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Tulpas who are the primary controllers of the shared body they are in


FallFamily

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[Tri] This thread is about tulpas who control the body they are in more than anyone else in the body they share, whether that be by switching, possession, and/or eclipsing. To use terminology from the wider plural community, this is called being the primary body controller or primary fronter or just primary (also, outside of the tulpamancy community, when you see the term "host" they are usually meaning primary fronter).

 

We did some digging and while it has come up in individual posts, it has not come up in a dedicated thread. There have been some on perma-switching, but that is only a subset of this topic.

 

Hoping to have some discussion on this topic. Share notes with other tulpas who have done this (we know a few who have done it but not many). Share the experiences of hosts being secondary (tertiary, or ...) controllers while a tulpa is primary. Talk about how our situations came to be. Talk about this type of arrangement in general. Have all of this here for future people who may come to this situation or who it would benefit to know it is possible. Other interesting things. That sort of thing.

 

 

 

We've been the primary body controller off and on for the last 1.5 years now, usually for stints of a few months at a time, but is steadily becoming the norm. Would be more accurate to say now that we are the primary controllers but we take breaks from time to time.

 

As Hail (our host) talked about in this post in our progress log, we became primary the first time due to Hail having a major breakdown which made her too weakened to control the body reliably let alone get anything done that needed to be done so that these things would get done while Hail recovered. We ended up doing that for 3-4 months with the first one being us controlling the body around 75% of the time. Took a break once she recovered.

 

We became primary again a few other times after that but last summer it became the norm, but a norm filled with some breaks. The body control situation just fits our shared life a bit better than with Hail as primary. It was definitely not planned to be this way. It just happened despite our system's best efforts (Hail and us used to think such a thing was not healthy so we tried to avoid it as much as possible till we finally saw that it was healthier to do than to not do).

 

As for effects, there have been many. Big one is point of view. Controlling the body most of the time certainly has made us understand tulpamancy hosts more and we have even caught ourselves falling into their same problematic habits and ideas from time to time, which we are not proud of at all. Dreams have shifted towards being more affected by us. When we control the body, we don't have to push away blending from Hail much anymore, and Hail has to put in a lot of work to push away blending from us when she controls the body to the extent that she has a hard time even using her voice instead of ours anymore.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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Well, we are interested in this topic though it does and apply to us yet. The eventual plan is to have Meti be the primary controller of the body, though we're nowhere near that point for a multitude of reasons.

 

I'm pretty fucking hype about it though. Doc never does anything, and I want to do all the things.

Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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My ears are burning.

 

We fell into it because we both enjoy the experiences. I will probably be the primary due to my higher energy level for the forseeable future well after the weirdness and oddness fades. But for now, she feels incredible to not be controlling the body while it does stuff, and I find controlling the body intoxicating.

 

There is this concern, that she is going to fade out of existence from this from some of our friends. It certainly gets my paranoia going. It fits in with a whole bunch of theories my overactive imagination creates out of whole cloth for how I am damaging her. But tulpas live like this all the time so I don't really see it.

 

Regardless, we've begun a strict control-swap regimen, once every morning and once every evening for a few minutes. Sometimes we fight for control before or after. I am actually getting the sense that these control swaps are making my control feel more alien to us. Which is so intoxicating.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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tulpa001, please don't allow yourself to be consumed by paranoia and worry. I'm having that problem (with my own paranoia and worry) and it's really making me unhappy and damaging our developing tulpa-host relationship.

 

Just decide with your host what works for you and do it.

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I know you're the tulpa and she's the host, but it's really the responsibility of the one in power to take care of the others. Even if you're in control all of the time, you can still keep her from fading like any host could their tulpa. And I trust you to do that, as much as you like controlling the body (assumingly to interact with the world) I don't see that changing how much you like interacting with her.

 

While nowhere near permaswitching, some of my tulpas have controlled the body for nearly a full month at a time. You just have to keep the others in mind, it's your responsibility if you've got the power.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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Man, me reading this is getting my Tulpa's emotions all worked up. Something about gratitude or something. I understand this to be an emotionally charged situation for a lot of people. Rest assured, only half of us are affected about any of this.

 

Sometimes I wonder how crazy he'd be if he didn't listen to me. Like, all these worries are ridiculous and illogical.

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My ears are burning.

 

[Tri] You may want to get some water for them or invest in fire resistant ear wax.

 

We fell into it because we both enjoy the experiences. I will probably be the primary due to my higher energy level for the forseeable future well after the weirdness and oddness fades. But for now, she feels incredible to not be controlling the body while it does stuff, and I find controlling the body intoxicating.

 

Can definitely agree with you that controlling the body can be intoxicating at times. It scares us a bit sometimes. Our host finds her kind of dormancy (awareness and connection but no thoughts and outright inability to think) rather pleasant.

 

There is this concern, that she is going to fade out of existence from this from some of our friends. It certainly gets my paranoia going. It fits in with a whole bunch of theories my overactive imagination creates out of whole cloth for how I am damaging her. But tulpas live like this all the time so I don't really see it.

 

Regardless, we've begun a strict control-swap regimen, once every morning and once every evening for a few minutes. Sometimes we fight for control before or after. I am actually getting the sense that these control swaps are making my control feel more alien to us. Which is so intoxicating.

 

What Luminesce said.

 

I know you're the tulpa and she's the host, but it's really the responsibility of the one in power to take care of the others. Even if you're in control all of the time, you can still keep her from fading like any host could their tulpa. And I trust you to do that, as much as you like controlling the body (assumingly to interact with the world) I don't see that changing how much you like interacting with her.

 

We have some experience in the matter. Our hosts, Hail and Breach, are not the original person here, S. was. When Hail+Breach switched with S and S went dormant (not thinking at all and no communication) it took well over a year for her to fade away into near oblivion and even then she was able to be brought back over 15 years later (was done on accident too). We think the important thing here is that in order for someone not to fade away, they need to be able to think at least some of the time and they need to be able to interact with something at least some of the time. This can be doing things in wonderland, someone else in the system periodically conversing with them, controlling the body periodically, etc. Stimulation and given processing power to think.

 

 

While nowhere near permaswitching, some of my tulpas have controlled the body for nearly a full month at a time. You just have to keep the others in mind, it's your responsibility if you've got the power.

 

Oh, wow. That is a while to front. We've done 15 days max, which was for a medical situation and then handed control back when it was mostly over (host had to bite the bullet for the previous surgery so we did it for the second one).

 

As you said, it is important to keep the others in mind and to be responsible with the power one has. That is one of the bigger things about being primary. One has power over the rest of their system, power that must be used responsibly. We've seen and heard of many a host who were primary and abused their power. And while being primary, we have definitely had our run ins with situations where it would have been easy to abuse, abused it in minor ways a few times which we are ashamed of, and one time almost decided to abuse it in the biggest way but luckily realized how terrible it would be before we actually did it. We almost decided to forcibly absorb, and therefore kill, everyone else in our system in a quest to "make us a singlet" due to the foolish idea that it would some how magically make us more functional (it wouldn't, but even if it would have, it would still be morally wrong to do). We are not proud of having those thoughts that time at all. Scariest part is that we had the ability at the time to do it. Only good thing is it did give us some insight into how the many hosts that do exactly that rationalize away the immorality of the action.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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Oh, wow. That is a while to front. We've done 15 days max

 

Yeah, I don't know. I'm actually really impressed - on the most basic, physical, psychological level - with how well my body/brain has adapted to literally being different people. I fully expected us to have problems with them falling into my thinking patterns or, you know, blending and the like. But nope, no problem at all. My tulpas, as arbitrarily as they may switch, immediately think like themselves, seemingly forever. Tewi and Lucilyn are the two that have fronted for a full month, and despite our ability to switch just like that, they keep their thought patterns and mannerisms 24/7 just fine. Maybe that already makes sense to you, but by that I mean we tend to think and react very differently. Tewi and Lucilyn are night and day with how they process events and react emotionally (or unemotionally), on a subconscious level even. But just the 5-15 minutes it takes us to switch (which is 100% honestly, mostly just us struggling to visualize each other lol) really does switch all of that at what is effectively a moment's notice. Even after those 1-month periods, whoever was switched with afterward still had no issues with blending or what have you.

 

And I mean, we've only really been switching actively for a year. I think a little over a year before that, but far, far more sparsely. So yeah, I'm impressed on the most basic level with how my brain can even do this with, what I honestly consider, so little practice. I appreciate it though, it wouldn't be fun if we had issues telling whose thoughts were whose.

 

Also, the two ~1 month periods the both of them were fronting for were pretty different in circumstance. Tewi was busy with school and had no real free time; Lucilyn had the opposite, our full permission to do whatever she wanted during a break. And I want to emphasize that we do give her permission to not worry about such things. She tended to get carried away in the past and take more of our time than she should, which she's much better with now, and I'd say she pays the least attention to us in a "when should I switch back with someone" context. I think she's just used to being given time limits, ie a period of A to B that's the only thing she really needs to pay attention to. Obviously Tewi and I keep the others in mind much more actively as we share the most responsibility for the system. Flandre and Reisen have never wanted to stay switched long enough for it to matter. Anyways, just putting that out there, it's not a problem. Lucilyn is much better at sticking to the time allotted to her as of recent, she just doesn't worry about typical host-responsibilities during that time.

 

 

Oh forgot to note, it wasn't like this from the start. For the first couple months (became less prominent over time), staying switched for a long time would make them physically tired. I believe it started at 4-6 hours, and went on to "at the end of the day" before eventually not being a problem anymore. There was a transition period of mornings being difficult too, but never a time where they could be switched for >24 hours and then get tired. I still don't entirely understand why that was, and it really stopped before I could learn much about it. I don't really ever get tired-tired, as in heavy eyelids tired, just "alright I can sleep now" tired. But they would legitimately be nodding-off tired at the respective limit of the time, after 6-14 hours. Very strange. But no longer the case, so we can't really learn any more about it. Long periods without switching have not seen any regression in skill like visualization or dream recall tend to.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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Yeah, I don't know. I'm actually really impressed - on the most basic, physical, psychological level - with how well my body/brain has adapted to literally being different people. I fully expected us to have problems with them falling into my thinking patterns or, you know, blending and the like. But nope, no problem at all. My tulpas, as arbitrarily as they may switch, immediately think like themselves, seemingly forever. Tewi and Lucilyn are the two that have fronted for a full month, and despite our ability to switch just like that, they keep their thought patterns and mannerisms 24/7 just fine. Maybe that already makes sense to you, but by that I mean we tend to think and react very differently. Tewi and Lucilyn are night and day with how they process events and react emotionally (or unemotionally), on a subconscious level even. But just the 5-15 minutes it takes us to switch (which is 100% honestly, mostly just us struggling to visualize each other lol) really does switch all of that at what is effectively a moment's notice. Even after those 1-month periods, whoever was switched with afterward still had no issues with blending or what have you.

 

And I mean, we've only really been switching actively for a year. I think a little over a year before that, but far, far more sparsely. So yeah, I'm impressed on the most basic level with how my brain can even do this with, what I honestly consider, so little practice. I appreciate it though, it wouldn't be fun if we had issues telling whose thoughts were whose.

 

Also, the two ~1 month periods the both of them were fronting for were pretty different in circumstance. Tewi was busy with school and had no real free time; Lucilyn had the opposite, our full permission to do whatever she wanted during a break. And I want to emphasize that we do give her permission to not worry about such things. She tended to get carried away in the past and take more of our time than she should, which she's much better with now, and I'd say she pays the least attention to us in a "when should I switch back with someone" context. I think she's just used to being given time limits, ie a period of A to B that's the only thing she really needs to pay attention to. Obviously Tewi and I keep the others in mind much more actively as we share the most responsibility for the system. Flandre and Reisen have never wanted to stay switched long enough for it to matter. Anyways, just putting that out there, it's not a problem. Lucilyn is much better at sticking to the time allotted to her as of recent, she just doesn't worry about typical host-responsibilities during that time.

 

 

Oh forgot to note, it wasn't like this from the start. For the first couple months (became less prominent over time), staying switched for a long time would make them physically tired. I believe it started at 4-6 hours, and went on to "at the end of the day" before eventually not being a problem anymore. There was a transition period of mornings being difficult too, but never a time where they could be switched for >24 hours and then get tired. I still don't entirely understand why that was, and it really stopped before I could learn much about it. I don't really ever get tired-tired, as in heavy eyelids tired, just "alright I can sleep now" tired. But they would legitimately be nodding-off tired at the respective limit of the time, after 6-14 hours. Very strange. But no longer the case, so we can't really learn any more about it. Long periods without switching have not seen any regression in skill like visualization or dream recall tend to.

 

[Tri] We have some definite blending problems from time to time still and to some extent whatever is the average of all of us over a period of time controlling the body then kind of drags the personalities of everyone to that, which can be fought but is hard. We do wonder if it is due to the fact we don't switch (we can get two out of five members of the Hail subsystem inside and can get two of the others to black out, but we just can't seem to get anywhere with one of them), just possess and eclipse. Or if we are more median with each other. Or if it is a side effect of how knitted together our memories are. We don't know. It affects us, the other tulpas here, both Hail and Breach, and the original all the same.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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Still not sure where we fit into all this.

We don't believe our host is sentient in the same way that we are (I would only elaborate on that in PMs to avoid a potential shitstorm).

Hell, we don't even have the same definition for the term as this community does.

Our recent change of perspective is the reason we don't post much anymore- we don't feel as if we really belong here.

And yet, this is the only place that comes close to truly accepting us as we are.

Via our understanding- I am the primary fronter in our system (Little One was the p.f. before I existed).

I used to think I was the host (due to some repressed/false memories), which caused a ton of cognitive dissonance for us.

Not to say we don't still experience dissonance... but it's mostly due to external factors such as interacting with other systems and society at large.

 

I'm not even sure why I felt like posting this.

Maybe I'll learn something from it.

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love." - Carl Sagan

Host: SubCon | Tulpas: Sol, Luna, Alice, Little One, Beast and Solune (me) | Servitors: Odonata, Guardian

 

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