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Would trauma affect a growing tulpa?
#1
this has probably been asked before but all i've seen were blank answers everywhere i look. 

i really love M a bunch and i'm working really hard to teach her good things in life. even when intrusive thoughts come i always explain that it wasn't me controlling that action but just my mind racing or doing something strange. i've been through many things in my life that i don't feel comfortable sharing (i can't even remember many things that happened as well) and even though it's much better than before, there's still issues that come up without my control that i'm around. i even had to set her aside for a few months to protect her because if i kept forcing around the environment i was in it would of been pretty bad.

as much as i try to teach M good from wrong, i'm worried that that the things i'm around could hurt her. even though i tell her and myself it won't (and even give her headphones to listen to her favorite music to block out bad noises or things when they do happen), there's still a part of me that just wants the best for her. she's very sweet and loving and i don't want her to be affected or go through things i went through before. this is just a random question that sometimes pops into my mind and i was just wondering. i also am giving her access to memories but i always tell her that the bad, terrible, or memories i forgot are off limits for her safety always. i really really care for her ):

hhh sorry if this is a stupid question but i love her so much and i feel like a worried mom lol
no, lana del rey is not my tulpa
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#2
Well yes, trauma can and does affect tulpas/headmates just like it would affect anyone. It's just a matter of how it affects them. I'd say, don't be so worried to the point where you completely protect/shield her from trauma, and don't be afraid of her changing as a result of trauma. In addition to that, however, help her learn to cope and deal with things, like how to handle her own emotions. I think it'll turn out fine in the end, just don't baby her but still give her a supportive shoulder when she needs it, and of course love and accept her however she might turn out.
I'm Indigo Blue, the "Sky Dragon" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa born October 2017. My systemmates are ApolloPiano, & Luxio. Form images: 1 2
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#3
Bear shelters us from new stuff sometimes, and we appreciate that.

[Dashie] uh, I sheltered him sometimes.

[Bear] It's entirely between you two, sheltering her just means she doesn't have to be traumatized, i don't see how that's a bad thing. We feel proud of you for that, it's very kind.
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#4
(07-19-2019, 09:08 PM)Indigo Wrote:
Well yes, trauma can and does affect tulpas/headmates just like it would affect anyone. It's just a matter of how it affects them. I'd say, don't be so worried to the point where you completely protect/shield her from trauma, and don't be afraid of her changing as a result of trauma. In addition to that, however, help her learn to cope and deal with things, like how to handle her own emotions. I think it'll turn out fine in the end, just don't baby her but still give her a supportive shoulder when she needs it, and of course love and accept her however she might turn out.

thank you for answering especially knowing you're a tulpa yourself (for insight)! i'll try to let her deal with situations but at the same time i'll protect her from super bad things, like using her headphones to block those things out.

however her personality turns out to be i'll be happy with (:, she's always been very loving and i think that's what i was scared about. whenever i felt down or a little upset i could feel her sending emotional responses that made me feel really happy again (they felt super alien so it was cool to experience), and that's one of the ways we truly communicated at the time. 
i didn't feel them for a while so i was worried that my triggers or anything around us that can cause me to dissociate or have a panic attack affected her, but after sitting down in wonderland and hanging out with her i see that it's helping her grow into her own person. thank you again <3

also i was reviewing this right now to post and i feel some emotions coming through so 0:
(07-19-2019, 10:29 PM)Misha Wrote: Bear shelters us from new stuff sometimes, and we appreciate that.

[Dashie] uh, I sheltered him sometimes.

[Bear] It's entirely between you two, sheltering her just means she doesn't have to be traumatized, i don't see how that's a bad thing. We feel proud of you for that, it's very kind.

thank you all! i'm really trying hard because soon i think i'll be able to get out of this situation so we won't have to worry about big triggers or anything anymore (hopefully) <3 

M is growing from this too, so i'm proud to say that she'll probably be the strongest in our system even if she's the smallest person in our system (i think i felt her say HEY when i was writing that lol)
no, lana del rey is not my tulpa
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#5
Actually, I have to say I'm the strongest here so far, it's not because Bear sheltered me, but because it's in my personality, my TNA right? Some tulpas are tougher than you think, I can easily shrug off stuff that left Bear in a vegetative state (not literally.)

We've more or less fixed and toughened up Bear so he's back to being pretty tough now, but I'm still better at handling stuff. Triggers are how we learned to switch, I'd trigger in and he'd go crawl under a desk with Misha. Ashley helped too, but she's just mature enough to not get wrapped up in outside drama.

You don't need trauma to grow, I don't feel like I learned anything by taking hits, so to speak.

One last thing, his emotional issues never affected us. We felt sorry for him, but it was his issues, not ours. We were able to stay calm and talk him down from his emotional spirals, so you shouldn't have to protect her from yourself at least.

[Bear] I swear, Dashie's essence was born in a girl I knew in New York, she's just a boss and she doesn't take anything from anyone. Under direct assault she's laughing. The New Yorkers I knew were tough as nails. I really liked that attitude.
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#6
(07-20-2019, 01:20 AM)Dashie Bear Wrote: Actually, I have to say I'm the strongest here so far, it's not because Bear sheltered me, but because it's in my personality, my TNA right? Some tulpas are tougher than you think, I can easily shrug off stuff that left Bear in a vegetative state (not literally.)

We've more or less fixed and toughened up Bear so he's back to being pretty tough now, but I'm still better at handling stuff. Triggers are how we learned to switch, I'd trigger in and he'd go crawl under a desk with Misha. Ashley helped too, but she's just mature enough to not get wrapped up in outside drama.

You don't need trauma to grow, I don't feel like I learned anything by taking hits, so to speak.

One last thing, his emotional issues never affected us. We felt sorry for him, but it was his issues, not ours. We were able to stay calm and talk him down from his emotional spirals, so you shouldn't have to protect her from yourself at least.

[Bear] I swear, Dashie's essence was born in a girl I knew in New York, she's just a boss and she doesn't take anything from anyone. Under direct assault she's laughing. The New Yorkers I knew were tough as nails. I really liked that attitude.

honestly i said that because she's the only (sentient) headmate at the moment and having to go through this stuff. today kept building up until i finally had a really bad breakdown due to constant triggers that lasted for hours but i just kept vizualizing her listening to music and watching tv to try to make her happier. i felt bad because i got to a point where i kept thinking terrible thoughts about myself so i tried to direct those away really fast. at one point though when i was crying really hard i closed my eyes and saw her hug and comfort me and i think say that it was all going to be alright. i might of felt some alien "happiness?" also before it began and that's how we used to really communicate so maybe she was trying to say something, i'll be sure to ask her when we force later :0

we're still working on vocalization so moments like these really cheer me up. i'll be sure to also tell M my issues are only mine and that she's her own person :,) thank you all again
no, lana del rey is not my tulpa
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#7
Wow, that sounds familiar. You'll get through it, especially with a loving tulpa at your side, it's a lot easier than beong alone. I was and am 'the comfort'.
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