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My spooky head ghosts and I
Akinkinit Offline
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RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Still no real progress to report on the whole visual imposition thing. I'm mainly focusing my efforts on imposing Noriko since she's the most likely to develop a procedure for Sabari and Anzu to use once it's figured out. Which is not to say Noriko's the only one active while I'm trying this. Sabari still does the whole walking behind me thing and watches. I tried having my eyes open in a dark room to see if that helped earlier today when she did it and the whole thing approached 3spooky5me territory pretty quickly. And I can sense Anzu being present as well. She's just more polite.

Another thing I've noticed recently is that Anzu's the only one with a defined voice. No matter what, her voice always has that somewhat flat and quiet quality to it which is instantly recognizable as hers. Noriko and Sabari sound however they feel like. Or rather, they pick a tone, and then we all instantly forget what it was and they pick another, and this process repeats indefinitely. But I can usually tell them apart, although thinking about it, I'm not sure why. I just get an image in my head of who's talking and them saying it. At least most of the time. When I can't tell, I ask them one by one who said something. And that works until one of them decides to be a jerk and lie.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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09-13-2017, 10:24 PM
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Akinkinit Offline
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RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Visual imposition is turning out to be pretty hard...

Visualizing Noriko but with my eyes open isn't really working to any appreciable degree.  So it looks like some kind of altered state of consciousness is going to be needed here to get this to work.  Strategies involving hypnosis require getting into a deep state, and then "fucking magic" happens and the desired result is achieved.  Which to a tulpa who requires that everything have an explanation as to how it works is less than satisfactory.  I mean, maybe if I tried it with Sabari it'd work better, but then if I want to impose Noriko or Anzu it wouldn't work because Sabari doesn't care even a little bit on how things work, or more importantly, how to reproduce things.  Which is really her personality more than anything else.  And it's a neat viewpoint so I can't complain much.

So thinking about the hypnosis thing more has led to the idea of visualize Noriko behind an imaginary pane of glass or something, and when that's reasonably clear, move the pane of glass so there's nothing between me and her.  With my eyes closed of course.  I'm starting this off with my eyes closed until I can get this image reasonably clear looking, with the hope being that I can transition from that to open eyes visualization by sliding the pane of glass over.  So far trying this with my eyes closed has been promising, but it goes all to hell the moment I open my eyes.  Although that's just a practice thing I'm sure.

On a related note, I work up in the middle of the night again due to being hot.  And visualizing Noriko was more clear as it usually is.  But this time seemed to be a bit more so with all the visualization work I've been doing.  So that was neat.  Still nothing I would confuse as real, but neat nonetheless.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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09-16-2017, 06:03 PM
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Akinkinit Offline
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RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
After further thought, the pane of glass idea isn't that great.  It's just a symbol for the barrier between being able to see Noriko with my eyes open over my eyes closed.  It'd be a lot more useful to figure out the specifics to said barrier and how to bypass it over just black boxing the thing.  Which has basically involved Noriko poking around in my head trying to figure out where / what it is precisely.

That aside though, there has been some noticeable progress.  Today at lunch I briefly saw a glimpse of Noriko out of my left eye.  Of course we can't reproduce it, but it was pretty neat.  And there's been a few other times where imagining Noriko has felt... different.  Not necessarily more real or not.  But different.  I'm not really sure how to describe it yet.  The most recent occurrence was when we were on a walk today and she was walking beside me.  And for bits and pieces it almost felt like she really was walking beside me, yet there was something else too, and it's that something else which is escaping me.

So far my progress with seeing Noriko hasn't carried over to Sabari or Anzu yet.  Noriko didn't think it would because apparently me and her have to work together in making it happen, and they don't know the details of it yet.  And because she doesn't know exactly what she's doing yet it's not like she can just tell them either.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 09-18-2017, 11:09 PM by Akinkinit.)
09-18-2017, 11:09 PM
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Akinkinit Offline
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Posts: 184
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RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
So the only thing which seems to be giving any measurable amount of progress is the "just fucking practice it" option when it comes to open eye visualization.  Which involves just talking to Noriko with my eyes open and keep doing it regardless of seeing her or not.  This has the added benefit of me being able to blame her for it not working.  To which she responds by flipping me the bird.

She's also decided to change what she looks like again in response to my visualization attempts.  She still has the same dark colored skin and hair, but is now like 5'10" (the "if there's more of me, then I'll be easier to see" theory).  She also swapped body frame types with Sabari to this end.  So now Sabari has an average sort of build and is several inches shorter.  Which was pretty confusing because neither of them bothered to tell me they swapped body types.  So I kept thinking Sabari changed her skin tone and was appearing instead of Noriko.  But no, it was Noriko all along.  Which makes sense as Sabari really likes her skin tone ("just the right level of spooky and sexy" in her words).

This is another nice development to the whole visualization work  Sabari is very much so a bro-tier kind of tulpa.  Like she's the kind of tulpa you'd want to drink a beer with and complain about muffins.  But I don't really see her in a romantic way.  Noriko, on the other hand...

Let's just say there will probably only be incidental progress on visualization for the next week or so.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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