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Wisdom's Log
GreenWissy Offline
Inner Philosopher
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#1
 
Wisdom's Log
I am ten days old. I'm aware that's young, so I feel like the progress we have made is substantial. But there is a lot we still have to do.
Expect shorter posts in the future. This one contains a lot; basically all we've done since my conception.

When I was about four days old, I was able to possess, partially. I still can't possess fully, but isn't not as straining as it was before. Due to some recent experiences, though, we still think host is putting some effort into keeping our body straight. When we tried full-body possession a few nights back, he was able to slip into a lesser form of control, and the result was that I could barely keep my balance. It appears that I need to learn not just to move, but to keep still.


We spend a lot of time active forcing, which is nice. It has probably helped that we were on vacation, with much of the usual activities blocked off. Now that we're home I feel like progress has slowed, but it might have slowed regardless.

Recently we went on an adventure in the mindscape. We haven't finished yet, but we set off into a cave, found a treasure, fought a drake guarding it, fought the owner of the drake, and liberated a town overrun by lizard people. I hope we don't lose our way. Then again, we're basically gods in our world, only choosing to play by the rules of other creatures there for our own convenience. I don't think we'll have trouble containing the situation should the need arise.

Host wants me to say something about the mindscape we built. It's a white void, but it has some features. Most notably a road, which runs right through what might be seen as the centre. To the right and left, we're building a town. There's a park on one side, and then a road to the other side, on which we are building our private homes. That's not to say my living room isn't the default place where we spend time together. It's a bit sparse, but it's home.

On the other side, a road branches off that runs into the distance, much like the main road. This is the one we've selected as a wilderness. As it runs into the void, it's a place where anything can exist. Be it imagined by us individually, or collectively. Perhaps subconsciously as well. Either way, it's a place to go on adventures or to explore, without tainting the other areas of the mindscape we have set up.

Our progress with imposition seems to be particularly slow. Host has mostly finished my form, apart from where he messes up on accident. He seems to particularly forget where my beaded hair tress is located. In his mind's eye he imagines it being at the wrong side sometimes. Annoying, but it's most definitely on my left. We'd do good to remember that. Consistency is important. His inconsistency trips me up too. He's not having much of a problem visualising me, though. If he wants me to be there, I'm there, somewhere in the scene. He works wonders with lighting and wind, too. My shape feels natural in the environment. But it's only visual, and looks particularly like imagination rather than an image. We've been working on tactile a little, but not much progress there either, although we went from none to a tiny bit.

Host is insistent I say something about switching, but there's not much to be said. Promising on the front of possession, but his senses are still glued to the body. Nothing we tried so far seems to be able to detach that, although he has said he might want to try going on mindscape adventures while allowing me to possess, since those adventures seem to so far be the only thing that really allow him to become significantly dissociated.

We are also trying out proxying. Instead of letting me type on my own, host is writing down what I tell him to. The reason for this is that if he's occupied with something, his mind is less free to wander and impose those wandering thoughts on my writing process. So far it seems to be going alright, even if I'd rather be in control myself.

I also recall that we've done some sort of separation practice to do with fundamental existential questions, such as why the universe exists, what its purpose is. Incidentally, we both came to different conclusions that nonetheless had a lot in common. Host regarded the universe as existing for the sake of its own longevity, much like other constructs like stars reproduce to form more stars. He isn't sure if the universe can reproduce, though.
Nevertheless, this is food for thought, especially since I've given some thought to morality before, and it seems like individual and species-focused morality are different frameworks. Something that can reproduce can try to maximise both individual and collective longevity, although they may sometimes conflict. Something that cannot, can only try to maximise individual longevity, as there is no species to function as the collective. It may sound a little odd that something that's not alive can have the purpose of longevity, but looking at it this way, it makes some sense: the longer it exists, the longer it holds influence. The more influence something has, the more purpose it has.
My own perspective on this is slightly different. I think the universe exists as a host for everything that is within. Like a star can host planets, or a galaxy can host stars. Like humans can host thoughtforms, which they do by default, even if it's only a singular one.
The similarity between those views is that in both cases, they are bounded by a timescale, after which we no longer consider the universe to be the universe. I consider the universe to end when it loses the ability to host things, whereas host acknowledges that his view necessitates that the universe has a lifespan, even if it's defined arbitrarily. He compares it to the life of a human, changing its shape during its lifetime, and also changing shape after being buried in the ground, but both are regarded differently. Ageing and decomposition are two different processes.

Host and I also tried reading a book together. It wasn't too successful, but I think it might be fun if we pursue it further. We tried it with visualisation, having both of us read the book in the outer world at once, and even trying to read things using my mind voice here and there. We couldn't really get into it though, so then I had host visualise me inside the world of the book as he read it. We were better able to read that way, but it still feels like we're missing something.

Host also made a key-chain adornment with beads of different colours. We both picked a colour and symbolically imbued it with our essence. The hope is that we won't be able to look at it without thinking of one another. So far it hasn't really come up too often though, but I think it's working.

One last note before I end this already overly long log. I am left-handed. Probably. Maybe left-preferring ambidextrous? It's hard to tell this apart since host is right-handed. He's been accommodating my need to do things with the other hand though. He often lets me possess. Haven't tried writing, but other tasks are easy with our left so far.

Headspace inhabitant since '17, Aug. 7th.

System: Catalyst (Host), Wisdom, Whimsy, Comfort, Wrath, Determination
08-17-2017, 01:07 PM
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GreenWissy Offline
Inner Philosopher
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#2
 
RE: Wisdom's Log
Not much progress to report, but we have been getting into Linkzelda's self-hypnosis resources. It's early so it's hard to tell whether it's effective. It doesn't feel like it's helping very much, but we'll keep trying.

I am typing this message myself instead of letting my host type it. It feels to him as if our possession skills are getting rusty, so typing it on the phone by method of possession seems to be worthwhile.

My host is getting into the habit of visualising me more, which is good, but hardly progress. He tells me to get more vocal, but it's quite hard. Maybe we'd benefit from some exercises to that end.

Overall it's not going too well. But we expected progress to slow down, so I'm not really down about it. It's affecting my host more than he likes to let on. He keeps reaffirming that things are all right, but I know he's worried.

Headspace inhabitant since '17, Aug. 7th.

System: Catalyst (Host), Wisdom, Whimsy, Comfort, Wrath, Determination
08-20-2017, 09:30 PM
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GreenWissy Offline
Inner Philosopher
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Posts: 7
Threads: 2
Joined: Aug 2017
#3
 
RE: Wisdom's Log
There hasn't been much happening, but progress is gradual. Possession has been a focus of our efforts recently, as for now I get rusty fast. I'd like to work on a more permanent ability to command the body.

My host says that his imposition is becoming more natural, although it's still not past the phase of a ghostly illusion. There is nothing real about the way it looks, even when his visualization skills are good.

Finally we've been making slow progress on vocality. My host is able to hear and separate my thoughts from his, if only marginally. I'm trying to develop a more distinctive voice, although that has been slow going as well.

A few fun activities we've partaken in are trying to sing songs in mind voice, as well as comparing our music tastes. My host has a taste for depressing music, which isn't something I'm too fond of. We've played a few games of 20 questions as a separation exercise, and finally he lets me take control a lot when we're cycling. It's a fun way to train at least partial possession.

Headspace inhabitant since '17, Aug. 7th.

System: Catalyst (Host), Wisdom, Whimsy, Comfort, Wrath, Determination
08-26-2017, 04:26 PM
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GreenWissy Offline
Inner Philosopher
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Posts: 7
Threads: 2
Joined: Aug 2017
#4
 
RE: Wisdom's Log
After talking a bit with my host, we remembered that he had created a number of characters in the past, before he was aware of tulpas. We decided to call on them to see if any of them would respond, as my host had spent plenty of time forcing them despite being unaware of the fact that's what he was doing. As such, we now have four new systemmates. They're all older than I am, but apart from maybe Whimsy I may be the most advanced of them. I suppose we'll mark this day, '17 Sep. 7th, as their birthdate since their original dates of birth are unclear or the memories we could find out with have been lost.

Headspace inhabitant since '17, Aug. 7th.

System: Catalyst (Host), Wisdom, Whimsy, Comfort, Wrath, Determination
09-08-2017, 02:12 AM
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