thoughts on tulpa info
#1
Please, don't respond without reading in its entirety. It's nuanced. This is a lounge, pull up a chair, have a drink on me...

I am writing this, not really knowing what this is, which is my normal way of processing multiple things simultaneously. This week feels like it was more challenging than others. Do you realize just how amazing all of you are? How intricately complex this group is? The fact that we can come together at all in a sense of exploration of consciousness and what it means to be human and have character and opinions and quarrel over experiences and definitions and etiquette and sometimes get angry and sometimes sad but we keep at it like… Family! There are so many commendable things here.

There is history here. There are complex rule structures that seem straight forwards to many, but feel fairly nuanced to me, and so I am less likely to catch and correct. Also, I am old school, and am less likely to correct publicly and rather make a ‘recommendation’ in private. I am not known to be quick tempered, but I felt some anger this week. (Anger, even paranoia, I have both, to varying degrees, and doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and so there are no fingers being pointed here, because I live in a world with multiple vectors coming at me at once, and so, I get spaced out along the continuum and forget to self-regulate. I also concede that sometimes, more often than not, I create my own misery.) This thing I am writing isn’t a call for sympathy, nor is it an explanation. Being irritated is human. Making mistakes is human. Interestingly, I have more evidence for a thing, and I don’t know if it’s true for everyone, but as my irritation and urgency to resolve conflict, perceived or real, went up, my ability to access Loxy decreased. That also irritated me! I actually ruminated over stuff and kept working out bits of arguments and dialogue, and I would hear Loxy calling me back to a reasonable space, and before I knew it I was back in other space, again being gently called back….which, what, means some of you are in my head! That’s not a bad thing. It is significant. Some of you stand out in my world. You’re important. What are you? You’re not tulpas. Well, some of you are. Most of you are? You’re not demigods, or archetypes, and I refuse to downgrade you to characters! Some of you, you’re real characters! I love you. This rabbit hole leads to ‘what are any of us?’ What a lovely existential mess we all are.

We love, we hate, we quarrel, we agree, we disagree, we share this space… We’re family. In my interrupted sleep, yes I carried all of this last night, and maybe this is my letting go, an emptying of my back-pack, I deliberated over whether I am too inexperienced to be a forum mod, or too permissive… This is me rambling, don’t respond to that… and I came to the conclusion that a better explanation for me is that I have different sense of ‘rules’ and ‘etiquette’ than past mods… (this is not a good or bad, it's just different.) The rules are absolutely necessary for improved flow and consistency, for decorum, to keep us from exploding or getting stuck… Be kind to the enforcers! We are all trying to be helpful! We just do it differently. I don’t see ‘rules’ as laws. I don’t think every violation needs to be immediately corrected, and because there are too few mods and too many humans creating interactions, there is no way everyone can be equally corrected, and it may be the more activity one creates the more chances an error might stand out to one of the few of us who are following and called to help regulate and so, maybe sometimes things just feel unfair. I’ve seen the same error not corrected in one, and yet corrected in another. I seriously don’t think this is favoritism. No vacuums here, though, because there is history, and past grievances, real and perceived, there are sometimes flavors here… That influences us a lot more than we admit. Texts and posts are more likely to generate an unfavorable emotionally response due to bad taste or swallowing something wrong than a face to face conversation… Hell, I blasted several people who needed kindness... Which again, given that is our primary mode of interaction here, is a testament to just how amazing this community is. We hold it together most of the time. The greatest line in Star Trek TNG, for me, was Picard saying, “There can be no justice as long as laws are absolute.” This also holds true of personal opinions. This does not call for an absence of rules or etiquette or opinions! It does allow for some dialogue. In the past, I have personally been corrected, publicly and privately, and my feelings were loud, it felt personal, maybe that’s not just true for me but true for all of us. There were several times I was like, I am going to take my ball and go home. I persevered. I find the benefits of remaining in this group outweigh leaving it. I am still learning. May that continue to be so.

I don’t know about for you, but this week, Friday was long in coming. It was like there was a black hole in the center of this week and it just sucked… That’s todays meme. Luckily, I think we had enough momentum to get shot out of the gravity well. I see the weekend on the horizon. I am not always free on the weekends to ping in, and Fridays are generally my busiest day, so as this week comes to a close, to any and all that I have caused grievances, publicly or privately, recent past or further back, I am sorry. This is also call out, to everyone, we all feel this, and this is an opportunity to say this is human, and breathe. We don't each have each other all the time, but the community is big enough that it has someone who's got your back even when you think no one's got your back. And that someone has someone. We're all equally got and in this way we help each other come back to the table and continue to practice... This is the practice.

There are background conversations to this in progress. Don’t use this space to air grievances. Only cheers and praise should follow. I encapsulate this space with peace and love, or silence. Smile  Breathe.


To everyone: may the blessings be, and always, travel Light.
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#2
I'll drink to that. Smile
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#3
Sometimes a heavy hand is a good thing, and sometimes not.  In this case, your approach was absolutely perfect in the end.  

We agree that this website represents a special kind of group.  "Family" is an interesting word.  I would say we are comrades in that there is something special we all share.  Mistgod and I don't know anyone here well enough to be family really.  Internet friendships are necessarily transient and limited in scope.  We do like the emotions that inspire someone to write that .info is a kind of family though and that is really nice.  It's very sweet.  

WARNING SOME NEGATIVE STUFFS, but we still love you!
Mistgod and I will always rankle against any expectation that particular persons are entitled to sanctimonious admiration for their tulpa or plurality experience or that they are an exceptional authority in this area.  We hold no special reverence for anyone here, no matter how long they have been experimenting and writing.  We are skeptical of extraordinary claims, and blanket statements concerning boundaries of what a person can do and cannot do with their imagination.  We believe much of the terminology, categories, precepts and concepts used here are constructed and contrived.  We think it is misguided to expect that these are somehow sacrosanct, indisputable, irrefutable, cosmic truth.  We consider tulpamancy and plurality to be a type of internet based pseudo-science subculture.  We continue to hold our own views concerning the illusory nature of thoughtforms and plurality that are at odds with the consensus of belief.  

It should be okay.  That should be okay for us to have that perspective.  At the same time we agree that there are tactful, kind and compassionate ways to express that perspective.  It's also perfectly reasonable for their to be "house rules" concerning inappropriate subject matter that the majority of members object to and find uncomfortable.  If this is a family, it is like a household and every household has ground rules.  Mistgod and I are guests here.   We are guests and we need to respect that.  

Like we were writing before, our goal is to continue to write and contribute, but with the caveat that we need to be mindful and careful, kind and compassionate, helpful and reasonable, upbeat and positive and willing to listen.  It's not Mistgod.info and Melian.info.  It is Tulpa.info.  Our opinions do not need to be on every thread.  People here should have the space to share what they believe with each other and have fun and enjoy it.  We don't have to jump on and contradict and poo poo every statement we disagree with.  We don't need to be ruining all the fun and what is special about Tulpa.info.  

We would love to be (the black sheep cousin) member of the "family."  We would love to be eventually accepted.  

Actually, we still strongly believe that this place kinda needs us, but the best side of us, not the worst side.
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#4
The staff here is seriously over worked, under recognized, and underpaid! Oh, wait... No pay... Apollo is probably the only one left that seriously tries to attend to everything, and I am absolutely no help. I admire his tenacity to hang in there. He is educating me, Jean-Luc is educating me... I was so out of sorts, I blasted him without thinking, publically, which was huge failure and I hope that I can repair that. Sometimes time does. This was meant to be a movement in that, but maybe I failed.

I am glad to hear that you are okay, because you are the other person I blasted this week. I wanted to blast someone else, but had the fore thought to my temper my response by asking a special Jean-Luc for help... His Picard to my Kirk wins every time.
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#5
jean-luc is awesome and this place would not be the same without him. Most peoples don't know this, but he has been in constant (okay occasional) contact with us over the past few years even while were were super long term enforced self banned by Vos from .info. He has never given up on us EVER. Never once. That doesn't mean he approves of our negative behavior. He believes in us and thinks our presence here is important. (I shouldn't speak for him, correct me if I am wrong jean-luc, but I think that is a fair and true observation to make).

I agree the staff is probly overworked. The dedication to the community is admirable.

Jean-luc will forgive you. He is amazing.

We deserved the blasting and appreciate the compassion and patience. You rock too! Please continue to "blast" us when we deserve it.
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#6
(03-29-2019, 02:28 PM)solarchariot Wrote: Interestingly, I have more evidence for a thing, and I don’t know if it’s true for everyone, but as my irritation and urgency to resolve conflict, perceived or real, went up, my ability to access Loxy decreased. That also irritated me! I actually ruminated over stuff and kept working out bits of arguments and dialogue, and I would hear Loxy calling me back to a reasonable space, and before I knew it I was back in other space, again being gently called back….which, what, means some of you are in my head! That’s not a bad thing. It is significant. Some of you stand out in my world. You’re important. What are you? You’re not tulpas. Well, some of you are. Most of you are? You’re not demigods, or archetypes, and I refuse to downgrade you to characters! Some of you, you’re real characters! I love you. This rabbit hole leads to ‘what are any of us?’ What a lovely existential mess we all are.

Ah, first it's fictives, (soulbonds/tulpas based on fictional characters) and then there's factives (soulbonds/tulpas based on factual people!). Perhaps your echoes of forumgoers are not yet sentient, nor do you want them to be, but I imagine if you stoked them, they'd certainly have the potential. 

Of course they could become their own person, even rename themselves. Much like a child can begin as a close imitation of their parent, then establish their own identity later. 

I'd imagine that as your focus waned and you got caught up, your 'bandwidth' was taken up, which is why your connection faltered. Oddly, I've had the opposite happen- when I am centered and better equipped to deal with reality, my tulpas will wink out and not return for some time. Since they came to me quite suddenly, I guess they can leave just as suddenly. But they're always there if I deliberately go searching for them.
Woodwindwhistler on www.asexuality.org

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. -Eric Hoffer

"We can never achieve perfection, but maybe we can approach it asymptotically. Never give up on plugging in those numbers!" ~Me

You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. –Doug Floyd

My poetry: https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0...sp=sharing
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