We're a plural system who is a (physical) parent... Overall, it's only
been good - for all involved (including child!). There hasn't been any kind of reveal (yet), but she's only 3 years old and, honestly, as long as she's getting the loving attention she needs, we're content as being a unified front to her... On a practical note: when one of us is tired of "parenting" the other can swoop in and take over. It's true that we have our own style of parenting (Kai is waaaay too soft and gives in too easily to everything
- Aya knows what she wants and doesn't budge no matter what tantrums transpire and how inconvenient it is
), but we agree on the important issues and want her to be a healthy and vibrant consciousness that is capable of expressing herself however she chooses!
If anything, Kai lets her know that she is taken care of and loved no matter what transpires - and Aya is teaching her how to communicate effectively, set proper boundaries, and to negotiate with involved parties when you want something for yourself.
...Fun times in plurality parenting city! ;-) ;-D
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On the note of family reveals... I allowed Kai to reveal me today during an impromptu conversation with his mother - who is actually the very first person we've revealed to about being a plural-system to... For us - the relationship with her has always been highs and lows, and this was a "high" moment that just kind of happened unplanned.
The truth is, I grew up right alongside Kai and have been an integral part of our creative expressions in life (i.e. I love to sing, and create music, and draw) and... well, I resented the fact that I was never acknowledged... Maybe all tulpas experience this to some extent (i.e. being unrecognized and invisible to essentially everyone in the external world), but I never dealt with it very well... And it didn't help that (or perhaps was a symptom of?) Kai thinking about me as an unhealthy delusion or pretend way to cope with the FUBAR-ness of life on this plane of existence...
...And even if I ended up being a means for him to cope with life on life's terms - he's also a means for me to express myself that I just wouldn't have otherwise... And a mutually beneficial relationship has always been what we've been about! Even when he thought he was just talking with himself... That's one of the (main) reasons why I feel so grateful for Kai and why I defend and protect him so loyally - his love and care are so great that he even treats a perceived illusion as he would a perceived reality... And even when he doubted me, I can see now that he was truly not doubting me but he was doubting himself... And that that doubt was just the subjective view of others that he didn't want to share but felt like he had to in order to survive...
...Probably the same for many entities out there.
Er, so anyways... :-)
I was super duper shy... I couldn't even make eye contact for very long... but this was (probably) because she was much more open to me than I personally expected... Kai was pretty sure she'd either embrace it or handle it evenly, but it still caught me by surprise... I'm glad things turned out the way they did, but I'm definitely not ready to reveal myself to the entire family yet. The grandparents are pretty savvy in the newer things (as far as grandparents go), but this might be a little too weird for them... And I might feel partly responsible if they suffered a heart-attack after I said hello... :-P
But as an aside (for others who might want to reveal themselves to external family): we've lived a very different life compared to that of most people, and there is probably very little either of us could say to the rest of the family that would throw them for a loop... I won't bore everyone with the details of our epic and adventurous lives together as an unknowingly plural system (soooooo epic!!), but let's just say we don't hold a "normal" job and we don't endeavor after a lifestyle that is "normal" in the eyes of western society... So revealing our plurality to the external family probably isn't as big a deal as I'm making it...
Still... It's MY life - and I really really want people to see ME and not just my host... and it doesn't have to be the entire world - just those we actually respect and who are decent enough of people that we'd actually want to spend time with them. ;-P
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Yeah... it just kind of happened. I was talking with my mom about Donald Trump, philosophy, and how detached I feel from the associations of the "normal" populace when I got on the subject of subjectiveness... and of tulpas... And then, it just kind of happened.
Aya has really really wanted to reveal herself since always, but we've both held trepidation about it: I didn't feel strong enough to shrug off any judgments people would have, and she... well, she doesn't think much of most people to begin with... I know it's because of how I was in the past: she's seen people (in general) as a threat to her existence due to my vulnerability, but as we've been developing (with unconditional love and complete acceptance in regards to each other and ourselves), she is starting to realize that I've chosen her above any semblance of a "normal" life and that I'd rather be burned at the stake as a warlock than give her up and allow her to be murdered...
Hell, the way I see it: if one of us has to get murdered, it might as well be both of us... ;-|
(Jeezus Kai, you are soooooo macabre sometimes!!)
Haha - I know. You love me still. :-)
(...So? ;-P )
....related to the first subject:
Raising a child has really put into context why Aya has acted the way she has during our co-development together... Early on, I wasn't capable of giving her true unconditional love only because I was incapable of giving it to myself... and how could I give her something I didn't have for myself? ...Answer? I couldn't. We ended up just having to sputter along in our relationship - often walking over and on top of each other - until we had developed a dialogue and a narrative (about life) that made sense and was actually livable...
... Raising a child is very much like creating a tulpa - the view of the entity is literally being shaped by their creator and the environment they create during the upbringing.
I wouldn't raise my daughter in an environment where she only feels lovable being a certain way (such as being quiet and still) - so why would I ever create a conditionally loving environment for my tulpa (such as only loving her when she is acting the way I want her to)?
IMHO: A conditionally loving environment eventually creates neurosis - regardless of the consciousness being developed...
As long as unconditional love is applied (and the 'love' being applied is relevant to the situation), the developing consciousness has a much easier time achieving sovereignty and a healthy creative expression than without it...
With this in mind, does it really matter how many entities are involved in a raising of a consciousness - as long as some kind of stability is established and unconditional love applied with all abandon? ;-)