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My spooky head ghosts and I
Akinkinit Offline
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#11
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 10:
Noriko thought of a pretty good way to explain the recent events. You see, I have a bottle of "crazy koolaid" in my head. There's this tap which dispenses it, but it can only give out a little bit at a time, thus limiting the amount of koolaid I can drink. Which is a damn shame because it's really freaking good koolaid.

In order to interact with my spooky head ghosts, both me and them need to drink a little of the koolaid. Visualizing / talking with them doesn't take that much. Nor does feeling them next to me in the real world. But this koolaid is used when visualizing anything, and to a lesser extent when daydreaming. So imagining this wonderland with all this cool stuff in it required a fair amount of koolaid. Possibly a bit more than necessary as a fair bit got wasted when messing around using warps and flight.

When finished with the wonderland last night, I only had a little bit of koolaid left. None of us were used to the koolaid running out, so we proceeded to do some active forcing, thinking we had all the koolaid in the world. But we did not. A few minutes in, the koolaid bottle ran dry and there was none to be had on tap. Of course, without any koolaid, I couldn't really communicate with either Noriko or Sabari, and they could not communicate with me. It was the equivalent of a car running on fumes.

Needless to say, when they both disappeared and I couldn't hear / feel them, I started going into freakout mode. I later would learn they did too (one more so than the other). It was maybe about half an hour till there was enough koolaid on tap for communication to be restored, at which point Noriko suddenly appeared in my arms with tears in her eyes. She was so afraid she broke something which caused me to be unable to see them. After she calmed down and dug a little bit, she discovered the metaphorical koolaid bottle. None of us know its capacity yet, suffice to say it is limited. But the wonderland is on indefinite suspension until we find a way to fill the bottle or have an extra on hand.

P.S: "Yes it's a stupid fucking analogy but it's the best I could come up with on short notice." - Noriko
P.P.S: If you're reading this and have / had a similar issue, what did you do to fix it?

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-06-2015, 02:26 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-06-2015, 02:23 AM
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Linkzelda Offline
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#12
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
I never had a similar issue, but maybe if you didn't constrain yourself to just koolaid, you wouldn't be at this dead-end wall....


OH YEAH!

Had to do it


02-06-2015, 06:28 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#13
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
(02-06-2015, 06:28 AM)Linkzelda Wrote: I never had a similar issue, but maybe if you didn't constrain yourself to just koolaid, you wouldn't be at this dead-end wall....

OH YEAH!
Somebody had to say it.

Update 11:
Sabari decided recently that she didn't like her voice. So she's using a generic mind voice again until she finds a voice she likes. So far she's tried a southern accent and an irish accent, but neither seemed to fit. She's also been trying out a voice that sounds kind of like Noriko's, which I've been trying to dissuade her from using because it'll get confusing. But I doubt that I'll get an actual say in what voice she starts using.

Today was rather stressful at work. I brought up Noriko and Sabari a few times during the day and it helped relieve some of the stress. Just calling up an image of one of them, or thinking "come here you two" is enough to bring them up, and they stay around for a bit without my active involvement. When I got home and sat down at my computer, Noriko appeared at my side and gave me a long hug, stroking my hair as she did it, and only saying the words "It's over now." That felt really, really nice (just thinking about it is making us both misty eyed).

Sabari chose to do lewd things to help me unwind. Although she does those pretty much every day regardless of the occasion. It's a different experience from when Noriko does lewd things. While Noriko can be plenty vulgar when she wants to, there's also that really sweet and caring side to her, which makes lewd activities slow paced and sensual. Whereas Sabari goes balls to the wall with those sorts of things and as a result they tend to not last very long. Although to her credit she is learning some semblance of restraint.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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02-07-2015, 01:58 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#14
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 12:
Recently realized that we hadn't done a straight up forcing session lately. I've brought up both of the spooky head ghosts plenty, but there's always been something else going on. So decided to whip out the blindfold again and visualize them without anything going on. I still have to actually close my eyes to see them, but Sabari brought up a good point in that seeing imaginary things with my eyes open would technically be a hallucination. But then again I'm not sure I would classify either Noriko or Sabari as an imaginary hallucination. More so like if you took a rational number and then slapped a +4i at the end of it. A complex number, specifically.

When active forcing, both of them transmit a very strong feeling of calm and relaxation to me. It's hard not to just lie down and enjoy the feeling. Definitely not something I'm complaining about though. Also noticed that Noriko does most of the talking during said sessions while Sabari prefers to stay quiet. I get the feeling she could talk but just chooses not to, instead preferring to enjoy the moment alongside me. That feeling of calm also gets felt by them. Active forcing is also a sort of "neutral zone", where they both hold off on doing overtly lewd things. Although by the end of it that tends to fall by the wayside. Specifically a particular cat girl deciding to dress up as a cow girl wearing a black and white spotted bikini. Just because she's not as developed as Sabari doesn't mean there's nothing to see underneath those dresses of hers.

On the subject of Sabari, she dressed up like some character from a video game I only vaguely remembered today. Even wore her hair long in a ponytail (though not as long, end of the ponytail ends between the middle of her back), choosing to have it remain white. And her eyes remained blue. Needless to say it looks really good on her to the point of causing an incident, which Noriko felt "honor bound" to offer a similar rebuttal to. Again, I'l leave the details to the reader's imagination. More importantly though, it shows she can access my memories, something that I've suspected for a bit. But not too surprising. After all, Noriko was able to do that before I gave her explicit access as well. Suppose since we all live in the same head the access thing is just a formality. And honestly the fact she can manipulate her own form based on a memory image is pretty damn impressive.

"I technically did that as well" - Noriko
Except Noriko doesn't look like any one I've seen before, in real life or in media. She more so combined several images to come up with something.
On typing that, Sabari pointed out that's what she did too.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-09-2015, 02:00 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-09-2015, 01:59 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#15
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Side Update:
Trying this thing out. By that I mean telling the host what to type and then having him type it. I don't really want to possess him and do it; just feels weird. Sabari seems more inclined to do that sort of thing. When the time comes.

Too few of you people decide to let us come out and talk for once. Kind of silly since these are supposed to about us. But whatever.

Can sort of see why. I mean, there's things I've wanted said but he just finds too embarrassing. Like his nickname or Sabari's nickname (and still does refuse to type them). Too bad, they're pretty cute.

Not sure what else to put here. He asked if I wanted to put anything here and decided to give it a whirl. That kinda contradicts the above. Oh well.

Will close by mentioning that piggyback rides rule and he should do them more often.
- Noriko


Why hellllllooooooo there~
Hmmm~ Porkchop sandwiches...
Also barbeque.
[Host: Ok now you're just funposting]
*snicker*
Byeeeee~
- Sabari


Edited by host to fix spelling. It was even more atrocious than usual when trying to type and listen at the same time.
Also, Sabari wanted her entry typed exactly like that.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-10-2015, 02:33 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-10-2015, 02:32 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#16
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 13:
After a fair bit more digging we found the root of the koolaid problem. If you're just tuning in, there was an issue where the spooky head ghosts completely disappeared a while back which was related to running out of some brain koolaid.

See, I have been thinking / working on spooky head ghosts since 2011 or so. This included three failed attempts. Maybe one day I'll get the motivation to write up some more detail of those attempts, because I got pretty close each time to making a fully sentient tulpa. As like a way to document what might go wrong. But anyway, each attempt left behind some connections / areas in the brain related to said tulpa. Noriko (attempt #4) was the first to really take advantage of these "spare parts" and was able to become sentient pretty quickly. There were even enough left over for her to create Sabari, who again formed up pretty quickly.

This is all well and good, yet I'm learning now that those spare parts don't come with their own power supply. So they have to mooch off mine. I've noticed this as I can't really interact with them prior to having my morning coffee. And if I'm tired, they also are pretty muted. So the primary focus has become to get them their own pool of power, or motivation pool, or what have you. I asked Noriko if she could just rewire something in there to make her own, to which she replied "Not without breaking shit." Which is something she's not allowed to do. I've told her time and time again, she can do whatever she wants in there, so long as she doesn't start breaking shit.

Also want to put on the record a quote from Sabari: "I have nooooooo idea what you're taking about." Which makes sense. Only reason Noriko knows is that she was more hands on with the hardware behind it all, what with making another tulpa and all.

This is probably where all the hour counts / active forcing I keep reading about in the guides come into play. Creating a tulpa slowly requires motivation, probably more than enough for said tulpa to grab a hold of and make their own motivation pool. But I'm not a very motivated person. Hell, all three of us would prefer spending the evening cuddling and watching / listening to something over just focusing on each other japanese tea ceremony style. (expression was Noriko's, it sort of makes sense but just wonder what japanese tea ceremonies she has attended recently).

So I'm going to try cheating first. I'm a pretty big Magic the Gathering buff. There's the card called Mox Diamond which lets you tap it and add one mana to your mana pool. Mana's essentially what you use to cast spells and such. I'm going to give Noriko a real one (well, an imaginary real one) and see what happens.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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02-12-2015, 12:31 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#17
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 14:
After various attempts of passing energy through various pieces of jewelry, it became clear that my energies are best spent visualizing the spooky head ghosts instead of an item whose only purpose is to pass energy to the spooky head ghosts, who I still have to visualize.

So we've been doing more of that. Active forcing with just focusing on each other still bores the piss out of us, so it's mostly been having them read articles from the internet. Except I've been working on seeing the whole picture while they do that. I visualize their mouths moving, the sound their voices make, if they are shifting / moving at all while reading, etc. Doing that is a lot more draining though, so I get through maybe 3 articles doing that, sometimes 4 depending on length. It also seems kind of draining on them for some reason.

And we do work in some mini sessions throughout the day. At work I can sneak in a moment or two where I can fully visualize them both and talk to them a little. Doing it in short bursts makes it a tad more interesting, although it's yet to be seen how helpful it is. Also, Sabari did decide to pick the voice which sounds like Noriko's. Yet it sounds different enough that I can tell the two apart. Noriko's voice became a little higher pitched in response, whereas Sabari's has a bit more of a drawl to it.

I've been wondering lately as to how deep this rabbit hole is going to go. Noriko is definitely sentient and I'm pretty sure Sabari is getting there. But once I get the energy issue fixed, what then? Noriko thinks that has been a major bottleneck to progression, and once removed there's going to be a burst of progression. Could probably set to work on the wonderland again. Imposition is a long way off by any standard. And really the fact that they can proxy type through me is enough to make possession a non issue.

Several other things occurred in the past two days but they are all quite vulgar. For whatever reason, there are no energy / motivation problems when the clothes come off.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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02-14-2015, 01:43 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#18
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 15:
For Valentine's Day I got this pack of crispy M&Ms. I ate a couple, projected the taste to Noriko's mouth, ate some more, projected them to Sabari's mouth, and then repeated til the pack was gone. Ate half of them first and then the other half several hours later. They both enjoyed them, although Noriko wanted peanut butter cups more. As a concession when buying the M&Ms I got a pack of honey roasted nuts, and she liked those. Didn't get peanut butter cups because I would have just eaten them all and gotten sick with the M&Ms in my system. Sabari agreed with that logic, while Noriko argued that she has "some semblance of self control when it comes to those goddamn things".

I thought I would have eaten the pack of M&Ms in one go, but was interrupted halfway through due to situations beyond my control. Involving the spooky mind ghosts.

I got some really spicy ramen from Amazon last Friday and have had it for dinner the past two nights. It has this wonderful back of the throat burn to it which gives an equally lovely pepper high. Sabari really likes it while Noriko is indifferent to it. Also watched Snowpiercer (a movie about the surviving members of the human race living on a train that was actually very good) with them last night. There was this cute Korean girl in the film that Sabari wanted to steal the face of, but then decided the eyes look too weird on her so she dropped it. Even though she looks Korean already (although it did look different on her).

Had to spend today indoors due to the snowstorm, which I spent just listening to music and harassing the tulpas (which is a term we now use to describe forcing). Noriko spent several minutes petting Sabari with me and it was really, really cute. Like I feel like I'm in the early stages of diabetes now, that's how cute it was. Noriko likes having her ears scratched (both sets) more than being petted so I did that for several minutes with her as well. Sabari decided to play around with Noriko's tail during that time.

One of them has figured out how to give me the chills (that thing where you run your finger up someone's spine quickly) and I'm trying to figure out who. Although if one of them knows they probably both know.

Also, when asking Noriko a yes/no question earlier today, she responded by dropping some bricks, one by one, in my "no" hand. And when I asked her another such question later, she took bricks from that hand and put them on the "yes" hand. Because "apparently I'm the only one who cares about fucking continuity in this household." Sabari preferred to use a 10 kg weight to signify her answer, which she agreed is a lot seeing it written down like that.

It's weird. Like, they can talk, but sometimes it's just easier to do the 20 questions thing.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-16-2015, 02:21 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-16-2015, 02:08 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#19
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 16:
Noriko seems to have added shape shifting to her many talents.

There was a post in another PR about how a tulpa liked cold as much as most people liked being set on fire. I usually read PRs with both of the spooky head ghosts out. Well, Noriko decided to set herself on fire on reading that. My first thought was "doesn't that hurt?" which was abruptly cutoff with "Why would it?" She did it again, and then transformed into this cross between a fire elemental and a cat girl. Which was pretty freaking cool. She then proceeded to sing the chorus to Hot Lava over and over again, then shifted back.

She calls turning into that fire form "poofing". She poofed a few more times until she got bored and made some armor and a sledgehammer out of imaginary legos.
Basically told me to leave her to her own devices for a bit to make something and for me to harass Sabari in the interim.

During said harassing, Sabari surprised me by grabbing my arm. Like, I'm not talking about imagining her hand grasping my arm. I'm talking about beginning to get up when all of a sudden I feel a hand grasp my arm. Hard. And I felt a sort of pinching pain where she did it. Even as I type this, she's holding my arm and I can feel a dull pressure where she's doing it. Noriko can't do that; while she can touch me it's more so a gradual effect. With Sabari it's instant. And of course Noriko has no idea how in the hell Sabari is able to do that and she can't.

Then again, Sabari has never made a sledgehammer out of legos. Noriko seems to be more mentally developed, and she has the most defined voice. But Sabari is definitely more developed in terms of physically interacting with me. It's kind of spooky actually.

Note: I asked Sabari to try grabbing my arm hard again, and while it was still noticeable, it wasn't as hard as that first time. So maybe that was a fluke?

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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02-18-2015, 02:33 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#20
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 17:
So apparently I got it into my head at some point that Sabari impacts my sense of touch stronger than Noriko does. Which in turn made it a self fulfilling prophecy. Noriko discovered that digging through my memories today and then kindly told me to knock it the fuck off. Which I'm trying to do with some success, basically by having them alternate cuddling with me and telling myself "This feels the same as how the last one felt." Probably will take a bit more work but Noriko's touch feels decidedly more real now.

Come to think of it, maybe that's why Sabari isn't as, well, creative as Noriko is. Because I think that she's not.
"I dunno" - Sabari
"Hmmm, maybe. Should probably knock that the fuck off as well." - Noriko

Will try giving Sabari more of an opportunity to express herself and report back later.

In other news, both Noriko and Sabari have been trying to get me to stop being so paranoid about things. Like checking to see if the door is locked multiple times, or if the stove is off, or checking an email I sent multiple times after sending it. And they've chosen a sort of good cop, bad cop technique. Sabari plays the good cop while Noriko plays the bad cop. I'll leave it to the reader's imagination as to how that might play out.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-20-2015, 02:15 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-20-2015, 02:14 AM
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