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Astaria

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    Star Child of Shangri-La

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    Female
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    USA
  1. Day Three!: March 24, 2018. 8:00 a.m. in the morning. (Why am I awake…it’s Saturday...) The first thing that came to my mind when I woke up was Skyller. (I found that surprising for some reason. Maybe because of the overwhelming emotions I had felt the night before.) I thought, “Why not try to visit him when I’m in a very sleepy mood and see what happens!” So I did. I imagined making a white glow come out of my finger and touched his forehead, “This will give him positivity and awaken him.” We went on talking for a while about random things. I then thought to ask, “Are you happy today?” and got a yes. Sadly, it made me super emotional again. Just like how I wrap my blue wind positive energy around us to go through him, he had wrapped a green wind energy around us to go through me. This was a symbol associated with happiness for us apparently, because that is what came to my mind! “Did you give me a happy energy??” Heartbeat pressure-yes. I told Skyller, “Can you tell me something random? Something I would NEVER think of?!” At first, I got the thought, “Lucky Charms,” but I pushed it off as if I had came up with the idea. I then got the word, “Heffalump,” from Winnie the Pooh. I used to love that movie as a little girl and hadn’t thought about it in FOREVER, so hearing it really shocked me! “Was that you who said that??” Yes. I kind of want to think that he said Lucky Charms to begin with as well. I’ve always hated Lucky Charms and haven’t ate them since I was probably five, so I definitely have no reason to say it. However, because I pushed the thought off as it were me, he came up with an even more shocking answer to assure me it was him. I imagined his form again, starting with his shoes, but once I got to his shirt, I imagined it yellow, which previously, had been white. I took this as he wanted to wear a yellow shirt! I asked him and got a yes. However, it then had a smiley face on it, “An emoji shirt! Nice!” At this point, I had been talking to him for about an hour. I decided to create a waterfall in our wonderland and put Koi fish in it to make it more alive. “Their beautiful, aren’t they (rhetorical question).” Heartbeat pressure-yes. I think he liked it. I thought about the little tree bud that was growing in the center of Shangri-La. “I’m going to water this seed every time I visit. The tree represents how you grow and progress!” I hadn’t thought about what type of tree it would be, so I told him, “Once this tree starts to grow, you can change it to any kind of tree or form you would like.” I was at a loss for what to do next, but surfing came to mind. He had on white and pink swimming trunks, but I couldn’t imagine what I was wearing. I thought that my surfboard was sunset colors-orange, yellow, and a little bit of light red-as these colors are happy and beautiful to me. But when I looked at his surfboard, I seen it as yellow…with an emoji happy face! The song. “Into Yesterday,” by Sugar Ray, started playing in my mind. This used to be one of my favorite songs because I always thought it seemed so...warm...and happy. I haven’t thought about this song in a long time. I think he was the one who played the song to begin with.. I told him it was time for me to go, but I didn’t imagine him laying in his moss bed. I imagined him laying on his surfboard, looking up into the stars. I gave him a flower, “I’ll be back later!” Skyller in reply said, “See ya later!” which I’ve NEVER said that phrase in my entire life! (I honestly think he really likes Into Yesterday because its been playing in my head all day!) --- Question: Has your tulpa ever brought up a song in your head? P.S. Here is
  2. Day Two!: All I could think after last night was...woah… I didn’t get to talk to him much through the daytime, but once it became dark, I reached out to him. I began meditating just as I did the day before. “You will be positive! The more positivity you bring to the table the better it will be for the both of us! I am going to help him and he is going to help me out as well!” (I have a feeling that I am going to pump myself up full of energy, as if I were about to go into a game, each time that I visit Shangri-La...I think it helps me though!) I greeted him, “Hey Skyller!” I told him we were going to be positive and I was going to send my positive energy into his body. I imagined a blue swirl wrapping around the both of us. The swirl was exiting my body and going through his. (This was symbolism, which I seem to use a lot!) I continued talking about the most beautiful things in life to me--the universe, stars, trees, the sun and moon, etc. “If I could be any type of animal, I would be a bird. I would be able to see all the beautiful views that no one else would be able to witness. I could see kids playing outside, families making memories together, and animals caring for each other. I wonder what animal you would be...” I went through a few of his characteristics-compassionate, loving, open-minded, emotional, comfortable, creative, etc.-and what they meant. I started asking him questions again. “Is your name Skyller?” “Is my name Astaria?” “Are we in Shangri-La?” I received a stronger head pressure to all of the questions! Eventually, a random thought came into my mind that I haven’t thought of in FOREVER! A rainbow, which went over both of our heads in the wonderland. “Did you think to make that rainbow appear??” I got a strong head pressure as a yes. I almost began to cry because of the happy emotions that I was receiving. “I’m trying so hard to bring positive vibes and help him to be happy and a rainbow is a symbol of happiness…” We tried to imagine his form in a more detailed way than just a translucent figure. I first started with his feet then worked my way up. I imagined him wearing black slip-on Vans. However, a thought came to mind to make them white. I didn't think anything of it, but then I thought, “Maybe the thought came from Skyller and he would rather wear white Vans than black Vans because white is a happier color.” Not to mention, I would have never thought of white Vans and I’ve never even owned a pair of white shoes. I feel like this really was him! I then imagined black jeans, but when I got to the shirt, I wasn’t exactly sure what he would like to wear. I asked, “Would you like to wear just a plain white t-shirt?” and received head pressure! I moved up to his face, which was very difficult to imagine, as I’m not looking at an image to just copy. I seen bigger lips than average (for a white guy), a button nose, and beautiful sky-blue eyes, with gentle eyebrows, and medium length light brown/blonde hair. At first, I had imagined he would have maybe a gold or sun-colored eyes, but when I was talking to him, I looked into his eyes and they were sky-blue. I had never considered this option, so I think it was maybe him who wanted the color? We continued talking the night away, and I began asking questions again. “Are you Skyller?” Yes. “Am I Astaria?” Yes. I then asked, “Are you happy?” I got a strong head pressure from this one question. I was overwhelmed by emotions...to know that I made him happy. I just wanted him to be happy and I did it. I started bawling my eyes out in Shangri-La and couldn’t stop crying. I even shed a tear in real life. I told him I was going to parrot him to see if maybe this could help his speech. I just said random things like. “Hi! I’m Skyller, I want to be positive, etc. etc.” I don’t think it had a huge effect, but I do think it may have helped just a little. “Time to go to sleep for me! Even when you’re asleep or when you’re awake, remember that I am here with you.” I imagined him laying on his moss tree bed in the sky, and gave him a Starfall Blossom. “Goodnight.” “Goodnight.” --- Question: Have any of you became so overwhelmed with emotions from your tulpa that you cried? P.S. The attachment shows a picture of Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. This was sort of the reference that gave me Skyller's figure idea, even though Skyller doesn't look anything like Howl!
  3. Day One!: The first day of meeting him. For the past few days, I have honestly been completely exhausted from stress. I could feel my stress squeezing my lungs inside of my chest. It has been a constant idea floating around in my mind. I have had dreams about finally creating a tulpa, even before I had decided on what gender, form, or personality I would like my tulpa to have. I guess my subconscious must have recognized what I hadn’t yet realized. I thought for many days about what I would actually want in a tulpa. ”What would the gender be?” “What would they look like?” “What type of personality would I like to see come out of this?” The easiest part was coming up with the gender, which would be male. Secondly, I knew what type of person I would like him to be. He would be someone who is friendly, empathetic, outgoing, expressive, understanding, helpful, protective, creative, enthusiastic, and most of all, positive! He would be a bit like me, to be honest. However, his form was the most difficult decision of all. At first, I thought maybe I would just make his form a phoenix, or a white sphere, or possibly a tree. (I love trees!) I just had to end up thinking of him as a human. I wanted him to have a gentle look to him; Someone who you would look at and see the kindness radiating off of them! I started looking through memories of males and which ones looked the most gentle. I got the character Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle stuck in my mind. I, of course, did not want him to look IDENTICAL to Howl. Howl was just a reference for what my mind would eventually come up with. I did not want to make my tulpa in a form of anyone, no matter if they were a real human or a fake character in a movie. I wanted my tulpa to be something that my mind created by itself--a new being! --~-- March 22 of 2018, after five long years of indecisiveness, I would finally make the decision to plant this seed and watch it grow. I thought that the most beneficial first step to take was to relax my mind and meditate. I listened to aquarium music to help put me in a different state of mind. I began telling myself, “Relax, fall into the back of your mind, and think positive.” After about five minutes of relaxation and telling myself what my goals were, I fell into my wonderland--Shangri-La. The world had a galaxy like sky, with colors of pink, blue, and purple. The stars twinkled like diamonds; The occasional shooting star racing by. The world was not dark though, nor frightening. The sky full of stars lit up my surroundings just enough to see all of Shangri-La. The ground had flowers galore. Each time I took a step, a sparkle sound could be heard beneath me. I could see a puddle of galaxy under me with each step I took. I could feel the wind blowing my hair, the fresh air being taken into my lungs, and the water from a little ocean on my feet. It was as if all of my senses had floated with me to the back of my mind. I walked to the center of Shangri-La, directly under the brightest star in the sky. Reaching into my pocket, I grabbed a white glowing seed. “With this seed, I will plant the life and watch it grow. This tree will grow just as my tulpa will grow.” I held the seed in my hands and put as much love and positivity that I could in it. As it lit up brighter, I put my hands to the ground, and watched the world take it in, as if it were drinking water. Once planted, I watered the seed, which caused it to sprout a little bud. “Now it is time to begin the process.” From the little bud came a small glowing white sphere, no bigger than a golf ball that hovered over the plant. “Hello Skyller! My name is (Astaria)! But you can call me (blank) or (blank) or (blank), or anything else that you would want! I want you to know that you are loved and that we are going to work together in this process. We will trust each other, love each other, care for each other, listen to each other, encourage each other, and be positive! We will love life and all it has to offer. We will always look towards the positive side, not dwell on the negatives in life. This will be a difficult journey, no doubt. To get to the top of the mountain you have to climb over rocks, but instead of focusing on how tired our arms are, we will focus on the greater things! We will help each other over that rock, have more time to connect, and laugh at the good times! Remember to always look at the bigger picture.” The first words Skyller heard was how positive our lives would be. While in the first two minutes of explaining how positive we would be, I got a STRONG head pressure, one that I’ve NEVER felt before. (And I get migraines almost every week!) It felt like a strong pressure behind my eyes, almost like a pounding pressure. It wasn’t just pressure though; It felt like a heartbeat behind my eyes, but it didn’t hurt. It felt...powerful. Emotional. Wonderful. It’s very difficult to describe. I almost became so emotional that I cried from the sensation. Afterwards, I tried to imagine Skyller’s form. However, it was only a see-through, translucent figure. We walked together and I continued telling him we would work through this as a team--we just needed to trust each other and find one another. I told him I would listen out for him, but he would also have to call out to me as well. We walked on the ocean sand and felt the water over our feet. I would sometimes stop and become so excited that I would imagine myself hugging him and filling him up with that same positivity that I have in my own personality. At one point, we both sat down on the sand. I created a small white light above my finger and said, “This is positivity, love, nurturement, compassion, and trust that we will both continue to uphold.” Then I touched his forehead and watched the light infuse into him. I eventually told him that I was going to ask yes or no questions. He would try to give me head pressure for a “yes,” and no head pressure for a “no.” I asked, “Is your name Skyller?” I had asked this a few times throughout being with him. However, I felt only a little pressure, but not too much. I told him that I would assume it was him and that we would get to that point soon! It was time for me to go to sleep. I looked at him and said, “I will always be here with you. Even when I leave and you go to sleep, I am here. When you can finally stay awake without me and I’m not physical here, I am still here with you. I’m so excited that I don’t even want to leave!” I created two unique, out-of-this-world trees, which held a moss-like bed in the middle (like a hammock), where he could sleep while I was gone. I gave him a symbol that I connect myself to--a Starfall Blossom--to hold while I was away. Therefore, I could physically be there. “Goodnight,” I said to him, which in reply I heard, “Goodnight.” I hadn’t heard him say anything the entire hour I was with him, but I did move him along with me as I imagined! However, I’m sure this was just me parroting him for the first time. This was the first time I have ever felt anything like this before. I couldn’t even describe to you how deep in mind I was. I felt so far away from my body; It was unreal. I hope to continue this journey with Skyller. --- Question: Did anyone else feel this STRONG pressure behind their eyes when they first created their tulpa? Did you think that represented something? Like the birth of your tulpa? (Because that is kind of how I interpreted it!) ^-^ P.S. This is what a Starfall Blossom looks like! (It is not an actual flower in real life, sadly): P.P.S. The attachments show an image of what Shangri-La sort of looks like!
  4. Aloha to all! My name is Astaria, though Star is acceptable as well! This is the beginning of my (or should I say our?) journey into tulpamancy! I have never attempted to create a tulpa before, so this will be a new experience for me; An experience that I hope will turn into something beautiful. --~-- I first learned about the tulpa phenomenon when I was only thirteen years old. I was fascinated with the idea of the mind being capable of creating an entirely different life. However, there was so much information that was missing for me to completely grasp the idea. I was in middle school, I had other priorities, and things going on in life. Not to mention, I was ONLY thirteen years old! I remember reading “Kiahdaj's Absolute Guide to Tulpas,” where he quotes JDBar for saying children should not create tulpas because their minds have not fully developed. Although, I was very mature for my age, I definitely wasn’t ready to fully make a decision, but I guess that shows maturity right there in itself. I cannot lie, I am still very skeptical and afraid. Not that I don’t believe in the phenomenon, I do, I always have. That is why I’m afraid! If I didn’t believe, I wouldn’t be frightened by it. I think I am just afraid of the outcome? The change? The unknown? Hopefully this is how everyone feels at first, or at least, how some people felt before they began. It took me a long time to come to this decision. I was worried that my reason for creating a tulpa wasn’t good enough. Most people, from what I’ve heard, create tulpas to help loneliness, depression, etc. However, I am not lonely; I have many trustworthy friends, family, and a lovely boyfriend of five years. I am not depressed, quite truthfully, the complete opposite! I’m a very positive and happy-go-lucky girl in a very positive world! Therefore, I have decided to finally create a tulpa based on one reason: For experimentation and the experience. I want to learn and develop as time goes by! I want to open up new doors and see what my mind is capable of! I want to discover the unknown for myself, not just read about others experiences. I want to live my own life to the fullest, that includes opening up my mind, even to tulpamancy. --~-- I wish for the best of all those out there reading this! Any comments or suggestions will be appreciated! There is a long road in front of me, one that I hope to continue until I reach the top of the highest mountain. ♥
  5. Astaria

    CTRL+V

    Eternal life, strength, love, protection, beauty, knowledge and the sky itself. I like to search the meaning of names.
  6. 1732 is close to 1738...
  7. I have found the Draw my Life video if you would like to see it for some insight as Spice described. I'm not allowed to link it here, as I have too low of a post count. If you would like to have it, you can PM me (hopefully)!
  8. As you may have noticed, I am completely new here and have no personal experience with creating a tulpa or the process of trying. However, I have been interested in this process and how it works for over five years. For many of those years, I wondered what were the benefits of having a tulpa, as well as the disadvantages. Today, I have finally decided to dig deeper and get personal opinions from others who have actually gone through the process of creating a tulpa. I am not going to lie; I am completely skeptical about this phenomenon, just as many of you probably had before you started the process and seen your results. There have been many times where I wanted to try experimenting with creating a tulpa. However, I never would want to begin something as serious as this, seeing as how it would affect the rest of my life most likely. I’m wanting to know more information about this, which I’m hoping some of you could help. By creating a tulpa, you are basically splitting your mind into two or more, or at least training your mind to know the difference between the host and the tulpa(s). The tulpa has its own voice, form, personality, age, gender, physical properties, and gestures. I also know that after spending many hours with your tulpa, you can eventually “switch” places with them. This sounds a lot like Dissociative Identity Disorder. First of, DID is not multiple personalities in one body, it is identity fragmentation of the mind; The mind essentially creates one or more identities in the brain, usually caused by trauma (sexual abuse, neglect, etc). This helps the host to cope with life (Ex: An identity could be guarded, strong, and protective to help the host feel in control and not get harmed in life). For one, with DID, the “alters” or other identities have their own voice, form, personality, age, gender, physical properties, and gestures. The alters will also “switch” with the host and take control of the body. Of course, the host does not sometimes remember this and does not force this, unlike hosts’ of tulpas. The host also does not consciously train themselves to have another “alter” as one with a tulpa does. However, they sound very much alike. At the same time, researchers are still unsure that DID is even a real disorder, as well as they don’t know that a tulpa is a real creation and separate forms inside a body with a host. What I’m wondering is, does anyone here know and understand the real effects that creating a tulpa has on the mind? Is this actually training the mind to permanently/temporarily split to create two or more different identities? Of course, unlike DID, the host is just able to have more control over their tulpas and their mind. When you create a tulpa, has your mind and how it originally function changed in any way? What I mean is, would your brain always be split into thinking that there is more than one identity? I have read that you can “kill” off your tulpa, but is your brain ever truly the same afterwards? If anyone could explain the comparison to DID and the real life effects that this has on the mind I would appreciate that! I also hope I did not offend anyone by asking this in any way, shape, or form. I am not disagreeing with the fact that a tulpa is real or not real, nor am I saying that creating a tulpa is essentially giving yourself a disorder. I am coming about this in a learning perspective and I actually want to know the real effects this can have.
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