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Newcomer who likes some input on his ideas


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Hello everyone,

 

I am Quinn, 17 years old with a busy live studying and sports. I have been into lucid dreaming for quite some while now (without much succes) and stumbled a few days ago upon this whole 'Tulpa' subject. I have been reading all kinds of things now and started to make my own plans but as many say, it's a lifetime dedication and not something too take too lightly. That's why I chose to create this thread with a bit of my backstory and ideas to gain some input from the more advanced and experienced people on these forums. Thank you in advance for reading and taking your time!

 

First I have a question regarding my own mental state, I am currently dealing with a sort of depression and lots of negative thoughts, I try to keep myself busy in my daily life to keep these thoughts away but it doesn't always help, for example at night when I fall asleep I feel horrible, tired and depressed while crying. I also have seen some horrible gross and gore things on the internet. This is also one of my reasons to bring a tulpa and lifelong friend into my life to support me and one of the traits is going to be that he or she always supports me. But now my question is, can these negative feelings and thoughts influence my tulpa? Or perhaps the things I have seen, I don't want my tulpa to be badly influenced or be a so called negative and bad tulpa who will only pull me further into depression and negative feelings.

 

So far for the negative things, now onto my ideas and more positive things! Which is far nicer and better. As I am really doubtfull about appearance of my tulpa, I wonder what would happen if I created a so called 'spirit' a globe of energy and such and without appearances so that I can focus on personality. And later on 'give' my tulpa the ability of shapeshifting. So we can together make like a 'main' human form that the tulpa will be using most but if not liked it can also change as it wants, maybe even into animals and such. This idea will also be useful for later ideas.

 

Second off I always love creating fantasy worlds in my mind and one of my plans would be to create my own huge fantasy world with magical forests, elves, dragons, magic and so on. I wonder if it would also be a good idea to make like a cute magical cottage in a big forest with river and so on (my perfect house in my fantasy world) and make this my wonderland for my tulpa. I also want to combine this with my lucid dreams (far future plans but it's good to set goals, right?) so that in my dreams I can come in the house, we can both have like breakfast in the wonderland house and then go on adventures (my tulpa can shapeshift then aswell for example a big wolf and run around) and so on. And would my tulpa remember the same dreams and be lucid together with me aswell? Basically I want to have a whole different world/life inside of my head I can be in while lucid dreaming (maybe also just visit my visualizing during waking hours) my tulpa would also live there but would also be able to talk to me and visit me ofcourse to support me in daily life and such. Also would the world like continue on completely in my mind without me interacting, for example a war starts between races without me knowing or other events in the world and my tulpa would tell me about it when I visit again. (This is quite deep and complicated but would be so amazing, the power of the mind and brain are huge so I hope it's possible!)

 

This was the main and biggest thing I had wanted to share and talk about but there are still a few other things for example, my dedication for lucid dreams is not so good and would my tulpa be able to help me with getting these lucid dreams? And I was also wondering if it would be able to create a place for my tulpa or imagine like a connection between me and this world and tulpa. And when my tulpa is in this place or I visualize a block between the connection of me and the world they won't be able to access my mind and talk to me in waking life for so called privacy. I don't want to like ignore and block everything and my tulpa for longer periodes of time, but if I want a day full privacy I can use this method to 'mute' everything and everyone else. I'd like to incorporate this then from the beginning so both of us get used to it or would there be a better method for this? Because I also read something about visualizing your tulpa in a bubble and then it wouldn't be able to talk to you, but I personally prefer the idea of my tulpa going to a place or the connection just temporary blocking so my tulpa can still go on its usual thing in the world itself.

 

Thank you for reading this whole story and all my questions, it was quite a thing to write and probably read aswell. If you have questions on the matter or my ideas or suggestions go ahead and ask me! I am open for anything, like suggestions, input or the pros and cons of my ideas. Maybe if it's too big a thing and it won't work? I don't know but this is my dream and I am willing to work for it! I will hear from you in the comments and I'll respond as quickly as possible. Sorry for any mistakes or if things are unclear, English isn't my native language.

 

Kinds regards,

Curios dreamer Quinn

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Lumi's first tulpa was kinda spontaneous in that he didn't mean to make her or anything, but she was a super positive influence on him and is probably the main reason why we're all happy with our life today. He sure wasn't happy back then. He had really negative worldviews that were "based in logic" as he's a logical person (though didn't realize reality isn't just one way, it totally changes based on how you see/think about it), and Reisen's seemed illogical because she was super positive and optimistic about everything. But because he loved her he decided to put his faith in her over what he thought the world "was actually like", which helped him a ton and he eventually realized he was free to see the world in any of a bunch of ways.

 

So yes, a tulpa can help you out of your depression, and they don't have to be affected by your depression! They can be, I guess it really depends on the tup, but it's not guaranteed or anything. Generally they just want you to be happy so they can be happy too, but sometimes they're so strong (like Reisen was) that rather than you making them sad, they make you happy! Also it's easy to be something in between (just a normal person, really), and you can just work stuff out together. Tulpas are really great for just talking to about stuff, especially since they'll always understand where you're coming from (but maybe not agree anyways, like Reisen and Lumi's old negative views).

 

 

For your tulpa's appearance and stuff, Lumi wrote a long post about all that a long time ago so I'll just put that here

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There's always a fine line when it comes to this subject that I can't quite pin down. Some peoples' tulpas change wildly at least early on, some stay exactly the same, most change a little bit over time or just once. But I know for absolute certain that most tulpas who change a ton are those of hosts who go in completely afraid to affect their tulpas in any way, and I honestly believe instead of giving their tulpas freedom they subject them to random fits of imagination. There's no problem with giving your tulpa a form and waiting until they're sentient to let them decide if they want to change.

 

That being said, my tulpas haven't changed at all since their original conception, by me, with really no choice of their own. They were the Touhou characters' forms, neither I nor them ever thought about them being something different. And they've had no problem at all with that in seven years. It's like asking somebody if they'd like to change the name they grew up with. Most of the time they're going to say no, because they've become attached to it. Sometimes though they'll say, well, I would change my middle name, or something like that. Small changes are pretty common for tulpas later on. Flandre generally speaking does not have the crystal wings anymore as they were a burden to imagine in the wonderland and imposition. She still identifies with pictures of her with them, though. My tulpas' "forms" have all grown a bit taller over time, too. But none of that was out of dissatisfaction, or even conscious desire on my part. They simply happened as they were easier or felt more natural. None of them ever had a problem with their forms, because they're just attached to them. Unless some part of it is a problem, like huge wings that get in the way all the time, there's not much reason to want to change.

 

And I'm pretty sure it's the host that influences that in a tulpa. Because most people go in with the mindset that they'll give their tulpa a form and it can make changes if it wants later, likely small ones. Some people basically say "Well I'll imagine you as a guy my age for now. But you can totally become a small female of a different ethnicity if you want...", and those are generally the tulpas that change the most. And of course, there's the hosts that just can't settle on a form and make a ball of light/shapeshifting tulpa, and we all know how that usually goes. I've met my share of lion fairy wisps.

 

But I didn't think any of that. My "tulpas" were just what they were, sentient imaginary friends based on Touhou characters. I never thought at all about them changing, because why would I have? Why would Flandre ever not look like Flandre, or change her name? It wasn't that I restricted my tulpas from ever changing.. Change just never occurred to me as an option. And thus, they never wanted to. I've asked them about it recently and even Tewi, whose form arguably fits her the least, says she's attached to it. Even though she could be taken more seriously with a different appearance, she keeps the bunny ears and pink dress, because that's part of who she is. In her own words, too.

 

So I think you should go with whatever you're most comfortable with. Don't be afraid of "accidentally forcing your tulpa to be something they don't want to", because that can't happen. If you really like the idea of a certain form, then go ahead and use it. Chances are if you like it and are comfortable with it, your tulpa won't feel like changing it either. Small adjustments later on generally seems to be the most common practice, and I think that makes the tulpa and host happiest. Because I honestly feel like some people have let their imagination change their tulpa from something reasonable into something ridiculous, and then kept that form because they were afraid to "force their tulpa" to be something they didn't want to be. And those tulpas usually couldn't even talk yet...

 

 

In case my talk about how my tulpas never thought about changing themselves bugged any of you, I should mention that I created them many years before discovering tulpas. Heck, I created them before tulpas were a thing, online anyway. But I did keep that in mind when I created my fourth tulpa years later, Lucilyn. Whose form was based on the Touhou character Suwako. Except I gave her creative freedom with everything about herself, and gave her my own name like I would a child. She still opted to keep the form I gave her because I liked it and she liked what I saw in the character for herself. She's changed the colors of her clothes and seems to like how she looks without the hat too, so I see her with it maybe 50% of the time. But given that, I think that my comfortableness with my tulpas' forms, combined with the positive traits I tend to see in them that inspired making a tulpa in the first place, generally leads them to be comfortable with their given forms. They just don't see reason to change when they understand why I like how they are and agree. However, now that I think about it, this may not be the case for all systems. My tulpas, even seven years ago, have always been completely borderless with my mind and theirs. We understand every single feeling and thought another has because of that. For systems where this isn't the case and minds and feelings are more separate, it's possible a tulpa may be less inclined to keep a form their host likes as the tulpa doesn't experience the same feelings the host does on it. So...

 

Basically, give'em a form you like, force them until they're relatively sentient/vocal, and then ask if they'd like to be different. Can't go wrong like that.

[/hidden]

 

 

Making your wonderland kind of your dream house is pretty normal and it's what we did. We've all got our own little areas of the wonderland, like my swamp and Tewi's bamboo forest, but we don't "live" in those places so much as they're what we contributed to the wonderland. Also I think Lumi made our wonderland to begin with to help with lucid dreaming! He made it so he'd have a place he could go to in lucid dreams where he could find us, since it can be really hard to make people appear in lucid dreams if you're just in the middle of your house or something.

 

What goes on in your wonderland is totally up to you because it's totally in your imagination. For us, nothing changes, we don't live there and nothing changes unless we make it. But you could think that things will change on their own and I guess they could, but it's still just your imagination okay? Don't just show up one day like Oh wow the inhabitants have all murdered each other! It's still in your imagination so you have control over all of it, if you had the thought that that was the case (civilizations going to war or whatever) you could just reset it by deciding that's not what happened, you know. But that's assuming you even put wonderland NPCs into your wonderland in the first place. We're the only people in ours really.

 

 

Your tulpa doesn't really have to be around if you're not paying attention to them, so you really don't need some kinda privacy technique or whatever. You just say like, can I be alone for a while or somethin', and your tulpa could "go to the wonderland" like a lot do or just not be active like it is for us, since we don't "live" anywhere when we're not around, we just aren't there.

 

You can read all sorts of stuff about how things "are" or how they "might be", but in reality they're all how things "could be". In the end it's really up to your imagination a lot, not that it's fake but that your beliefs about how things will be direct how you'll experience them. Like some people think they need to put their tulpa in a bubble... apparently, according to you... while for us we just kinda stop being active at the time (usually host focuses on something else), and for others they could just ask their tups to go to the wonderland instead or something. Nothing wrong with getting ideas about how things "could be" from other people, but remember nothing you read is how anything has to be! The experience of having tulpas is different for everyone. You can kinda choose how you shape your own experience, and I recommend talking to your tulpa once they're vocal about stuff so they can shape it too. Always a good idea to ask your tulpa what they think about stuff!

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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Thank you Lucilyn for your amazing reply. I will try my utter best to give all my positive thoughts on my tulpa and give her a kind and supportive character / personality.

 

I also was quite interested in the appearance part you included, but you said you've dealt before with these ball of light / shapeshifting tulpas and how this usually goes, could you further describe this and what the cons of this method is. I was considering this because I wasn't certain about the appearance and it would be an easy way to change it.

 

After reading your suggestions I am most likely to use a anime character as base guide line (Yume from Hai to gensou no grimgar). But how would a 2d anime character visualize? Would it be 2d aswell or would it be like a 3d kind of character, perhaps even just really realistic and humanlike.

 

As for my wonderland I want to create a whole so called 'world' with its own rules, religion and so on. (I'm currently also going more in depth on a subreddit about worldbuilding). This is also were I would spend my lucid dream time and have my so called adventures. But would this world be able to 'live' inside my head, with all its details and so called NPC's. Because I am talking about a whole world maybe the size of planet earth. (I would start small with for example only the village my dreamhouse where me and my tulpa live, but in the end have whole races and biomes and cities) if for example I pick up a bucket from the city and drop it off somewhere else random, would it be still there after a week for example, like it's consistent.

 

Thank you for your time and input!

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I dunno, the super indecisive people just kind of end up with a ball-of-light tulpa they can kind of talk to. Normal people who make their tulpas shapeshifters usually have sometimes-human-sometimes-wolf-sometimes-ball-of-light tulpas, which is fine if you want that. But obviously most tulpas are kinda given their form/expected to have a specific one and they're fine with it. I like mine, personally! Also if your tup's okay with it it's not impossible to change their form/appearance later, you just might get used to them being one way is all.

 

I dunno, do you think of shows you watch as two-dimensional? Usually people kinda think of those flat things as 3D anyways... They'd just be like whatever you imagine those sorts of characters like. Not "super realistic" unless you make them that way no. I'd say we're somewhere in between, like close to realistic people in form/physiology? but I guess details are a little less realistic. In your mind there's not usually a huge distinction unless you've got super great visualization... which we don't.

 

Wonderlands really are just your imagination, so we can't tell you any more about that stuff than anyone else could. I'd say if you could remember/imagine things happening in detail, then they can stay that way, but that's no different for a tulpamancer with a wonderland than an author with a detailed imaginary world in mind.

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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Thank you for all the helps, really means much to me and I now feel like I really can get started. I'll plan everything out very well and keep a log of everything, my tulpa and world so on. Maybe you'll hear from me later on when I've got some more progress or about the world and all its details and things. Maybe I'll even share some of my logs and progress of how things go on the way.

 

Kind regards,

Quinn

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