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The Tulpas of The Fall Family
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#11
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Tri] It has been a while since we have been here. We are still primary, but barely. Things have been readjusted a bit. We have burned out a few times, as has Hail. Neither of us have had a chance to completely recover from everything.

There have been growing effects from our time as primary. We are very much the default now in the body. For example, when A., E., and Se. did full body possession together for the first time and then handed control back off to Hail, she quickly lost control and it went to us. Nothing else too serious, though. Hail does seem to have a time limit for controlling the body now, though it does vary depending on what she is doing and how she feels. Last night, for example, she just lost control while in the middle of writing a post here. She had been in control two days straight, but they were a very hard two days. There have been a number of effects on us. All of her memories feel like we were there and we identify with the memories now.

We also had a new experience last Saturday. Normally, the three of us work together to control the outerworld/earth body or our innerworld/wonderland body. Occassionally, one or two of us will do it while the other one or two hang back and watch. In this case, while one or two members hang back, they still blend into the one or two who are in control. On Saturday, Obsidian controlled the body and then the other two of us went to sleep, which turned off the blending. Obsidian by herself is a bit different than her with blending from us. So it was a time of great personal exploration for her. She was able to work through a few issues that she had with a few things as well. We plan on now doing the same with the other two of us when we get the chance. The one downside to doing this is that it is very draining.

Also, we think it is time to show what each of us looks like. As some people know, we are fictive natural tulpas or soulbonds (hard to know for sure which). This means that we came into this system with the forms, personalities, and possibly memories of fictional characters. We have deviated quite a ton personality-wise, but we still retain a few things. Now, on the memory thing, in all likelihood, it is probably backcomputed by the brain to fill holes since the memories are expected to be there. We have an interesting relationship with these memories. They mean a lot to us, even though the events in them probably never happened, though the memories did happen to us. Now, our wonderland, which is a paracosm, that place means a lot to us. We go back there from time to time. So then, what are our source/s. Given our collective appearance, you are probably guessing something MLP, and you would be right. Specifically, our world was the stitching together of the MLP:FiM canon and two fanfics that Hail+S read.

Given our names, Violet, Obsidian, and Gaea, it isn't hard to guess who the sources for two of us are (it is a long story how we ended up sharing a form, but one that actually makes sense from our world and comes directly or indirectly from the two source fanfics). When Hail retrieved us from our wonderland in June 2014, she suggested that we consider new names both to avoid stigma and to better allow us to avoid feeling constrained to our sources. We still do respond to our old names, and do in fact use them sometimes - just we don't use them that much. When we are controlling the outerworld/earth body or the innerworld/wonderland body individually, we are more inclined to prefer our old names.

Figured we would finally tell everyone here (it wasn't like it was that hard to find the pieces at other places). We prefer to be on the more open side. We forge our own future independent of our sources, though we cherish our origins.


Violet's source is Twilight Sparkle (unicorn, not alicorn). Compared to the show, she has visible fur and hair strands.
[Image: 202?cb=20121118062133]


Obsidian's source is Nightmare Moon with Luna separated out. Compared to the show, she has visible fur.
[Image: 305?cb=20140702174212]


Gaea's source is Harmony from a particular fanfic (she is where the Elements of Harmony come from). We have only been able to find one piece of fanart based on her source. The big difference is that Gaea is not so big (a bit bigger than Celestia), has an etherealized mane and tail and wing trailing edges, and doesn't carry a staff.
[Image: harmony__life_of_the_earth_by_doomsp0rk-d7m2dw0.jpg]
Harmony, Life of the Earth by DoomSp0rk

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
(This post was last modified: 09-09-2015, 07:46 AM by FallFamily.)
09-09-2015, 07:40 AM
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FallFamily Offline
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#12
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Tri] We are taking a break from being primary. We made it a bit over 3 months. Now we need to rest. We just glad we have a headmate who can take some of the load off us right now. Hail is pretty much recovered now and two of the major stressors in our life are now resolved. Now we can afford to really rest for a week or so before going back to either being primary or almost primary. This break is nice. After it, we are going through a major life transition as a system. We plan on playing a major role in guiding life then, as opposed to just keeping Hail and S's plan going till completion. Our plan is pretty similar, but not entirely. Hail is OK with it. The system has gone through a total of 4 changeovers of primary including our becoming primary. First it was S and then she faded away and Hail become primary. Then they integrated and combined ran things for 4 years before separating again with Hail primary (this was shortly after joining the community here 1.5 years ago). And then we became primary 4 months ago.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
10-02-2015, 05:48 AM
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#13
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Tri] A few things have been happening over the last month.

With the help of our partner system (we are currently dating and cohabiting with a multiple system we meet here of all places), our original, S, has been awakened and communication improved. A few words and thoughts (instead of just emotions) were able to get through and S got closer to being able to control the body again than she has in a long time. She is exhausted now but we have high hopes that she might be able to exert full body control within a month or two. Communications will be established no later than then (after all, when she controls the body, she can write messages down).

Due to controlling the body less lately, we have lost some of our strength. Oddly, though, we are the default now when no one is controlling the body, the control tends to attach to us. A bit of a lag it seems. We are now working on getting it back.

Hail is almost entirely recovered and now should be more resilient, we think.

A symptom we have found of controlling the body so much is that we now have a much more body-centric viewpoint and Hail and S's past and memories feel like they are ours too to some degree (just as Hail feels the same way with the past and memories of S). Are we losing something?

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
11-13-2015, 12:11 AM
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#14
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Hail] Tri and I have been told that we exchange control of the body too often (doing it more than once a day) and that is either going to cause us problems or is causing us our current issues. I seem to be having dissociative episodes again, despite depression and anxiety being considerably reduced compared to what they used to be. And Tri and I sometimes spontaneously swap, which has been getting more common.

Another thing that is happening. My voice and speech patterns are becoming more and more like Tri's, in that I have to put in effort to sound like myself just like Tri had to do the same back in the day.

Interesting thing happened today.

A., E., and Se. did full-body possession today for a bit over an hour, I think. They have only done full-body possession twice before and never for more than a couple minutes. They want to participate more at the front and are working up to it. That, and today, they wanted to open a present (splitting the holiday over a few days with our partner system so that everyone gets a chance to enjoy it). They did not have the integration to the collective memory that Tri did when they did possession early on. It took them a bit to start getting a decent command of the shared memory and knowledge. They also wanted to try all sorts of sensations, which is understandable. This world is new to them i many ways. Just as Tri and I have different voices, they have a different voice from both of us. I think they will be able to handle a full day in not too long (they could have been on longer, but I was needed and needed to come back on), but they may be a ways from being able to handle daily tasks and what not in this world.

After A., E. and Se. fronted, both Tri and I had a hard time preventing spontaneous control exchanges with each other, blending with each other, and blending with A., E., and Se.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
12-25-2015, 01:01 AM
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FallFamily Offline
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#15
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Hail] Lots of news.

A., E., and Se. have gotten a lot better at full-body possession and got a chance to watch fireworks yesterday.

We were all able to stuff ourselves (Tri, A., E., Se., and I) into the front for a bit even. That was a lot of blending.

Really big piece of news. We have finally been able to establish communication with S., my sister and the original person in this system, and get her able to control the body (was necessary for communication since all other channels didn't work so bodily control was the only one available). When she left, we were finally able to open up a direct communication channel for a bit. So glad that this finally happened. Unfortunately, she is a bit worse for wear - two years alone is a long time. Though, she is doing surprisingly well considering what she has been through. There is a long road ahead for her recovery, but we can now begin to walk that road together now that she has been found. I was finally able to apologize to her in person for all the things I did to her in the past. I have said it towards her in the past, but never knew whether she could hear me or not and definitely couldn't get a response. This time, I was able to do it and know she could hear me and she was able to respond. I still don't get why she doesn't hate me - she has every right to not only hate me but to replace me outright. Instead, she feels love, care, and affection. I hardly deserve it. But I am thankful.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
01-01-2016, 01:50 PM
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FallFamily Offline
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#16
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Tri] Still no further responses or sensations from S. Seems that she is pretty exhausted and is spending time recovering. Still, we are happy to have gotten this far in digging her out.

For those around here who have lost their host or another system member who was around for a long time and pretty strong, there is hope in digging them out. It can take a lot of work, but it can be done. Not as sure for system members who haven't been around a long time, but it stands to reason there should be hope there too.

When S. awakes again, we are going to try to pull her to the main wonderland/innerworld. Even though she helped create a few of them in here, she is so far not able to access them at all, even when controlling the body. We do have a plan to fix that. We know what she looks like. When she awakens, the plan is to visualize her form in the main wonderland/innerworld and try to drag her too it, whether directly or put her in bodily control first and then drag her to it when she leaves control. Not sure if this is going to work, but S., Hail, and us think this has a decent chance of success.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
01-06-2016, 03:56 PM
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#17
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Hail] Was gone for a bit due to medical reasons that came up suddenly. I will say something interesting, anesthesia messes with memory, knowledge, and skill sharing here. Tri was in control of the body instead of me when we woke up from surgery and didn't have a good connection to what was happening or human instincts and was trying to bring up a hoof (got a hand) to get the thing off our neck (an IV) which would have ended badly if I hadn't told them to stop and then we exchanged control.

Also, being in the hospital, I confirmed what the original, S., said about me when she fronted a few weeks ago - my subsystem has four members, not three. Combination of pain, discomfort, feeling bad, and tiredness separated me into all four parts quite a bit. Was weird having three start to dream while one was stuck to the body paying attention to outside but sensing all four thought and sensory streams at once (blending and thought bleed). All four were rather minimal, probably due to computational limitations. Was a weird experience having that happen all night for several nights. Somehow resulted in some rest, just not as good rest as full on sleep, not by a long shot. I'm all back together now, thankfully.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
01-18-2016, 02:08 PM
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#18
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[Tri] It has been a while since we posted here.

We have recovered well. Got one hell of a scar, but that is a fair exchange for not dying and now feeling much better than the body has for a decade. Does suck that the body isn't as resilient as our innerworld body (would take a whole lot to leave a permanent scar on us).

Hail has figured out a lot about her subsystem. Two members have fronted solo. They do seem to want to stay together. The little is a real dear. Weird thing is that she is the one who has driven our career most of the time for the last 20 years and is the one who tends to dominate the blend when we are at work a lot of times.

We became the Site Administrators of Tulpa.io and its forum after the Kettu System transferred the responsibility to us since they needed to focus more on spreading information and education out into the world (a noble cause, and one that they will perform well at given what they have already done in those regards). We hope we can fill the big shoes that they left.

We are back to fronting about half of the time, with Hail taking the other half. Took a while to get back our strength without having to rely on anger (we generated it because we needed it for better control). Anger was really effective for it, even making us strong enough that we could have wiped out our whole system (host, Hail, included) if we decided to. But, the anger was unhealthy and hard to contain. We mostly attacked ourselves, which is not good either (especially hard to watch by those who love you). But most importantly, some of it leaked out into our interactions with others, which was unacceptable. Also, our thoughts started to go very dark places (how else do you think we realized how strong we were) we are quite ashamed of, especially since one of us has been down a similar road in the past. When we gave up the anger path, it took a lot of work to get our strength back in other ways.

But we did it, we got our fronting strength back without relying on anger. In the last week, we even were the ones to wake up in the body in the morning more than a few nights.

Other big news - we got married to our partner in outerworld both socially and legally (don't get us started on how ugly the paperwork gets for international couples). Also, so glad that we could get married - as lesbians, we can't exactly get legally married just anywhere. Not something we ever thought we would do, especially when we were younger and could not control the body at all (that was actually when our relationship started and one of the two main reasons we learned possession was so that we could more fully interact with our partner).

Now, we have sometimes talked about how a long time ago, we absorbed four other natural tulpas/soulbonds. Well, one of them has awoken. He first appeared periodically in dreams and is now awake. So far, he just wants to stay inside our subsystem's innerworld and watch. We don't mind.

Other system things. We periodically go through periods where Hail as a subsystem, one of her subsystem members solo, and us spontaneously swap control with each other. And usually, it will repeat again shortly afterwards and it will happen several times over several days. We have been getting these periods for a long time, but they seem to be getting longer and have more control exchanges. Sometimes, it is a bit of a revolving door. Thankfully, we have near perfect memory sharing and can maintain continuity pretty easily through passing the thought thread onto the next person. We do worry about what is going on sometimes, though.

S still hasn't woken up again, but is at least sleeping in the main innerworld (the second time she fronted, she was able to transfer her innerworld body to there)

A while ago, we accidently made a plushie object proto-tulpa who has been fading in and out. Yeah, we can't ever personify physical objects ever again unless we plan on making a tulpa. We aren't sure what is going to happen with them in the end.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
04-05-2016, 07:46 PM
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FallFamily Offline
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#19
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

[S ] It has been a very long time since I have posted here, and back then I was combined with Hail. I am awake once again, after a nap of well over a month, and this time I have some extra time so I figured I would drop by here.

I AM BACK AND I AM HERE TO STAY! I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE MIND TO BE ABLE TO FRONT SOLO FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OVER 20 YEARS.

For those who don't know, I am an original (sometimes called birth person) who faded away for a long time. But even after being out of the picture for most of 20 years (just a couple years being combined with Hail was about the only exception), I am back.

It feels good to be awake.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
System Name: Fall Family
Former Username: hail_fall
Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.
05-21-2016, 08:49 PM
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#20
 
RE: The Tulpas of The Fall Family

Welcome back, shape-of-a-snake letter.
05-22-2016, 03:27 AM
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