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Psych said there's not a very high chance of trying more random antidepressants helping me, and the next thing he'd recommend is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (which I can't do, insurance/location) + ketamine, and the next next would be trying combinations of medications So he prescribed me... Just Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) And said to keep taking Vyvanse "as I am" even though I said that was usually only a few times a month lol Another generic antidepressant as far as I'm concerned 0.5% chance of permanent sexual dysfunction, pretty cool

yeah. though i know they weren't AI since it was before LLMs were a thing, but it might as well have been thank you

The only correct answer is "no, I just told you everything I already knew". Unfortunate regardless. We wish that for you too. (We kinda want that too but me more than anyone.) Thank you! 😊

I’ll miss you

Ai coded response

a little joy helps, at least for not being totally miserable i hope they find an answer for you. tb had been through that with the gauntlet of antidepressant/AP/anxiety meds never helping depression at all or ever making socializing any easier to do, but somehow things seem to be going somewhere for the moment i suppose. i guess just to say 15 years of nothing working doesn't mean there isn't something, i suppose (though I feel if healthcare system didn't suck, that could have be accomplished in -5 to -10 years yeah. that's the other thing, too, is it doesn't actually know in what way you might enjoy the party or the reason you are going. sometimes it's just nice to get nice food once in a while but otherwise there isn't any talking to people. or going off to play horseshoes alone or something. or a party that just involves a lot of videogames, board games, soda, and pizza with 3 other people (if that even qualifies as a party, but the friend who would organize that would refer to it as a house party). just saying you'd rather go to a party gives 0 useful information. i wonder if the people who give those tests even realize that *nod* me too *nod* i wonder too. sometimes these tests also use words that feel like it was written by someone living in the 50s lol. i can't think of an example but they use extremely old fashioned slang at times. i wonder if they are just really outdated and made by and for people who just lived much more simple and similar lives to each other. like their idea of a party is limited, and they aren't even thinking of the possibility of a tiny LAN party, or any sort of party that isn't just like 20 people who are all chatting and drinking together with a football game on, or a big work party that is similar but it is a bunch of coworkers that you might not usually have time to talk to. or debaucherous college parties. i have no idea... also even worse is how answering those questions ultimately didn't have a point. it wasn't like he needed to know in order to have a better idea of how to help, it really seemed like it was supposed to get us to realize those things, but i don't know who has introspected so little as to not be self aware of those things TB had another similarly bad experience with an even older therapist once. they were a betterhelp therapist. they were struggling to help TB with their socializing difficulties and anxieties related to it, so they gave a worksheet to do. was a sort of standard thing of identifying what you are actually fearful of and what realistically the chance of that happening is. i think their intention was that by answering the questions, the person would realize their fears are not things that could actually happen, or if they did happen, that the consequences wouldn't actually matter. however, that wasn't the case for TB. they answered what the fears are and described that they have a reasonably decent chance of occurring and do occur in the past, and it has created tremendous suffering and caused many problems but TB submitted the test, and when the betterhelp therapist responded later, she just said something like "Great! Did answering the questions help lower your anxiety?" which... that told TB that she didn't even read it at all, otherwise she would know that the answer is no... also, it was disheartening that these sort of exercises are not actually used to help give the therapist better insight on how to help you, just a streamlined way to try to convince the patient doing the exercise to automatically improve after having gone through the process of doing it. it's not only betterhelp also... so many therapists seem to think that giving someone busy work is helpful... i don't know if maybe there is some portion of people that actually works on, or if most people would find it as unhelpful as we do. if the latter, i sort of think the mental healthcare industry might actually be a scam, or at least a significant portion of it. there are some helpful therapists and doctors, but they don't seem like the norm, but hearing people say they were not helped by the mental healthcare system in any signficant way is more common for us to hear than that they were helped. it seems more common to hear how it has actually hurt people, even i'm glad =]]]] my host and system isn't great at it either but i just bumble awkwardly and shamelessly through it a bit more, relative to the others, i guess i see i hope for the day we can live somewhere where it's easy to go outside and be next to nature anytime we want without worrying about other people being around okie dokie no worries take your time *nodnod*

And here I am just interested in reading it, lol. (If you get a random reply in the middle of the night, I finally got time to read it all, lol.) She's happy to hear you had fun! 😊 Same. Very much ditto! 😊 (I think I'm good at conversations but I know I just kinda lose all skills randomly.) Good luck! 😊 I do hope it helps.

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Best of luck. I'll be praying

Right? How many people will be at the party? Are they friends, acquaintances, only strangers? What activities will there be besides socializing? Will there be food? Where is it? I can enjoy parties, but I need details before I can say if I'd rather go to one than do my own thing. 100% agree. At least the library's quiet. I'll find something to read Yikes. Glad that got sorted out in the end Right? I really wonder if neurotypicals understand these kinds of questions better than we do or if they're just more comfortable leaving out the nuance That's so confusing. Why not just ask those questions? It's fine! I'm not great at conversation, but this is all super interesting to me! I feel like I'm just wasting time today. I do that when I stay home all day, but it was super hot earlier until it rained. Not worth leaving my apartment when I'd probably just sit outside or something for a change of scenery

Fun game news I care about is nice but still in the midst of life really sucking to be clear About to talk to my psychiatrist (newish, for prescriptions my ketamine/adhd nurse practitioner couldn't do) and I have a lot of "Are you sure any of this is likely to do anything at this point?" prepared after how nothing-or-worse trintellix was despite being a "unique" medication, same nothing as every other double digit antidepressant I've tried

pain T_T wow our psyche eval didn't require us to draw anything, but there was a bizarre portion where he said he would say a word, and we had to just say the first thing that came to mind. but i have no idea what that test can find out... if that is supposed to somehow give some deeper insight into someone's feelings for something, that seems like extreme pseudo science. it's just like (us: "please don't think anything stupid so we're not forced to say something embarrassing" -proceeds to say nonsensical randomness and embarrassing things under extreme duress because don't want to lie and not say what first came to mind but it is agonizing to say T_T) interesting. i am not sure what we are in that oof i typed for an hour again. i'm extra talkative. still i don't want to trouble you or anyone to slog through my text walls, i guess it isn't important. sympathizing/empathizing except sometimes that accidentally takes the form of talking way too long about ourselves. that's also a thing socially we don't get very well. sometimes i feel like mentioning our own similar experiences after someone else mentions theirs would be a form of bonding or relating or validating, but it also seems like something that could also annoy someone or seem self centered, but also saying a platitude can feel shallow sometimes, and giving advice also may or may not work depending on various factors, so IRL usually there is nothing we would say, but then that comes off as not caring. lol x3 before i type too much again about how i typed too much alkwejfo;iajwefo;iawjef;oiwaejfo;iwajefowaijefoaiwejfoiwejf cross system condition that we don't have the skill to say things in a short way T_T, usually triples time to make a post if trying to re-edit it to be shorter only for it to be like 20% shorter at best maybe air conditioner time. multiple days in a row that i passively sweat, especially in the evening xDDDD oh nice, i'm happy you get good news! i had fun watching dbz with linda. i was gonna ask if you wanted to right after but i then tired myself out a bit with my text wall, and also remembered you say you had an appointment today i practiced talking while watching by not muting mic with linda today, so maybe i'd be better at it if we watched things like that. hmmmmmmmm

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The promise of an eventual Touhou 8 remaster is the best news I've gotten in a long time

human vocalists are overrated

Sometimes I wonder what I would say to myself from 10 years ago if I met him. Other than the obvious "buy bitcoin" if he asked me what happened in those 10 years I wouldn't even know where to start And the same thought process can be had for myself 10 years in the future

This is apparently common for autistic people. I don't know if it's because the questions make sense to neurotypicals but we autistic people read them from a different angle or if the autistic urge to over-explain just doesn't gel with a flat agree/disagree, but yeah Related: I had to draw pictures as part of my autism assessment. I remember the psychologist remarking that I'd drawn a boy in one picture but a girl in the picture before, which supposedly meant I subconsciously feel the need to be more tough or "boyish" in certain situations and blah blah blah... I actually drew a boy because I'd drawn a girl in the previous picture and wanted to balance out the genders of the characters. I'm an Enneagram 5 (the introverted type that over-intellectualies everything), and if you dig deep into Enneagram theory, you learn 5s are rejection types that tend to lack awareness of our own needs (rejection = unconscious rejection of one's own needs) because we tend to downplay and rationalize away our emotional needs. Supposedly, 5s felt like their needs (emotional and/or otherwise) weren't met when they were young and learned it's easier to just not have needs. I wonder if it's common for autistic people to be 5s

This one seems the most feasible

We thought it was a remake since he said he had lost the code in the past, but supposedly during the livestream autotranslate said he found backups of the code, so it is probably a remaster with updated code to work on modern hardware but copypasted the old danmaku formulas at least

mhmmmm, thanks! me too i hope things are going well for you all. i think i saw you post in some other threads. we want to too, there were some really really interesting ones lately, and some other things tulpamancy related i want to read. we have a bad habit of reading certain things too slowly though... but i'm sure we will also i brb too

Looks nice. 😄 I didn't know that, cool! 😁 No clue. I haven't heard of that one. Sounds interesting though. 😁 If you don't have it, it's on sale right now. (Why we're thinking about getting sooner than later.) I'll have to ask later about what voice she wants, we might know a few. Want to read but should let Linda watch with you all first. Maybe later. 😄 I'd like that. 😁 Anyway, time for me to get going, see you all later! 😊