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Star visits another World
Flopsi99 Offline
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#11
 
RE: Star visits another World
Well then...,

since my last post... a _LOT_ has changed. Which is actually the reason why its been so long since I wrote here.

First of all, everyone who has even only took a glimpse at this report would know that I usually go for a lot of stylizing, bold text, underlining in my texts, and that was a lot of work, but from now on I'll stop doing that for 2 reasons.

1) It's a big commitment to write a big article all the time which takes forever and demotivates me to continue doing them.
2) I see that noone is doing it besides me either and I have actually been told that it's kinda weird and doesn't need to be.
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Well then how do I start expressing myself here.
I can be most straight forward and say I have become a slob who doesnt know how to keep himself to a scedule and miscalulates almost every step lately.

1) I have been missing weeks worth of active forcing sessions, because I just fall asleep during the day and wake up way too late for anything in the evening.
2) The other... more understandable (?) reason is that I have gotten myself into a relationship, which leads to me rather talking to the person in question than to Star.
3) Another thing is that, including a relationship and a lot of strenghening friendships in my reallife I am out of the house almost every single weekend and I just feel... awkward to leave "the group" to sit in a room all by myself to focus on Star, I talked to the people there and they are fine with it and find it reasonably important but I can't get myself to do it at someone else's place somehow.

At first Star got really mad at me for missing out on forcing time and time again.
Now she just seems to idle and accept it... to be honest that's even more demotivating.

Also I've been dealing with random depression lately which have been coming up from nowhere. 
(I am pretty sure they are related to something in my past, but there is so much I couldn't pinpoint one thing)

Also since months now, I am just in a weird idle state between healthy and sick, basicly always having some throat-ache for like 3 days, some fever over the weekend, slight common cold for 4 days... It's been gnawing on me.

Obviously all of that is slowing me down so much that I barely force anymore and that makes me even sadder, since I was having steady improvement with Star.
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To put it short, my friendships are getting better, giving me less time while my bodily and mental health is decreasing giving me less motivation to do something.
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Re-Reading this what I am about to post sounds a lot like just random whining... I hope I can somehow make clear that it's not that. I want to continue and I'll try to get back into it, I am trying to give my best to stay positive, but a lot is hindering me and I'd love if anyone would get to me and maybe link me some stuff they found that helped in some similar situations or maybe just talk to me (PM, Reply, if anyone wants to I can link my steam/skype/discord/whatever available) or atleast just not be disapointed. This can kinda be seen as another example of how life might throw rocks in your way I guess.
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Actually putting some real "Progress Report" value into this could include the following:

-Star can still not talk, but I have somehow been able to recognise her answers to questions from time to time, she is also able to tell me stuff by just general body language I guess and for simple yes and no, she can just nod or shake her head, but if my visualisation is really bad again I also gave her 2 HUGE wooden signs with one meaning yes and the other meaning no, which he can hold up to tell me.

-I improved the wonderland/dreamscape/whatchamacallit to be more than just 1 room in the nowhere, I actually put some effort in it and its not hard for me to recall it in detail now.

-My visualisation still sucks but I became really good at working with what i've got, to the point where I can weirdly immerse myself really well without actual visuals.

----

Thanks for reading.

-Florian
(This post was last modified: 11-14-2017, 11:53 AM by Flopsi99.)
11-14-2017, 11:51 AM
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Lucilyn Offline
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#12
 
RE: Star visits another World
(11-14-2017, 11:51 AM)Flopsi99 Wrote: 1) I have been missing weeks worth of active forcing sessions, because I just fall asleep during the day and wake up way too late for anything in the evening.

How can you wake up "too late" for tulpa-forcing? You can do that in a pitch black room with no sound... Actually that's preferable for some people. But you can do it anywhere as long as you can focus on your tulpa (ie not while driving or socializing - you can talk to them at any time later, but while working on vocality you need a little more focus dedicated to them). Don't get caught up in bad habits, everything is a lot more flexible than you think! Think of all the amazing things people have done with really limited resources, surely you can find more than enough time to force your tulpa here and there. And when Star's vocal it'll be waaaay easier to "force" her with less dedicated focus, because at that point it's really just interaction not forcing. 'N you can talk to her wherever, even while driving or when you're not doing anything else at a party or something.

(11-14-2017, 11:51 AM)Flopsi99 Wrote: 2) The other... more understandable (?) reason is that I have gotten myself into a relationship, which leads to me rather talking to the person in question than to Star.

Congrats, hope it goes well! Tulpas can accompany you even to places and times that a significant other can't though, like, I dunno.. When you're alone and having a hard time at work or something, or even during a (minor) surgery and stuff. So I wouldn't say there's a reason to stop forcing her altogether!

(11-14-2017, 11:51 AM)Flopsi99 Wrote: 3) Another thing is that, including a relationship and a lot of strenghening friendships in my reallife I am out of the house almost every single weekend and I just feel... awkward to leave "the group" to sit in a room all by myself to focus on Star, I talked to the people there and they are fine with it and find it reasonably important but I can't get myself to do it at someone else's place somehow.

Congrats again on a good social life! A lot of tulpamancers are at least a little lacking in that department, and those that aren't tend to have a little less time to spend with their tups. But you always have when you come home for the day, or when you're otherwise alone. And when your tup's developed enough you can really talk to them whenever. Like, Lumi learned to do imposition by having Reisen Tewi and Flandre walk with him between classes at college. Also sometimes they sat with him during lecture classes too. See, you can do that sort of stuff whenever! It just takes a little dedication at the start to get your tulpa ready for those scenarios.

(11-14-2017, 11:51 AM)Flopsi99 Wrote: At first Star got really mad at me for missing out on forcing time and time again.
Now she just seems to idle and accept it... to be honest that's even more demotivating.

This is really common yeah, Lumi gets depressed about it sometimes. We don't mind being inactive but sometimes he gets sad he doesn't spend more time with us, because it's potential time we could've been happy or having fun, in his words. But I still don't mind, I just appreciate all the time I do get. Buuut it doesn't hurt to spend more time with your tulpa if you feel like that. Again I'm sure you can find bits of time here and there. I don't know how much trouble you have just focusing on her, but even just 10-15 seconds of attention at a time multiple times a day is way better than nothing at all. In fact for some people that sort of long-term consistency is way more useful than intermittent sessions. Like, Lumi would probably do better with that, lol. We're working on being more consecutively-active recently.

(11-14-2017, 11:51 AM)Flopsi99 Wrote: Also I've been dealing with random depression lately which have been coming up from nowhere. 
(I am pretty sure they are related to something in my past, but there is so much I couldn't pinpoint one thing)

Also since months now, I am just in a weird idle state between healthy and sick, basicly always having some throat-ache for like 3 days, some fever over the weekend, slight common cold for 4 days... It's been gnawing on me.

Well a long time ago Lumi found out just how important it is to get all the right vitamins and nutrients your body requires for your general well-being, and now I can't think of anything else when people mention those sorts of slog-y feelings. You can get like bottles of gummy vitamins from grocery stores that have a tooooon of stuff it's really easy to miss in your diet (or lifestyle, with Vitamin D) and not dangerous to take extra of (as long as you just take the recommended one or two daily). I really really recommend that stuff. Don't even have to be very specific, just like "Adult gummy vitamins" multi-colored chewy things are hard to go wrong with. Oh, they're called multi-vitamins I guess, but I was just saying multi-colored ones are alright..

Anyways, exercise and diet are the huge-est things that affect a person like that. Obviously good exercise is always a good thing for all sorts of problems, physical AND mental. So like.. that's up to you. Diet is also up to you, but gummy vitamins sure are a useful supplement when you don't exactly know what might be wrong. If you think your diet is really really good, you don't have to take them, and if you think it's just pretty good, you could take them in lesser (like 1 instead of 2) doses or less often, like every few days or even once a week or something.


Yeah that's about it for advice, but take the stuff about spending time with Star doubly seriously because it's my response to some of your other problems too. Otherwise good work on progress and I still hope you guys end up happy together! I believe in Star to be motivated enough not to be complacent with inactivity. There's way too many things to do and fun to have even for a tulpa, and they don't require sitting still in the dark for an hour at a time to do. But you do need that initial progress to give her something to work with! After that she can practically come with you places while imposed if necessary, or at least you can just talk for a moment a bunch of times throughout the day, it's really not so hard once they're vocal, but until then ya gotta put in the effort!

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas. I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written.
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
11-14-2017, 12:37 PM
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