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Aeiou

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  1. Emma said icecream literally the second i'd finished reading that sentence. That is the fastest response i've ever gotten holy shit, shame i don't care for ice cream very much.
  2. Aeiou

    She's gone

    Had emma disappear on me once, it was a very unpleasant feeling. I imagine you're not feeling the best right now :(
  3. Having someone else to share the sad lonely life of being old with. Not a bad deal really.
  4. I personally took Emma through some particularly strong memories as a way of exposing her to extremes of emotion. It helped me make a LOT of progress that week.
  5. She has the name i think is the prettiest and what i'd name a daughter if i was to have one.
  6. It's how i see my now two tulpa, it's an arrangement we're all happy with. Originally was curious about a more romantic type thing, but just wasn't feeling it i guess, not quite sure how to describe it.
  7. I had a second tulpa appear from nowhere, though i actually had things being the cause instead of it just happening out of nowhere. It's a weird experience to be sure.
  8. Alright so after a large delay, due to a combination of laziness, videogames, stuff to do (in that order) i've been quite a while without an update, but progress has been made. In fact some rather gigantic and weird progress to report; I think i've got two tulpa now. After doing passive narration for Emma when i remembered to, i felt like progress wasn't really going along too much, been struggling with a constant state of tiredness so sitting down for a proper forcing session resulted in instant sleep most of the time. However as of about a week ago i felt Emma kind of...disappear i guess, not a lack of feeling her there but actually disappear, so after trying to "find" her in a manner of speaking i get a response from someone i hadn't met, who looks radically different to Emma. Turns out my lack of time put in made Emma sad, or at least that's how i've interpreted it and i believe she wanted to make sure i really cared, for some reason this led to someone else popping up by the name of Tina (a name i most definitely didn't choose, not a name i'm fond of but a name doesn't make a person after all) Who is incredibly bouncy and energetic, whereas Emma is more reserved, taking more of the intellectual traits i narrated to her. This is a startling turn of events, because with Tina there i still couldn't see Emma, until today when i just told Tina i wanted Emma back - She'd been telling me she was "gone" when i was asking where she was - and all of a sudden Emma is back, more reserved than she was but back; I think my lack of effort affected her more than i would've imagined and i feel horrible about it. Now on top of that, when i forced today they were both sitting in the kind of grassy type lake area i originally was using as to center myself, i could never turn around from the water and visualise it, but they were in the part i'd never visualised and i could see it and them which is amazing for me, i've had large doubt throughout the process; Emma was sitting down, in sitting relaxed but quietly while watching Tina just fly around about a foot off the ground (Yeah she can fly but i can't see any wings or anything on her, she's a very slender tall kind of build so it was pretty funny to watch actually) and on top of that i seem to get an aura from them when looking at them, Emma being a blueish purple and Tina being a mix of Yellow/Orange mixing together and always changing. Being the doubting person i am, i asked Tina to say the first word she thought of, i was surprised when she just yelled "PENIS" because that was obviously not a word you'd expect to be yelled; Mindvoice for them isn't a constant thing, but it IS slowly becoming more distinct, very slowly, i still have doubt because i'm terrified of falling into the parroting/roleplaying trap but they're there most definitely. I think another part of Emma being unhappy was the environment we were in, it was too small for her and an open field seemed to make her a lot happier, either way she's very quiet now, i can't help but suspect the bouncier parts of her personality split off into Tina to create two seperate entities, i'd love some feedback on that actually would help a lot. So i've probably missed a detail or two here and there, but there you have it, a man who had one suddenly has two without ever asking for it or expecting it. Edit: A detail that just occurred to me is I think Emma was trying to deviate her look sometimes, i base that off her look "feeling" different if you know what i mean, without me quite able to see, these are changes i didn't really welcome as such, thinking of them as intrusive thoughts but it would make sense if she was trying to deviate and it was making her unhappy that i was stopping the changes, despite it being me labelling it as an instrusive thought. oh god i'm an ass >_> Pretty crazy really.
  9. Issue i have, thankfully Emma has changed the wonderland VERY distinctly a couple of times, so it's good proof of independent thought.
  10. You know i have the same issue, i make a very specific point of making my moves deliberate and almost focus more on doing what i want, the way i would outside of the wonderland, instead of it just happening. It is pretty god damn frustrating i have to say.
  11. I've been having trouble this week, could be because i've been pulling 10 hour gaming shifts in my time off. It's just so hard to stop playing counterstrike :(
  12. Hooray, first response and movement, despite all the doubt i've had it was most DEFINITELY Emma. I had just popped into the wonderland i've put in place, which has taken on half of it's form without me actually thinking about it now, things are just popping up; There was a music box that i had never seen before and indeed can't quite ever remember seeing (obviously i have at some point) and emma was standing up looking at it. That in and of itself is a big deal because emma had literally not moved before, except for the other time mentioned - unrelated note, i believe the lack of movement is my fault due to the way i'd visualise - i asked her what she was doing and got the extremely blunt answer of "Looking at the music box, duh." I was so caught off guard that i could not get further response from her which sucked, but i'd say the reason i got the response is because i honestly did not expect one and my god it was awesome. Since that happened about 2 days ago when i think about her i always feel like she's super energetic, which was a basic trait i narrated to her but i CERTAINLY did not mean it to the extent to which it is, my feel of her is that she's incredibly bouncy and hates staying still, which would make sense because that's all i had her doing for 99% of the time i've spent visualising. So yeah, haven't gotten another response since then, but it's a step.
  13. I am currently suffering through the same thing, Emma has been responding extremely quickly and it sounds just like me (obviously) and the fact it's through thought makes it a fucking bitch to identify if it's her.
  14. Question about voices, is there any fullproof way to ascertain if it's just my mind giving me the answer i want to a question or actually my tulpa? I am really kind of struggling to determine if the answer i got from a question in thought was me or my tulpa, i know there's a habit of saying if you aren't sure then it was probably your tulpa; But is that always the case? I'm just getting so unsure of my myself that's it's absolutely crazy.
  15. So after starting narration and going about it at a decent pace, i think i got a first legit movement from Emma today, see i've gotten a bit doubtful that i'm getting anywhere, so i rather desperately asked her to make any motion she could. Unless i'm absolutely the best subconscious puppeteer ever then she most definitely waved at me, i've never made her do a waving motion and i've certainly never thought about it before, it was great because i was able to visualise her palm as she did it which is a detail i haven't even thought about before. I guess i've reached the stage where i've put a fair bit of time in and and have the doubt creeping in, which annoys me because i KNOW she's there.
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