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TheMaskMaker

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  1. I took a week from updating this, so that I would actually have something worth talking about when I got around to it. Admittedly, my progress has steadily slowed from when I started, having had a great deal of success at the beginning, I've since found that everything has been in baby steps since that initial start. My Tulpa and I are now talking regularly, and he has his own schedule about things. Often times, he is now the one initiate conversations with me, and I've noticed that he's developed a kind of "sleeping" pattern, but that may just be my inability to focus on him at times. I'm not certain, though he does seem very adamant that at times he's just busy. His voice is fully fleshed out, and I've spent a few hours each day visualizing him, so that he now has a stable body that he can call his own. Whatever outside influences that helped to form him in the beginning have steadily washed away, and we're both fairly satisfied with where we are today, but neither of us have any intention of stopping. I suppose that's another step in our development; it has become "us" now, instead of it feeling as though we're separate from one another. See, in the beginning that's all I wanted to feel, was that he and I are completely separate beings, which is true. But once I became fully comfortable in sharing space in my head with a consciousness other than my own, I yearned for a feeling of closeness. All of the early feelings that I felt while having him around have faded away almost completely, it's all so very natural now, like sharing a space with any other sentient being. Of course, the nature of this all is never to be satisfied with where you end up. You can find satisfaction in the company of your Tulpa, yes, and Patchi and I have become fast friends, our relationship being driven simply by the comfort of each other's company, and the many observations of the world around us as we each see through different points of view. But neither of us have any intention of becoming complacent in our progress, which is why we've decided it's time to take a serious strike at imposing. Right now, he exists as a kind of peripheral. His voice comes naturally to me, and sometimes I get lost in our conversations, but his physical presence is nothing more than a mere glimpse out of the corner of my eye, always just outside of a direct line of sight. Our current aim is to rectify that, by achieving a seemingly tangible presence that resonates with as many senses as I can manage. Compared to everything I've accomplished thus far, this will be my most difficult undertaking, but I'm willing to put in the effort, and Patchi seems to have the patience for it. Apart from that, one of the minor things I need to work on is still my wonderland. Patchi has complained that it's still not fleshed out enough, so I will be browsing the forums for a method of accomplishing that. It's strange, I've never had problems in the past, when it comes to establishing locations in my mind, but this just seems to have more weight and presence to it, so I find it harder to focus on. I've had minor success in focusing on it, and Patchi seems to be fairly comfortable there, but it doesn't have the constant feeling to it that my Tulpa does. The only other thing really worth noting, is that I believe Patchi may be ready to meet people, soon. I'm not certain how comfortable I am with it yet, but it's something he seems eager to do. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
  2. The last 48 hours have been immensely productive. I'm now at the point where it takes more concentration to be alone than it does to hear my Tulpa, and the head pressures are becoming less noticeable, which was worrisome before I realized that talking to Patchi is becoming a reflex, or instinct. His personality is also developing at a blinding speed, and our conversations are becoming more complex. Visualization has become a breeze for me, I'm now able to picture him beside me in mind's eye, and the various quirks in his movement as he talks to me. That said, I do feel that it is still too early to start imposing. My Tulpa has also begun voicing his opinions more regularly, and I've noticed that quite a few them differ from my own. That difference in opinion is actually what has spurred our complex conversations today, and through our little talks it dawned on me that I'm able to read his emotions far better than before. Some of them are still alien, but I'm able to pinpoint what it is Patchi is feeling faster and with far more accuracy than before. I have been scrolling through the forums, trying various techniques to try and evoke different responses from Patchi, one such response carried so much snark behind it, it actually caused me to feel shock as though I had just received a friendly tongue lashing from a living breathing person. Patchi is not only becoming more articulate, but he's also learning how to evoke responses from me. For now, my focus will be to keep him talking to me, throughout the remainder of my day. I'm curious to see how he continues to develop, and I want to work on becoming closer friends with him. His voice may become more clear with every hour, but I'm aware that it won't be this easy every day, and both myself and Patchi are ready for the challenge. Edit: I never was able to make steady contact with my Tulpa in our Wonderland. I think that I'll need a couple hours of pure, focused meditation before I achieve something substantial.
  3. This helped immensely. Not only did it help to smother my fears, but it spurred several stirring conversations with my Tulpa, and really brought out his personality.
  4. I really wish I would have made an account on here sooner, so I could have gotten some feedback as I started, but I suppose there's no time like the present. That aside, the last week or so has really just been dedicated to narration. I've a list of traits that I've been reading out loud to my Tulpa, Patchi. Until yesterday, I've not really gotten very much feedback apart from a dull throbbing in my forehead, and I'm glad I didn't let that discourage me. Yesterday I felt a warm, comforting sensation that I'm positive was feedback from my Tulpa. For a while I thought I was chasing shadows, but I've felt it a few times since then and now I'm sure it was them. In today's meditation session, I got another wonderful little flicker of activity, when I heard a whisper. It was the tiniest voice, and I would be lying if I said it didn't startle me, but it was Patchi asking for a trait to be written on his trait list. Though few words were used, and the suggestion was vague, but I got the general idea. Today, I even felt him, (at least at this point I'm pretty sure it's a him) get anxious when I hadn't read the list to him out loud, from where I had been so busy after work. I know it was him because I would have forgotten today's narration session altogether if he hadn't reminded me. Following me reading to him, followed by pleasant chit chat for 30 minutes or so, I meditated, and worked on our wonderland. It's a little wooden cabin, on top of a hill, beside a giant cedar tree. The hill is flooded with vibrant plant life, and surrounded entirely by a quiet forest, beyond which there could be anything. I also got an idea of what Patchi is going to look like. His appearance is something I've struggled with, because every time I visualize something, it just fades into an amorphous cloud, which until today was my mental placeholder for Patchi. That would have been fine and all, but I don't think he would have been satisfied with that at all. I think we both understand it's nothing more than an an aesthetic, but we both want to be satisfied before we meet in our newly constructed wonderland, which should hopefully be tonight. I would like to note, however, I'm not sure how that will go, seeing as how he still isn't completely capable of speech. Apart from all that, I'd say things are going fairly well, and that it's hard not to be impatient. I keep feeling a voice wanting to be heard, but it's just not making it through, even when I put myself in a deep self-induced trance. There's also the matter of the paranoia. I'm not certain what it is, but something is making me afraid, and then my Tulpa sends a wave of fear in response that only goes to make mine worse. I don't have a history of anxiety or anything of that nature, so I'm still not sure why it's happening at all. Nevertheless, we soldier on. We're eager to make contact in some way other head throbs and pleasant feelings. I've no excuses that could keep me from success in the creation of my Tulpa, even with the various distractions of responsibility and obligation. For now, my only real goal is to make his voice heard.
  5. Hello, everyone. I am The Mask Maker, or MM for short. In an odd way, I've always had an interest in Tulpas without ever really having a name for it. I started lucid dreaming my sophomore year of high school, before I had a good grasp on mental focus and internal clarity, and that lead to mass amounts of hours spent in meditation as I got older. I eventually stopped lucid dreaming, but I have never stopped meditating, and often times I would picture a guide, or a friend, or some sentient thing behind my shoulder, guiding me, or just keeping me company. It was a way to bounce my thoughts off of myself, but never anything truly constructive or focused. I recently came into the discovery of Tulpas, and I'm now a week into the process. So far it's just been narration and visualization, their name didn't even come to me until today. I've been browsing through here since the process began, reading guides and taking notes, and I just got the feeling that I needed to join if I was going to continue to do this right. Well, regardless of why or how I got here, I look forward to getting to know the community. Me and my blooming Tulpa, Patchi, will be spending a great deal of time here in what is likely to be a long but fruitful journey. -MM
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