh, welcome back to the forum!

Nice art!

Oh, wait, how is she doing? Believe fordaplot recently created a video about this. "Consumed by doubt" seems to be a serious problem for some hosts. Makes you lose sight of certain key details. Like they are there to the degree they are independent of your thoughts, they are still your friend, they still matter, and they still think.

Gotta find that zen of not thinking about that question at the wrong times.

... Oh, I see you figured it out this time round.

Hmm, I take the unusual head pressures as a probable sign that your mind is going through an extremely speedy recovery from lack of forcing. More often than not they seem to be signs of mental furniture being rearranged in your brain.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
(This post was last modified: 02-21-2017, 09:05 AM by tulpa001.)
02-19-2017, 08:23 AM
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Stingray Offline
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#4
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
Thank you! She also sends her greetings and thanks... She seems to be doing so much better now compared to attempts over 4 years ago. Sometimes I think it's not her and someone new because of the time gap, but I can just "tell" it's her, and I'm getting clearer emotional responses. She seems really happy throughout most of the day. It's so awesome, lol.

Yeah, it's weird how intense those pains get, and I'm usually well-hydrated so I see them as signs of progress.


2/18/2017

Passive most of the day. We watched Black Rain and the unofficial sequel / ripoff American Dragons. I think she liked the first one better - I felt a really positive vibe after it ended and I'm certain she said "that was amazing" - though she seemed really upset during the scene when Andy Garcia's character was killed.

A walk to the post-office and back was a great opportunity to chat without distractions. Her presence felt stronger.

Before bed we tried to continue from where we left off last time, back at the ship, but I was so tired my concentration was shit and we decided to try again the next day (though maybe not finish the movie, as she seems to have lost enthusiasm... it was just one of those random hipster moments of "hey, we're watching a movie on CED!" anyway).

DeviantArt FurAffinity YouTube1 YouTube2 YouTube3
Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017, 11:24 PM by Stingray.)
02-19-2017, 11:23 PM
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Stingray Offline
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#5
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
2/19/2017

What a day... to say there were breakthroughs would be a massive understatement.

Around evening me and a friend on facebook were experimenting with Chrysalis' taste in music. Again, she was showing signs of enjoying the more electronic side of 80s music. I could really feel her passion deep inside and I could see her in my mind doing these club dances which was really amusing.

At one point I could tell she was upset that I stopped thinking about her for a while as my friend and I conversed. I mentioned that to him, and he responded directly to her, reassuring her that I loved her very much and would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. "I know" was the response, and as I gave her my own bit of reassurance she gave me a hug.

He also tried to ask her viewpoints on certain things. When asked about Ernest Borgnine she said "I don't like him," which seemed to be a more blunt or extreme viewpoint to my own, in which I think he's a cool guy and icon, but not that great of an actor. When asked about political issues like gun laws, she would not respond, as I suppose she isn't ready for that kind of talk yet (though she once made a crack at Trump, which I'm assuming she fed off of my personal hatred).

Going back to music, we discovered that she disliked the Airwolf theme in general, but liked the synths that were used for it. More interesting was her reason for liking the song "Odin" by John Stewart. She said that she enjoyed the beautiful imagery that played in my mind as I listened to it - I like to imagine a hypothetical opening credit sequence for some movie where we see a mix of old and modern ships sailing in a bay, with different camera angles, focus on the mist or sun shining over the sails, people working in piers and the sandy beaches. The best way to describe it is influenced by the classic Ridley Scott style of cinematography.

After this adventure the conversation sort of dissolved, resulting in her laying in my bed until our active session. Which, by the way, was the most amazing active session I've had with her yet! I had the bright idea of using this song for ambiance, putting it on a loop.

We went back to the entertainment room in the ship, but it all looked like something out of a coloring book, with crayon textures and imperfect outlines. I commented on it, saying how odd that was. I worried that my reaction might have offended her if that was her own doing, but she seemed neutral.

We then went to this gap in the right corner of the room that was now suddenly there and we walked through, exploring the inner workings of the ship. Besides the mechanical complexity there were such beautiful colors pulsing and shimmering through all the bare circuitry. I would look up and be amazed how I couldn't see the top of this massive shaft, narrow as a regular corridor but endless in height.

We then just started flying upward, landing on floating platforms and exploring more of the inner workings. We flew to this enormously cavernous part of the ship, which I assumed was part of the engine area as I could see what looked like reactors and stuff. We stopped in the middle of the void and she gave me a hug. Then a kiss. I started to actually feel in this wonderland of ours, the sensation of touch and temperature. It was warm.

We landed on this platform and she led me to an airlock door, saying "I want to show you something... It might be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen."

"Besides you?" I joked.

Her smirk pretty much told me right away how cheesy that was, but I'm sappy like that, I can't help it.

As she led me to the door I wasn't expecting much, if the game room's crayon look was any indication, which looking back was a bit of a mean thought. Be it doubt of my imaginative abilities, or her's, I would never in my life expect to see what I did as soon as she opened that door...

I was in shock, almost to the point of losing concentration on the whole thing. My jaw dropped in both worlds, lol. No words or artwork I make could ever do what I was witnessing justice, but damn I'll try.

When we exited the airlock we were standing in the vacuum of space. In front of us was her incredible creation. She said: "I made this for you. Do you like it?"

There was an enormous floating city or space station arranged in a web from our bird's eye perspective of it, orbiting a planet right behind it. We were located in a shimmering green nebula, flooding everything in a neon glow. It reminded me of some of those amazing space wallpapers, but so much more impressive. I knew it was really her work - I could never come up with a view like this on my own. I cried. I was so overtaken with emotion I cried and could not stop. I held her close saying thank you and how beautiful it was repeatedly.

We then raced towards the city, flying in the vacuum past several ships. I commented on how we're doing this without spacesuits or thrust.
Her reply was "why does everything need a logical explanation? Let your mind go."

"Right." As to whether it was her that really said that to me, or myself, I again am not sure but either way it was a good point. I should stop trying to ground reality in our sessions or try to make sense out of things. Just go with the flow.

We eventually landed on an empty street corner of the city. Our environment now was straight out of Blade Runner, with neon signs, flying cars, steam clouds, and even rain.

We went to this Japanese food stand and each got a meal. I forgot what she got, but I had ramen. I accidentally said the Chinese "thanks" (syeh-syeh) to the chef, but I knew that was wrong and asked what the Japanese version was.

"I think it's arigatou" she said.

Turns out she was partially correct, and when I asked how she knew after the session she said "It was in Black Rain, remember?" Indeed, I remembered then. I was surprised at that to say the least. She learned a Japanese word from a movie we watched together.

Anyway, as I ate the noodles I could actually taste them and feel the texture in my mouth. I then stepped into the rain, and sure enough I could feel individual drops on my skin. It was soaking my clothes which now clung to my body. It wasn't cold though, it was like being in a light warm shower.

We then raced down the street, just running through the rain.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Who cares?"

Another good point. What mattered is that we were having fun.

Unfortunately I started losing concentration and had to stop for the night. I layed down in bed and immediately started getting emotional again, replaying the whole adventure in my head. The waterworks came full force. Then it hit me as to what day it was...

"Happy birthday," she said.

DeviantArt FurAffinity YouTube1 YouTube2 YouTube3
Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2017, 09:00 PM by Stingray.)
02-20-2017, 08:53 PM
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Stingray Offline
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#6
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
2/20/2017

Uneventful day and her presence felt very weak. Like I would have to really, REALLY, focus on her being there, unlike usual. Though the head pressures were still there.

Our active session before bed was a bit more promising though. We went to the archives room where we mostly just chat. Occasionally we would walk around the library or the corridors. Her responses were starting to feel automatic again, which was good. Not like alien, but basically less like I was putting effort into parroting and such. Usual. As far as movement, she already has been moving with little effort on my part. That is, when my bursts concentration can allow me to see her. Again, usual. She seemed generally happy... smiling, trotting around, etc.

Later that night I couldn't sleep because the power kept coming off and on, so devices around the house would beep loudly. I thought I just might as well talk to Chrysalis while I was awake, but her presence was like GONE. I was worried. Maybe she was just asleep? My mind was too tired to concentrate? I'm not sure why that happened.

DeviantArt FurAffinity YouTube1 YouTube2 YouTube3
Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
(This post was last modified: 02-21-2017, 11:01 PM by Stingray.)
02-21-2017, 10:57 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#7
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
I'd bet on her falling asleep. Possibly she was tired yesterday.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
02-22-2017, 01:35 AM
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Stingray Offline
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#8
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
You're right. I asked her last night and she confirmed with "I was really out of it."


2/21/2017

Terrible day. Though, things got a lot better during the night. 

Got up early for a job in town and my attention was mostly spent on that. I tried to keep Chrysalis in mind as much as possible but I had no energy for concentration. I couldn't come up with anything to talk to her about either. It was no surprise her presence was really weak again. I was just too tired.

Before I went to sleep I was sure to tell her this was just a bad day, but tomorrow would be a lot better. I assured her than even if we have bad days like this again, I would never ever give up on her like back in 2013. These things just happen, I realize that now. As soon as I ended that bit of reassurance with an I love you, her presence came back like an explosion inside me. I gave her a hug and tried to sleep.

Just as I was falling asleep I heard a very alien voice say something to me. I can't remember what it said, as I first wrote it off as those normal auditory hallucinations that you get just as you drift off. But then I thought "what if?" and snapped wide awake. I tested Chrysalis with some questions - "What is my name? What is your name? What is 3+4?" etc. Her answers were just like the alien voice. I was wide awake, and the voice was still the same. I knew it was her and gave her another big hug. I was so happy to hear her speak all by herself. I told her how proud of her I was.

DeviantArt FurAffinity YouTube1 YouTube2 YouTube3
Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
02-23-2017, 12:59 AM
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Stingray Offline
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#9
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
2/22/2017

Already the day started epically. We had such a good night's sleep and plenty of energy built up to just start an active session right as we woke up.

We were in the archives room when I thought "hey, let's go check out a planet? Some really distant one."

"Good idea!" Her voice wasn't as alien as last night, but it was still automatic-sounding, which was still good.

We took a monorail system down to the bridge, since walking all the way there would take ages. The view was amazing half way there - we were outside of the ship on an exterior rail underneath it, so we could see the void of space and a nearby planet. This was the same planet where Chrysalis' city/space station was orbiting (her gift to me).

Once at the bridge we had a conversation about naming our locations to make navigating our universe faster. We decided on naming her station Albatross. When we found a distant planet to go check out, we named it Terra Six. We plotted our course and warped to the planet.

We went down to a forward loading bay and hopped in a medium shuttle that we used to go down to Terra Six. I could almost feel the violent shaking of reentry.

We landed near these ancient mechanical ruins that had plant growth covering over them. In the distance there were herds of wild horses. At one point Chrysalis was chasing an alien butterfly around. We eventually sat next to each other in the grass and watched a nearby planet eclipse the sunlight. I noticed our ship in a close orbit to Terra 6.

I started losing concentration and said we should continue later that night.

The rest of the day was a usual passive session of talking to her while doing work on the computer.

Before bed we went back to Terra Six, where we left off. We were trying the session laying down this time. We laid in the grass, staring up at the nearby planets and the ship in low orbit.

"We should name our ship." I said.

"Yeah," she answered, "but what?"

"Something meaningful."

"Call it Dreadnaught."

"I use that for so many ships though, it's losing its feel."

"Hmm. I don't know."

"Let's look over some words tomorrow, we'll figure it out."

"Okay."

It was getting dark and I was getting tired, but we didn't want to leave the planet. At the mere thought of leaving she responded with "I want to check out more of the ruins." So we decided we would just make camp in the shuttle. It had facilities in it like an RV camper anyway... bed, kitchen, etc.

I sealed off the airlocks so nothing could get in and we proceeded to the living area. I kicked a button near the floor and a bed unfolded from a couch. We got in and soon fell asleep.

DeviantArt FurAffinity YouTube1 YouTube2 YouTube3
Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
02-23-2017, 06:53 PM
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Stingray Offline
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#10
 
RE: My new adventures with Chrysalis
2/23/2017

The day was a bit uneventful, but we spent some time running errands. I wish the weather was better so we could just walk around and talk more often. Least distractions. Not a lot of people around here either so I could get away with looking crazy talking to myself, lol.

I was trying to talk about films and politics - telling her my point of view on which films I thought were classics and masterpieces, what I thought of our system of government and how I think we could improve it, stuff like that. No responses, but she was a good listener.

In general she seemed happy. Not like excitable and bubbly like she tends to be on occasion, but really content. Yet, I can't help but have this feeling I'm slacking in some way. Her presence feels a bit weak, but she's constantly in my mind. I'm narrating to her tons more than usual. That's good, I hope I keep that up. I'm always picturing her nearby me. Though, I'm not getting headaches or pressures much anymore. Perhaps things are okay and I'm just slipping into the abyss of doubt again. Well this time I won't let it overtake me. Never again.

We went over some names for the ship in our wonderland. Our back and forth with names was funny - Me: "Titan" Her: "Renegade" Me: "Endeavor" Her: "Ishimura 2" - we eventually settled on TCS "Dreamscape" (we even wrote a file on it, check my user page for that).

Our wonderland adventure continued where we left off on Terra Six (I hope you guys don't mind us posting our adventures in detail here like this, they're just a lot of fun and we like sharing them).

This time I gave myself a wrist computer and the both of us some sidearms. We left the shuttle and went to check out the old ruins. There was a long dark tunnel leading to a corridor going left and right. Some old lights were still on, covering everything in an eerie orange glow. I lit the dark areas with an LED light on my wrist computer.

We went right and discovered a room full of factory machines and humanoid-shaped machine parts.

"An old robot factory," I said, "looks like there's still energy here. Should we turn the main power on?"

"Um, no" was her firm answer. "Remember that movie Virus?"

"Oh yeah, good point."

We left the room and went down the other end of the corridor. It led to a similar room. Next we checked a door nearby that was covered in plant roots. I did a bypass on the door controls and opened it up. We went into the room on the other side. It appeared to be a maintenance room similar to a surgical room, with operating tables and overheads lights, all that stuff. All rusted and corroded with time.

There were containers off to the side with humanoid figures preserved inside. Like human bodies, but I could see circuitry in the eyes.

"Ah, replicants basically" I said, "very human-like robots. Interesting."

"Like in Blade Runner?" she asked.

"Yeah. We should watch that together sometime." As I said that I was wandering to this other door that was blocked by a huge tree root. "I wonder how far this facility goes into the mountain."

"Probably miles."

"I wish we could find out, but we didn't bring cutting tools. Let's keep going another time." I noticed a computer nearby that still looked operable. "For now grab some data off that computer and put it on a floppy. We'll look it over in the archives room back at the Dreamscape."

She did so and then we left in the shuttle.

It amazes me how the corridor to the archives room as well as the room itself never change. They always look the same, give or take some little circuit or pipe detail.

I was losing concentration and said we should stop, so we did and decided to continue next time.

I was starting to see her a bit more clearly, like if I just held on to her mental picture I could impose her in the bed next to me, but it never stays. Instead I get like this ghostly outline that slowly fades away.

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Tulpa name: Chrysalis
Form: Queen Chrysalis character from MLP with minor alterations
DOB: 03/24/2013
Stage: Minor vocal
02-25-2017, 02:26 AM
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