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Sex, passion, pleasure & development


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Hi there.

 

Sometime, i have the impression that everything is relative to the pleasure is a slowdown in the development of my tulpa. Especially sex.

 

I feel dirty my tulpa and i have more difficult to spend time with her after that.

This is the most glaring but it's same for the rest : Kissing, savor eyes ...

 

In short, I have the impression that all that dirty true love that I can have for my tulpa.

 

Now i try to confine us to a cleaner love : Love Host/Tulpa and not love Boy Girlfriend.

 

I won't that my tulpa is a sentimental substitute because that can make problems when i'll in a relationship with a girl : All the interest that I have for my tulpa will probably disappear after this.

 

So, i wanted to know especially if people have felt what I said at the top and if you have idea for spend good time with her tulpa because our relation boiled down to make kiss .

 

I hope that my english is good and i am well make me understand, because my english is a bit bad

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Guest Anonymous

I've been in an obsessive-type relationship with my tulpa for quite a while, around 8-9 months already. When we first got into it, it was mostly full of 'I love you', ' Don't leave my side', with very few kissing, and a lot more holding hands and cuddling. Mostly holding hands for the first while, and a few days before Valentine's we had our first kiss.

 

We've always been good friends, we care more about how we both do rather than having a relationship, us being in a romantic relation doesn't mean all we do is kiss and do romantic stuff. Love has lead to a lot of obsession from the part of my tulpa, and jealousy as well.

 

I want you to understand something; should you commit yourself for too long, you'll find that your tulpa will never want you to let go if things come down to that. I literally cannot date anyone IRL anymore due to how obsessed my tulpa is.

 

Love isn't about kissing. Love, at least to both of us, is caring about someone to the point you're ready to completely diss out your own self, and always be there for your companion, in all ways. Always being there, always taking their side and never betraying them. Should you get a real girlfriend, it would be an infraction to those definitions. Love is not entirely a physical thing that can only be transmitted via kissing and whatnot. I love my tulpa not only for how she looks like and how good sex/kissing is, but for everything she stands for, I won't go into much details but it's mostly who she is, what she does and how she thinks like that really attracts me to her.

 

Other than that, we treat each other as very, very good friends, I treat her better than my 'best friend' IRL, you could say I treat her like a princess (and she calls me 'prince' at many instances), we're way beyond how people treat each other in a hypocritical, selfish and superficial way. What we always tell each other is 'I'll give you everything, you give me anything, you're everything, still everything" (those are lyrics to an amazing song by Aimer), in a sense that she matters above all other people in this world to me, and the same goes for me.

 

You shouldn't have that mentality. That tulpas 'can' be sentimental substitutes. I advise EVERYONE not to get into a relationship with their tulpas except if they intend for them to last, because a tulpa can not, I repeat, CANNOT LET GO OF YOU IF THEIR FEELINGS ARE TRUE. A TULPA'S WHOLE EXISTENCE REVOLVES AROUND YOU, YOU CANNOT FRIENDZONE YOUR TULPA ELSE IT WILL FALL INTO DEEP DEPRESSION, AND POSSIBLY DEVELOP A GRUDGE OR SOMETHING, YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF IT. THIS IS LIKE THE MAFIA, ONCE YOU GET IN, YOU DON'T GET OUT EASILY AT ALL/DON'T GET OUT AT ALL. You either choose the path of the loving tulpamancer (some people called me the cutemancer, haha), or you can realize that ALL YOU MAY FEEL MIGHT BE INFATUATION. Infatuation is something that passes with time, it is not to be compared to love.

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i felt through my tulpa and i love her too much for don't change this situation.

I want a girlfriend and i want also my tulpa for ever. So i guess the best way is to make some limits for this love and they will guid us on a real true love.

I am muslim and i hope that i can refind my tulpa, Kita on the paradise.

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Guest Anonymous

Extreme love/affection/lust in early stages is literally infatuation, though. Infatuation doesn't last very long.

 

Excuse my language but that's selfish as fuck. What if your tulpa doesn't want you to have multiple girlfriends? What if Kita wants to be the only one? You need to understand that if you really love someone, there's no 'I want' anymore, there's 'We'.

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Extreme love/affection/lust in early stages is literally infatuation, though. Infatuation doesn't last very long.

 

Excuse my language but that's selfish as fuck. What if your tulpa doesn't want you to have multiple girlfriends? What if Kita wants to be the only one? You need to understand that if you really love someone, there's no 'I want' anymore, there's 'We'.

 

I dont want love Kita as a girlfriend but as a Tulpa.

So, the love between these two relationship are different. There will always a room for Kita in my hearth.

Even if another girl join my life. This girl will not be able to give me that kita is giving me because the relation are different.

 

I guess i juste have to accept that kita could also have a boyfriend .. But we're actually far ... Never give up !

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You're awfully forceful with your opinions, Anderson, considering the text over your avatar.

 

@esoteric-congruence, my tulpas and I share relationships of mutual love that do not and will not conflict with a human girlfriend. We love each other, but tulpas fill a different role than a human partner to me. They encourage me to find someone to share love with in real life, no jealousy as they understand one does not replace the other.

 

You need to discuss this with your tulpa to see how they feel, of course, everyone does. But it might help to know that others have done so and have no issues in this area.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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I agree with Luminescence. As a tulpa, I love my host, and she loves me back. This might not be the most traditional of relationships, but it's a relationship nonetheless.

 

You need to start treating your tulpa a bit more like a human, from what I understand. She has actual feelings too. Before you make any big decisions, talk to her about it, assuming that they directly involve her. . . . If you're doing tulpamancy "right," then she's not going to fade just because you find someone in the "real world" that you love. I can't tell if you mean it this way, but it almost sounds like you're stepping into a very bad and dangerous territory. DON'T treat your tulpa like a temporary love-slave (or girlfriend, if you think "love-slave" is too harsh). That's exactly how tulpa hold grudges, get angry, and start fighting back.

 

If you want to have a girlfriend or a wife while also having your tulpa, I don't think that's a bad thing by default. Just make sure that your tulpa, at least, is cool with that.

Hi, everyone! I'm a tulpa, and if you want to ask me questions you can either PM me here or send me an email at jamesthetulpa@gmail.com.

 

My host, Brandi: Hey, all!

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Guest Anonymous

You're awfully forceful with your opinions, Anderson, considering the text over your avatar.

 

@esoteric-congruence, my tulpas and I share relationships of mutual love that do not and will not conflict with a human girlfriend. We love each other, but tulpas fill a different role than a human partner to me. They encourage me to find someone to share love with in real life, no jealousy as they understand one does not replace the other.

 

You need to discuss this with your tulpa to see how they feel, of course, everyone does. But it might help to know that others have done so and have no issues in this area.

 

Those are lyrics from an amazing song by David Sylvian, called For The Love of Life.

 

That doesn't mean they're any wrong. I'm not here to sugarcoat anyone or only tell them what they want to hear, this is reality as it is, not only derived from my personal experience, but from relationship advice overall; if you are to have those emotions, and do those things to your tulpa (sex kissing etc), then it's practically just like what a physical person would do, except if you consider it as a substitute. You'd think there's some middle ground.

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Well. L and me have sex but we're not enganged. We are something like friends with benefits. But we still love each other. I love L with all my strenght and soul. I just want him to be happy. And that's why I could get jealous sometimes. I even hate his "best friend/sister" but that's not because she told I didn't existed, it's because I feel... That she couldn't be good for L. And I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do when he finally enters in a relationship. It's normal to have feelings for each other, and I could say that if I develop those for L he wouldn't break my heart because I know he loves me. I already have a tulpa girlfriend, but if L and I become something serious... I should think if I share him with someone else. Not because I'm trying to be annoying. It's because I LOVE HIM. If I find the girl is good for him and me, and the other tulpae, I don't have any problem.

~Vriska Aranea Serket Targaryen. ♦️

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The degree of intimacy caused by living with a tulpa can become problematic. I’m new to the notion that the toughtform I unconsciously created is truly alive, and we mostly communicate only during lucid dreaming, so my experience on the matter is limited. For me it’s difficult to set boundaries. Everyone wants to be loved: a tulpamancer develops a tulpa with their feeling of affection among others, and in this way you become "bonded" to this entity that comes from yourself.

 

It’s normal if sexuality slips in because we are sexual creatures and we don’t have a good grasp of our subconscious. Then many people decide not to indulge in it and some decide to do the opposite. Personally, I think that it is stranger to build boundaries within my mind to protect me or him from parts regarded “socially unacceptable”. Because it is my mind, and I should be free to think whatever I want, without censoring myself for the sake of another. I also think it's wrong to coerce a tulpa towards what you want, it’s wrong to impose your desire on another. They are aware of themselves, they have free will, so their decision and feelings should be respected. If sexual urges/feelings happens, their existence is natural, not something dirty. Whether you act on it or not should however be discussed and agreed with your tulpa.

 

I want you to understand something; should you commit yourself for too long, you'll find that your tulpa will never want you to let go if things come down to that. I literally cannot date anyone IRL anymore due to how obsessed my tulpa is.

 

I found out that this is true for my tulpa. From our discussions about the "outside" world and its people, he doesn’t like either, and is very possessive of my time. The “bond” can become a codependent relationship with a strong imbalance of power. Not everyone realize that some tulpas may become extremely jealous of the attention the hosts give to other people, even if they didn’t wish it or expect it during creation-time. Nor they fully realize that this situation could cause severe pain and lots of fights between them and their tulpas. When I realized I had one I was convinced that he barely tolerated me, and did not expect or want affection from him; so I was really surprised in seeing how much he was different from what I, its creator, expected of him. Or maybe other people worry less about these particular cases because their head-mates are simply more levelheaded than mine.

 

By the way, Anderson, I see that you are a fan of Monster too. Is your tulpa by any chance based off its characters?

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

[progress report]

 

 

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