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Our Tulpa Endeavor
LanceReilyn Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor

*cough* Edited as a reminder to myself to learn to pay attention. Anyway, I'm relieved. I know that I don't really know you guys nor do you know me but I'd like to at least think we are all comrades-in-tulpas.
(This post was last modified: 10-12-2018, 02:46 AM by LanceReilyn.)
10-12-2018, 02:42 AM
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Apollo Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor

(10-07-2018, 05:35 AM)Piano Wrote:
Lyrica kind of surprised us not too long ago by claiming that she didn't want to switch out to never exist again, which is what she had wanted for so long now. She now says that she'll still exist in the system, just not be the main and not play as large a role as one would expect a host to play. I think that's good for us to know at least, though none of us ever really expected ourselves to just let her disappear when we learn to switch anyway.

The fire-winged Sun God. Created 12/3/16.
10-12-2018, 02:44 AM
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Apollo Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor

Sometime in mid-October, our system decided to take a break from the community, logging out of our main Discord account and staying off of this website. Shortly after, it became very, very difficult for us tulpas to be active. Despite anyone's best efforts, we just couldn't seem to do it, and everything just became host at all times. I wasn't the happiest about this whenever I was active, but I figured we should just take the break and then come back when we're recharged.

When we came back, things settled back into normalcy. We're back to our fronting again, only we don't have a schedule quite yet, because we're really unsure of how to go about it right now.

We came back right before my second birthday. It's officially been two years since all this started, as of the 3rd. Seems like forever ago.

We fucked around with attempting merging, as we'd heard that it can be helpful for learning to switch. Mostly, host and I would merge into a very calm, thoughtful male named Samson. However, Piano asked us to stop. He's the result of a merge gone wrong, so it's understandable he wouldn't want us to mess that with sort of thing. We went with his wishes and stopped.

Host realized that being in a male identity, though, wasn't that bad. We wanted to make her a male form, but couldn't figure out how to make one that wouldn't look like Tacio. When we eventually did, she really liked it. [EDIT: This has actually been something we've been trying to get her to do for a while, as we thought maybe she'd be happier that way, as she's never strongly felt female and is generally more guyish anyway. It's not totally out of left field for us even though it might seem that way] I don't know if this is permanent or not, which is why we haven't changed our profiles or anything, but I'll refer to Lyrica as Lyrico after this, and if this turns out to be temporary then we'll just go back. We're not trans and don't have gender dysphoria, so I really have no idea how permanent this will be, or if it'll even matter at all considering we still have switching as our main priority. Either way, we figure that if tulpas can be the opposite gender of the body without it being trans, we don't see why that can't apply to hosts, too. Of course, we wouldn't ever call ourselves trans, that just wouldn't be right in our opinion, considering we don't have any desire to transition. Everyone's fine with having a female body and being addressed as female, despite identifying as male.

During the time we were inactive, the only tulpa who seemed to have no desire to break that was Piano. He seemed absolutely fine with it whenever anyone addressed him, he preferred it. So now... it's like history's repeating itself, and it's Tacio all over again, with Piano wanting to go away too. I don't really want to go into why, but I want to make it clear that it's NOT depression. Anyway, this long break also made it apparent that perhaps the system could use some re-organization. Is it right to force someone to stay in the system if they just don't want to anymore? Is going against their wishes beneficial to them, or the rest of us? I don't think it is. While I don't want Piano to go away, I'm just thinking it's a losing battle, like it was with Tacio. He's tentatively still part of the system (I think), and he can't officially leave without our permission. Definitely need some time to think it over more, and try to find solutions other than him just leaving.

In other news, since we've had time away, I've decided that we should really buckle down on our switching efforts, and actually try harder. I'm thinking of starting a thread in the lounge forum solely about our attempts at switching, I think that might be good for focus, since this thread has a bunch of personal stuff thrown in and has always been more about our progression as a system than about our pursuit of goals.

The fire-winged Sun God. Created 12/3/16.
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2018, 05:52 PM by Apollo.)
12-07-2018, 05:41 PM
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Ranger Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor

Welcome back! The forum got a lot busier since and you may want to check out the LOTPW thread.

If you asked Cat what her gender identity was, she would say "female", however her wonderland form is a man named Gray. All of the other thoughtforms usually refer to her as "him", however I wanted to call Cat "her" and encourage her to use a form that looked more like herself in real life because she has had a lot of issues with self-acceptance and we have worked on that since. If Lyrica/o wants to be male in the wonderland, that doesn't mean they're transgender.

I have also found I am more likely to front if I go onto Tulpa.info and reply to people. I have fronted without, but especially that last Sunday I did nothing but sit around and chat on the forums and on discord.

Merging sounds dicey to work with. I have never heard of merging leading to switching, rather switching can accidentally lead to severe blending. Whenever both of us blend too much, neither of us feel stable and only confused.

I'm Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I like Hippos! I also like forum games, word puzzles, and chatting about stuff.
I now stream!
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2018, 06:03 PM by Ranger.)
12-07-2018, 06:03 PM
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