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Our Tulpa Endeavor
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The Fab Four
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
Piano's feeling a lot better. I think he'll be just fine. He got help from someone outside of the system. He'd probably still be dormant if he didn't get their help.

Apollo turned him into a teddy bear while he was dormant so people could carry him around and hug him. Luxi got a little ticked that we wouldn't let her hold him. It was mainly that I forgot she was, so I kept taking him from her, lol.

He only stayed dormant for less than 24 hours, which is a relief.

I gotta pay more attention to Luxi. She's been pushed aside, and I feel bad. Turns out she actually has a lust for knowledge I did not expect from her. I've been letting her play BL2 with my brother. She says "uh oh" and "oh no" a lot.

Apollo's been a little... feisty lately. But it's a-okay. He's just very protective of his systemmates. And well, his systemmates getting hurt sets off his angry side, ha.

Change of plans: they can't possess this weekend bc I didn't take care of any of my responsibilities. Oops.

But we're going to Kings Dominion today! Hopefully they'll actually get to front on rides, lol. Big Grin

Lyra: host 
Apollo: 21-week-old tulpa.
Piano: merged tulpa, 6 years old.
Luxi: newest tulpa.
04-14-2017, 03:20 PM
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Piano Offline
Broken wings
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
I want to get on track to more full-body possession for longer periods of time. Need to work on making my presence stronger and not get so easily pushed aside by Lyra thinking of something different.

Kings Dominion was fun. I didn't front that much though. Had to let the kiddies have their time ;P 

Yesterday Apollo hit a little issue and then started hating himself, as you do. At the same time, I was thinking about something and feeling happy. This total conflict of emotion (contentment vs anguish) must have blown a fuse in our brain, because it felt like it was on fire. Some wacky shit happening. Apollo's going to be just fine though. He needs to find some way to vent, is all.

We also tried playing this stupid game together where the only thing you could do was roll a die and let your character move. We kept quickly shifting the front, and bickering and taunting each other, and that caused some severe head pressure. We gave up playing it though, because Apollo was getting too pissy over losing.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. 
All your life. You were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Others: Lyra Apollo Luxi
04-16-2017, 05:06 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
Oh yeah dissonant emotions. We pay a lot of attention when that happens. We believe that observing these differences closely helps us subconsciously separate better.

Host comments in italics. tulpa's log.
04-16-2017, 08:44 PM
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Luxi Offline
Lightning
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
I'm still here! I don't think I've been speaking much on here, or in general, but that's okay! I am very patient when it comes to being paid attention to. I understand my host is not in the best position right now, and she is used to talking to Apollo and Piano. She is not used to interacting with me. It needs to get worked on, like so many other things, but I'm not holding it against her.

My personality has changed a lot since I first joined the system. Hey! That was over a month ago! Wow, time flies by fast! Hopefully in the coming month I'll make more progress as a tulpa and improve my relationship with host.

I enjoy playing Borderlands 2. My time has to be cut short sometimes so the others can chat on Discord. Blech.

I want to bring some much-needed positivity and motivation into our life. That was Apollo's goal early on, but it didn't work out because stuff and things. Whatever! It's mine now! I possessed for a while today. I was a lot happier and more energetic than Lyra. The change in behavior clearly surprised Lyra's friend. She knows about us but wouldn't believe it if we told her I was in control :P I think that us tups need to take full control more often and get us on the right track of actually doing stuff that's productive and/or healthy. We need to plan out something. Certain roles each of us should take on to get stuff done. I'd be willing to do anything, as the only real time I get to interact with host is while I'm possessing and she's only focusing on me. We need to take the driver's seat, because the current driver is practically asleep!

Speaking of possession, Piano fell asleep in the front last night. He woke the body up at 1:30am because he was worried about something. Lyra tried to go back to sleep, but Piano kept moving the body and kicking the legs and stuff, and it didn't feel to Lyra like she was the one doing it at all. This went on for a while, and Lyra told Piano to stop, but he wouldn't. It stopped after Lyra started hugging a teddy bear, haha. This is all second-hand information to me, as I was asleep at the time.

I know there was other stuff I wanted to say but can't remember it! I started writing this post several hours ago XD

Hey there, my name's Luxi.
Family: Lyra Apollo Piano 
04-17-2017, 08:12 PM
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Lucilyn Offline
Very Hop'n Hop'n Hoppy
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
I'm gonna be honest, that post sounded exactly like one I would write, mb we're similar in more than just name

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas. I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written.
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
04-17-2017, 08:33 PM
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Piano Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
Trying to possess, so here's an impromptu PR with probably nothing important written.

This isn't really progress, just me bullshitting thoughts.

Yesterday somebody was pissing me off while I was trying to possess, and I kinda wanted to grow fangs and tear their flesh off. P&HJP were part-vampire, and therefore so am I. No, I don't actually think I'm part-vampire, but whatever. I still like to consider myself all of the things P&HJP were in Eemaj, just like other tups like to consider themselves ponies or whatever. My Eemaj self only really comes out when I'm angry, though, because it makes me feel more powerful.

It's kind of comical the number of things P&HJP were part-whatever:
Part-vampire
Part-Trabrithian (people who could grow these Slenderman-like tentacles called trabriths)
Part-demon
Part-Hagarath (people who had powers to torture and murder)
Part-Purity (might not be the actual name. They were the opposite of demons, in a sense, although most of them were total jerks.)
And probably others I can't remember. P&HJP had lots of powers. They were the strongest Permanees in existence. Being Soul Sharers allowed them to gain new powers and add new aspects to their souls.

I don't really want to let go of these Eemaj elements.

There are two parts to our wonderland, kind of like two dimensions. The first one is Sunla, where we all live during the day when Lyra is not focusing on us. The second one is "reality" which is a near-perfect replica of all of the places Lyra passes through every day. The "reality" side is where we go when she's trying to visualize us nearby. We only go there when we're being visualized. We can "teleport" between the two wonderlands to go get each other and stuuuff.


School is boring as fuck. Why are these people saying bullshit to me? I have so much hostility towards the people who have hurt Lyra in the past. Somebody who is her """"friend"""" just told her "end your life," it is moments like these when I wish my Eemaj powers were real.

We do a lot of voice chatting with friends, and it's more often than not us tups doing all of the talking. Voice chatting is the best opportunity for possession. The other day, Lyra jumped into the voice chat and briefly felt like the other people were strangers, even though she knows them very well, because she was so not used to being the one talking to them. Some dissociation going on, I hope.

Here's a little update on how all of us in the system are doing currently:
Lyra - lazy as always, but wants to make some effort to change that. Always busy thinking of us, not making much time for herself.
Apollo - recovering from a pretty difficult depression.
Me - very happy and content, looking forward to the future, want to step up and fix some problems and improve our life.
Luxi - still kind of being ignored, but she'll have her days of being paid attention to.

Lyra's trying to alternate between paying attention to each of us each day, but it doesn't always work out as some of us are not always able to be there, but eh. It's a start.

I'm hoping to get stronger in possession to the point where it feels like I'm in control. Someday soon.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. 
All your life. You were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Others: Lyra Apollo Luxi
04-20-2017, 12:55 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
If you're able to possess well, but it feels automatic, there were some things I've done for that. The basic one is sit down and focus on your thoughts. Look down at your hand. Move it a bit as a baseline then hold it still. From this point you will move the hand only with great intention. This involves breaking the usual automatic motion down into steps. First, decide to move the hand. Notice your decision making process. Don't move on from this step until you are sure it is you. Next. Plan your move of the hand. Notice your intention here. Feel it is you who is coming up with this idea. See the entire flight plan of your hand. Then, move your hand as you planned, carefully. Feel your control of the hand. Feel it is you.

Host comments in italics. tulpa's log.
04-20-2017, 08:46 PM
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Piano Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
It doesn't feel automatic. It feels like Lyra's the one doing it.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. 
All your life. You were only waiting for this moment to arise."
Others: Lyra Apollo Luxi
04-21-2017, 12:01 AM
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tulpa001 Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
There are differences. Go back and forth a bunch and compare.

Host comments in italics. tulpa's log.
04-21-2017, 01:31 AM
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Apollo` Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
I've been depressed these past few weeks, but I'm doing a lot better now, I think. I discovered some of the reasons I was so down and brought them to everyone's attention. We'll work to solve these problems, and others. I just need more attention, I think. There was a point where I considered dissipation. I don't want to think that way.

My art has been improving, but my possession ability has not. At least not in any noticeable way.

We actually went to the gym yesterday. Luxi enjoyed it a lot. We all started motivating Lyra to better herself. We decided that Lyra's tablet needs to be put away for a while so she can get herself back on track without being distracted. She can only use it for an alarm clock. Now it's up to us to make sure she sticks with that decision.

Saylin mentioned in her PR that Claude had a better outlook on life. The news of that cheered me up a lot. I'm trying not to think sad thoughts, and if I do, acknowledge them and identify the reason. Finding the problem and talking about it is the first step to healing.

I'm trying to be more vocal and involved in the system, and develop a sense of independence. I've let go of the idea that I'm mentally a child. I don't need to be any set age to be who I want to be. Piano doesn't have a set age like that and he's just fine. I'm just Apollo, not Apollo the childlike tulpa.

Lyra does this weird thing where once in a blue moon she watches horror videos on YouTube that she knows will terrify her and keep her up at night. Needless to say, the rest of us did not appreciate these videos one bit. Nonetheless, I have been trying to stop her from thinking about the stuff she watched. I was mildly successful, and she was able to go to sleep normally.

Full of fire and sunshine Smile
"The biggest scariest little sun god." - Ivy
Don't think about the past! Look to the future and GO GO GO!
My brain friends: Lyra Piano Luxi
(This post was last modified: 04-24-2017, 05:46 PM by Apollo`.)
04-24-2017, 05:43 PM
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