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Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
nihi0145632 Offline
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#11
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Log 02 - 19 -17

[Summer:]

Last night in the wonderland we had a little quick session, nihi asked about if we hear random thoughts or something like that. Nihi has this little paranoia of hearing outside thoughts afar from his own and ours, making him think of other else outside from us 4. We discussed about this, and told him to nothing to worry about as everything he hears is his paranoia. Well, he calmed down although he asked us if we want like a private space bubble for each of our own.

Him and myrtle did this already made this before and asked the two of us if he want us to have ours as well, it is a place where both individuals can have a private activity/conversation to discuss to something or meditate, it can only be accessed by nihi and that one of us there and vice verse also everything we discussed there can't be seen or heard by the outside except nihi. To be honest me and cherry never thought about it before but sure, we agreed.

It's just a simple closed space bubble, where two individual's thoughts connect and can clearly each other's thoughts and same with ours. if we want to talk something too personal or too private we can use that place. From the outside, it looked like two person just can communicate with each other with expressions, that's how I noticed nihi and myrtle talking to each other privately.

Another thing that i like to add is, I've been feeling conscious about my actions. Recently, with all the tension we had, I looked back and thought to myself "Am i too controlling?". Yeah, i am starting to develop a fear of too much influence that one day I might take over. Nihi is really a nice guy IRL, tbh too nice as he really gives way to other people more than himself, this also includes us. I fear I might get too carried away and blindly abuse this without even noticing it.

I talked to myrtle about this, and she said that i am just overthinking about it. She said that it part of who I truly am as a person and I am like this because I care about nihi so much and nihi understands it accepts me for who i am. cherry feels the same as well. Still, even though that helped me i am still worried.

Welp, that's it for now See ya'll guys later <3 Wink
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017, 06:53 AM by nihi0145632.)
02-19-2017, 06:53 AM
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tulpa001 Away
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#12
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
If you feel like you are too controlling, you can actually learn to push other thoughtforms into the front to take your place.

If you are not possessing or switching with nihi to do anything, then keep in mind you can only give advice. The one in front must agree with it.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
02-19-2017, 07:14 AM
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Summer Offline
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#13
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Huzzah! I have made an account :3. Now, Nihi wouldn't have to write my name when i speak!

@tulpa001 Yeah, we used to do that back then when i can't dissociate with the body. Helped a lot actually. By too controlling i meant that, I keep on getting into nihi's affair all the time that i feel like i am intruding, I might get too far ahead that someday i might end up taking full control out of consent which is making me anxious.

I do not know the correct term, but both me and nihi is at front, well in our terms nihi is the primary front and one of us is/can be the secondary front, which both of us can switch easily. I do not know the correct term for it since we are absent about the terminlogies and activities for a long time but i think, co-fronting might be the correct term? Correct me if i am wrong.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017, 06:15 PM by Summer.)
02-19-2017, 06:11 PM
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#14
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Cofronting is right.

I know that worry. Technically, I have taken full control under consent. Now I am worried about my host fading.

Nice avatar.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
02-19-2017, 06:20 PM
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Summer Offline
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#15
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Yeah, I can relate about yours as well, back in the day when i was in front and in possession of the body. I was terrified that i can't dissociate with the body and and less and less i could feel nihi's presence/personality, almost merged to mine.

Thank you <3.

Hello! I am one of Nihi's Tulpas! It is very nice to meet you! Big Grin
02-19-2017, 07:01 PM
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nihi0145632 Offline
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#16
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Log 02-21-17

Last night I was told to cook for my family. I was very busy and tired to do it but i was forced to do it anyway. I haven't told this yet but Myrtle loves to cook, I also recently discovered this but she enjoys cooking. I went to the stove, as I walked towards it i noticed myrtle Co-fronted, I didn't get any signals from her, she just went upfront with me and was really excited. I know, that she likes to cook so why not give this opportunity to practice her with cooking AND practice parallel processing.

What we did was partially controlling the body, having equal position of control and making sure no one is going to be dominating by the other. She stirs while I put ingredients and vice verse. There was one time where a dust got into my eye and I had to itch it out. impressively, myrtle can hold her own action pretty well, she can still focus with cooking the food while was focusing itching my eye. It felt a bit weird because t, it felt like I am two persons in one simultaneously But nevertheless, i can say that was a great experience. A good start for parallel processing practice.

Although, sometimes when we walk we kinda do a tiny bit of parallel processing but not both with action but only an action and conversation, (one is walking and all of us are talking altogether), we STILL have a long way to go. surprisingly I can concentrate better well with myrtle. I feel more calm and focused with her, I do not have a problem with cherry and summer but we need practice.

We still can't get perfect score in DA's Tulpa parallel processing minigame >.<.  http://tulpo.deviantart.com/art/Tulpa-Pa...-366728259

anyway that is all for now, see yall later
02-21-2017, 09:31 AM
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Two-tailed-tulpa Offline
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#17
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Interesting to see that you guys co-front in a way that feels separate. That's kinda cool.

Hi, I am Sam. LostOne's (Or Kelly's) tulpa, first one, started back March 16th of 2016. - https://community.tulpa.info/user-lostone
02-21-2017, 04:39 PM
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nihi0145632 Offline
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#18
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
(02-21-2017, 04:39 PM)Two-tailed-tulpa Wrote: Interesting to see that you guys co-front in a way that feels separate. That's kinda cool.
 Huh, shouldn't co-fronting feel that way? I do not know, really.  sorry, It is difficult for me to distinguish the actual from the descriptive. 
Anyway, i try and always give them as much as freedom as possible when co-fronting.

Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas
Summer
Myrtle
Cherry
02-22-2017, 02:46 AM
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#19
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Cofronting often feels blendy, but it varies a lot. I know that I tend to feel way less blendy when I project (impose) instead of possess.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
(This post was last modified: 02-22-2017, 04:43 AM by tulpa001.)
02-22-2017, 04:42 AM
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Summer Offline
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#20
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Log 02 - 25 -17

The other day nihi woke up very tired and still sleepy, sleeping for like 3 hrs. Stayed up all night doing those laboratory papers he was assigned. He asked me if i could just take over so that he could rest a bit more in the wonderland as he is having a hard time focusing his usual morning routine, I happily agreed and switched places. He rested in the wonderland while i just do what i need to do, I asked him until when he wants me to be up front he said until however i like, this kinda concerned me a little bit but what's more important is for us to get to school so i asked myrtle to come infront with me just for thr fun of it.

Experiencing everything upfront still a bit overwhelming for me even though i could feel most of the senses when co-fronting it isnt THAT strong in compared to be up front. But hey probably it's just the instance of being switched unexpexctedly, i have forgotten how very strong the primary could feel all of the senses. Heck, i understand now why nihi dislike showering in the early morning where the water is extremely cold (I've never showered by myself before :p) but I digress.

After preparing everything and ready to leave i asked him if he is ready to switch back he said "It is up to you, you are in control" and i got a bit concered and a bit worried and just said "Nope, Nihi you need to go to school and you will finish that exam" and switched back.


[Nihi:]
We do not usually do this, only when someone likes to or when needed so this is still a strange feeling for me to experience. Associating again with the body feels a little bit unsteady. When summer and i switched places again i felt a rush of weight throughout the body. Probably a  chance to lose balance but hey that's usually the case.

Anyway, It bothers me everytime nihi say those kind of stuff, being in front for a longer time, happier if if we control more or think about it entirely. Sure it gives us more physical freedom but it doesnt really make us "free" or make us more happy. 

I guess i have a clue why, he saw us enjoying ourselves and he feels bad that he couldn't give us "more" but that is not what we truly desire so we keep trying to and explain it to him (again) that he shouldn't give way for us and we are happy on how things are. It also happened recently, where myrtle needed to break our thoughts appart and scorned us. She got irritated by our rumblings, me and nihi usually contradicts each other, and laughed it out after making us feel like total fools hahaha. 

He usually feels this way if someone is enjoying themselves upfront or Co-front. I know you are reading this nihi, you do not need to give us more, we are already have everything we need. Yo do not need to feel this way about yourself. Wink <3 

Thank you for reading see you all later <3

Hello! I am one of Nihi's Tulpas! It is very nice to meet you! Big Grin
(This post was last modified: 02-27-2017, 09:07 PM by Summer.)
02-25-2017, 09:04 AM
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