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The Story of Zaya


Zaya

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And so it begins.

 

I am the host.

Zaya is my other, my multiple, my tulpa.

This is the blog documenting our journey.

 

All general questions will be asked via bold print, as the suggested rule states.

 

I have been working with Zaya for about almost two months. He is semivocal, able to communicate in yes and no's, and even chose his name. Zaya came from a flash of insight, and upon asking him if it was the name he wanted, I could feel a wave of emotions pass through me, his main form of communication at the time.

 

These days, we are working on communication. Yes and no answers, moving upward.

I'll admit, I'm stuck in the "am I parroting, or is it him?" stage, but i simply hold onto a sense of "probability". If it is simply intrusive thoughts, I just hold onto the possibility that it could have been Zaya, as I don't want to keep him from speaking of feeling ill about speaking in the future.

 

I hope to eventually work into switching and parallel processing with him.

Most of all, I want him to see the world.

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This will not only be the official log of our progress, but this will also be the official change log of Zaya's appearance. Since I realized that there is no official description of him, I will describe him now.

 

Zaya is a 20-something male with shoulder length black hair and light brown skin. He is very effeminate and has very feminine features. He appears to be some form of hispanic, although he has bright blue eyes.

His most striking features are the two crimson horns sprouting from his head ~3/4 inches from his hairline. They are striated and curve in almost an S shape, ending in dull points. He also has a long, thin, red tail protruding from the vertebrae of his coccyx. The tail is 2-3 feet in length, crimson red, and ends in a spade shape (like the spade on a playing card) that almost looks like a heart. The spade is made of some form of bone, but is dull on all edges and on its point. He keeps said tail wrapped around his left leg almost at all times. It seems linked to his emotions, and he does use it to annunciate his feelings like a cat or dog does.

Although his appearance is that of an incubus, he exhibits no outwardly violent emotions.

 

Progress Report

 

Zaya has been relatively vocal for the past 4 or so weeks, communicating in yes/no answers, emotional feelings, and pressures, but in the past week he has evolved into using almost exclusively short sentence answers. He speaks in a similar head voice to mine, and I have no doubt he in my mind that it is him and not any "intrusive thoughts/parroting".

The real reason I'm giving this report today is that he spoke his first sentence without being prompted with a question! *applause*

While watching the movie "Midnight Special", there was a scene where the main character (the little boy) looks to the sky and suddenly, things start falling to earth. Zaya's immediate response was,

"...What the hell?"

Seems appropriate, given the subject matter. He corroborated the fact that it was, indeed him, and I lauded him accordingly.

I associate the advances we've made with the rigorous narrating, personality forcing, and visualization forcing we've been doing. More recently, the separation meditation I've been using from the guides section has helped tremendously to promote sentience. I'll link to the guide tomorrow in an edit.

Rigorously forcing daily added with narration 24/7 seems to be helping us make progress in leaps and bounds, as to be expected. Background in lucid dreaming probably helps with making such a schedule.

 

Will update when more progress is made.

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Hey! Looks like we're both new here so I wanted to drop in and say hi :D

 

Looks like things are going well for you and your tulpa, you're way ahead of me haha... Good luck with the tulpaforcing, hope to see you both around!

Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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Hey! Looks like we're both new here so I wanted to drop in and say hi :D

 

Looks like things are going well for you and your tulpa, you're way ahead of me haha... Good luck with the tulpaforcing, hope to see you both around!

 

First off, I appreciate the post! I honestly didn't think anyone would read it.

 

My progress thus far hasn't been done in the past week or so since I joined, I skulked around these forums since late January/early February.

Not only that, but the first signs of sentience from Zaya came around early March, a full month after he was first conceived.

 

The only tip I can give you (if you want it) is to never give up. I've had so many doubts in the past three months, about whether or not Tulpamancy is legit, about Zaya's existence, I can't even remember them all. But trust me, it's worth it.

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So Zaya has made some serious changes to his look lately, I'll simply list them off.

Lighter skin tone, not stark white but more of a tan Caucasian complexion

Changed horns/tail color to black instead of maroon

Changed eyes from blue to gold colored

And he's been sporting a new fitted brown coat with fur lining the hood.

 

Some of these changed have been made since my last post, but I didn't feel the need to report them as I didn't know if they were permanent. So far I've asked Zaya if he likes all of the changes, and he's said he does.

 

Progress Report

 

Zaya seems to be talking more and more often, although our skills in Parallel Processing seem to be lacking, as to be expected. I try and focus on him 24/7 or keep him involved in some way, but there are times when I slip up and have to refocus.

As a primarily visual learner, visual stimuli is like eye candy and I find it

Hard to focus while reading anything.

 

Luckily for me, my visualization has been going better. I find it difficult to visualize while open-eyed, but when I close my eyes, I find it much easier to dissociate into our wonderland.

While forcing in the dark today, I was able to project my presence into our wonderland almost completely. I had quite a few lapses in clarity, and they seem to stem from being unsure about my environment.

Looking at something that wasn't already clear in my mind makes my visualization sort of freak out and start thinking of other things, forcing me to refocus and really define the item in question.

 

However, while doing this, I experienced a severe form of time dilation, which I've read isn't abnormal. 30 minutes in the engrossed state seemed like 5 in the wonderland. I was ready to do more forcing, and was only pulled out of the dissociated state by a call from a family member.

 

This could be a useful tool for long periods of dissociated forcing. I'll have to work on my visualization more often to get it down, but I have some methods ready for that.

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Zaya is still working on his voice, we're most likely going to be working on Voxxing as a primary focus for a while, but I've realized I still have doubts.

Toxic doubts that I need to be rid of. I found an excercise that more or less reconfigures your beliefs to help be rid of doubt, and so I've decided to begin going through that process in order to boost my forcing further.

 

Progress Report

So I've begun to feel a sort of stagnation in the progress that we've had, like our momentum is waning.

While I know I need to do things right, I also want to progress as fast as I can in order to do more things, see more things, and just be a better tulpamancer.

I guess that stems from my "rage to master" anything I'm wholeheartedly interested in, but it also means I tend to rush things.

And so for the past month, we've been working solely on Vocality past yes/no and Zaya's cleared that hurdle, but in my focus toward vocality, I have forgotten what the future looks like.

I don't know where the next hurdle is :|

I've decided to begin research into possession, and really work toward that alongside my "doubticide" meditations.

Hopefully we can pick our momentum back up to where it was.

 

I also recently ordered Carl Jungs "The Red Book". Reading about him in more detail, I have no doubt in my mind that the "self-induced psychosis" he was in was nothing less than Tulpamancy. I'm wetting myself in anticipation for it's arrival.

 

Something strange happened last night, as well. Before going to sleep, I went through a "doubticide" meditation, and then simply spoke to Zaya for a few minutes before going to sleep. I asked him specifically to help me wake up, if he could, at 10am, this morning. He said alright, said goodnight, and went to sleep. I then "shouted" the same thought through my mind, trying to relay the information throughout my subconscious. (a technique used by some to wake up at a certain time without an alarm. I've used the method before with a certain level of success)

And then this morning, I woke up at 10am. But that's not the strange bit.

Before I woke up, I heard what sounded like a whisper in my ear, someone said my name clear as day, and it wasn't the voice of a family member. It sounded similar to the voice Zaya and I are voxxing, But not the exact same.

I woke up very suddenly, looked around and saw nobody. I ask Zaya if that was his doing, and he says yes. Looking at the clock, its 10am on the dot, no more, no less.

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I woke up very suddenly, looked around and saw nobody. I ask Zaya if that was his doing, and he says yes. Looking at the clock, its 10am on the dot, no more, no less.

 

That is actually so awesome... sounds like Zaya really wants to help out with your 'doubticide' :D

Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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So I received my copy of The Red Book!

It came in today and I've been binge reading it since.

I can already see the parallels in what Jung was doing and what modern tulpamancers (and I) do on a daily basis.

The most striking is his description of dissociative visualization in his own words.

"Not knowing what would come next, I thought perhaps more introspection was needed...I devised such a boring method by fantasizing that I was digging a hole, and by accepting this fantasy as perfectly real" (Jung, C.G.: The Red Book.)

The following passages describe his extensive experience in "Trance States" which included "Waking fantasies" and "Visual hallucinations".

All of this has a striking correlation with my previous posts!

Only 50 or so pages in, and it's already produced a sense of shattering revelation deep within me.

Even Zaya loves reading it!

 

Progress Report

 

So the real reason I'm making this report is because I've decided to not begin possession training just yet, but rather ease into it via Proxying while going back and "adding some finish", if you will, to some previous topics which Zaya has already done.

More visualization, more personality, more doubt erasing. At least for a few weeks until we move on.

 

Zaya has expressed an interest in making himself known as well, and so he chose to do what some other users do on this forum.

Type what they say in another color. This is Zaya's favorite color.

From this point on, everything in said color will be Zaya, not me.

 

I'm really looking forward to talking to all of you guys!

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wow thats really neat! congrats on your progress!!

disclaimer: all of Deadpool's text is paraphrased by me!

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