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Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
Kitsukrou Offline
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#1
 
Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
Hello, everyone. I have been a member of this forum and have known about tulpae for several months now, so I think it is about time for me to begin a progress report. I'll start by giving some background information on my history regarding tulpae.

I first stumbled upon this site in July of 2013, and became fascinated by the idea immediately. I started making a tulpa back then, but did not commit to it nearly as much as I should have, and stopped after awhile mainly due to the start of school and general laziness on my part. I do not believe that tulpa I had started and scrapped had ever become sentient, yet I still feel somewhat bad about it.

Later on, at the end of January this year, I began an entirely different tulpa. His form is that of a Pegasus, somewhat MLP styled, but more realistic overall. He has kind of a light brownish caramel colored coat, a short, choppy mane and tail which both are striped black and light gray, and dark red eyes. He stands at about 2 feet and one inch. I've drawn some pictures of him before, I might post those here sometime.

I worked on him rather dillegently for awhile, and later began to slack off, yet always kept him in mind and spoke to him occasionally, just to make sure he stuck around. Recently I've picked up working on him more, which is the main reason I am starting this progress report now.

He has not spoken to me definitively yet, though I do think he is sentient. The most prominent experience I've had with him as of late was on the 11th day of creating him. I was in my wonderland with him, just narrating, when out of nowhere he jumped into the air. Normally, I would consider something like this to be an intrusive thought, but I could tell the difference with this, it was unlike anything that had ever happened to me, and truly surprised me. It might not seem like much, but it's something to me.

Yesterday, I had the first long active forcing session with Alex I'd had in awhile. I was greeted with intense head pressure which persisted after I was done with the session, and it actually kept me up. I proceeded to have a bunch of weird dreams, as forcing had somehow gotten me into a rather strange mindset.

Anyways, I believe that keeping a progress report on here will help me consistently keep working on Alex. Stick around for more, I will try to update daily or at least a few times a week.

My progress report
My tulpa group on Deviantart

To leave the past behind, to proclaim that the truth was a lie, is the equivalent of damaging one’s own future.
10-14-2014, 03:39 AM
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Kitsukrou Offline
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#2
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
Well, first of all, forcing did not go too well last night. My earbuds, which were expensive and of rather good quality, stopped working on one side last night. Why exactly is this a problem? I unfortunately have gotten into a habit of practically needing to listen to some form of binaural beat track or tone to actively force. I believe I could force just fine without listening to one if I tried, however that would take awhile to get used to. I usually listen to Fede's tones, particularly tulpatone or clairvoyant focus. I had to use my crappy backup earbuds, which have absolutely horrible sound quality.

I discovered today that my good earbuds do in fact still work, if I bend the cord in a certain way. Hopefully they can be somewhat reliable tonight so I can get some productive forcing in. Last night I was only able to force for about 25 minutes before losing focus entirely. I felt much less head pressure overall today, which is not the best sign.

Additionally, I can't seem to decide on a wonderland. In the past I had used a YMCA camp I used to go to as a wonderland, but after awhile I started wanting a simpler one that was easier to focus on. I have always had a very good imagination, however, I am often plagued by intrusive thoughts while trying to tulpa force or create a wonderland of any kind. The most annoying one I have persistently had is falling through the floor of whatever wonderland I am in. It sounds silly, I know, but it is a legitimate problem I face nearly every time I attempt to immerse myself into a wonderland on any level. It is rather difficult to prevent, and I don't know why it is happening.

Has anyone else who happens to be reading this had a similar problem?

Anyways, for now I believe I will be using the YMCA wonderland yet again, and see how things work out.

My progress report
My tulpa group on Deviantart

To leave the past behind, to proclaim that the truth was a lie, is the equivalent of damaging one’s own future.
10-15-2014, 01:13 AM
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Kitsukrou Offline
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#3
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
So, last night, forcing went unexpectedly well. I still have not received any responses from Alex as of now, that is not what I mean by saying that forcing went well. I tried listening to a track that I had never tried before, which can be found here: http://www.iso-tones.com/MeditativeVisualization.mp3

It gave me a sense of calm that I have never felt before. I was able to focus on my wonderland much more clearly, without the issue of falling through the ground repeatedly. I was able to narrate more consistently to Alex during the session without being interrupted by random mental chatter or intrusive thoughts, as well. (I also decided on using my school as a wonderland rather than YMCA, it is simply easier to visualize since I am there so often.)

I basically went over Alex's personality, by writing down traits on a whiteboard whilst he sat and watched. I am not dictating every aspect of his personality as some people tend to do, what I am doing is setting a base for him and allowing him to grow from there. That base is the ENTJ personality type, which stands for Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging. You can read about it here: http://www.16personalities.com/entj-personality

Anyways, regarding the intense calmness I experienced, it helped me progress through the day today as well. I was extremely confortable all day, unusually alert, and had a better overall memory for things. I did not expect that the effects from listening to that track would last throughout an entire day, but they did.

Tonight, I will be listening to the same track, and attempting to communicate with Alex in some way. I will also try to passively force throughout the day more often, as I tend to get distracted easily when I passive force.

My progress report
My tulpa group on Deviantart

To leave the past behind, to proclaim that the truth was a lie, is the equivalent of damaging one’s own future.
10-16-2014, 01:27 AM
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Kitsukrou Offline
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#4
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
I do not have much to report, so instead of talking about my recent forcing, I suppose I'll just share my thoughts on something that happened not too long ago in the tulpa community.

I am sure that most of you have heard the story of Oguigi and Koomer, who went too far in the possesion aspect of tulpamancy, which lead to many negative effects on Koomer, the host, one of which lead to him hardly being able to control his own body.

A while later, after he was able to get his life back in order, he decided that he was going to completely end doing anything tulpa related altogether.

I understand that what he went through was horrible, but if you read his last post on his Tumblr, what he says is slightly aggravating. He claims that tulpae are no more real than any type of fiction, and that creating a tulpa cannot solve any life problems. While I understand that in his case, the creation of a tulpa eventually lead to a decrease in the quality of his life, he is speaking about that as if that would be the case for everyone. From what I have seen, people who create tulpas are happier in general than they had been before. What had happened to Koomer has never been reported to happen to anyone else.

Secondly, with his statement that "tulpas are no more real than any type of fiction today", he is basically denying everything he had went through. The fact that his tulpa had been the dominant controller of his body for months should have been enough to prove to him that she was real, but now he is discounting her as if she never existed beyond being a simple character with a name.

Before Koomer had decided to quit Oguigi altogether, it was clear he had a handle on his life. Oguigi was there, but she could no longer possess him. Therefore, he could have lived normally and safely from that point onwards while still having Oguigi.

While it was Koomers choice as to what he did, I think he did not make the best decision in the end. He got rid of someone very close to him, and despite all of the problems he encountered due to the prolonged possesion, Oguigi had never tried to harm him.

I apologize for the rant, I just needed to get my thoughts on Koomer and Oguigi out there. I'll be posting actual updates on Alex sometime soon.

My progress report
My tulpa group on Deviantart

To leave the past behind, to proclaim that the truth was a lie, is the equivalent of damaging one’s own future.
10-19-2014, 12:36 AM
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dener Offline
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#5
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
(10-19-2014, 12:36 AM)Kitsukrou Wrote: I do not have much to report, so instead of talking about my recent forcing, I suppose I'll just share my thoughts on something that happened not too long ago in the tulpa community.

I am sure that most of you have heard the story of Oguigi and Koomer, who went too far in the possesion aspect of tulpamancy, which lead to many negative effects on Koomer, the host, one of which lead to him hardly being able to control his own body.

A while later, after he was able to get his life back in order, he decided that he was going to completely end doing anything tulpa related altogether.

I understand that what he went through was horrible, but if you read his last post on his Tumblr, what he says is slightly aggravating. He claims that tulpae are no more real than any type of fiction, and that creating a tulpa cannot solve any life problems. While I understand that in his case, the creation of a tulpa eventually lead to a decrease in the quality of his life, he is speaking about that as if that would be the case for everyone. From what I have seen, people who create tulpas are happier in general than they had been before. What had happened to Koomer has never been reported to happen to anyone else.

Secondly, with his statement that "tulpas are no more real than any type of fiction today", he is basically denying everything he had went through. The fact that his tulpa had been the dominant controller of his body for months should have been enough to prove to him that she was real, but now he is discounting her as if she never existed beyond being a simple character with a name.

Before Koomer had decided to quit Oguigi altogether, it was clear he had a handle on his life. Oguigi was there, but she could no longer possess him. Therefore, he could have lived normally and safely from that point onwards while still having Oguigi.

While it was Koomers choice as to what he did, I think he did not make the best decision in the end. He got rid of someone very close to him, and despite all of the problems he encountered due to the prolonged possesion, Oguigi had never tried to harm him.

I apologize for the rant, I just needed to get my thoughts on Koomer and Oguigi out there. I'll be posting actual updates on Alex sometime soon.

Ineresting, what you said dose makes sense. Smile

People are stupid, are tulpas too?
10-19-2014, 12:52 AM
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Cinemaphobe Offline
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#6
 
Default  RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
(10-19-2014, 12:36 AM)Kitsukrou Wrote: I understand that what he went through was horrible, but if you read his last post on his Tumblr, what he says is slightly aggravating. He claims that tulpae are no more real than any type of fiction, and that creating a tulpa cannot solve any life problems. While I understand that in his case, the creation of a tulpa eventually lead to a decrease in the quality of his life, he is speaking about that as if that would be the case for everyone. From what I have seen, people who create tulpas are happier in general than they had been before. What had happened to Koomer has never been reported to happen to anyone else.

Secondly, with his statement that "tulpas are no more real than any type of fiction today", he is basically denying everything he had went through. The fact that his tulpa had been the dominant controller of his body for months should have been enough to prove to him that she was real, but now he is discounting her as if she never existed beyond being a simple character with a name.

Before Koomer had decided to quit Oguigi altogether, it was clear he had a handle on his life. Oguigi was there, but she could no longer possess him. Therefore, he could have lived normally and safely from that point onwards while still having Oguigi.

While it was Koomers choice as to what he did, I think he did not make the best decision in the end. He got rid of someone very close to him, and despite all of the problems he encountered due to the prolonged possesion, Oguigi had never tried to harm him.

I apologize for the rant, I just needed to get my thoughts on Koomer and Oguigi out there. I'll be posting actual updates on Alex sometime soon.

Preach it. You don't need to apologize for the rant, because if you hadn't ranted then I wouldn't have learned the details of the Koomer situation.

I seriously can't believe that such people as stupid as Koomer even exist. I have always promised myself that if I can't make a tulpa, or if a bad tulpa-related event happened to me, that I would never whine and say that tulpae aren't real simply because I have failed and I want to take my anger out on the world for not having success.
Something like that is what 4-year-olds do. They can't get the toy that they want, and everyone else has it, so they raise hell for everyone to compensate for their feeling of loss.

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

Yumi + Cinema
10-19-2014, 10:31 AM
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dener Offline
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#7
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
none.

People are stupid, are tulpas too?
(This post was last modified: 10-30-2014, 04:08 AM by dener.)
10-28-2014, 05:27 AM
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Cinemaphobe Offline
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#8
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

Yumi + Cinema
11-06-2014, 09:12 PM
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Kitsukrou Offline
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#9
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
It's been awhile, hasn't it? Yet again, I had hit a block in tulpaforcing. Things were going well for awhile, but went downhill due to me losing motivation and having problems with focus and setting aside time for Alex. This has happened more than once, but fortunately, I've never found myself wanting to quit tulpamancy altogether. I keep coming back, and one of these days, I will be able to make significant progress on Alex without stopping. All I really need is a breakthrough of some sort in order to motivate me- something such as a sign of sentience. I got one long ago (The sudden and unexpected movement from Alex that occurred 11 days after he was created)yet have not received anything definite after that that could be interpreted as a sign of sentience. Then again, I am not surprised as I was putting the most effort into his development around the time that happened.

Though I have not been tulpaforcing Alex, he crosses my mind many times just about every day. This is because he was originally planned to be a character in a story I began planning before I knew what tulpae were- and I am still mentally developing that story. However, while thinking of him within the story, I tend to think of him as a character rather than a tulpa. Therefore, it really isn't helping him in any other way than developing his personality and keeping the idea of him at the forefront of my mind. At least it's something, right?

Since spring break is here, I'll be setting aside as much time as I can for him. During this week I have off, maybe I will make some kind of a breakthrough in his development. Wish me luck.

My progress report
My tulpa group on Deviantart

To leave the past behind, to proclaim that the truth was a lie, is the equivalent of damaging one’s own future.
03-23-2015, 04:39 AM
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Kitsukrou Offline
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#10
 
RE: Rising From The Ashes: Kitsukrou's Progress Report
Yesterday, I found a set of questions someone came up with that looked like they would be useful for anyone thinking of making a tulpa. Though I already have a tulpa, and have been working on him on and off for over a year now, it sort of feels like I am restarting the process in a way. I know that some of my progress will stick, yet after not having worked on Alex for such a long time, some things have, of course, regressed. Therefore, I decided to answer these 17 questions. Here are the questions and my answers to them:


1. Why do I want to make a tulpa?
This isn’t here to shame or judge you for your reasons, plenty of people have had questionable motives going in, and they and their tulpas turned out fine. Having said that, though, if you aren’t comfortable with your answer, then you may want to reconsider your motives or look deeper into your own mental and emotional situation before creating one.

Answer: The main reason I want to make a tulpa is the same reason most people have for making one: close companionship. Since tulpae are likely to understand you on a level no physical person can, the friendship you have with them is much stronger than an average friendship. While being my main reason, this isn’t my only reason, as having a tulpa can have a great array of interesting uses, such as possession and imposition. Things such as these let you experience things you likely never have before.

2. What is my tulpa likely to think about my reasons for creating him or her?
Imagine yourself in your future tulpa’s situation and think about your answer. Remember that your tulpa is a friend who will understand you like no one else, but underneath it all should still be considered a thinking, feeling being with his or her own unique perspective.

Answer: This, of course, depends on the personality my tulpa ends up having. While I already have one in mind for him, he may change it on his own in the future. I don’t think he will object to any of my motives, unless he is the type of tulpa who enjoys spending a lot of time on his own, not having contact with me for large periods of time. In that case, he would dislike my main motives, unfortunately, as I want a companion who is usually readily available to talk.

3. How will I react if I have unusually slow progress?
Though most see progress in a matter of months, at the extreme, some people take several years before getting a response out of their tulpa. Frequently in these situations, the tulpa reports being self-aware with a mature, stable personality already in place well before two-way communication is had.

Answer: Slow progress is my main fear regarding tulpaforcing. Because of this, slow progress would be the greatest hurdle I would have to overcome, as I am not the most patient of people when it comes to blindly believing something will happen. I would face the risk of giving up if it took too long, which is why I must learn to never give up if I am faced with slow progress. I would also do some research and find new ways to go about tulpaforcing which may spark faster progress. I would try several things until I found one that worked best for me.

4. How will I react if I have unusually fast progress?
Fast progress, although exciting, can also be an issue as your tulpa may be able to make itself a nuisance and interfere with your life before really getting to know themselves, let alone you and how to best interact with you.

Answer: Fast progress would be a dream come true for me. Even if I weren’t fully prepared to have a vocal tulpa so early on, I would celebrate the fact that it happened so quickly, and then begin working at things such as possession.

5. How will my daily routine be impacted by creating and maintaining a relationship with a tulpa?
Remember that tulpas require time and energy, just like any friendship. Setting aside some of both for your tulpa here and there goes a long way.

Answer: I tend to have problems with setting aside time for both assignments and people, as I am a major procrastinator and spend way too much time doing nothing productive. Once my tulpa is vocal, this won’t be nearly as much of a problem when it comes to setting aside time for tulpaforcing, but before he is vocal I may have issues setting aside the time he needs to properly develop, as forcing before vocality seems like nothing but a tedious chore to me. I also need to make sure that he is able to get my attention at just about any time when he is vocal, so he can be present in my life even when I am not paying any attention to him.

6. How will my life be better due to having a tulpa?
Obviously you’ve thought about this a little bit or you wouldn’t have gotten this far. Now is your chance to get specific about all the good things you hope having a lifelong companion in your head will bring you.

Answer: Life will be better with a tulpa as I will have something in my life that very few people have heard of or let alone experienced before. I will have someone who I can share my life with whilst hiding nothing, someone I can talk to at almost any time, someone who can give me extra ideas and opinions on things I am doing, someone who can help me remember things I otherwise would have forgotten, along with many other things.

7. What sort of things will I spend time doing with my tulpa?
Remember a tulpa is a companion who is with you all the time and is nourished by your attention. Knowing what sort of things you’d like to do with them--at all stages of development--is helpful to staying the course.

Answer: The main thing I would like to spend my time doing with Alex is practicing possession. He will eventually be another mind as complex and sentient as my own- the therefore should be allowed to experience the world through a physical body some of the time. However, that is something for later on. In the beginning, I will spend time narrating to him, and teaching him everything about the world he needs to know. I also hope to create a consistent wonderland (Which I’ve had difficulties with in the past) and explore it with him.

8. What sort of problems will I expect my tulpa to help me with?
Lots of people credit their tulpas with helping them through difficult situations, but remember that although a tulpa can be a great emotional and mental support, a tulpa is not a counselor and doesn’t magically have access to knowledge or skills that you don’t.

Answer: I don’t expect him to help me with everything I ask him to do, of course, though if he were to help me with school assignments, that would be nice. Of course, he’d have to pay attention in class and have access to my memories for this.

9. How will my life be worse due to having a tulpa?
Life isn’t all sunshine and roses. You will have disagreements with your tulpa, and your tulpa may occasionally get in the way of things you want or need to do.

Answer: I will have to give up time that I used to use for other things, though in the end it will all be worth it. If he is to have problems with developing or functioning as he or I would like him to, this may cause emotional and mental stress for I and him. I would have to give up a lot of time and energy correcting such problems if they arise.

10. Am I prepared to help my tulpa through any mental or emotional problems he or she may develop?
Tulpas can develop insecurities, hang-ups, or (in extreme cases) mental illnesses that are distinct from your own. Give some thought to what you’ll do if this happens. Hint: It’s easier to talk out problems while they’re still minor.

Answer: I would do my best to help him through any problems he has, no matter how severe. I will not let him dissipate under any circumstances, unless he wants that for some reason.

11. What will I do when I have a serious disagreement with my tulpa?
The good news is that tulpas grant a unique opportunity for perfect communication with another being. The bad news is that you will need to be totally honest with your tulpa since keeping a secret from one can be rather difficult.

Answer: I would try to reach some kind of a compromise if faced with a large disagreement, as I would with any person. If it were to be regarding something I highly value, such as possession, however, I might try to convince him to go by my side only, even if it took a long time.

12. What will I do if my tulpa dislikes my friends/family/significant other?
Tulpas have their own personalities, and just like your physical friends don’t necessarily like each other, they may not agree with your choice of friends.

Answer: I would simply try to make sure that Alex has no contact with those people, so he doesn’t act rudely to them in any way. It’s best to avoid those you dislike unless they’re directly causing a problem in your life.

13. Who will I tell about my tulpa (if anyone)?
You’re certainly not obligated to share your tulpa with anyone, but you may want to for a variety of reasons. Likewise, your tulpa may or may not want to interact with people on their own.

Answer: I would only tell those who I were sure would be able to understand it. I would think of how open minded the person is, and how likely they are to believe in something as strange as a tulpa. Before I tell anyone, however, I would educate them on the subject so they wouldn’t confuse it with something such as DID.

14. What will I do if they react negatively?
Not to discourage you, but it could happen. Tulpas can be a touchy subject that most people won’t understand, so think carefully before deciding to be open about it.

Answer: If they react negatively, I would never bring it up again around them, and simply avoid the subject altogether. Alternatively, if it is apparent they are misunderstanding something, I’ll do my best to teach them everything they need to know, clearing their misconceptions and allowing them to understand it properly.

15. What will I do if they react positively?
On the other hand, some people will be intrigued or even enthusiastic about your new friend.

Answer: If they react positively, I, of course, would be happy, and would allow them to speak to Alex via possession or the internet if he is vocal.

16. What do I think life will be like for myself and my tulpa in 5, 10, 20, or even 50 years?
Tulpas can last as long as you live and over the course of many years can become just as strong a force in your mind as you are. What will you be like as an old man or woman who has another mind running around inside their head?

Answer: As time passes, I hope to have Alex become as much of a person as I am, and rival or surpass me in as many things as possible. I intend to keep him around for the rest of my life, and would not dissipate him even if I were to eventually dislike his form or personality- especially considering he will change and grow as time passes as well.

17. What do I think life will be like for myself in the same amount of time if I don’t make a tulpa?
This is the default situation: most people never even consider making a tulpa. Considering the long-term effects of both alternatives can help you decide where your priorities and interests lie with regard to tulpa creation.

Answer: Without a tulpa, life in the approaching years would probably be not quite as interesting as it would be with a tulpa. I do not want to live like a “normal” person for the rest of my life. I might have more free time, but that is not worth it when it comes to having a lifelong companion otherwise.

My progress report
My tulpa group on Deviantart

To leave the past behind, to proclaim that the truth was a lie, is the equivalent of damaging one’s own future.
03-23-2015, 10:28 PM
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