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My progress log #wow #whoa


newdarkage

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Because I can't be arsed to rewrite this shit yet again to please the wordfilter:

 

http://pastebin.com/8SW1CNb4

 

TL;DR: A drunken diatribe. May be more or less remotely related to tulpa. I apologize for not emphasizing the important parts, but... well, all of it seemed to be kind of important to me one way or another. Sorry.

 

VVVVV

We are approaching echelons of irony you can barely even begin to comprehend. Who are you quoting anyways?

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Oh god, it's Kate 2.0.

 

inb4 tulpa lust

 

Whoa, I barely even mentioned anything about my tupper. Care to elaborate? I don't know what exactly you are referring to, but I'm... pretty sure I could either deny or confirm your suspicions, whatever the answer is.

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Alright, the last hurdle for visualization has been overcome. Turns out that all the time, the only thing that needed any change was her hair color. It's auburn now. I suspect that before today, my subconsciousness instantaneously stifled any deviation in that direction. I didn't realize that seemingly small things such as these could make such a huge difference. Yesterday, it was "Can't look at her face for one second without random shit changing left and right, despite having 40 hours of visualization under my belt", whereas today it's "Can perfectly see her from any angle in an instant". Glad this torture is over with. It feels like combining visualization and narration until she's vocal would be the logical next step, so I'll just roll with that.

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I'm at an impasse here. I know that most "tulpaforcers" are plagued by doubts of varying nature at some point. Some have less problems getting rid of them, some have more. Take a guess which part of the spectrum I belong to. Today, my tulpa seemed to move around quite a lot on her own, even when I wasn't paying attention to her movement whatsoever. Sounds like a good sign, right? Well, I figured that I simply learned how to unconsciously, and thus passively, puppet her. Maybe that's what being tupper is all about, but it lacked that feeling of unfamilarity most people report. Also, today the emotional responses I've been feeling were mostly absent. That's understandable, maybe tulpa need breaks, too. She had to witness me completely snap yesterday, after all. For these cases, I have a specific room in my wonderland I can send her to. She's supposed to be completely isolated from any outside influence while in there, but it's all just symbolism anyway, fuck if I know if it actually works.

 

So, since emotional responses, which I suspect to have been placebo all along, and head pressure didn't work today, I searched for another way for her to prove her autonomy. Well, I failed.

I got desperate at some point and made her the following offer "I'll try to completely release control over you now. Perform any sort of action, and I'll unconditionally believe it was you, and you alone." Well, before I finished speaking, the worst case scenario came true. She, uh.... yeah. She gave me a french kiss. My initial reaction was "What the flying fuck was up with that" and I absconded with maximum haste. It was literally the last thing I would have ever imagine to happen, so naturally I was unable to uphold my end of the bargain and thought it was just another product of my brain. She seemed to be visibly hurt afterwards, which confused me even further.

 

Note that all the doubts mentioned in this posts only arose after this perplexing event. Why would anybody ever do that for me? Why am I such a raging cunt? Questions upon questions. Being tulpa is hard and nobody understands.

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Anyway, about my tulpa. She's an original humanoid character, even though she took on a few traits of fictional characters I like via deviation, for whatever godforsaken reason. Her name's Valerie. Height is about 5'8". She has long, blonde hair and blue eyes. Her personality is basically purity incarnate, not much to say about that.

 

Check Pronas' progress log, his tulpa is at least similar.

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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>tulpa did something truly unexpected

>WELP MUST'VE BEEN ME

>mfw I don't have a face

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Maybe it's my fault through not mentioning every last detail that lead to this chain of events, but still, what a presumptuous way of misrepresenting the entire situation. It's certainly in the realm of possibilities that this was just an unconscious wish of mine that decided to manifest at that exact same moment, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt after coming down from that moment of shock.

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I hope you will take a look at the survey tulpas are filling and read all the questions regarding when the tulpa felt most disappointed in their creator.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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