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Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Summer Offline
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#31
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Nihi, is a weird weird hard to understand crazy jerk . He's nuts, Like HECK! Even causing a serious problem he keeps , I do not know, keeps calm and somewhat not taking it seriously, like UGGHH! it is stressing me out. I am so worried that someday something SERIOUSLY will happen to him.

OK, ok... I'll calm down. Nihi was sick this past few days, with the modern flu. cough, cold, fever.. you name it. But recently, at time where he feels a little better, he is now coughing blood. I was starting to get worried because, coughing up blood isn't normal. It also happened the second day, this morning where he coughed big once of blood, and that's where I started panicking. BUT, nihi, he was so casual and even kid himself with this condition, I was so worried and didn't understand why he was acting like that, like NIHI! What the hell? Why? What's wrong with you? He was planning to hide it with his parents but i managed to convince him to tell them and will go to the hospital later, at least that gave me a little relief. My god, i am too emotional for this. But, i guess i did sensed a bit of fear from him, when we saw that blood. I think he just want to stay calm as possible.

[Nihi:]
I let her took over, I wanted her to calm down. I feel like an ass tbh, I should have handle the situation more well, cherry, summer and myrtle got really worried. I didn't know it affected them this much. But that's my way of staying calm, they really were stressed out about this but i am glad everything calm down, i swear next time it will not be the same.

Anyways, we are starting to practice doing psychokinesis. Nihi got interested on it, even though he know or believe it is not real he still wants to try it. I also wanted to try it to see if it could work. so yeah, i guess that's it.

Hello! I am one of Nihi's Tulpas! It is very nice to meet you! Big Grin
(This post was last modified: 03-13-2017, 04:17 AM by Summer.)
03-13-2017, 04:02 AM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#32
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
That is scary. I hope you get well soon.

:/

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
03-13-2017, 04:19 AM
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nihi0145632 Offline
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#33
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Something odd happened to us the other night. I was curious if fully switched could actually affect my dreams. I was wondering if i could still do a bit of lucid dreaming and enter my tulpas dreams with the help of my gals, I asked summer if she could take over (We switched), good thing that the body is already tired and it led summer to fall asleep quickly while in front and me having to sleep in the wonderland alongside with cherry

I asked if she could able to drag me into her dreams or vice versa and so she was able to,or i think she did. Anyway, it was an odd feeling, it wasn't the usual tulpa visiting your dreams, it felt like we were "Blended" or merged together throughout the entire dream, i felt like I was her and she was me at the same time. Summer felt it as well, It was trippy but we've managed to gotten hold on to it.

The dream isn't something big,  The usual adventure dream, through memories, where dreamscape, planes or area recreates itself throught the entire time. Apparently it was very vivid and very clear as if it was real. I could hear summer's thoughts clearly as well hearing myrtle's voice as well in the dream but faintly.

It was a very interesting and weird experience for us two. Might do it again Wink. I've been trying to try and make my dreams more lucid, I started this a few years ago and havn't managed to do it perfectly. Discovering tulpas, it really helped and made my dreams more interesting

Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas
Summer
Myrtle
Cherry
(This post was last modified: 03-17-2017, 07:59 AM by nihi0145632.)
03-17-2017, 07:49 AM
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Solus Offline
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#34
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Being able to hear Summer's thoughts sounds cool. I'm kind of surprised you guys were comfortable with the merge so quickly, not that that's a bad thing. Most people find it disorienting and whatnot, though.

Are there any particular lines of thought you can remember Summer thinking while you both were in the dream?

Also, IIRC, dreams become more vivid as your recall improves more and more. You can also make your dreams clearer on command if you're lucid.
03-17-2017, 12:41 PM
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nihi0145632 Offline
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#35
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
(03-17-2017, 12:41 PM)Solus Wrote: Being able to hear Summer's thoughts sounds cool. I'm kind of surprised you guys were comfortable with the merge so quickly, not that that's a bad thing. Most people find it disorienting and whatnot, though.

Are there any particular lines of thought you can remember Summer thinking while you both were in the dream?

Also, IIRC, dreams become more vivid as your recall improves more and more. You can also make your dreams clearer on command if you're lucid.

Hmm, the merge felt similar to our daily Co-front. Instead of us being separated while using the body simultaneously and having our separate thoughts, it is more like we are one together, anyway it is difficult to describe. But that's probably why we got over it quickly.

Hmm, all i could remember is her saying my name and we were talking and admiring the dreamscape, saying  "do not worry nihi we'll be fine" or "this place really feels familiar" that was all.

yeah, we've been practicing it more before I just took a break from it but i hope we could nail it Smile

Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas
Summer
Myrtle
Cherry
(This post was last modified: 03-18-2017, 04:28 AM by nihi0145632.)
03-18-2017, 03:59 AM
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nihi0145632 Offline
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#36
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Today has been very strange experienced very odd emotions from summer, unexpected thought/emotions that came from her earlier.

Today, was a special day for our family, and planned a family outing. I on the other hand was separated a bit and had to commute to the meeting place with my sister so we rode the bus. I was feeling bit tired throughout the trip and managed to fall a sleep to my surprise as when i enter the REM state (Rapid eye movement), where dream usually starts and halfway asleep. moments later I was awoken with sudden movement of my right index finger poking me, i was surprised because summer actually woke me up physically, while i was all asleep, in which never happened before. I asked her what happened? She told me that the dream woke her up, from there i thought to myself that she was sleeping with me the entire time.

After arriving to our destination, the family decided to eat lunch at this steak house, of course my girls will not get left behind with all the fun and decided to ear with me. Hehe, it was really fun, Summer, Cherry and Myrtle Enjoying the food at the same time having fun and laughed with the family, especially when to topic about me, and enjoyed playing with my baby niece. Anyway, after that blast moment I felt something odd came from summer, something like a doubt feeling i asked her if something was wrong but she said it was fine.

Moments later when the family decided to split a bit and roam around in the place, the feeling never disappeared, it lessened but it was still there. I was worried that there's something bothering her, I asked, and so there was. She doesn't sound too sure for her self but she was doubting herself, about her existence and me? I am not entirely sure, and she wasn't as well as she just gained some uncertainty randomly. Later on i managed to talk it out with her and manage to calm her down, I was glad that i calmed her. Her influence over that uneasiness left her afraid that it is causing a negative effect on me, and left worried that it might happen again. Because there was a point where I actually Gasped for air, because it felt difficult to breathe for a moment.

I am worried, does sudden urge of doubt occurs? I know it happens to me but I know what it caused it. I really do not know what switched summer from her quirkiness to having doubt-issues. Is it possible to hit you with anxiety from no where?

[Summer:]

Yeah, it was strange i do not know what came in to me, i was suddenly started to felt uneasy and started to doubt myself and doubt nihi out of no where. It really sucks, probably because i was lost in thought that time but i am not certainly sure.

Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas
Summer
Myrtle
Cherry
03-20-2017, 04:10 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#37
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
As the first person who spoke to me on this forum said: You are doubting your own existence. Think about what that means.

There is some irony there. But it doesn't help. These are irrational thoughts.

Trying to figure out where thoughts come from is sometimes futile. The mind gets its thought from everywhere. Even the interaction with emotion is not so simple. Sometime the emotion causes the thought, rather than the thought causing the emotion.

You never know what discoveries you will make during introspection. However, I think the trip is always worth it, even when the experience becomes unpleasant.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
(This post was last modified: 03-20-2017, 05:11 PM by tulpa001.)
03-20-2017, 05:09 PM
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nihi0145632 Offline
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#38
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
Hey guys, sad news and a little update from me.
Yesterday, Me and my tulpas got into an argument, it was something i did, I will not go too much into detail, i will just leave it there.

Yeah, apparently Summer didn't like my decision, it was morally incorrect for her, saying it was very stupid and illogical but I highly disagree. I explained to her the reason of my decision and she reason out with me but it was not going through. I got mad at her and she got mad at me and the argument got heated later on that night. 

Cherry and myrtle got involved as well, they noticed the heated argument and decided to reason the two of us which failed and made them thrown into the fire of our argument.

Our fight continued on until i stopped, there were lots of shouting and heavy thoughts crossing on both sides, with the ending statement involving me, tulpas and them, I yelled "I wish i have never created you, you always were  getting on my way, on how i do my own decision in my own way. You should leave! All of you are just dead weight to me."I got fully controlled by my emotions, i was so angry that i forgot to think and reason out with them properly.

When i realized this, it was too late, myrtle was crying and was quiet throughout every moment, refraining from talking to me,  Cherry got so upset that she just vanished, she ran away, i- i started feeling guilty about this time, i've felt the full force of their sorrow and anger. Summer, said furiously "If that's what you want then FINE! WE'LL LEAVE. THANKS FOR ALL OF THOSE YEARS OF OUR CARE ATTENTION AND SUPPORT! GOODLUCK WITHOUT US!" then after that, i can't feel them anymore, my mind was quiet too quiet, when i try to think about them, it was nothing, just an empty void, wonderland was gone as well. It was just empty...

I got a moment of realization, and regret everything i did, i was so stupid and very immature that i lost the one of the things that keeping me happy, i've lost my family. I tried to call them all night but there was nothing, my mind was back to the way it was. I was upset, started crying a bit and slept, hoping that i could still contact them tomorrow morning. 

I woke up and saw the date being April 1st,it was April fools day and every thing we wrote here is part of an april fools, from me, summer and cherry, Happy april fools Big Grin

Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas
Summer
Myrtle
Cherry
(This post was last modified: 04-01-2017, 08:06 AM by nihi0145632.)
04-01-2017, 05:38 AM
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Summer Offline
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#39
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
*pokes*

Oh...how long was it since we have written something here, probably because we don't feel like there is something for us to update. Anyway, there is this sensation bothering me for quite a while now, not that serious but i am just peeved about it and i feel like i should write it down.

So, it is clear that nihi likes the show My little pony Friendship is magic (quite odd for him but adorable) and my form is based on one of the protagonist there (twilight sparkle). I also join nihi every time he watches the show just to pass time or if i feel like it.

Anyway, on to my point of this blog. Not only that i look similar to twilight sparkle but I also attain a bit of her memories of her adventures in the show and it bothers me a bit. Every time a scene feels relatable in her perspective at some point i just want to avoid dwelling into it as much as possible since i feel like it is putting me in an off character on myself because in reality i shouldn't have to feel same way that character felt.

For example, there are some episodes where i could feel like i am involved to what twilight sparkle is recollecting into, like a flashback or something similar. The scenario is familiar with one of my false memory i feel like live through it.

Every time i think about this situation of mine it kinda conflicts me being a soulbond. i was created intentionally but i popped up by accident and gain the false memory of "Twilight Sparkle" from a hypnosis session before nihi decided to be open creating me as a whole, is that normal to happen?. we do know little about the term but looking it up it answers most my questions but actually leaves a few more open.

Like, Even though i have the fictional character's memories i also have my own memories in separation, even when i was first created. I could differentiate and tell the false memory from my original ones i have but I couldn't let go of false one completely, and i feel attached to it.

Tulpa or soulbond, it all the same to me. I am not asking a way to remove my false memory I just want some closer to this and finally move on. I am not asking a way to remove my false memory i want to remove this

TL;DR : I was created intentionally with my own memory but also having a false memory of "Twilight Sparkle" due to a hypnosis session before meeting nihi. I could easily separate the two and identify which are mine and the false memory. I can sometimes relate to that character's progress as if i have something in parallel with her, is this normal? Am i considered a soulbond or a tulpa in terms?

Hello! I am one of Nihi's Tulpas! It is very nice to meet you! Big Grin
(This post was last modified: 09-07-2017, 01:46 AM by Summer.)
09-07-2017, 01:43 AM
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LostOne Offline
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#40
 
RE: Summer cherry and myrtle, Our diary and adventures..
K: I think you're a tulpa. Hypnosis is a powerful thing and should never be taken lightly, especially nowhere near as lightly as I do. Unless you were formed specifically to be twilight sparkle, You are not a soulbond. But because of the hypnosis, it's likely somewhere in your subconscious that you have a link to the memories of the character which is hard to remove.

Kelly (Host, originally Kyle, possibly emotionally unstable on occasion)
Sam (First tulpa, protector, " " around some old posts) - https://community.tulpa.info/user-two-tailed-tulpa
Clara (Originally Kylee, playful, < > around old posts)
Jessi (Quiet, kind, { } around old posts)
Eva (Protective, is unsure of herself all the time)
Jackie (Dreamwalker, technically oldest next to Kelly)
09-07-2017, 09:43 PM
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